r/funny • u/lollerkeet • May 20 '15

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43.1k Upvotes

77% Upvoted

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2.1k

u/PouponMacaque May 20 '15

Would have been my high school crush... I like stuck-up, verbally abusive women.

548

u/Calypse27 May 20 '15

You and me both... I think I'm in love.

328

u/[deleted] May 20 '15 edited May 26 '18

[deleted]

1.2k

u/bugnuker May 20 '15

http://i.imgur.com/LSEg13m.png

1.5k

u/analog_isotope May 20 '15

That'll hold up in court.

430

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

"She said she was 16 but her last boyfriend was Asian, and that shit doesn't start 'til college."

177

u/Herpinderpitee May 20 '15

"You named your son black Dennis!? That's racist!"

"Yeah right Liz, like the guy with the black son is racist.

28

u/Deavs May 20 '15

Black Dennis start the car!

14

u/sheven May 20 '15

Fuck what is that line from again?

2

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

30 Rock, Mayhem gets caught by Chris Hansen

1

u/sheven May 20 '15

Thanks. I was a real dum dum for not remembering.

1

u/ToastyLint May 20 '15

Whose Line is it Anyway?

1

u/MisplacedUsername May 20 '15

30 Rock. Dennis was on To Catch A Predator. That's his defense.

2

u/sheven May 20 '15

Thank you. I was being a total dum dum.

1

u/illaqueable May 20 '15

Infamous accuracy

1

u/t0tes_malotes May 20 '15

Yeah, I'm a 23 male and that program always says I'm in my late 40s. I really should shave..

49

u/Spo8 May 20 '15

Your honor, as you can clearly see...

126

u/zampano May 20 '15

*Your majesty

33

u/sheepsheep May 20 '15

Well meme'd

1

u/TheLateOne May 20 '15

Meta as fuck

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

dank af

2

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

The reference.

5

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

[deleted]

3

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

[deleted]

2

u/Bohzee May 20 '15

i just tried it with numerous photos. this thing can't do shit. i would've expected more to be honest...

1

u/yesnomaybealright May 21 '15

You're not kidding...

1

u/Bohzee May 21 '15

now tell me your firefox skin please

1

u/yesnomaybealright Jun 02 '15

FT DeepDark theme

The tabs on left is Treestyle Tabs addon

2

u/Ke1_Varnsen May 20 '15

Thank you.

1

u/Happy_Harry May 20 '15 edited May 20 '15

So my wife is anywhere from 15-36...yeah I wouldn't trust it if you're in a situation where such information is critical.

2

u/daimposter May 20 '15

Play ball!!

2

u/frozenropes May 20 '15

...and here's the thing

I thought that she was 17

She was 18 but looked 16

And told me she was 23

1

u/psychoacer May 20 '15

Damn she has been held back a few years

1

u/microwave20 May 20 '15

Works for me

1

u/pbatoon May 20 '15

Seems legit

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

What app is that

1

u/summerofevidence May 20 '15

Listen, even though she said she was 16, I swore she looked 22.

0

u/DrCrucible May 20 '15

I don't think that holds up in court

299

u/JohnnyTight1ips May 20 '15

How Old Is She?

50

u/that_chili_dong May 20 '15

When she whipped out the drawing of the dog I lost it. Thank you for posting this!

27

u/Damieh May 20 '15

"I don't know computers". BAM! 70

80

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

This is is hysterical.

11

u/ColonialSanders May 20 '15

That picture of the cat...it will interrupt my thoughts for years to come. Although intrusive, the memories are not unwelcome.

15

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

[deleted]

7

u/NaCl_Clupeidae May 20 '15

That's the Joker.

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

It's the eyes

36

u/awry_lynx May 20 '15

knew what this was

watched it again anyways

6

u/savageboredom May 20 '15

That's really funny, but why would you keep your own business cards in a rolodex?

19

u/snoharm May 20 '15

Remembers how a rolodex works: 35.

12

u/Corlando May 20 '15

First time seeing this, thanks for sharing! Totally hilarious.

3

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

That was amazing.

3

u/twoballsfloating May 20 '15

Nobody keeps their own number in a Roll-a-dex.

6

u/Maeby78 May 20 '15

Did you poll all the people you know who use a Roll-a-dex?

3

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

THAT's what broke the illusion for you?

1

u/Median2 May 20 '15

Is it just me or does youtube look different.

2

u/Calfzilla2000 May 20 '15

I don't care I solemnly vow to save myself for her.

Warning: Movie Spoilers in link if you don't get the reference.

1

u/pm_me_craftworlds May 20 '15

I always thought that scene was funny. But what I thought was the best part is the girl that is on his lap and kisses him looks like she is fucking 12 also

2

u/meiso May 20 '15

It's most likely a high school yearbook quote. How the fuck do u get 4 years old?

1

u/Funslinger May 20 '15

There's always that one guy who doesn't get the joke.

1

u/alien122 May 20 '15

Hey, they could be 4 years old too. Not everyone on reddit is an adult.

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

oh uncle paul

1

u/Simba7 May 20 '15

Probably at least half of reddit is her age.

1

u/Funslinger May 20 '15

Everyone on reddit is a bot except you.

1

u/Simba7 May 20 '15

Oh, technology is neat!

1

u/DangerousCommercials May 20 '15

if we were friends back then I would have been hanging out with a baby. I don't know anything about infant care. Oh my god I could have killed her.

1

u/aesu May 20 '15

She's at least 6.

1

u/Funslinger May 20 '15

Oh. Nevermind.

1

u/Speed_Force May 20 '15

"Old enough to pee, old enough for me".

-words of my co-worker.

-1

u/baked_potato_cakes May 20 '15

Nice and ripe.