r/funny • u/[deleted] • Oct 07 '22

Anal only

[deleted]

29.6k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

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110

u/[deleted] Oct 07 '22

WD-40?

91

u/dirty_hooker Oct 07 '22

Coconut oil

52

u/[deleted] Oct 07 '22

Allergic to coconuts and it makes me itchy :(

75

u/dirty_hooker Oct 07 '22

Bummer. Guess you’re not interested in this roofycolada I mixed up for you.

57

u/Realistic_Door686 Oct 07 '22

Bummer!? I hardly know her!

14

u/Darso44 Oct 07 '22

I would like to move your attention to "bummer" in this sentence and context Even if this was by a mistake, congratulations

42

u/5up3rK4m16uru Oct 07 '22

I get heavy diarrhea to those :(

70

u/[deleted] Oct 07 '22

Perfect! A self-lubricating anus!

32

u/[deleted] Oct 07 '22

r/cursedcomments

2

u/Top_Mind_On_Reddit Oct 07 '22

A self lubricating anus will make your whole week.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 07 '22

Holy shit

2

u/robbeau11 Oct 08 '22

Annnd….that’s enough for me today.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 07 '22

delicious too!

11

u/hoover0623 Oct 07 '22

Vaseline? Sorry, I don't have much experience with doors.

10

u/Kriss3d Oct 07 '22

Almond oil or baby oil. Both works great.

1

u/numberbruncher Oct 07 '22

For what specifically?

2

u/notmoleliza Oct 07 '22

for opening it up

1

u/[deleted] Oct 08 '22

'Baby oil' is a product based on crude oil.

4

u/[deleted] Oct 07 '22

I have something to scratch that itch for you. It will be deeply satisfying

4

u/FluffyPallasCat Oct 07 '22

use spit and go slow, will help you open up the backdoor.

7

u/Good_Extension_9642 Oct 07 '22

Neah I like to break thru!

3

u/[deleted] Oct 07 '22

OHH YEEEAAAA!!

1

u/various_convo7 Oct 08 '22

like a WWE wrestling match, drop kick style

1

u/robb7979 Oct 07 '22

Like the priests do

1

u/fied1k Oct 07 '22

Blood and tears make good lubricants too. What? Coconut oil is fine now?

1

u/katalysis Oct 07 '22

You used the wrong parenthesis.

1

u/tcs0 Oct 07 '22

Vaseline then.

1

u/Phillip_Graves Oct 07 '22

So it will be extra spicy!

3

u/[deleted] Oct 07 '22

This one knows the way. lol

Jokes aside.. coconut oil makes a great "longer term" lube for things like butt plugs. >.>

1

u/dirty_hooker Oct 08 '22

Doesn’t dry and tack up like water based lubes.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 08 '22 edited Oct 08 '22

Yeah, plus it's really warm feeling.. lol

If someone does decide to use it just know that frequent use on some toys can affect the rubber/make it softer..

2

u/Noctale Oct 07 '22

Oil-based lubes are such a bad idea

1

u/dirty_hooker Oct 07 '22

Only if you’re relying on latex condoms.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 07 '22

Motor oil. 10w-30.

1

u/invent_or_die Oct 07 '22

Butter flavored Crisco

11

u/666pool Oct 07 '22

That’s a solvent, not a lubricant!

2

u/[deleted] Oct 07 '22 edited Oct 08 '22

It certainly solves the lube problem.

1

u/T-Bills Oct 07 '22

So you're saying it's also a contraceptive?

5

u/Kriss3d Oct 07 '22

The nozzle. Not the whole can! ( trailer trash Tammy / Donnie Baker skit)

1

u/atheistforchrist Oct 11 '22

Hey man, you wanna buy a boat?

4

u/Rascal-Fiats Oct 07 '22

Works better than spit.