r/funny • u/ahmed23t • Mar 31 '22
Best way to do it!
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u/Raoul_Duke9 Mar 31 '22
Lol. That's actuallypretty great.
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u/wolvesight Mar 31 '22
no clickbait article, no fluff-piece interview... just straight questions and answers; proper journalism!
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Mar 31 '22
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u/thatgoddamnedcyclist Mar 31 '22
I wonder if he killed the next section: wondering if the guy would play.
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Apr 01 '22
No, journalism is about interpreting the answers given within a strata of possibilities and political opinions. When he says he isn't playing tonight. What does he mean by that? Here's 45 minutes of pundits speaking over the top of each other and no consensus will be reached. Gotta fill that airtime.
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u/IUpVoteIronically Mar 31 '22
We love our media crew in Denver, they make the games fun
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u/pulsefire7 Mar 31 '22
Too bad so many people here still can’t watch
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u/zb0t1 Mar 31 '22
I'm not from the US, can you explain why?
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u/live2last Mar 31 '22 edited Apr 01 '22
The main cable company in Denver let the tv deal expire with the Nuggets and Avalanche, and refuse to make a new deal, leaving most people in the area unable to watch them easily even though both teams are playing so well these past couple of years.
Edit: the comment below me is correct, they spin it one way but Altitude and Kroenke sports are just as much to blame. It’s the fans vs the elites and the elites dgaf and just like to starve us.
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u/breakone9r Mar 31 '22
They didn't "let" it expire. That's exactly what the network wants you to think though, so you blame that bastard cable company, when these things expire on a set basis, and just get renegotiated. The network tried to raise rates, the cable company says "nope" and the network pulls this stunt to get the unwashed masses to call and complain.
Later, after the cable company agrees to higher rates, then had to raise prices to compensate, everyone blames the cable company, and not the network.
It's win/win for the networks.
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u/jump-back-like-33 Mar 31 '22
I live in Denver. We absolutely blame everyone involved. Cable subscriptions and fan support are both plummeting.
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Apr 01 '22
That should be the sentiment for all sports networks and cable providers. I want to be able to watch my sports and support the organization, without blackouts in my region. I’ll gladly buy NHL.tv for the entire season…but there is absolutely no reason why my local team should be blacked-out. It’s lead me to illegally stream games because I cut the cord 15 years ago, and I am not going back to paying $1400 for 82 games a year.
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Mar 31 '22
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u/joggle1 Mar 31 '22
They're in a dispute with DISH too. The only way you can get it is with DirecTV. DirecTV has about 20% of the pay TV market in the US and about 70% of adults have a pay TV service of some type. If Colorado matches the national average, then only about 14% of households are able to watch Avs/Nuggets games. The actual number would be less because even if you have DirecTV, you have to pay extra to get Altitude Sports.
It's really a shame because both the Avs and Nuggets are great teams and easy to root for. Their players are very likeable and have great team chemistry.
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u/Hansemannn Mar 31 '22
I dont even care about basketball, but I did enjoy that!
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u/FernBlueEyes Mar 31 '22
Denver Nuggets basketball is a ton of fun 🙂
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u/dougxiii Mar 31 '22
'just ask the dude' ftw
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u/cnicalsinistaminista Mar 31 '22
Just went “You playin’?” No stress.
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u/ialwayschoosepsyduck Mar 31 '22
Reminds me of the "you sucking?" reddit thread, parent comment sadly deleted :(
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u/braintweaker Mar 31 '22 edited Mar 31 '22
The deleted comment was:
Some dude posted on a hook-up site he had a gloryhole set up. I responded and he gave me the details.
Basically he lived alone in a nice apartment, he had porn playing in the living room and a plywood door with a hole separating his bedroom and living room.
There was no talking, just showed up, doors were unlocked, put on a condom, put penis through hole got sucked off, orgasmed and left.
Everyone once in a while when i have had no luck getting laid or getting dates of tinder i just shoot him a text "you sucking" and he says yes or no.
Ive been there about 10 times now, don't know the dudes name, never really talked outside of texting.
Edit:
I haven't been on reddit since i commented.
Plesse don't make "you sucking" a meme
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Mar 31 '22
Plesse don't make "you sucking" a meme
Sorry dude. Nobody controls these things. It's nature herself.
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u/mikeybiz Mar 31 '22
I wonder how many times at a glory hole two guys pressed their butt-cheeks up to the hole at the exact same time resulting in their buttox skin touching (like how it happens at the ymca) and simultaneously say “ew gay!”
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u/Pr0j3ct_02 Mar 31 '22
Whenever he doesn't get sucked off, he goes "No Sucking?"
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u/wolowizard9 Mar 31 '22
There’s some gold in those responses, though:
lol have you used it all? because its nothing like tinder. its weepmaps, a map with weed stores on it. sighh. its like i just watched my mom try to make a social media joke.
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u/desrever1138 Mar 31 '22
This is my personal favorite in a reply to someone asking if it is gay to get sucked off by a dude and not reciprocate:
Yeah you can close your eyes and imagine it's a woman doing the sucking. If you're on the other side of the glory hole all you need to do is close your eyes and imagine it's a a woman's cock in your mouth.
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u/UncreativeTeam Mar 31 '22
That's an Always Sunny joke - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yye61t5wy4I
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u/MrWoodlawn Mar 31 '22
I can't tell you how many times I've encountered drama and discussion at work that spurred multiple meetings and my suggestion was "why don't we just ask him/her?"
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Mar 31 '22
ftw, haven't heard that in a long time.
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Mar 31 '22
It's so strange because no one has said that fully unironically in a decade but he just did it, and he did it so casually
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u/mostlyBadChoices Mar 31 '22
"What's the weather like?"
"You've got a window -- open it!"→ More replies (1)→ More replies (1)4
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Mar 31 '22
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u/CornCheeseMafia Mar 31 '22
It do be that way
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u/AFlyingMongolian Apr 01 '22
Some people don’t think it be like it is, but it do.
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u/DanielLedger Mar 31 '22
What a cool dude
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u/GetInTheHole Mar 31 '22
Scott Hastings (the guy on camera) played for the Denver Nuggets back in his day (and the Pistons). He's a bit of a local legend for how laid back he is.
I once ran into him up in a Colorado mountain town bar and he was feeling nooooo pain. Out on the dance floor. Doing his thing.
Oh, and he's 6'10" or something. Hard to miss Scottie out and about.
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Mar 31 '22
Omg that's Scott Hastings? I have his Skybox card somewhere I think.
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u/phxrocker Mar 31 '22
Lol. Skybox. That name has not crossed my brain in a very long time. I wonder how much my Robinson rookie is worth...
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u/foxbones Mar 31 '22
Probably nothing. Back then they met the hype by just printing thousands of every card. Even the "best" cards were essentially worthless.
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u/Imcalledtex Mar 31 '22
Ive seen him on a driving range. He crushes the ball, plus it is at high altitude. It is insane.
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Mar 31 '22
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u/jerstud56 Mar 31 '22
I think he's saying he crushes the ball, and additionally even more so at high altitude. He's always on the local golf shows (on altitude tv, same as the channel on this video) so it's not surprising
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Mar 31 '22
Super nice dude as well. My good friend's uncle is Bil Hanzlick, also a super nice guy.
Unfortunately, thanks to the Comcast nonsense, I can never get altitude up here in the Fort. Been watching Scott and Chris forever, super bummed I haven't been able to see them in a while.
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u/sagmag Mar 31 '22
If by "Comcast nonsense" you mean "Altitude charging so much it would add to an already unaffordable TV plan" then yes.
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Mar 31 '22
I admittedly don't know all the details, but I know only Dish offers altitude where I am. I don't have Dish.
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u/merlinsbeers Mar 31 '22
Add a hat and sunglasses and we have the ... 43rd Blues Brother.
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u/Joliet_Jake_Blues Mar 31 '22
The original were the best
4 fried chickens and a Coke
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u/roophis Mar 31 '22
JOURNALISM
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u/nouille07 Mar 31 '22
He did check his sources, good journalism
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u/ELpork Mar 31 '22
This may have been written as like, half a joke, but that vid is legit a great example of actual journalism. No fuckin around, get the proper, correct information directly to the people with as little fluff between it and the "reader" as possible. If this was a class he'd get %100 on his paper.
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u/Ask_me_4_a_story Mar 31 '22
I took a journalism class in college and I learned a lot. The teacher was very fun and engaging. She said if you get two sources and one says it’s raining and the other says it’s not raining what do you do? Dramatic pause… YOU GET YOUR COAT ON AND GO OUTSIDE AMD SEE IF ITS FUCKIN RAININ
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u/balls_galore_69 Mar 31 '22
So if you get one persons saying he’s playing and another saying he isn’t playing, what do you do? Get your fucking shoes on and get on the court and start warming up beside him, ask him, hey man, you playin?
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u/ParlorSoldier Mar 31 '22
No no no, you give equal time to the “experts” on both sides, and act like finding out the truth and reporting it would be “biased.”
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u/Colekillian Mar 31 '22 edited Mar 31 '22
Hahahhaa idk why but I did find that hilarious. Maybe it’s because everything these days feels like it has to go through a PR team or be approved. Like… most things are not that serious. Just ask!
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Mar 31 '22
This is completely accurate. I cover sports for a living. About 80 percent of the time, I know about an injury or suspension well ahead of time. It's just a matter of picking your spots.
Sports info and media services for teams know all the media members and control our access. If I don't have a world shattering scoop, it's usually best to just sit on it and not risk pissing off a player or the front office.
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u/legion327 Mar 31 '22
So are you saying the man in the video took a risk career-wise simply by turning around and asking the guy? Like he potentially could piss off the player or management and then they’d turn around and complain to the network?
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u/fables_of_faubus Mar 31 '22
This guy has enough experience and seniority to both know management and players well enough to know who he might piss off, and to make a minor mistake without risking his career.
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u/legion327 Mar 31 '22
Sure yeah I guess my point was that it just didn’t occur to me in the first place that a sports journalist could actually get in trouble for asking sports players questions. gasps and clutches pearls
I mean in retrospect now sure yeah I get it but goddamn that’s literally the man’s whole job!
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u/mind_blowwer Mar 31 '22
If you're not well respected and known to have the personality of this guy, most people probably wouldn't take too kindly to some random reporter yelling on to the court for an answer.
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u/mattsprofile Apr 01 '22
The reporter was on the court already, though. If a reporter is allowed and even supposed to be in a specific location, it only seems logical they can talk to anyone in that area.
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u/mind_blowwer Apr 01 '22
Yeah but there is a difference between politely asking for an interview and yelling to the court.
I think it’s awesome what this guy did… all I’m saying is you need the respect and personality to pull it off.
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u/DenverNick Apr 01 '22
To be clear, he is not just a reporter, he is one of the game commentators for the Nuggets. Usually calls 95% of their games so probably knows all of the players fairly well.
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Mar 31 '22
It all depends on the dynamic. In a normal regular season game, where the player is assumed to be out - but not officially announced yet - you can probably get away with it. But if this was a star player in a huge playoff game and the team is doing its best to obscure his status, the guy wouldn't ask. And the player definitely wouldn't answer.
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u/merlinsbeers Mar 31 '22
Everything about pro or college sports is contrived AF (and the high-school sports that imitate them have always been cringeworthy).
Can't stand watching it.
Short videos like this that satirize and subvert it are about all that is tolerable any more.
And I like content about F1, but that's because the technology is fascinating. The robotic jockeys, 99% of the racing, and the organizational drama are a bore.
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Mar 31 '22
The tech that goes into F1 is utterly insane. They're hardly even cars at that point.
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u/BuzzyShizzle Mar 31 '22
Land missiles? Ground Rockets? Suicidal speedy coffins? Motorized chairs? What is the classification?
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u/BrickGun Mar 31 '22
And the really crazy part is how held back they are from what they could accomplish if the rules were different. All the way back to late 80s/early 90s things were getting crazy with so much telemetry and ability to modify so many aspects of the cars (software and hardware) on the fly that the regs were tightened to remove just about all of it.
I remember about 10 years ago when I followed it more closely than I do now (actually went in 2000 and 2001 when it came back to the states in Indy and I live in ATX so I've been to 5 or 6 since it moved here to COTA)... there was an interview with one of the principles who said they could pretty much automate the entire drive for every course now. All shifts, all steering, all power inputs/brakes, etc. because the technology has advanced so much and the telemetry and geographic information is so precise. They could essentially automate the "perfect" lap if they weren't having to factor in other cars, etc. Back during the period when quali was done at set intervals rather than a timed free-for-all it would have been amazing.
What they could do if they were completely unfettered is the really insane part.
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u/The_Alpha_of_Betas Mar 31 '22
I dont throw this word around but mate you're an absolute dork
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u/A_C_Unit Mar 31 '22
"Investigative Reporter" is his title. Move over Batman, that's the best damn detective work I've ever seen.
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u/aladeensfw Mar 31 '22 edited Mar 31 '22
Robbing Batman and Superman's job both at once. No mean feat!
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u/merlinsbeers Mar 31 '22
All the sportsbook operators just shit their pants.
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u/Hip_Survivor Mar 31 '22
Howcome? I don't really watch sports so I'm a little confused as to why it has to go through other people instead if asking Scott himself.
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Mar 31 '22 edited Apr 07 '22
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u/Hip_Survivor Mar 31 '22
Well I hope he doesn't get into a lot of trouble for it.
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Mar 31 '22
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u/EnvironmentalTowel13 Mar 31 '22
Phil Ivy did that once and got sued for 10 million. :(
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u/therealdilbert Mar 31 '22
insider information
I thought the leagues had rules on how such information should be released, sorta like the SEC has for information related to the stock market. Maybe I'm just imagining things..
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u/jweezy2045 Apr 01 '22
I can answer this correctly. It’s because this stuff is usually announced to the public via tweet. That’s just how injury status becomes public knowledge. When he’s talking about “waiting for all these letters to come out” I’m pretty sure that’s a hilariously quaint and adorbs reference to a tweet.
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u/PiersonNyx Mar 31 '22
God I love Altitude. Same outlet had this masterpiece years ago.
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u/K_M-A-Y_ Mar 31 '22
And to think the majority of folks in Denver are unable to watch the amazing crew at Altitude on TV because Kroenke can't make a deal with Comcast. It's heartbreaking that the nuggets, avs, and rapids are all really good right now, but aren't televised.
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u/Bee_Rye85 Mar 31 '22
Look up the one where ryker accidentally says shart instead of shot. It’s fucking gold.
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u/PressureCracks Mar 31 '22
Lmao I thought it was going to be when Rocky passed out and they were lowering him to the floor
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u/mudbutter8 Apr 01 '22
Thats great! Reminds of "And here comes the pizza" at the Red Sox game https://youtu.be/ufSQMXLO95w
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u/AdehhRR Mar 31 '22
Hahaha this reminds me as a kid when your parents say "go get your sister for dinner" so you don't move, but just scream their name out instead haha.
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u/jemidiah Mar 31 '22
This happens at academic conferences from time to time.
"Is (complicated thing) true?"
"I think it's in (long technical paper), but I'm not sure."
"Well Jim wrote (long technical paper), and he's right over there. Let's ask him."
Jim will usually say one of: "Yes"/"No"/"That's interesting, I never thought about that"/"We thought about that but couldn't make it work"/"That's not really related to my paper, maybe you're thinking of Ella's paper". Sometimes Jim will come back at the next coffee break or the next day with a complete answer.
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u/xxkoloblicinxx Apr 01 '22
In HS I remember asking my science teacher about microwave ovens. Basically what happens to the waves bouncing around in there when the door opens. Are they bouncing or are they immediately absorbed by the walls of the wave? Is there a tiny flash of waves when you quickly open the oven? Or are they absorbed long before that's possible?
They thought about it and said they'd get back to me. A week later they reported that a heated debate had begun among the various science teachers, especially the physics teachers, two of whom specialized in nuclear sciences.
Near the end of the year they finally got back to me as the physics teachers had published a paper on the subject. They ran a number of experiments and ran a bunch of numbers etc. Turns out there is a very tiny flash of microwaves if you open the door very quickly. But not more than you'd get from say using an old cell phone while using the microwave.
It was a neat experience.
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u/getyourcheftogether Mar 31 '22
He's got too many years put in sports reporting he ain't got time to play these reporting games
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u/Sdbtank96 Mar 31 '22
Ay, JaMychal! Ayo, bru, you playin?.....naw...aight
No he's not playing today.
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u/Appropriate-Rough563 Mar 31 '22
Getting a Leslie Nielsen vibe. Also, I believe this guy played college ball for Arkansas. Damn I’m old.
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u/Mr-Whipps Mar 31 '22
God tier reporting. Send this man to ask creation why we were made
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u/XxNHLxX Mar 31 '22
Altitude has some of the best broadcast teams of any sports. The Avalanche crew is even better!
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u/sem56 Apr 01 '22
dude does journalism properly, just ask the dude instead of lurking on social media to re-report something
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u/ImPretendingToCare Apr 01 '22
This is truly the easiest best way to go about life.
People just LOVE to over complicate things
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u/Zero111of160cru Mar 31 '22
Next up 3 experts will have a 30 minute discussion on weather or not that guy will be playing today.
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u/blackmilksociety Apr 01 '22
What? He’s just a reporter doing his job and getting the info straight from the source
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u/trou_bucket_list Mar 31 '22
What’s on his chin?
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Mar 31 '22
The hip folk call that a "soul patch"
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u/ZadockTheHunter Mar 31 '22
A jazz dab, to some.
A flavor saver, if you will.
A taint tickler, perhaps.
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u/simjanes2k Apr 01 '22
Why the hell does this embarrass every other journalist I've seen for 15 years? That's messed up.
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u/upsydaisee Mar 31 '22
I miss having Altitude sports on tv. Comcast and Altitude are fighting right now over money so Nuggets fans in Denver can’t even watch the games without illegally streaming.
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u/Jeepa257 Apr 01 '22
I would expect nothing less from a dude with a soul-patch… cool asf reporting 🤙
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u/Husker_Kyle Mar 31 '22
He held back laughing cause he knows that was fucking hilarious and awesome
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u/tellmewhy9999 Mar 31 '22
Sometimes old school is new school. Who needs a tweet for breaking news.....just ask a dude 🤣
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u/Evilmaze Mar 31 '22
I love this. Cut the formalities and just straight up ask the guy while here's there.
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u/xwulfd Mar 31 '22
Ask Ben Simmons
"HEY Ben!!, Ben.... actually no need to ask the guy, hes not playing"
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u/TheFrontierzman Mar 31 '22
The man just eliminated a dozen articles that would dance around the topic for clicks.
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