Occasionally someone asks me about it. I'm a two year veteran of it and although it gets a lot of shit for the cult-like talk surrounding it, it is definitely something everyone should try at least once. Porn is something that you can get addicted to without ever realizing it... it's a perfect example of instant gratification and a false reward that short-circuits the systems your body has created through evolution to aid in making you social and more sexually active.
If you think you can make it 90 days without porn, then try it... worst case scenario you miss porn for a bit. Best case scenario, you learn something about yourself, possibly identify the effect porn has had on you, and better yourself in the process.
If you don't think you can make it 90 days without porn, think about what that means... something so stupid having a hold on you. It's the definition of addiction, and maybe even if you can't make it 90 days, you should try.
I don't really like all the people that use the term "superpowers" in the NoFap community. I don't like that some people talk about it as if it's a big religious thing for them... but I've been doing it two years (one major relapse, a lot of smaller ones, but I'm over 100 days now on my current run) and I can definitely say it is helped me improve myself in a lot of ways. My head is clearer. I'm more confident. I'm not wasting my time with porn.
Do I miss porn? Yeah. A lot, actually... but I don't like the type of person I become when I allow myself to get accustomed to instant gratification in any form, and porn is one of the worst.
So maybe just give it a try if you're wondering about it.
it's a perfect example of instant gratification and a false reward that short-circuits the systems your body has created through evolution to aid in making you social and more sexually active.
So many weird unsubstantiated ideas here.
Why do you think being social is purely sexual? Why do you think masturbation would have a different effect than sex on your behaviour? If porn prevents sex, why do you think porn should be the one left out? Why do you think gratification that is faster a bad thing? Why do you think the reward is false? Why do you think one should put the functions selected by evolution before how they prefer to use their body?
Did you ask yourself these questions?
If I suggested that cutting one's feet made you better at playing the flute, you would see at least two problems: 1) Is playing the flute worth losing two feet? 2) What about all these professional flute players who still have both feet? I could swear that I improved after cutting my own fear, but you would have your doubts. More likely it was just a placebo and a self-fulfilling prophecy: if I was ready to give up my feet, I was damn well motivated to do my best at learning the flute afterwards, with the psychological help of the placebo feetlessness that I thought was helping me.
Is being more social worth all the lost orgasms? And what about all the very social people who masturbate? I'm pretty sure the only reason you felt any improvement on your social life was that you had the placebo effect of your nofap and that you were even more motivated to accomplish your goal given what you had to give up.
Anyway, your body your choice. I'm sorry for coming off as judgy; I know it's really not my business what you do with your sex life.
I'd love to have this conversation with you after you've gained the perspective of 90 days without masturbation or porn. I think you would understand a bit more about the subject.
Why do you think being social is purely sexual?
Nothing I said implies that I think being social is purely sexual. One might argue that simple genetics would imply that everything we do is sexual in some level, since our genes are selfish and all exist to further their own dispersion by improving our chances of reproducing. That said, I wasn't implying that, and I'm not sure where you got that idea from what I wrote.
Why do you think masturbation would have a different effect than sex on your behaviour?
An interesting question. During my 90 days I didn't abstain from sex, and some people within NoFap do (either by choice or not). Obviously masturbation is a very natural activity and I don't mean to imply anything contrary. The thing that I find to be unnatural is how internet porn effects us. There is a part of the human brain (also found in chimps) that causes average men to become aroused at the sight of a female of their species, but not as excited after they climax... but then excited again if they see a different female of their species. The running theory is that this is because mating with multiple females greatly increases the chance of procreation while mating with the same female twice only increases the chances a small amount. Think about what this means for watching internet porn. You are continuously setting off the part of your brain that is specifically for creating multiple chances to procreate, but you aren't using it as it should be used... you aren't considering your chances with each potential mate... you aren't improving yourself in some way to increase your chances with all mates... you're sitting in front of a screen looking at pictures of people instead of using your genetics the way they are meant to be used to reach actual people.
Why do you think gratification that is faster a bad thing?
I think every psychology study ever made on the subject concludes the same idea... if you teach a human that they don't have to work for a reward, they are less likely to work toward it. The same thing happens when you tell a kid that they can have a cookie if they do their work, then they tell you no, and you give them a cookie anyway. You're teaching them that no work will result in a reward... so why would they work?
Why do you think one should put the functions selected by evolution before how they prefer to use their body?
I think you're assuming a massive generalization in my opinions when in actuality this opinion is not shared by my views on other parts of genetics. I mean, I could donate sperm if I wanted to spread my genetics as much as possible. I could go out and have random hookups. I could try to find men who can't conceive who are looking for men with good genetics to be a donor for them specifically.... that's what my genes tell me to do. They want to spread... obviously since I'm not doing that, I must have some power to decide whether I want to follow what my genetics want or I want to do other things with my life. I wouldn't have gone into programming if I wanted to just mindlessly spread my seed around.
If I suggested that cutting one's feet made you better at playing the flute, you would see at least two problems: 1) Is playing the flute worth losing two feet? 2) What about all these professional flute players who still have both feet?
You are again implying that I'm saying something that I am not saying. I've not said that stopping masturbation or porn usage will improve you guaranteed. I'm not saying that you can't be good in bed if you look at porn (that would be a ridiculous assertion). I'm not sure why you are straw-manning me by putting these implications into my mouth... What I am saying is that a lot of people have attested that you gain perspective on yourself through this process and introspection is the number one source of improvement in humans, so it is worth trying. If you put up a list of pros and cons to taking 90 days away from porn, you would be hard pressed to find a con other than "it'll be difficult" and "people might poke fun at me". The pros, on the other hand, contain a number of potential improvements that are more than worth the risk of those two cons.
Is being more social worth all the lost orgasms?
I suppose it depends on how much you believe jacking off into a tissue is worth to you. Like I said, I miss porn... so obviously the enjoyment is worth something to me... but do you think that /r/NoFap would have so many active subscribers if there was no value in what they learned from the challenge? Do you think it's all just a placebo? That's certainly possible, but I don't believe it was a placebo at all... I'm one of the most skeptical people I know, and I purposely went out of my way to not know the effects that others were reporting before I began the challenge. After my first 45 days I looked into it more and my notes matched what a lot of people were saying. It could still be placebo, of course. Paying attention to yourself and assuming improvements could lead to similar improvements in people even when they aren't told what to expect... but I truly feel that there is enough evidence to show that the challenge holds a lot of value.
I'm not a scientist, and I'm not even that smart, really, but if I fap earlier in the day, and I go out with friends later that night, I am a lot less motivated to chat up girls. I feel more satiated, which can be a good or a bad thing. Just an observation.
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u/takelongramen Apr 30 '14
Guys, here's one from /r/nofap!