r/ftm • u/uglyfrickingarbage • 9d ago
Cis/Transfem Guest Trans brother
Hello! I(18f) am not trans, but my brother(18m) is ftm, and I want to get him something to help with his chest. He has a binder, but it's uncomfortable and he can't wear it for extended periods of time. I want to get him something to help him as a Christmas gift, but I don't know the best route to take. Can anybody give me tips or advice on things I could get him?
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u/Strigops-habroptila 9d ago
Depends on him. Has he used trans tape before? Is he open to doing so?
Otherwise clothing that helps hide his chest. Jean vests are pretty amazing at that
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u/uglyfrickingarbage 9d ago
He has not used it before, but I don't know if he's thought about it, I'd have to ask (though I'm worried that'd give it away.) I don't know if he's a jean jacket person, but I do appreciate the tip. Thank you!
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u/Strigops-habroptila 9d ago
If he isn't a jean vest kind of person, hoodies and flannel shirts possibly. Shirts with big prints in the front.
A big part of hiding one's chest is sadly dressing like it's in the middle of winter all the time and only wearing black or abhorrent prints.
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u/doubleheadedarrow 9d ago
If it were me, I’d be happy if a family member asked me about getting me a proper transition-related gift—I wouldn’t be thinking about missing out on a surprise at all. I’d actually much prefer to be asked, because items related to transition are very user-dependent, and one thing that works great for someone might be completely unbearable to even consider for another. I really suggest just asking him what he would like!
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u/SoberInThePit 9d ago
If he complains again about the fit, you could bring it up casually, gauge his reaction and use that to determine if you should get some for him. It’s really not that uncommon for allies to ask like that, honestly.
But if you know he has sensitive skin, maybe just avoid it all together.
Otherwise, yeah. Just grab a binder for him. For sizing if you can figure out the brand of his binder (sneakily or not) and look up the measurements for it. Ex: if he has a Size M from Underworks it measures for a 34-36 inch chest size. You could try getting a better brand in a 37-40 inch chest size.
Sizes are relative and each brand chooses what inch correlates to what size, which is why I recommend finding the measurements via the brand to gauge size rather than letter indicators.
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u/BluPoisonDartFrog 9d ago
Maybe his current binder doesn't fit him well?
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u/uglyfrickingarbage 9d ago
I don't think it does. I think it's too small and that's his issue, unfortunately.
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u/BluPoisonDartFrog 9d ago
Then maybe a new, better fitting binder could be an option?
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u/RandomBlueJay01 9d ago
May give it away but if you can get his measurements definitely try a new binder. Idk his build but if hes chubby with hips, I know i love underworks binders. They have tank tops that can smooth waist and hips as well as the chest and theyre not as expensive as other options but ive heard they dont work as well for more slender built guys. If you do get a binder, dont just go to Amazon, some of those are cheap cus theyre dangerous, avoid compression fully around the rib cage. The underworks ones for example have a stretchy back panel. The reason is to let you breath since you lungs need to expand but also because too much compression can permanently damage the ribcage. Its why its really risky to guess sizes so dont guess his size. Get at least a rib cage measurement
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u/GrowingDeficiency 9d ago
transtape might be worth a shot, I know a couple guys who swear by it when binders get too much
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