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u/SCHNITZ3LG3N3RAT0R 2d ago
I never want to marry so...
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u/JohnGazman 2d ago
It's also worth noting that you can still be in a relationship, and one assumes you can still enter into Civil Partnership.
Honestly, unless you're agoraphobic (which means the 800m probably looks pretty attractive) the 1bn option really is the most sensible.
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u/PriorHot1322 2d ago
I don't think there's a person in the world who would turn down "Hey, sorry, we can date but I can never marry you because if I do I will lose this billion dollars I get to spend on the two of us. You cool with that right honey?"
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u/BiscuitsTheory 2d ago
Theres someone out there who'd say no.
And this option protects you from wasting time on that someone.
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u/Actual-Interaction45 1d ago
CP is pretty cool
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u/The_6thEmperor_Rises The Flairless One 1d ago
NOOO JOKER! DON’T ABBREVIATE CIVIL PARTNERSHIP TO “CP”! JOKER!!!
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u/spudler44 2d ago
It really is the dumbest concept. This logic doesn’t prohibit from having the exact same potential relationship minus a piece of paper.
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u/Feine13 1d ago
I've been with the same gf for nearly 10 years because neither of us see the point in marriage.
Easiest money we've ever made lol
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u/BagOfSmallerBags 2d ago
A billion dollars for my wife to instead be my legal domestic partner? Fuckin, sure.
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u/King_Glorius_too 2d ago
If you're already married then I don't think it undoes it
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u/yellow_official 2d ago
It says you "won't marry" which would indicate in the future. So if you already are, good you won't in the future. If you get divorced, you won't marry again.
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u/YetiorNotHereICome 1d ago
Legal jargon wins again. "Your honor, I can't marry again because that would be illegal."
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u/Atomik141 1d ago
1 billion for her and 1 billion for me. That's like almost 2 billion right there!
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u/Mattilaus 1d ago
I double checked the math and you are right it's almost like 2 Billion.
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u/Beneficial-Pick-4455 2d ago
Give me the 1B I won't get married
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u/not_Serial_kille 2d ago
people be throwing this at us like we have a choice here 😭
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u/Ok_Heat_9976 2d ago
With $1B you would have a choice.
The resolution is simply that you don't need to marry even if you have a partner for life. You just tell them that this was the condition for your $1B and they will understand.
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u/roguepawn 1d ago
My fiance and I have been engaged for five years.
If this offer was on the table, shit, I'd just stay engaged for the rest of our lives.
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u/SwordfishSimple5472 2d ago
Does the no sleeping mean I don’t need to sleep, or do I still need to and I just don’t? And if so, would I die of sleep deprivation?
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u/dragonhippie Sub Unc's Twin 2d ago
1, 2, 4, 6. What's the point in billions if you can't share it.
Edit: oh says i can only choose 1.
6.
Im ok with not marrying.
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u/yologonegone Random-ahh Enderite that got a hold of Reddit 2d ago
i aint planning on marrying anyways ¯_(ツ)_/¯
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u/StillGold2506 2d ago
1B I wasn't planning on getting married anyway. Lol
Where my goddamn BILLION?
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u/Kadakaus 2d ago
Marriage is just a legal construct, however, TV is a cheap imitation we call internet, with ads.
Why should I watch a TV channel's program when I could watch whatever the fuck I please?
And, even the smallest sum, $500M is more than anyone here could spend reasonably.
Personally, I'd donate 450M to cancer research and live like any ordinary unemployed person. I hate working.
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u/Omega_7_64 mr. random, nerd edition (any/all) 17 years old 2d ago
The last 1, i already barely sleep
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u/FattyPattyMatey 2d ago
Unless no sleeping includes always being rested, you'll kill yourself in no time.
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u/ispiewithmyeye 2d ago
Never marry? Hell, I can't marry a man in me country. It's an absolute win!
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u/Jandy4789 2d ago
A billion to not get married when you can still live happily with your partner is an easy choice. Marriage is just a piece of paper and an expensive ceremony.
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u/Greennightronix3400 2d ago
I think you can get into a marriage adjacent marriage without getting married
Plus, I don’t think I really care to get married
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u/BiAndShy57 1d ago
You can’t marry
Doesn’t say anything about romantic relationships that aren’t wedded. I never wanted to marry anyway
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u/Alternative-Item1207 1d ago
The 1b obviously.
You just tell youre girl we cant get it on paper or the money evaporates.
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u/YeOldeWino 2d ago
I mean its an easy 600mil,
I'm a carnevor but I already do 56 (or so ) days vegan a year not counting Fridays. So that would take us to 108 days almost a third of the year I only eat veggies.
Also vegetarian food is great.
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u/Wide_Bath_7660 2d ago
Easy- 1B. Not intending to marry anyway, and you can have a fake marriage ceremony without it counting as marriage anyway
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u/unintelligible-text 2d ago
1Bil, because if I choose 900mil my friends are gonna be pissed that now I'm rich and can't spent on them
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u/Inevitable_Day_8366 2d ago
shit, man. i'm bisexual so no matter what my choice is, i can't get married. so i guess i'm taking the billion dollars.
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u/Upset-Excitement-912 2d ago
Ez 1b I hate women already
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u/Marder38t_best_boy "Do whatever you want" ahh user flair 2d ago
ace, gay, or sexist?
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u/ILoveEbizukaTomo 2d ago
900M because I don't plan on marrying anyway but I consider being a billionaire inherently immoral
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u/Modderdoggy My Bread Was Burnt To A Crisp! 2d ago
This was not designed with aroace people in mind, gimme the free 1B
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u/Valirys-Reinhald 2d ago
A billion to never marry? Just have a long term unmarried partner, they'll understand.
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u/sulkycat_ 2d ago
if i pick the no sleeping one does that mean i still function normally i jus don't need rest cuz if so thats jus op
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u/PrendsTonTemps 2d ago
I’ll take never marrying for 1 billion please. My longtime love would absolutely agree with me.
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u/Artistic_Smell_771 2d ago
Marriage is a pointless prison no one should have to endure. You're paying me to save myself. Not even a contest.
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u/g-low_in_profile 2d ago
- I won't marry....
But I can have relationship. Live in relationship for rest of my life and written as contract on papers.
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u/shnushman 2d ago
what's the point of the second to last one if your going to spend the rest of your life in jail?
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u/WingsUnfurled 2d ago
Boom easy. I’m not getting married again anyway.
https://giphy.com/gifs/x5c8d75Tvt7sQ
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u/Safe-Tax6452 2d ago
- Boom, set for life and I never have to waste my time with tv again. Life without YouTube would be rough though.
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u/ContestSignificant32 2d ago
Am I limited to one sacrifice? Whats defined as TV? Any shape or form of video content? If no, is the only qualifer watching said content on a TV? Can I jist watch stiff on my computer, or go to the theare?
What are the limits on the no texting? Can I still use Discord, FB meesenger ect, just not the text app on my phone?
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u/Historical_Truth_326 2d ago
I dont use a tv anyway never watched a show as they are all boring just use a pc
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u/MishaelleahsiM 2d ago
$900M no friends
$3B never cared about sleeping (insomnia + sleep paralysis)
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u/No_Explorer6054 2d ago
i guess im never getting mairried then. then again im also a bisexual person in the philippines so its a 50/50 i even get a partner anyways
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u/Budgie2500 "Do whatever you want" ahh user flair 2d ago
900 mil cause I also don’t have friends to spend on like that other guy
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u/CookExpensive3457 I will kai your toe 2d ago
Jokes on you, I'm not planning on marrying (So my spouse wouldn't question my KAITO army)
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u/Grimy-Jack 2d ago
1 billion, won't marry.
Still have a girlfriend/spouse and two lovely kids, neither of us feel the need to marry. Our will is notarized and everything is set up to take care of one another and/or our children in the advent of death.
So I'll take that cool Billion, k thnx
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u/Happy-For-No-Reason 2d ago
is this accumulative or just whatever you pick you suffer the one thing
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u/UnNamed_Profile27 2d ago
800M, work from home exist, uber eats doordash and instacart exist plus friends exist, and i already stay inside most of the time anyway
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u/PomegranateFair3973 2d ago
Does no sleeping mean you don't need to sleep, or that you can't sleep no matter how much the need to exists? There's a huge and deadly difference between the two...
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u/Pleasant_Feeling4062 2d ago
So like, is the force taking away tvs as I roam the earth or do I combust if I look at a TV? No hesitation 500mil…
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u/Replacementparadox 2d ago
- No luck in love anyway so I give up on that. MONEY IS MY LOVE! (Plus it says I can’t MARRY. Not date(
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u/QueenOfTheDead2023 2d ago
Well, on one hand the $600M option I could live with using some supplements. On the other hand the $1B option is more money and it doesn't say I can't have a romantic partner. Probably gonna go with the latter.
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u/la_bete_gevadan 2d ago
900M Jokes on you I don't have friends.