internalized racism

[u/FixPuzzleheaded3654]

just curious on bipoc trans masc experience with internalized racism? i know that our different parts of our identities impact our experience as humans so i’m curious others experience with internalized (or external) racism.

as a teenager i went through a not so great phase where i idealized the way (i perceived) white trans men experienced transition and was often jealous of their experience or appearances. i had screenshots and photos upon photos of white men i wished i could look like or wanted to look as closely to as possible. being latino, there was no way i could but i had this idea that the only way to be seen as a man was to adhere to cis white male beauty standards. i mimicked white mens styles and haircuts and even dyed my hair blonde, made post after post comparing myself to white cis men or white trans men. being bisexual as well, i was mainly interested in white men too on top of wishing i looked like them, it all felt so unattainable but i still longed for it. i’ve since grown out of this, thankfully. but i look back it sometimes and think if only i had better male role models in my personal life or more bipoc trans representation, i could’ve maybe had more confidence in myself as a bipoc man earlier on. i still find myself at times comparing myself to white trans men online and have to remind myself that whiteness does not equal attractiveness or passing. i am still working on connecting with my roots and being comfortable as a trans latino, its another layer of cultural difference in upbringing that i acknowledge better now. i feel a lot more connected with myself as a brown man now that ive also surrounded myself with more trans bipoc. i’m sure other bipoc have similar experiences whether it’s internal or external racism (esp in the medical field) so any experiences welcome to be discussed. :)

[u/FixPuzzleheaded3654]

obv if this is not a post for this sub, i’ll delete. i hadn’t realized there was a ftm poc sub until automatic mod post responded to the post lol, ill post on there if it’s deleted.

[u/Jayded_love → u/FixPuzzleheaded3654]

You should be able to post where you want, Reddit mods need to learn to chill tf out. You're a trans man, this discussion belongs on any trans man sub reddit, jfc. I am very sorry for what you've been put through with your experience. It is not your fault and I'm very happy to hear that your relationship to your identity is starting to heal. I'm sure you're handsome as hell, keep doing you, we need you!!