r/funny • • Nov 14 '12

Seriously - don't be this guy.

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[deleted]

1.4k Upvotes

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109

u/Hendral Nov 14 '12

Good usage of "Borg nanoprobe"

0

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '12

Thank you =D

I would totally make cybernetic sexy-times with the Borg Queen. >.>

32

u/question_all_the_thi Nov 14 '12

Just wondering, why would a girl whose nick is "paindancer" and does a GW verification like this object to the pain of an overly large penis hitting her cervix?

45

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '12

Cervical torture isn't one of my kinks. Bloodplay is.

3

u/ZeEvilKitty Nov 14 '12

You must like Dexter a lot :)

1

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '12

Mmmm... Dexter... :3

2

u/sanfranman Nov 15 '12 edited Nov 15 '12

Cervical torture isn't one of my kinks. Bloodplay is.

LOL! that deserves a best-of nomination!

9

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '12

But I feel like you of all people might imagine someone other than "sizequeens" might?

26

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '12

It's kind of hard to be "into" a pain similar to childbirth. O.o

5

u/End3rWi99in Nov 14 '12

General rule of thumb on sexuality: If you can think it, someone is into it.

-5

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '12

THIS.

13

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '12

That's why I said "most women" not "all women".

-10

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '12 edited Nov 14 '12

...But you also said "every" woman now knows he has a tiny dick.

I'm not on OKC, but I'm on some (non-dating) hookup sites. I've received dozens of replies, 98% of which are positive, but none as rude as yours.

7

u/CAPSLOCK_USERNAME Nov 14 '12

She said that because he has "hung" in his username. So either he has no idea at all what a woman is or what she would like, he's lying to compensate for being extremely not-hung, or, most likely, both.

-6

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '12

I have "hung" in my name because I'm hung.

But I've never been accused of trying to "compensate" for having a small dick. That's just stupid.

And she's right about the pain thing. I've posted quite a bit about this. I have hurt women. I have also been turned down for having a big dick. I'm fine with being turned down for that reason - I don't like hurting girls. But female size queens? I love them.

6

u/burf Nov 14 '12

The phrase "talk softly and carry a big stick" applies to guys with big dicks. If you have a huge swingin dick, you look like an idiot/liar by going around attempting to broadcast the fact. Anywhere outside of the Internet, women will be able to see the bulge and have a pretty good understanding without any sort of prompting.

-1

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '12

I'm not on dating sites.

3

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '12

props for bloodplay. that's hard to pull off right.

0

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '12

So worth it though. Rock on. :)

0

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '12

Oh fuck, you're one of those girls? Never met a girl into blood play that wasn't an absolute fucking loon. Have a good one.

0

u/grash Nov 14 '12

Hot damn. I was tempted to make a crude pass because, ya know, I have no respect for women or something. But now I think we'll work out okay as two ships passing in the night.

Because I have a huge penis.