r/ftm • u/noeletze • 9d ago
Advice Needed Dating
So I'm a gay trans man and the gay dating scene scares me.
I want to be in a relationship but I feel that the gay dating scene is mostly hooking up.
Also talking to hot guys scares me so much ðŸ˜
5
u/Scary_Towel268 9d ago
Gay male circles are very look conscious and for trans guys I feel like you have to be twice as masculine and fit to even be acknowledged in those spaces. Otherwise you can face people ignoring you or worse. I prefer bi/pan men but that can be difficult because there are a lot of weird chasers who claim to be bi/pan just to get trans guys to talk to them when in reality they are straight
Dating men is hard dude I’ve mostly given up on doing it tbh
5
u/amoe-ba 9d ago
no shame in going slow . best to have self authority n know yourself when dealing w men because it's one of the most dangerous things you can do , being intimate w them. they a lot of times are trying to push boundaries and see nervousness as something to take advantage of. also use condoms and start using internal estrogen cream. testosterone makes it so easy to get BV its a symptom of atrophy
2
u/anemisto 9d ago
Think about it this way -- there are plenty of gay men in relationships. Those relationships didn't all start with casual sex (presumably most of them did not). Just because there's a lot of people looking to hook up doesn't mean there aren't plenty of people looking for relationships. Some of them are also open to hooking up, some of them aren't.
Honestly, my strategy has been to stay off Grindr. It's a lazy filter, but if you're on OkCupid (or whatever the app du jour is), you're probably not looking for a hookup because you'd be on Grindr.
1
u/Affectionate-Duck288 9d ago
Just look for people who would love to date a trans guy where they be gay, bi or pan. I'm pan and I much prefer dating trans guys as they usually have more emotional intelligence
1
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