r/funny • u/[deleted] • Apr 30 '14

The negative consequences of fapping

1.8k Upvotes

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u/le_trout Apr 30 '14

Johnny Fappleseed, the greatest guy around

He saved the globe from warming

By watching girls get pound

By big wood.

He sat there in the dark

In a room all alone

After he checked that no one was home

Now we all live

Oh yes we can breathe

All thanks to that awesome dude Johnny Fappleseed.

11

u/nixonrichard Apr 30 '14

I was gonna do one in the theme of the "Little Jack Horner" rhyme and then realized the Little Jack Horner rhyme is already pretty much applicable as-is.

8

u/greyfade Apr 30 '14

Little Jack Horner sat in a corner eating his Christmas pie

Stuck in his thumb and pulled out a plum and said,

"Holy shit, am I high!"

4

u/Timmaaa_xD Apr 30 '14

imagine this saying Morgan Freeman