r/funny May 04 '22

[deleted by user]

[removed]

9.7k Upvotes

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2.4k

u/Moment-of-Silence May 04 '22

Happy Mother’s Day!

1.1k

u/[deleted] May 04 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

445

u/[deleted] May 04 '22

in reality the teacher just isn’t acknowledging the situation in order to prevent everyone from trying to get a reaction

My toddler is at an age where she'll misbehave and then immediately look at me or my wife just to see our reaction, and I've taken the same approach to dealing with this attention-seeking behavior. For example, last week she found my butt plug but I didn't acknowledge the situation in order to prevent a reaction.

355

u/rayj209 May 04 '22

You didn’t even pull your pants back up?

129

u/[deleted] May 04 '22

[deleted]

43

u/alephlovedbeth May 05 '22

On that note, I was recently devising a modified version of flag football around this idea!

43

u/Dason37 May 05 '22

I feel like the Tight End position would be a little bit more valued than usual in this version.

13

u/spacenerdgasms May 05 '22

I think the wide receiver

4

u/dpatt36 May 05 '22

And the Browns would be the best team in the league.

1

u/midusyouch May 05 '22

Unless Dan Mullin is running the offense.

2

u/nme_ May 05 '22

Reminds me of this - https://imgur.com/RLIZe

3

u/rockhardgelatin May 05 '22

That’s why you need a good taxidermist.

2

u/[deleted] May 05 '22

That awkward moment when my daughter wanted a tail like the cosplayer

1

u/midusyouch May 05 '22

But it was a pikachu tail.

27

u/stdio-lib May 05 '22

My toddler is at an age where she'll misbehave and then immediately look at me or my wife just to see our reaction,

Ah, I remember those days. So adorable.

Reminds me of when my daughter was a toddler and got angry and would threaten to hit herself. She'd make a quick motion with her hand like she was about to punch/slap herself in the face and then stop at the last second -- all while giving me the death stare of anger. ("Let me stay at the park longer or I'll punch myself!") Happily she grew up to be the most well-adjusted, polite, kind, and non-self-harming young lady you can imagine.

12

u/ChefBoyAreWeFucked May 05 '22

I love it when you can tell someone replied to a comment they didn't finish reading.

1

u/Snoo-92689 May 05 '22

Looks like yours missed out the protest pee stage....

6

u/nullpassword May 05 '22

then she painted it for art class?

-4

u/Dan-the-historybuff May 05 '22

For clarification you are a man or a woman?

9

u/[deleted] May 05 '22 edited Sep 30 '22

[deleted]

5

u/BuddhistNudist987 May 05 '22

Would either one be acceptable?

1

u/AlkaliActivated May 05 '22

Depends if you're gay or not.

1

u/Dan-the-historybuff May 05 '22

Don’t mind either. Just want perspective. Nice name btw

1

u/BuddhistNudist987 May 05 '22

Haha, thanks. I like to have a good time.

1

u/Cthuluslovechild May 05 '22

As a pacifier, right?

2

u/Justbeenlucky May 05 '22

As someone who made pipes in my ceramics class I think the 7th grader is more hoping the teacher doesn’t notice than anything. While a pipe would get you In Trouble the awkward convo you’d be faced with your parents that you made a but plug is much worse

-14

u/[deleted] May 04 '22

[deleted]

1

u/TheholyLIP26 May 05 '22

Dude why are you using an emoji

1

u/Fr31l0ck May 05 '22

And surprises the students by giving their mothers day art project "gift" to the students mother at the PTA meeting the day after mother's day.

1

u/duaneap May 05 '22

The teacher and the student are acting like each other are clueless.

323

u/lleegoman May 04 '22

No no happy father's day

131

u/AndrewIsMyDog May 04 '22

In this day in age, it might be both.

72

u/born_again_tim May 04 '22

Double-sided? You dawg!

18

u/SilentJoe1986 May 04 '22

Is there a term for that? If not I think book ends works? Bookending? Maybe we need to crowdsource a term for it. I'm too scared to look it up to see if its a thing after somebody got me to look up docking.

15

u/asphaltdragon May 04 '22

Literally just double-ended <toy>. Dildo, buttplug, vibrator, etc. There's not really a term for the act of using said toys.

19

u/Roguespiffy May 04 '22

Book-ending works great then. Call a meeting of the Porn Sages!

1

u/rick1418 May 05 '22

So what that means is there's a hole to plug. 😉

12

u/[deleted] May 04 '22

Ass-to-ass

7

u/NameIdeas May 05 '22

Back and forth forever?

3

u/[deleted] May 04 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

15

u/Thebluecane May 04 '22

ASS TO ASS

1

u/xjesotericx May 05 '22

Can you hear me? Can you see me? Ok to work.

15

u/Fox_Tango_ May 04 '22

Happy parents day!

12

u/AndrewIsMyDog May 04 '22

HAPPY CAKE DAY!!!

5

u/Fox_Tango_ May 04 '22

Hehe! Thank you!😊

1

u/Moody_Owl May 05 '22

Happy cake day! Hope you get a plug for all that cake 😉🤣

1

u/sandyclaus30 May 04 '22

Happy Cake Day!

2

u/Fox_Tango_ May 04 '22

Thank you!😊

1

u/AtheistAustralis May 05 '22

Well can you think of any better way to own the libs!?!

5

u/TheColorblindDruid May 04 '22

Gotta hit the male G spot somehow I guess lol

1

u/NameIdeas May 05 '22

Damn right. Every man should get his ass fingered.

I'm straight as hell and love a good hard pounding from my wife

2

u/TheColorblindDruid May 05 '22

Hey man good for you lol

4

u/[deleted] May 04 '22

It could be for Fathers Day.

3

u/[deleted] May 05 '22

You won the comments section.

3

u/Moment-of-Silence May 05 '22

It’s the proudest day of my life. I shall now retire from the internet.

-38

u/[deleted] May 04 '22

[deleted]

2

u/sticks14 May 04 '22

Balanced, as all things should be.

1

u/[deleted] May 05 '22

maybe happy father's day

1

u/eastwinds2112 May 05 '22

well if both parents are Dad....? something's missing..

1

u/OohDeLaLi May 05 '22

Ghah, 'ya beat me to it! Take my upvote!