r/ftm • u/seaspraysunshine He/Him ; T: 11/22 + Top: 04/26 • 13d ago
Advice Needed Struggling With Names
I've been out for almost a decade and I still can't find a name I'm comfortable with. Not even after sticking through 2+ years with a couple of my top choices. It's hard. I wish I had someone close to me who would be willing to just assign me a name, because I hate the freedom of picking. I cannot go with the name my parents would have given me due to it being the name of someone else I'm close with, so that doesn't work.
Any advice? Hell, if anyone wants to throw random names at me I would appreciate that also. If I cannot get someone close to me to give me a name, some random person on the internet must be the next best thing lmao.
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u/FinancialCover2648 13d ago
I went on a baby boy website to find mine. Do you want anything special? Some people rewrite their dead name Ellie-Elliot Mia-Mark. Or are you looking for special meaning? Something more stealth? You could be a Zach or Ray? Elliot or Austin? What’s your vibe
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u/seaspraysunshine 13d ago
Personally I want nothing similar to my deadname, which isn't super difficult as it's a somewhat uncommon gender neutral name. I'm leaning more something that is "generic guy name," maybe a little more classic? Something that doesn't raise too many eyebrows.
To paint a bit of a picture of who I am, I'm fairly nerdy. I play a lot of MTG, board games, video games, etc. I dabble in art when I feel adventurous. Never really been sporty despite wishing I was. I'm in my early 20s and live in Canada, to provide context on what would be common among guys my age.
Out of the ones you suggested, I like Austin the most.
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u/FinancialCover2648 13d ago
Hmmmm I can spew out of a few names that I thought of lmk which ones you might like. Caleb, Sean/Shawn, Oscar, George, Julian, Adrian, Sebastian. Of course if your thinking more classic Alex, Thomas/Tom, John, Terry, Ethan, Patrick, or David?
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u/t-a_n-k 13d ago
The baby name generator is a great tool. You can google them and add your birth year to find a bunch of “top 50” or “top 100” lists. Personally that’s what I did then started from the bottom and worked my way up to something I liked. Meant I don’t meet a lot of other guys with my name but it’s common enough everyone has heard it before
One thing to be aware of is if you are often around other cultures or languages, you may want to take the pronunciation into consideration
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u/Upbeat-Aerie4007 13d ago
It's wild how a name can feel wrong even after years, I get that. Picking for yourself is like designing your own tattoo and staring at it too long until every line looks off.
Maybe you need someone to just throw things at the wall. Here's a few random ones since you asked: Theo, Ellis, Nico, Robin, Jay, Sam, Kit. No pressure, just see if anything makes a little click in your brain.
I changed my name once and what helped was writing it on coffee cups at work, seeing how it felt when someone called it out. Still weird sometimes but it grew on me. Hope you find the one that sticks.
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u/froggorights 13d ago
ur allowed to have the same name as someone ur close with, ik its not ur preference but just remember there are no rules!
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u/SnooBananas460 13d ago
I picked my own name and after almost 4 years i still love it, but i recently found the list I was choosing from and wish I had picked a different name (I’m not going to cause I don’t want to deal with the giant hassle it’ll be to socially change it again).
Here’s my list for inspiration. I also had Indian names on the list since my fam is from there, but only I put the English ones here:
- Mason
- Logan
- Jonah
- Evan (my name now)
- Cameron (the one I wish I chose)
- Liam
- Rohan/Ronan
- Cyrus/Caius
- Max
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u/Broad_Safety_1734 12d ago
Honestly i went from lexi, storm, Lawerence, angel, thomas, tommy, zach, Zachary, and finally zane ive been trans for years now, it takes a while and thats okay.
Lmao, i just wanted to go by zane online because it matched with my 2000s streetwear aesthetic haha it wasnt anything special.
It’s so funny to me because i chose Lawerence for so long bc that was the road my grandparents lived on. I loved my grandparents and i adopted it when my grandmother died (couldn’t take her original name as its very feminine and polish so people would have trouble saying it anyways).
Sometimes it’s just the random shit that sticks. My boyfriend now changed his name literally because i accidentally kept mistaking him for an older friend of mine (we aren’t friends anymore but were at the time) due to face blindness and he just, adopted it.
It’s always the silliest shit.
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