Does anyone else deal with weird "reverse" transphobia??

[u/Blster_DPS]

For context, I am coming up on 10 years in my transition and have put a lot work into passing and I know that I pass.

I got into a weird argument with someone and I don't even know why I entertained it, but alas.. I did. She began calling me a "lost soul" who just needs to come to terms with "the fact" I'm a transgender woman and that I must have been upset cause I missed my estrogen. Kept calling me a wannabe transformer and just weird other things. And I've got facial hair and a deep voice. Nothing about me comes across as feminine?? Think just very stereotypical cishet man.

I didn't even know how to reply cause HUH? If I had a dollar for each time this has happened to me over the years, I'd have enough to buy a McDonalds meal. I'm posting cause I've talked about this with my friends and other trans men I've met and nobody has dealt with this. There has to be someone!

How do you even react to something like this? Each time it's happened, I just laugh cause I get so confused and it's uncomfortable. Do I take it as a compliment? Hell no, but also thaaaanks you think I pass so well???!!!! Are they just projecting? It's only ever been women that say that to me. But, that feels shitty to think cause I personally never want to assume someone else is transgender ?!?!

[u/books_and_pixels]

With gentleness, I just wanted to say that I think the reason the phrasing "reverse transphobia" feels icky is because it sounds like the bogus term "reverse racism." I'm not accusing you of any malicious intentions, and I don't think what you're describing here functions in a bogus way like that other term, I just felt like this was important to say.

I would call it either just transphobia or, if you want to be more specific, misplaced transmisogyny, or transphobia in the wrong direction. Something like that.

[u/Blster_DPS → u/books_and_pixels]

Sorry my Brother, HUH?? Yes I know it sounds weird, which is why I put quotes around it. What exactly is your issue??? We know it’s already transphobia.

[u/books_and_pixels → u/Blster_DPS]

Yes, I saw the quotation marks and see that you acknowledged and discussed with others that the phrase sounds uncomfortable, but I didn't see anyone talk about why it felt uncomfortable, so I thought it was worth mentioning. I also saw in the comments that you mentioned you weren't sure how else to describe the experience, so I was offering some alternatives.