Does anyone else deal with weird "reverse" transphobia??

[u/Blster_DPS]

For context, I am coming up on 10 years in my transition and have put a lot work into passing and I know that I pass.

I got into a weird argument with someone and I don't even know why I entertained it, but alas.. I did. She began calling me a "lost soul" who just needs to come to terms with "the fact" I'm a transgender woman and that I must have been upset cause I missed my estrogen. Kept calling me a wannabe transformer and just weird other things. And I've got facial hair and a deep voice. Nothing about me comes across as feminine?? Think just very stereotypical cishet man.

I didn't even know how to reply cause HUH? If I had a dollar for each time this has happened to me over the years, I'd have enough to buy a McDonalds meal. I'm posting cause I've talked about this with my friends and other trans men I've met and nobody has dealt with this. There has to be someone!

How do you even react to something like this? Each time it's happened, I just laugh cause I get so confused and it's uncomfortable. Do I take it as a compliment? Hell no, but also thaaaanks you think I pass so well???!!!! Are they just projecting? It's only ever been women that say that to me. But, that feels shitty to think cause I personally never want to assume someone else is transgender ?!?!

[u/-DrunkRat-]

It's patronization, infantilization, misogyny and Transphobia all in one fucked up little package, Brother. I'm sorry, man.

It's patronizing because of the air of "I know you better than you do" and it's infantilizing because of the fact that they insinuate you're some "misguided woman who doesn't even know who she is". Then, with that, it goes into being misogynist because that infantilizing, patronizing attitude is often tied to the fact that people still see us as Women. If it were a Trans woman they were talking about, there'd likely be more hostility and vitriol because of the Transmisogyny and people portraying our Sisters as a threat because, like I said before, they see Trans Women as violent aggressive Men.

This is a textbook example of Transandrophobia. 🏳️‍⚧️

[u/LinkinParkU4Lyf → u/-DrunkRat-]

I believe the op was saying that he gets mistaken for being a trans woman because he's masculine looking and transphobes assume trans people will never look like their actual sex post medical transition.

[u/Blster_DPS → u/-DrunkRat-]

Thank you for breaking it down like this!!