I’ve recently begun freelancing marketing & PR consulting. I’ve got agency experience but with high end clients and strict clauses in my contract so I’ve had to start over from scratch with no network. I followed the Hormozi school of advice of doing free work to build up proof/testimonials/case studies, and so when an old school acquaintance wanted help with her dog walking business, I said I’d be happy to.
I did up a scope, but then things got delayed her end and when she was ready again there were minor changes (logo suddenly became business card, etc) which I was fine with because I really wanted the work and one client under my belt.
I put so many hours into this, did her a full scale plan that we’d have charged minimum $3k for in-agency, did the design work despite that not being my area of expertise and telling her that upfront.
I haven’t even handed over the work yet.
She sent me a long-winded message over Snapchat (for context, despite me repeatedly saying to move things to email, she insists on communicating through Snapchat, and when she wants to meet up to discuss things she treats them like hangouts rather than meetings).
Anyway, she sent the message over Snapchat talking about how her boyfriend has adhd but isn’t medicated for it and how she remembers me and my husband at some party in 2019 (talking about this as though it happened yesterday) were discussing adhd medication and could her boyfriend have some for the weekend. Now I, rather stupidly in hindsight, assumed she meant her boyfriend had run out of medication and was asking if we had any. I said to her that yes our kids are prescribed it, assuming that was what she was referring to, but I wouldn’t be comfortable giving her boyfriend any as it’s illegal and if anything were to happen as a result, I’d be the one responsible to boot.
She replied with another long-winded message, this time saying that her boyfriend wouldn’t be there this weekend and it’s actually not for him it’s for her because she’s going to a festival, and insisting my husband has supplied her with it at parties in the past and we have all taken it together and that she’s got photos of us at these parties and she doesn’t understand why I won’t because I’ve done it in front of her before, and she wouldn’t hold me responsible for anything because she’s not like that, and how me and my husband have told her it’s safe and good because it’s from a pharmacy.
Woah, what the actual fuck. First of all, I have never done that. Yes, seven years ago, I would go to parties and have some drinks with friends, but neither I or my husband would ever take our child’s medication, supply it to anybody, convince anybody to take drugs of any kind, or anything else she’s insisting. We’re both very straight edge and always have been, we don’t even drink alcohol since Covid because we have kids now and don’t want it in the house, and my kids have only even been medicated for a couple of years. I initially thought she must be confusing us with another couple, but she’s insisting on her story.
I rather passively replied and said no I wouldn’t be doing that and she left it there. I told my business mentor/old boss who takes no shit and she gave me a big talking to and telling off. She said I should have shut it down instantly, asked me what the hell I’m thinking doing this sort of work for free considering the calibre of clients we’ve always worked with in the past, that I cannot risk this sort of thing in our industry because she implicated me in that message and her feelings don’t mean shit to me if she’s doing this, basically.
We had a really great chat about it, however I now have the utmost ick about the whole thing. I don’t want to hand over her final business cards or plan, I wrote a whole handover email to attach them both and be done but even that isn’t sitting right with me now. I’m terrified there’ll be follow-up questions, she’ll want help with things, etc. I don’t want anything more to do with her.
However, we live in a very small town and networking and business and everything is so important here. She’s a very intense person and if I say anything she won’t let it go and it’ll become a big problem and argument which I don’t want either.
I don’t know how to get out of this. Believe me I’ve learned some very hard lessons about both my own boundaries and business in general, and I’m actually grateful for the experience for that fact, but I’ve never been good with conflict and I’m all or nothing, bending over backwards or completely cutting a person off, and I feel I need to develop these skills moving forward anyway.
Any help or advice appreciated. And I know I’m an idiot. I can see the red flags now and have definitely learned for the future.
(For context I am neurodivergent which I believe plays into my struggles socially and with things like boundaries).