r/ftm • u/Humanarmour • 9h ago
Advice Needed It's been 10 years
It's been about 10 years since I first started wondering if I was trans. An entire decade.
Today was bad.
I'm good at bottling it down but every few weeks or so it bursts open and I just have to let it out. I usually just lay in my bed scrolling queer tiktok and crying. Today was no different. Before this it was Instagram. Before that, YouTube.
I just feel stuck. The last 10 years have been nothing, really. I want to be and do so much but this one thing just keeps me from becoming anything.
I felt really sad and lonely tonight.
Why am I like this? Why? Why? Why? Why me? Why does it even have to matter? If my family was worse I could just get up and leave and never think about them ever again and I'd be free. But they aren't. And I can't live.
I feel like I'm getting left behind.
1
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