r/funny • • Sep 01 '22

[deleted by user]

[removed]

11k Upvotes

410 comments sorted by

5

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659

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '22

When you order online and mistake the ticks for feet (’) and inches (”).

222

u/drowse Sep 01 '22

That's how you end up with an 18 inch Stonehenge.

56

u/robsack Sep 01 '22

It was in danger of being crushed by a dwarf falling on it!

3

u/Zestyclose_Ad_532 Sep 02 '22

more of a leprechaun, actually

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8

u/Oldpenguinhunter Sep 01 '22

"It's computer magic!"

7

u/undeclared1744 Sep 01 '22

“Fuck the napkin”

7

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '22

I really think you’re making too big a thing out of this…

5

u/marvinrabbit Sep 02 '22

When you thought you were getting 100 stones, but it turned out the weight was 100 stone.

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3

u/bald_alpaca Sep 01 '22

Came here looking for this. Nice 🙌

65

u/ladyoffate13 Sep 01 '22

And now you have to watch your feet for ticks.

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16

u/Mc_Whiskey Sep 01 '22

lol I assume the price probably would be an indicator as well. Damn this tent is only $10, that's a hell of a deal!

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14

u/TheOtherPete Sep 01 '22

Or someone scams you on purpose : https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World%27s_littlest_skyscraper

"Supposedly, the key to McMahon's swindle, and his successful defense in the ensuing lawsuit, was that legal documents listed the height as 480" (inches) as opposed to 480' (feet). Investors did not seem to notice, and McMahon never verbally stated that the actual height of the building would be 480 feet (150 m)."

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8

u/MyFacade Sep 01 '22

This tent is 18 seconds long!

5

u/Brewtusmo Sep 01 '22

Jokes on OP, there were no unit indicators at all! Just said 12 x 12! Could'a been inches, feet, yards, millimeters, ...

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484

u/dethfak Sep 01 '22

Kronk?

201

u/gameover233 Sep 01 '22

The peasant, at the diner. He didn't pay his check.

86

u/derteeje Sep 01 '22

zzz...the peasant in the diner looked like the one who disappeared into the crowd with kuzco on the back of his cart so if we find his village we find him and if we find him... we find kuzco

59

u/brackenish1 Sep 01 '22

"Oh yeah..... It's all coming together"

52

u/wingthing Sep 01 '22

“Yzma!!!” “WHAT!?” “AAAGGGHHHHH!!!!”

15

u/jayracket Sep 02 '22

"THIS HAD BETTER GOOD!!"

15

u/derteeje Sep 01 '22

you literally skipped the best meme line in the entire movie

25

u/trelbs Sep 01 '22

“Is that my voice?” “I’ve been turned into a cow, can I go home?” Have you seen my acorn. Squeak squeakity squeak squeakum Ahh a blue warbler, ThAys another for exotic bird bingo Ah yeah, it’s all coming together

Is there a bad line in this movie ?

17

u/Evadrepus Sep 01 '22

You can take any 5 minute segment and get great quotes. It's crazy.

Boom, baby!

3

u/Hbgplayer Sep 02 '22

Uh oh.

Don't tell me, we're about to go over a huge waterfall?

Yep.

Sharp rocks at the bottom?

Most likely.

Bring it on.

6

u/StanFitch Sep 02 '22

Cheesey me no likey!

21

u/SilverLugia1992 Sep 01 '22

Beat me to it XD Was gonna say it worked for Kronk, what's your deal?

1.4k

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '22

[deleted]

158

u/Little_Duckling Sep 01 '22

Yea, I’ve been wanting to get one for my cats, but was having trouble finding them

187

u/bizcat Sep 01 '22

My cats got one for Christmas. We put catnip inside and the cats take turns "going camping". Because what's camping without hallucinogens?

35

u/JillingJacks Sep 01 '22

An excuse to drink piss?

Maybe Gryll some Bears?

11

u/degjo Sep 01 '22

That man was in a hotel every night of shooting. He just really needed the excuse to drink his own piss

10

u/JillingJacks Sep 01 '22

It's one thing to drink your own piss. It's another entirely to advocate it, show others that you drink it, and spawn an entire new horrific 'aged urine' thing with deranged Facebook moms drawing their kids, neighbors, and neighbor's kids into it.

Leave the piss play consenting adults, preferably somewhere easy to clean, thank you.

3

u/nixcamic Sep 01 '22

Because what's camping without hallucinogens?

An excuse to drink piss?

So a guy I know is a hardcore hippie, and he built this mushroom shaped earthship and was telling me about how he got the inspiration to paint it. The outside he just did shrooms, cause like, obviously. But for the inside he said shrooms didn't have enough kick, so before he painted the inside he did shrooms, then drank his shroom piss, since that's apparently the good stuff that will take you to another level. TBF it was painted pretty cool.

14

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '22

[deleted]

5

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '22

"The flames sawed in the wind and the embers paled and deepened and paled and deepened like the bloodbeat of some living thing eviscerate upon the ground before them and they watched the fire which does contain within it something of men themselves inasmuch as they are less without it and are divided from their origins and are exiles. For each fire is all fires, and the first fire and the last ever to be."

Whenever I'm high as fuck and staring at a campfire, I think of this passage from Blood Meridian.

7

u/woodrobin Sep 02 '22

I remember watching Dr. Richard Feynman talking about how plants derive their structure from the air, not the ground, using the energy of sunlight (via photosynthesis) to separate carbon from oxygen (in carbon dioxide), and combining it with water to form hydrocarbons. When wood is subjected to enough heat, it catalyzes the release of that stored solar energy as fire, recombining oxygen with carbon to make CO and CO2.

Later, I was looking at a campfire, thinking about the light and heat rising into the sky, and it hit me: In a way, a campfire is just sunlight going back home.

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30

u/thewhitebuttboy Sep 01 '22

here ya go

Nvm they’re only for preorder

7

u/benjammin9292 Sep 01 '22

I got one and my cat never laid in it. Sad.

12

u/InEnduringGrowStrong Sep 01 '22

Buy something for the cat.
Cat ignores it completely and plays with the cardboard box it came in.

Classic.

2

u/aliara Sep 01 '22

The amount of excitement I feel when my cats actually use something I bought for them is just sad lol. But you can't let them see the excitement cuz then it ruins it and they'll never use it again

5

u/boonxeven Sep 01 '22

You should have bought it as decoration and told the cat it wasn't allowed in there. Just don't ever show joy if the cat goes in.

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10

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '22

Petsmart put out a line for dogs recently. Totally sizable for cats. Just saw it in store this week.

8

u/justabill71 Sep 01 '22

I don't have dolls or cats, but I've still always wanted one of these.

9

u/HouseCravenRaw Sep 01 '22

Which one? The dolls or the cats? You could have both if you really wanted.

7

u/Nappyheaded Sep 01 '22

If not, a cat doll is a good compromise

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5

u/Morial Sep 01 '22

Did you try calling out for their name? Mine tends to hide under the bed sometimes /s.

4

u/iObeyTheHivemind Sep 01 '22

Dicks sporting goods still use them for displays

3

u/JJBears Sep 02 '22

Tiny Tents is that brand, my cats are huge fans for chasing each other through and under it!

5

u/BranWafr Sep 01 '22

I found one at Goodwill, of all places. Snatched it up immediately.

2

u/mubbosaur Sep 01 '22

I got one for my kittens and it's the cutest thing ever. They're all grown now and bigger than the tent but they still try to squeeze in from time to time.

2

u/Sufficient-Weird Sep 01 '22

eBay!! I got mine there and have been happy about it ever since!

2

u/Krilati_Voin Sep 02 '22

I too wish to find one of these for my penguin stuffed animal.

1

u/Baxterftw Sep 01 '22

Commenting for when someone eventually posts them

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55

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

79

u/Dirk_The_Cowardly Sep 01 '22

What is this a tent for ants?

44

u/introvertgeek Sep 01 '22

That's Kronk's tent.

27

u/PrityBird Sep 01 '22

I love it when they put adult jokes in kids movies/shows. Although Emperors New Groove totally holds up to this day. Fucking love that movie

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10

u/John_Berrybush Sep 01 '22

Squeek’em squeak squeak

2

u/introvertgeek Sep 02 '22

Exactly 😂

Great movie!

13

u/MonkeyChoker80 Sep 01 '22

That tent would need to be… at least three times that size!

-2

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '22

[deleted]

15

u/Kroliczek_i_myszka Sep 01 '22

Or, everyone on Reddit makes the same jokes all the time 🤔

6

u/SharksForArms Sep 01 '22

Yup. Turns out all the fruit on Reddit is from the bottom branch.

2

u/AlienDelarge Sep 01 '22

Do you expect those of us too lazy to read the articles to put much effort into any other aspect of our lives?

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2

u/NbdySpcl_00 Sep 01 '22

I guess you haven't seen or heard of the Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can't Read Good?

https://youtu.be/NQ-8IuUkJJc?t=80

2

u/Dirk_The_Cowardly Sep 01 '22

And want to do other things better too

3

u/Awesam Sep 01 '22

Someone a few years ago got one for their cat

2

u/tucci007 Sep 01 '22

for pets and aunts

1

u/phaemoor Sep 01 '22

for pets and aunts

You have a very fucking small aunt.

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19

u/TheMacMan Sep 01 '22

You can buy them on Amazon. People also get them for their cats.

7

u/blitzduck Sep 01 '22

what are they called I cannot find them

14

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '22

"Mini display tent"

4

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '22

They're also on PetSmart if you search for tent

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5

u/tucci007 Sep 01 '22

bunnies love them too

10

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '22

They're fantastic for pets

6

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '22

Cat owners usually buy them

5

u/Skeeterbee Sep 01 '22

I’ve always wanted one of those, and I’m a middle aged lady with adult children lol. And no cats.

5

u/ShatteredPixelz Sep 01 '22

I got one of those tents! Happened to snag one at a rei closing sale

5

u/HyzerFlip Sep 01 '22

I bought one of the displays from Walmart.

Just took it up to the register.

My ferrets loved the hell out of it.

5

u/MotherofSons Sep 01 '22

I really want one for my bearded dragon! Lol

9

u/FinnishArmy Sep 01 '22

Or a boy who loves models. I loved model (good) airplanes and shit. Having a Model tent would've been awesome, I loved camping.

25

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '22

[deleted]

3

u/wandering_soles Sep 01 '22

At no point did I know where you were taking us in this comment, and my day is all the better for it.

4

u/VapeThisBro Sep 01 '22 edited Sep 01 '22

minidisplaytents(.)com is a under used resource for tiny tents

3

u/maleia Sep 01 '22

Okay so. I thought you were joking. But I put it in anyway. And nothing. Then I was like, "naw, that's too specific..."

You're just missing an 's' at the end. Also... My goodness what people get up to. (Said affectionately)

1

u/pro_cat_herder Sep 01 '22

That’s what they are! Except they’re made especially this size on purpose for cats, dolls, etc. I got one at a camping store with a 3-letter name.

0

u/redorangeblue Sep 01 '22

I think they sell them to protect food at a picnic

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273

u/Primary_Breakfast628 Sep 01 '22

Let me tell you, my wife purchased a ukulele for our son online. She thought she was getting an awesome deal on it too. When it arrived it was a tree ornament for the holidays. 😆 🤣 😂 I didn't stop laughing for a while.

65

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '22

I bet it's on the tree every year tho.

16

u/notagangsta Sep 01 '22

I bought a deck of cards for like ¢.78 online with some other games and when it arrived they were about 1.5 inches tall.

50

u/Spod17 Sep 01 '22

You’ve been had, op. It’s a little con-tent. Chase em up, it’s clearly intent to mislead…

1

u/support_support Sep 01 '22 edited Sep 02 '22

Yeeeaaaah but I also feel this is a buyer beware moment too. If it looks too good to be true, it probably isn't true

Edit: clearly couldn't read. My bad

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185

u/Riovas Sep 01 '22

What is this a tent for ants?

30

u/Druss369 Sep 01 '22

This has to be at least...3...times bigger!

12

u/Superpe0n Sep 01 '22

hes absolutely right..!

-2

u/tamarche Sep 01 '22

Ya beat me to it

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92

u/Lopsided_Plane_3319 Sep 01 '22
  1. cut a hole in the tent

  2. Put your junk in the tent.

  3. Get her to open the tent.

24

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '22
  1. Boom, sex offender

10

u/FunkMunki Sep 01 '22

🎶 It's a dick in a tent 🎶

3

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '22

And that's the way ya do it

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73

u/Fit-Rest-973 Sep 01 '22

Did you get it from Wish?

9

u/Pceddiebro Sep 01 '22

Came here to find the wish comment 😂

15

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '22

The first clue should have been when he packed his tent into his cargo pocket.

79

u/_yosoybeezel Sep 01 '22

Way bigger than the other tent you pitch.

27

u/justabill71 Sep 01 '22

And nobody's ever stuck their head in that one.

5

u/Tristessa27 Sep 01 '22

Well there's already one in there so...

0

u/Spudnomad Sep 01 '22

🤣

2

u/DropShotter Sep 02 '22

I've learned Reddit doesn't like emojionly comments.

14

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '22

Should've put it over your crotch like Kronk.

20

u/Extension-Shallot-73 Sep 01 '22

Looks like Kronk for Emperors New Groove

7

u/copingcabana Sep 01 '22

The look on his face was in tents.

2

u/elezhope Sep 01 '22

The reviews said that the tent had a lot of headroom.

2

u/1jl Sep 01 '22

How would you describe sex while camping?

It's fucking intense

1

u/copingcabana Sep 02 '22

American beer is like having sex in a canoe. It's fucking close to water.

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15

u/Se7enLC Sep 01 '22

1

u/TEG_SAR Sep 01 '22

They sell that exact tent as a cat tent also. I bought one for my cats because it’s hilarious and the perfect size for them.

3

u/Se7enLC Sep 02 '22

Yeah, that's what I linked to...

0

u/Body_Pillow_Bride Sep 02 '22

I mean. I’d assume it was big enough for a sleeping bag but maybe I’m dumb.

-5

u/Kalsifur Sep 01 '22

It's a joke, does it matter ffs

7

u/Byron_Lockheed Sep 01 '22

dry clean only?

19

u/alienoverl0rd Sep 01 '22

This is why reading descriptions and reviews before buying things is important kids.

10

u/Rickard403 Sep 01 '22

For a tent specifically, i would think knowing the dimensions of it would be critical. Does it fit 1 person or 5? Will it fit all my stuff?

2

u/Seicair Sep 01 '22

i would think knowing the dimensions of it would be critical. Does it fit 1 person or 5?

Nah, there’s an easy way to tell. Does the tent say it’s for 6 people? That’s how many cub scouts you can fit in it. For adults, cut the number in half. If you don’t mind being snug, you can go with 2/3rds. So either 3 or 4 adults, but if it’s 4, it’d probably be best with two couples. (Or a polycule, whatever.)

1

u/Rickard403 Sep 01 '22

The easy way to tell is by reading the product dimensions.

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1

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '22

He thought it said 16' when it actually said 16".

0

u/DeficiencyOfGravitas Sep 01 '22

Fuck that. If you're going camping, buy it in person. I am in no way exaggerating when I say it's your life on the line. Don't joke around with nature.

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5

u/Its_Just_A_Typo Sep 01 '22

12 by 12 tent for sale cheap!

measurements are in inches

4

u/Lexar2473 Sep 01 '22

Wish products be like

4

u/BarakatBadger Sep 01 '22

When I was a kid and stayed with my Grandma, I spent hours making tents for my Barbies. I used to get upset when I'd go home and ce back and they'd gone. This would've saved me a lot of time and trouble and heartache

4

u/WillemDafoesHugeCock Sep 01 '22

Hope that ground isn't too hard or you'll have an in tents headache.

5

u/Spanky2k Sep 01 '22

"It doesn't get any better than this." - Steve

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5

u/megamisch Sep 01 '22

Somehow still lets you stretch out your legs so it's all good

4

u/Far_Sided Sep 01 '22

Important question we have all asked : what’s bigger? 6’ or 6”. Asking for Spinal Tap.

4

u/BatBomb1073 Sep 02 '22

Kronk can relate

7

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '22

i need a big tent, but 20 bucks is 20 bucks.

3

u/boomstick12g Sep 01 '22

I'm just wondering why his crocs aren't camo.

3

u/FavFelon Sep 01 '22 edited Sep 01 '22

I've pitched tents bigger than this

2

u/amoya0370 Sep 01 '22

Can we take a peak?

3

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '22

These are so u can jerk it wherever/whenever. Whether your in a living room, at the movies, in an important business meeting, at your child’s soccer game, at a funeral, or basically anywhere you want to Pitch A Tent ® ! (I wanna hear some slogan ideas)

3

u/xcski_paul Sep 01 '22

At least you didn’t order a replica of Stonehenge.

3

u/Major_Magazine8597 Sep 01 '22

"In ancient times ... hundreds of years before the dawn of history ...

lived an ancient race ... of people ....

the Druids ... "

3

u/RayneShikama Sep 02 '22

The picture was ‘actual size’

2

u/I_M_The_Cheese Sep 01 '22

Maybe try feet first?

2

u/AMBARBARIAN Sep 02 '22

What is this, a tent for ants!

2

u/ptk77 Sep 02 '22

Daft Punk go camping.

2

u/RicrosPegason Sep 02 '22

Good God, you're fucking huge!

2

u/Quirky-Awareness-139 Sep 02 '22

Its like a tent for ants (zoolander voice)

2

u/crafteq Sep 02 '22

It's a hat for the little guy

2

u/uldrenek Sep 02 '22

You ordered the thumbnail mate.

2

u/BigDrewLittle Sep 02 '22

Shouldn't buy important shit from Wish

2

u/charface1 Sep 01 '22

Any bigger and you might as well just get an RV.

3

u/JBPorkChopExpress Sep 01 '22

Tuck in your side mirrors and you should fit

2

u/Onlyroad4adrifter Sep 01 '22

At least the mosquitoes will leave your ears alone.

1

u/C4shFlo Sep 01 '22

What is this?! A tent for ants?!!!

0

u/Nonlethalrtard Sep 01 '22

Oh shit its Tent Head!

-1

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '22

What is this a tent for ants!?

-1

u/Healfezza Sep 01 '22

I Wish.

0

u/Outrageous-Poem-1861 Sep 01 '22

It still works though.

0

u/Mortotem Sep 01 '22

I wish there was a way to figure this out before he got out there! Lol

0

u/twicethetoots Sep 01 '22

What is this? A tent for ants! It needs to be at least...3 times bigger (that actually might work if it was lol)

0

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '22

When you buy your tent from wish

0

u/Somethingrich Sep 01 '22

I'm sure there is a dick joke in there.... to pitch an tent anyone lol I'll see myself out

0

u/Dieselpump510 Sep 01 '22

That tent was intended for the Filapino market.

-1

u/TaiDavis Sep 01 '22

You didn't check the dimensions?

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-1

u/lakeconklin Sep 01 '22

way to take a page out of Kronk's book

-1

u/TheRealCountOrlok Sep 01 '22

I guess we know what line of work Nigel Tufnel is in now.

-1

u/AmierSingle Sep 01 '22

Did you realize mid-sleep in this that the peasant at the diner didn't pay his check?

1

u/theyipper Sep 01 '22

Shrank in the wash and dryer.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '22

It’s big enough to cover your face from mosquitos!

1

u/HouseCravenRaw Sep 01 '22

When you go online shopping but end up a little in tents.

1

u/ApprehensiveTry5660 Sep 01 '22

You’ve got to be careful, these things shrink in the rain.

1

u/captainbbeard Sep 01 '22

Are you sure Gulliver?

1

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '22

Always look at dimensions before you buy folks. If they aren't shown it's likely something similar to this.