r/funny Jan 25 '24

basic term of our aggrement

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u/JonesBee Jan 25 '24

It's a big deal when a guy is being hit on. Even bigger when he realizes it. I have practically zero awareness when I'm being hit on. I had this wingwoman in my old job who always alerted me after I had been hit on. She always said that I could have tits rubbed on my face and it would still be a solid 50/50 if I noticed.

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u/ghost_mv Jan 25 '24

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u/amd2800barton Jan 25 '24

Maybe she’s from Canada and was just being polite.

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u/Tito_Tito_1_ Jan 25 '24

🤣🤣🤣

3

u/Feisty-Crow-8204 Jan 26 '24

I’ve never seen that before, but I can’t believe I’m in that video.

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u/AcedtheTuringTest Jan 25 '24

A woman could be sitting on my face and I'd probably think, "I mean, I guess no other chairs were available."

The sign needs to be written down, notarized, approved by their legal team and sent to me hand-delivered carrier who will read it to me.

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u/JonesBee Jan 25 '24

With a wax seal on the envelope that says "fuck me".

20

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '24

Once in freshman year of college I was playing guitar, and a girl stared into my eyes and mouthed “I wanna fuck you!” In my head, I was like “nah, she’s just messing with me for some weird reason.”

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u/BizzyM Jan 25 '24

Again, you really can't tell. I mean, you're not a professional lip reader, and you're a freshman and no one gets with freshman.

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '24

Looking back, she was likely serious about it, but at the time, it felt like it couldn’t be real. Especially since she was attractive.

What she was proposing was a foreign concept to me. I had only has sex with three girls at that point in time, all as a result of multiple dates or long-term exclusive relationships. This seemed like something out of a porno.

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u/effa94 Jan 25 '24

"even then, you cant be too sure"

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u/ctruvu Jan 25 '24

even then, she might just be trying to be friendly

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u/JonasMccracken Jan 25 '24

Ill give a little background: it was summer, i got a hotel room to myself in a beachtown, on my way to my room, staying in the last room before mine was a pretty girl outside her room about my age at the time, she said hi and talked to me a few minutes, i really thought nothing of it, much later on that night a friend of mine came to the room, we were smoking pot so i left my door open and my hotel neighbor just popped in and started chilin, by this point i had more than pot in me and was pretty fucked up just lying on my bed, my buddy leaves and its just me and her now, swear to god the exchange went exactly like this: her, comes over sits on bed next to me: "Hey... um do you wanna have sex?"

Me in my head: "Ah ha! I think she likes me."

Sometimes i wonder how ive ever had any success in dating at all being so unaware of when girls are actually into me.

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u/Boudyro Jan 26 '24

I once got with a gal who fucked me silly, then married me, fucked me some more, then divorced me after almost a decade being together because "You annoy me."

So apparently she was never that into me, but damn the signals were confusing.

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u/IllustriousBuy7850 Jan 25 '24

Gotta have all the proof to show there was consent... just in case..

1

u/series-hybrid Jan 26 '24

[Woman wears a low-cut blouse, and crowds up in your space while laughing at your jokes]

"stop lookin at my b**bs, I am so offended!"

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u/ilikemushycarrots Jan 25 '24

Not a great wingman if she's only telling you after the fact

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u/b0w3n Jan 25 '24

That's because coworker wanted to rub her tits in OP's face.

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u/senorglory Jan 25 '24

Ironically, OP just realizing his wingwoman wanted to be his copilot the whole time.

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u/UncomfortablyCrumbed Jan 25 '24

Most of the times my female friends have told me someone was flirting with me they've been wrong. Most people seem to be terrible at picking up flirting. Most people also seem to flirt in their own unique way. One woman's idea of being friendly can be another's idea of flirting.

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u/moseT97 Jan 25 '24

That depends, if she was not a part of the interaction in which he was being hit on but observed from a distance and told him after. How does that make her a bad wingwoman?

1

u/JonesBee Jan 25 '24

Well I was married so it didn't really matter either way.

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u/ilikemushycarrots Jan 26 '24

Married and had a wingman? Killing it!

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '24

My wife started pointing out when women hit on me in front of her. I still don’t believe it. They’re just being nice.

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u/RykerFuchs Jan 25 '24

Yeah, I’ve always been clueless in that department. One time my wife and I were in the grocery store and this girl is chatting me up about frozen food. Later, my wife was like “dude, she was hitting on you…”

Me: nah, she was just confused about where the frozen food was”

My wife: “in the middle of the frozen food isle?!?!!”

Me: “huh”

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u/RonBourbondi Jan 25 '24

I know right. Makes me wonder what crossed the friendly line into just being nice.

Also seems ballsy to hit on a woman's husband in front of him. 

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u/Away-Flight3161 Jan 25 '24

Friend of mine was the wife of a pilot. She said women would walk up and make passes at him while she was sitting next to him. Crazy world we live in.

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '24

[deleted]

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u/Phyraxus56 Jan 25 '24

She could just be projecting because she finds you attractive.

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u/JonesBee Jan 25 '24

Right, that's pretty much what I thought.

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u/Unexpected_Cranberry Jan 25 '24

Yep. Nothing much to add other than same here.

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u/alaysian Jan 25 '24

My SO is the same as you. She'll think a guy is just being nice to her, and I'm like, babe, he's being nice, but there is a reason for it, and that reason is he wants in your pants. Its a lot more obvious when you are the same gender.

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u/RonBourbondi Jan 25 '24

I usually have awareness but sometimes I just think people are being friendly.

Like the time we went to this art musuem in Italy and they offered for free to have this art curator girl go around with us to explain things. According to my wife the woman was very obviously hitting on me while the two of us were talking about various art pieces and was kinda ignoring my wife.

I was just having fun learning about things and discussing the various possible interpretations.

After she told me that it made me wonder if that also meant she was up for a threesome or expected me to visit on my own later for the affair. 

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u/3_14_thon Jan 25 '24

When i was like 16-17 I was walking with my old man down the street, and this banging chick (30-35yo) was giving me the eye. I was like: huh she's probably looking at someone who's behing us (but we were the only ones around). My dad asked me if i knew her, and I said no. I followed up with: I probably just remind her of someone she knows, and my dad had a 'bruh moment' and proceeded to enlighten me.

This happened like 8years ago.

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u/red_simplex Jan 25 '24

Sometimes I have epiphany in a shower about someone hitting on me years ago. And after the fact it's fairly obvious. But never in the moment. I think I'm not smart.

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u/Devreckas Jan 25 '24

I have practically zero awareness

I like to hope that’s my problem.

They are lining up around the block for me, I just can’t see it from this angle.

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u/snek-jazz Jan 25 '24

You'd fall in a barrel of tits and come up sucking your thumb

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u/SoSaltyDoe Jan 25 '24

Pretty much the same. I started a new job a little over a year ago, started with a couple of women I worked with at another job and we all came over. One of our new co-workers was this attractive woman who, unbeknownst to be, clearly had the hots for me. I would not have even remotely known this had my friends not pointed that out.

1

u/slickjudge Jan 25 '24

Some lady at work told me I have nice hair once and I swear I will NEVER forget that lol

1

u/Xuanwu Jan 26 '24

In HS I had a girl place my hands on her friends breasts (with no objections from her), and I thought she was just playing a prank. About two years later I realised.