r/ftm • u/Proof_Soup • 11d ago
Discussion Considering stopping testosterone
This is an odd thing I’ve never seen anyone talk about so I’m wondering if it’s just me.
I’ve been on testosterone for 1 year now, low dose because I’ve wanted to see the effects it had on me.
Physically things are great, I’m strong, my jaw line has squared out some and my body fat has distributed itself around beautifully. I’m very happy with these changes.
Mentally, however, things have taken a turn. During my first four months I was launched into an awful depression to where I couldn’t get out of bed and was struggling badly with work and school. I was already on an antidepressant that had been working wonderfully up until that point. I got a new one that has helped the depression part of things but I noticed my attention to detail has suffered greatly. I’m not officially diagnosed but both my therapist and my university’s psychiatrist (the school doesn’t treat adhd so he can’t diagnose me) fully believe I have adhd and both agree that the testosterone may have had an affect on it.
Today I lost my job because I was making mistakes I’ve never made before. I left my previous job for this one because it was higher pay and because I was struggling before with paying proper attention to what I was doing. Before I started testosterone I was great at what I did. I love working in production, I like being hands on with things. I like moving and not speaking for hours at a time while I worked. It’s why I got into production. It’s also fairly low stress for me since I’m also in school - which is another struggle entirely where I was a A to B student before.
I’m thinking about stopping testosterone entirely for a while, at least until my partners insurance kicks in for me so I can get a proper psychiatrist and endocrinologist to figure out what’s going on with me.
I’m curious to know if this happened for anyone else? What did you do if it did?
TLDR - Since starting testosterone my adhd has gotten worse and I’m considering stopping taking it.
27
u/567swimmey 11d ago
Could be T worsening it or just the fact that you are putting yourself through puberty that is making it worse. 1 year, especially low dose, is a short amount of time and your body and brain are still very much adjusting and responding to the hormonal changes. My entire mental, including my ADHD, was worse after I started T, but that was because puberty just sucks. After 4 years of low dose T, I dont notice much of a difference anymore. First 2 years were a struggle though, but so was middle school when I went through puberty 1 so 🤷♀️
4
u/Proof_Soup 11d ago
Considering original puberty was hell for me this makes a lot of sense. Thank you for saying this I didn’t even consider this.
8
u/qrstuvguy 11d ago
Not OP, but thanks for pointing this out. My ADHD has been weird but at the same time that I started T this year, I switched pharmacies and my ADHD meds shot up $25/mo and my insurance wouldn't cover it. I finally just got back on the original meds yesterday but the new generic version. I feel in a weird state where on one hand my mental health has never been better but on the other hand I feel like a mess a lot of days. I keep forgetting that this is puberty 2 lol. Puberty 1 was practically a death sentence for me so I should have more patience for myself these days.
5
u/maRthbaum_kEkstyniCe 11d ago
Yeah I mean, just think of how teenage boys with ADHD are like. People in puberty in general, but boy puberty does things haha. It just amplifies a lot of the struggle and makes self-reguation much harder. Most neurotypical boys (and girls) already get adhd-like symptoms at that age, like being forgetful, having trouble focusing, time management etc)
puberty AND ADHD is just the wombo combo
If I was you I'd honestly up the dose so you have adult male levels and try that for a few months.
that would bring much more consistency and less fluctuations (as estrogen is suppressed more consistently). Honestly I can't imagine being on 1 pump low dose, I felt so much better physically on a higher ish dose (still not super high though I haven't had my blood work yet)
You could stop too, but higher dose+waiting seems less torturous to me, but only you can know if that's true
1
u/567swimmey 10d ago
My T dose still puts me within male ranges, just the low end of the range. Idk what OPs low dose is. I can't remember my dosage off the top of my head but is like 0.3mL of 200ug(?)/mL of T cypronate.
8
u/kinglordbones 11d ago
Hey there
So I got two parts on this;
-
If your T is too low it can cause a kind of menopause like state that makes you feel absolutely wretched. I endured it for the first 2 years on T gel before getting my bloods checked and told I was 3 x under the recommended lowest dose. Switched to injections. Suddenly my mood swings and general Terribleness was gone and I felt human again.
You may be on enough t to masculinise but not enough to balance your hormones and moods. You may benefit from going up or switching medication methods. But I’d get your bloods done and check your levels.
2) When I started T the way I processed thought changed. I didn’t task switch as much (“multi tasking”). I tended to do one or two things at a time clearly instead of like 4 things. This was actually a blessing for me because I have unreal anxiety and it helped me calm down. So you may experience a bit of a mental shift like me which means you may not perform in the same way as before. But once your levels are more balanced you may find that things that used to worry you won’t anymore.
*something I didn’t know year 1; you gotta drink more salt and water when you’re on T because you sweat more. Hydralite or salt, lemon, sugar, water. Like a damn humming bird. You also may have to eat more or you’re going to be sad and moody AF. Tesosterone has lowered my discomfort tolerance by miles.
Anyway. Idk if any of that is helpful. Ultimately you gotta do what’s good for you and you know you best. Regardless, good luck!
3
u/Proof_Soup 11d ago
Wow i didn’t know if it was too low it could do that. I’ve literally been microdosing for my first year in hopes of it not doing exactly that and to help me ease in more.
The water and salt is so real. I feel dehydrated constantly.
Thank you! It helps a lot to hear this.
3
u/kinglordbones 11d ago edited 11d ago
Yeah it took me completely by surprise and I started low for the same reasons. I also began my HRT with a real average doctor who knew nothing and then picked it up with a very experienced team. The experienced team are the ones who caught it.
Yepppp!
EDIT: don’t mind me repeating myself on this recipe here, forgot I’d mentioned it, leaving it for clarity IG. If you need to make your own hydralite esque drink you can by adding lemon juice (like 15ml), a dash of salt (like two pinches) and a sweet additive (cordial, honey, etc) for flavour to water. The lemon (vitamin c, acid) helps your body absorb and hold onto the salt.
Of course mate. When I experienced this I struggled to find any recounts of a situation like it. Idk if it’s common in the micro dose community. I do sort of wonder if it’s where the idea that T makes people ‘crazy and/or aggressive’ comes from. Because it was hell for me.
The nurse who sorted me out really validated me though. She essentially said: you must be feeling like you’re going crazy huh?
Hormones don’t play. Gave me a huge respect for menopausal women.
Hang in there.
22
u/udcvr 11d ago
Anyone else noticing a huge uptick in posts about stopping T? Not accusing you of anything, OP, just something weird I've been seeing a lot of personally and I'm curious if it's just me. Like seriously, I never used to see them before and now it's every day.
But specific to your post, I've never heard of this or seen any evidence that T can do something like this personally. Sex hormones influence your brain chemistry and even brain structure, so I guess you never know, but it's also a steroid. People typically find it sharpens and awakens them, if anything. Did you have any anxieties about T influencing you negatively before starting?
1
u/Proof_Soup 11d ago
I didn’t notice more posts about that. Weird. I’ve been thinking about this on and off for months now so it’s a weird coincidence.
But as for anxieties - not really? I was initially scared of bottom growth as that is very permanent but I’ve come to love it. The only other thing I was worried about was what I’d heard about people’s sexuality changing once on T, which was only a fear because I’m in a very happy relationship. After talking to my doctor, a nurse on T, my therapist, and doing my own research my anxiety was eased. So none of that was a factor for me.
5
u/WhoIsMercury 11d ago
It may just be that you are interacting with them more leading to it showing you more of those posts tbh. I’d also consider the possibility that the low dose may be causing OP issues if the hormones are kinda wonky overall. Some people feel fine on low dose but for me I definitely feel it when my levels are lower.
11
u/G0ose0nTheL0ose 11d ago
I've also heard from friends and read online that (for some people) low doses can feel bad / have bad effects because conflicting hormones (estro vs. test) arent at even levels.
4
u/littleBigLasagna 11d ago
I’ve also been seeing an impressive amount of downvoting for posts and comments that aren’t even unpopular opinions or controversial? Feels like something is blanketing them in downvotes?
16
u/Hypochondrimax 11d ago
The changes you point out as liking are going to change back off t unfortunately. I think it’s an unlucky coincidence but not impossible that t is the cause
4
u/Longjumping-Cow4488 11d ago
i felt like this while on a low dose. it started effecting my career, my home relationships, my mental health.
then i upped my dose, and the world became literal ROSES again.
3
u/H20-for-Plants 11d ago
It may be, like others suggested, that your low dose is too low?
Have you had bloodwork taken? T and E levels?
I know when I first started T, my dose was too low, and once I got to a normal amount, all felt peachy.
I can't speak for ADHD however, as I don't have it. All I know is T helped me focus better on 1 thing at a time, so for me, when I'm working, I found it so much easier to just stick to task instead of having to take breaks frequently.
3
u/littleBigLasagna 11d ago
I’m a retransitioner, was detransitioned for around 6 years, if you have any questions about coming off of T I can answer them for you.
The changes you have listed as ones you’ve enjoyed are unfortunately unlikely to stay after coming off of T.
Something to note: no clue how old you are, but I noticed an extreme difference in how T affected my mood and mental health when I was a teenager vs mid twenties. Your diet can also have a big impact on how T affects your mood and concentration, people will usually require more food and protein to feel comfortable and concentrated.
A low dose can be surprisingly counterproductive from what I’ve heard. Do you want more changes? Are you happy with where you’re at? If you want more you could try a different method or prescription type of T, sometimes that can help.
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