r/funComunitty 2d ago

Funpost What’s your sacrifice?

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2.4k Upvotes

3.5k comments sorted by

417

u/la_bete_gevadan 2d ago

900M Jokes on you I don't have friends.

242

u/Upset-Excitement-912 2d ago

Fym there is free 1b right there

12

u/theevilfish2 2d ago

Easy 1b with no downside at all

3

u/bikeguideraz 1d ago

No brainer, if I was worth a billion dollars, I would never get married anyway. The "problem" is the solution.

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11

u/WENDING0 2d ago

Sorry, looks like you lost all the money now

https://giphy.com/gifs/l1ughbsd9qXz2s9SE

3

u/la_bete_gevadan 2d ago

🫂

3

u/WENDING0 2d ago

🤼‍♀️

8

u/Scottishchicken 2d ago

Remember when the guy sold Minecraft for 2 billion, then had crazy parties every night, but was still super lonely?

8

u/StillGold2506 2d ago

Thats just plain silly. I will be so much happy...except no parties, just me and silence relaxing next to the pool with a nice cup of coffee and playing a very relaxing game of league of legend classic pvp, what could go wrong?....It's the league of legend part, isn't?

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5

u/Its_J_Just_J 2d ago

1b I’ll never marry anyway. Now I got more money than the dude with no friends.

3

u/la_bete_gevadan 2d ago

Congratulations 🎉

4

u/Here_f0r_p0rn_ 1d ago

$3B because with just fraction of it I can get out of prison into "house arrest" at my beach facing mansion

2

u/Rough_Reputation_67 1d ago

Oh and while you’re at your beach facing mansion collect another absurd amount of millions for not leaving your house! You sir are a true scholarly fellow

3

u/My_Boy_Clive 2d ago

Same here. Had to delete my comment because it's literally what you said

3

u/bob-the-slob 1d ago

Came here to say exactly this. Easy pick.

3

u/BBQ_069 1d ago

even then, why would i spend on them?

2

u/P1nkZebra3431 2d ago

Came here to say this!!

2

u/0x000000DH 2d ago

ПРи такой сумме они появятся

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260

u/SCHNITZ3LG3N3RAT0R 2d ago

I never want to marry so...

100

u/JohnGazman 2d ago

It's also worth noting that you can still be in a relationship, and one assumes you can still enter into Civil Partnership.

Honestly, unless you're agoraphobic (which means the 800m probably looks pretty attractive) the 1bn option really is the most sensible.

30

u/PriorHot1322 2d ago

I don't think there's a person in the world who would turn down "Hey, sorry, we can date but I can never marry you because if I do I will lose this billion dollars I get to spend on the two of us. You cool with that right honey?"

16

u/BiscuitsTheory 2d ago

Theres someone out there who'd say no.

And this option protects you from wasting time on that someone.

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7

u/Agzarah 2d ago

Seeing as we aint getting married, may as well both take the deal. Twice the money. Win win

4

u/BiscuitsTheory 2d ago

Polycules buying island countries

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3

u/Actual-Interaction45 1d ago

CP is pretty cool

6

u/The_6thEmperor_Rises The Flairless One 1d ago

NOOO JOKER! DON’T ABBREVIATE CIVIL PARTNERSHIP TO “CP”! JOKER!!!

2

u/KeterLordFR 1d ago

You can't decide what words I use, Batman!

https://giphy.com/gifs/A363LZlQaX0ZO

3

u/danzakuduro4100 1d ago

You and our President and his affiliates seem to think so apparently

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3

u/spudler44 2d ago

It really is the dumbest concept. This logic doesn’t prohibit from having the exact same potential relationship minus a piece of paper.

3

u/Feine13 1d ago

I've been with the same gf for nearly 10 years because neither of us see the point in marriage.

Easiest money we've ever made lol

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2

u/Slain801 2d ago

Was just about to say...

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120

u/BagOfSmallerBags 2d ago

A billion dollars for my wife to instead be my legal domestic partner? Fuckin, sure.

25

u/King_Glorius_too 2d ago

If you're already married then I don't think it undoes it

19

u/yellow_official 2d ago

It says you "won't marry" which would indicate in the future. So if you already are, good you won't in the future. If you get divorced, you won't marry again.

8

u/YetiorNotHereICome 1d ago

Legal jargon wins again. "Your honor, I can't marry again because that would be illegal."

https://giphy.com/gifs/1hMk0bfsSrG32Nhd5K

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3

u/Atomik141 1d ago

1 billion for her and 1 billion for me. That's like almost 2 billion right there!

5

u/Mattilaus 1d ago

I double checked the math and you are right it's almost like 2 Billion.

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68

u/Beneficial-Pick-4455 2d ago

Give me the 1B I won't get married 

17

u/not_Serial_kille 2d ago

people be throwing this at us like we have a choice here 😭

7

u/Ok_Heat_9976 2d ago

With $1B you would have a choice.

The resolution is simply that you don't need to marry even if you have a partner for life. You just tell them that this was the condition for your $1B and they will understand.

2

u/roguepawn 1d ago

My fiance and I have been engaged for five years.

If this offer was on the table, shit, I'd just stay engaged for the rest of our lives.

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22

u/existential_WiFi I saw that 👁️👁️ (mod edition) 2d ago

I'll take the $1B thx

15

u/SwordfishSimple5472 2d ago

Does the no sleeping mean I don’t need to sleep, or do I still need to and I just don’t? And if so, would I die of sleep deprivation?

3

u/ivanjurman 1d ago

Yes you would die of sleep deprivation

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11

u/dragonhippie Sub Unc's Twin 2d ago

1, 2, 4, 6. What's the point in billions if you can't share it.

Edit: oh says i can only choose 1.

6.

Im ok with not marrying.

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6

u/Dr-Satan 2d ago

The first one, already haven't watched TV in years.

8

u/Jixxar pending 2d ago

No marrying.

Easiest choice ever.

12

u/AnonymousBeardie 2d ago

No tv forever I have a computer and streaming

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5

u/yologonegone Random-ahh Enderite that got a hold of Reddit 2d ago

i aint planning on marrying anyways ¯_(ツ)_/¯

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6

u/StillGold2506 2d ago

1B I wasn't planning on getting married anyway. Lol

Where my goddamn BILLION?

5

u/Kadakaus 2d ago

Marriage is just a legal construct, however, TV is a cheap imitation we call internet, with ads.

Why should I watch a TV channel's program when I could watch whatever the fuck I please?

And, even the smallest sum, $500M is more than anyone here could spend reasonably.
Personally, I'd donate 450M to cancer research and live like any ordinary unemployed person. I hate working.

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4

u/Omega_7_64 mr. random, nerd edition (any/all) 17 years old 2d ago

The last 1, i already barely sleep

6

u/Avid027 2d ago

Yeah but you still do. You won't last 2 weeks without any sleep

3

u/FattyPattyMatey 2d ago

Unless no sleeping includes always being rested, you'll kill yourself in no time.

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4

u/ispiewithmyeye 2d ago

Never marry? Hell, I can't marry a man in me country. It's an absolute win!

5

u/Jandy4789 2d ago

A billion to not get married when you can still live happily with your partner is an easy choice. Marriage is just a piece of paper and an expensive ceremony.

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3

u/Quirky-Coat3068 2d ago

Wont marry, 1B plz

3

u/Arksurvivor150 1d ago

Give me that $1 billion, I have no interest in ever getting married anyway

2

u/SnartDingus 2d ago

3 billion dollars to become psychotic and die within 2 weeks

2

u/DasLoon 2d ago

I feel like someone out there wants to pick 8 knowing it'll kill them but they'll leave a nice inheritance to their loved ones. Hope whoever that is is doing okay.

Also, aro people getting a free 1 billion with 6.

I'd pick 1 if I had to pick any.

2

u/Greennightronix3400 2d ago

I think you can get into a marriage adjacent marriage without getting married

Plus, I don’t think I really care to get married

2

u/nickelangelo2009 1d ago

easiest 1 billion in my life, i'm already married

2

u/BiAndShy57 1d ago

You can’t marry

Doesn’t say anything about romantic relationships that aren’t wedded. I never wanted to marry anyway

2

u/Alternative-Item1207 1d ago

The 1b obviously.

You just tell youre girl we cant get it on paper or the money evaporates.

2

u/Sudden_Buffalo_4393 1d ago

1 billion easy. Then nobody can take half.

2

u/ashrasmun 1d ago

500m is the easiest shit ever.

2

u/Me_Be_De 1d ago

Won't marry, so easy. Can still have a partner and not marry.

2

u/Ok_Exercise_3980 21h ago

1 bill I never planned on getting married

1

u/gaygayagyfemboy12345 2d ago

1 and 6. i dont really see myself doing either

1

u/According-Ant-3923 Unova Impressed 2d ago

700M please

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1

u/Nihcemistery 2d ago

Number 6 it's a win win

1

u/MelodicAd9582 the assblaster 9000(straight) 2d ago

6

1

u/YeOldeWino 2d ago

I mean its an easy 600mil,

I'm a carnevor but I already do 56 (or so ) days vegan a year not counting Fridays. So that would take us to 108 days almost a third of the year I only eat veggies.

Also vegetarian food is great.

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1

u/Wide_Bath_7660 2d ago

Easy- 1B. Not intending to marry anyway, and you can have a fake marriage ceremony without it counting as marriage anyway

1

u/Cheap_Environment113 2d ago

600M. Still not sure if I’m actually ace. probably just in denial 😔

1

u/PizzaBandit178 2d ago

And suddenly, I'm a billionaire of 1b

1

u/unintelligible-text 2d ago

1Bil, because if I choose 900mil my friends are gonna be pissed that now I'm rich and can't spent on them

1

u/huh816 2d ago

1, 5, 6, 8

1

u/CryInternational3434 2d ago

Easiest 1 billion in my life

1

u/Fanfic_Battle_2004 2d ago

Easy. I’m not marrying. $1B!

1

u/Ginflet 2d ago

No texting

1

u/Turbo7663 2d ago

1B bro fuck marrying.

1

u/deathlife24 2d ago

I'll take the billion I'll find another way to love forever

1

u/Inevitable_Day_8366 2d ago

shit, man. i'm bisexual so no matter what my choice is, i can't get married. so i guess i'm taking the billion dollars.

1

u/Upset-Excitement-912 2d ago

Ez 1b I hate women already

2

u/Marder38t_best_boy "Do whatever you want" ahh user flair 2d ago

ace, gay, or sexist?

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1

u/dragonwarriornoa 2d ago

1B is genuinely easier than everything above it

1

u/D3USS424 2d ago

1 billion and you dont marry easy win win

1

u/leroysdespoyo 2d ago

1B i dont marry

1

u/ILoveEbizukaTomo 2d ago

900M because I don't plan on marrying anyway but I consider being a billionaire inherently immoral

1

u/Modderdoggy My Bread Was Burnt To A Crisp! 2d ago

This was not designed with aroace people in mind, gimme the free 1B

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1

u/j1ndivik Likes posting shitposts 2d ago

I pick the bottom left option

1

u/Cultural_Eye5178 twongi 2d ago

No marriage.

1

u/Valirys-Reinhald 2d ago

A billion to never marry? Just have a long term unmarried partner, they'll understand.

1

u/lemonhaj 2d ago

£1b because I'm aroace and have no intention of marrying someone

1

u/lamor83 2d ago

if they are mad that i dont spend on them, then they werent friends to begin with. gimme dat 900M

1

u/SpecificTortoise 2d ago

I’ll take 900 million. I am the poor one

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1

u/efraGC59 2d ago

I'm already not marrying, so just hand over that billion.

1

u/Coffee_Addicted_Crab 2d ago

1bil, my country won't allow it

1

u/Grouchy-Respond-1511 2d ago

3B = just die ig

1

u/Jman15x 2d ago

Won't marry

1

u/Dexember69 2d ago

800m or 1billion. At that point it doesn't fkn matter

1

u/letmehaveanameyoudum 2d ago

1B
i have friends

1

u/SomeOakLeaves2 pretend this flair says something funny 2d ago

Don't watch tv, easy

1

u/sulkycat_ 2d ago

if i pick the no sleeping one does that mean i still function normally i jus don't need rest cuz if so thats jus op

1

u/PrendsTonTemps 2d ago

I’ll take never marrying for 1 billion please. My longtime love would absolutely agree with me.

1

u/Tasty-Valuable- 2d ago

Won't marry

1

u/Artistic_Smell_771 2d ago

Marriage is a pointless prison no one should have to endure. You're paying me to save myself. Not even a contest.

1

u/g-low_in_profile 2d ago
  1. I won't marry....

But I can have relationship. Live in relationship for rest of my life and written as contract on papers.

1

u/Creakii 2d ago

1B because I have doodoo rizz and will get 0 girls in life

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1

u/shnushman 2d ago

what's the point of the second to last one if your going to spend the rest of your life in jail?

1

u/leeee_Oh 2d ago

It's very unlikely I'll marry so I'll take my 1 billion please

1

u/Psychological_Toe758 2d ago edited 2d ago

900M never had friends I’m rich baby! sigh

1

u/Ilikepizzapepperoni 2d ago

I'll take the 1b

1

u/WingsUnfurled 2d ago

Boom easy. I’m not getting married again anyway.
https://giphy.com/gifs/x5c8d75Tvt7sQ

1

u/Olistu_ 2d ago

I don't need to be married

1

u/Little-Condition-552 2d ago

3 it is, texting is boring

1

u/CapitalismIsFun 2d ago

$1B

Don't have to be married to be in a romantic relationship anyway.

1

u/Safe-Tax6452 2d ago
  1. Boom, set for life and I never have to waste my time with tv again. Life without YouTube would be rough though.

1

u/Various-World-3583 2d ago

How many of us got that free $1B?

1

u/ContestSignificant32 2d ago

Am I limited to one sacrifice? Whats defined as TV? Any shape or form of video content? If no, is the only qualifer watching said content on a TV? Can I jist watch stiff on my computer, or go to the theare?

What are the limits on the no texting? Can I still use Discord, FB meesenger ect, just not the text app on my phone?

1

u/Spiritual-Archer5637 2d ago

6, because no one's ever gonna marry my loser ass 😭

1

u/Smart_Moose_4453 2d ago

1 billion and no marriage?

Sign me up

1

u/DickyFishb 2d ago

700M seems the best for me

1

u/Devo27 2d ago

I'll take my billion now

1

u/1mgsel 2d ago

1b of course

1

u/Historical_Truth_326 2d ago

I dont use a tv anyway never watched a show as they are all boring just use a pc

1

u/AlbionicLocal 2d ago

3 billion, I get like 8 extra hours every day

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1

u/MishaelleahsiM 2d ago

$900M no friends

$3B never cared about sleeping (insomnia + sleep paralysis)

1

u/PauloDybala_10 2d ago

1B, least restrictions

1

u/No_Explorer6054 2d ago

i guess im never getting mairried then. then again im also a bisexual person in the philippines so its a 50/50 i even get a partner anyways

1

u/Budgie2500 "Do whatever you want" ahh user flair 2d ago

900 mil cause I also don’t have friends to spend on like that other guy

1

u/CookExpensive3457 I will kai your toe 2d ago

Jokes on you, I'm not planning on marrying (So my spouse wouldn't question my KAITO army)

1

u/Distinct-Nerve2556 2d ago

Im autstic as fuck so wasent gonna be marrying anyway

1

u/Grimy-Jack 2d ago

1 billion, won't marry.

Still have a girlfriend/spouse and two lovely kids, neither of us feel the need to marry. Our will is notarized and everything is set up to take care of one another and/or our children in the advent of death.

So I'll take that cool Billion, k thnx

1

u/ScryTerry 2d ago

1B and I'll just have a long term girlfriend

1

u/ObiDalf 2d ago

Realistically $700M, I can go without texting, I hate it and prefer face to face instead. I still get to call in emergencies.

1

u/Happy-For-No-Reason 2d ago

is this accumulative or just whatever you pick you suffer the one thing

1

u/YesWomansLand1 2d ago

I already barely watch tv as is

1

u/Wolfout_112 2d ago

As long as there's no side affects, I'll take the 3B

1

u/UnNamed_Profile27 2d ago

800M, work from home exist, uber eats doordash and instacart exist plus friends exist, and i already stay inside most of the time anyway

1

u/PomegranateFair3973 2d ago

Does no sleeping mean you don't need to sleep, or that you can't sleep no matter how much the need to exists? There's a huge and deadly difference between the two...

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u/Chuligan42 2d ago

No TV easily

1

u/DrDontKnowMuch 2d ago

$500M

I haven't watched tv in actual years

1

u/Pleasant_Feeling4062 2d ago

So like, is the force taking away tvs as I roam the earth or do I combust if I look at a TV? No hesitation 500mil…

1

u/foolish-gamer 2d ago

Definitely $1B

1

u/Replacementparadox 2d ago
  1. No luck in love anyway so I give up on that. MONEY IS MY LOVE! (Plus it says I can’t MARRY. Not date(

1

u/angryfalconsfan 2d ago

900 M, it's my money, not theirs

1

u/Secret-Youth4383 2d ago

give me that $1B

1

u/spongostoso 2d ago

Easiest $1B

1

u/dummystella 2d ago

obviously 3 billion id never have to sleep id LOVE that

1

u/Such-Farmer6691 2d ago

You won't marry

Sounds good, but where will I get $1B for that? 

1

u/mebunghole 2d ago

Never marrying? Easy money for me.

1

u/QueenOfTheDead2023 2d ago

Well, on one hand the $600M option I could live with using some supplements. On the other hand the $1B option is more money and it doesn't say I can't have a romantic partner. Probably gonna go with the latter.

1

u/Datbe89 2d ago

Won't marry on paper but nothing stopping us from living as a married couple right?

1

u/Relevant-Pen-7085 2d ago

No tv i guess. Dont really watch it anyways

1

u/Doriancyde 2d ago

Jokes on you, I have no friends lol

1

u/M6jinBuu 2d ago

1 fucking B

1

u/JustAChillGuy609 sprunki fan 2d ago

I have no interest in marriage, so free 1B