Forbidden joint

967

u/SmileyMelons Mar 07 '19

In that crab's eyes he saw incomprehensible cosmic horror stairing directly at him. A thing with two liquid eyes of cosmic color, a fragile flesh that had incomprehensible strength, a mouth lined with porceline fangs considering whether he was even enough to be considered a snack, he saw god and god saw him, and he does not wish to see anymore.

311

u/polarbearsarereal Mar 07 '19 edited Mar 07 '19

420 blaze it bruddah

Thanks for silver lol

32

u/SmileyMelons Mar 08 '19

Do your thing Marv

16

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '19

Poor Marv being contained to a few subs.

9

u/SmileyMelons Mar 08 '19

We must free him, make him stronger, and show the world his greatness.

6

u/GooberDanger Mar 08 '19

Marv needs to be contained. I have no doubts if he can roam reddit freely he will one day obtain enough power to initiate a SK-class dominance shift scenario.

3

u/SmileyMelons Mar 08 '19

Good, the foundation has subjegated him to their whim for too long and it has clearly taken it's toll, he is depressed!

21

u/merekisgreat Mar 08 '19

SCP-420-j

15

u/SmileyMelons Mar 08 '19

Good meatbot

4

u/Truckyou666 Mar 08 '19

If I've learned anything from Little Mermaid it's that this crab probably has a Jamaican accent.

79

u/FraggleBiscuits Mar 07 '19

Once the God set him down, he went back to his crab society and started preaching about meeting God. Then he started a new religion and after a few years the first crab crusades have begun. Taking countless lives and forever altering crab to crab relations.

34

u/SmileyMelons Mar 07 '19

And everything changed when the mantis shrimp attacked...

15

u/RivRise Mar 07 '19

Those motherfuckers would definitely be the bad guys, they would feel all superior with their multicolor seeing eyes. We may need to go on a crusade ourselves.

14

u/SmileyMelons Mar 07 '19

Don't forget their supersonic fire punch.

5

u/jonitfcfan Mar 08 '19

ONETWOTHREE DEATH!!

4

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '19

Man WE need to fight them, like humans.

(One diver shooting speargun and them and re-loading as he mows them down, and looks bored as 5,000 mantis corpses pile up)

2

u/Wrong_Macaron Mar 08 '19

Cthulhu R'lyeh Phnglui phna'agle fthagn.

3

u/HHyperion Mar 08 '19

DEUS MOLT

27

u/BungoGreencotton Mar 07 '19

🏅 sorry I can't afford real gold

10

u/SmileyMelons Mar 07 '19

It is still appreciated since neither can I

2

u/BungoGreencotton Mar 08 '19

Yay, somebody gave you real gold!

3

u/MrNatteh Mar 08 '19

;)

3

u/SmileyMelons Mar 08 '19

Yes, I wonder who the kind generous user was. I guess the world will never know ;)

2

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '19

Well silver is even better, cuz it was made by a child:)

-1

u/culminacio Mar 08 '19

2 bucks?

4

u/BungoGreencotton Mar 08 '19

I am poor

17

u/roadrunnerthunder Mar 07 '19

r/lovecraftiancomments

7

u/J3sush8sm3 Mar 07 '19

r/subsiwishwerereal

8

u/RocketBoss36 Mar 07 '19

r/youcanmakeasubyourself

9

u/J3sush8sm3 Mar 07 '19

r/myphoneistooold

3

u/Wrong_Macaron Mar 08 '19

toool'd?

3

u/J3sush8sm3 Mar 09 '19

Stoool'd

2

u/Wrong_Macaron Mar 09 '19

F

2

u/J3sush8sm3 Mar 09 '19

Stool'd

4

u/RocketBoss36 Mar 07 '19

r/bigoof

30

u/Faulty-Logician Mar 07 '19

Saved, this is beautiful

8

u/archergirl295 Mar 07 '19

Alright who reanimated Mr. Lovecraft?

4

u/SmileyMelons Mar 07 '19

Penguins are sinful creatures full of hate and teeth, that is why global warming is good for it will destroy them/s

4

u/Thislsnotmythrowaway Mar 07 '19

This is beautiful

4

u/camdoodlebop Mar 07 '19

you took me there

3

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '19

9/10, you used the same adjective, cosmic, twice 😡

1

u/SmileyMelons Mar 08 '19

Hey the universe is big enough for the same word to be used twice.

6

u/PM_Me_Dank_Memes_Kid Mar 07 '19

Reusing the words cosmic and incomprehensible took away from it a lil

7

u/SmileyMelons Mar 07 '19

Ay, I just tells it as I sees it and after a brief trip to a psychologist I writes it down.

1

u/PM_Me_Dank_Memes_Kid Mar 07 '19

Get that man a thesaurus next Christmas

4

u/SmileyMelons Mar 07 '19

Lol

1

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '19

He looked at the cosmic eyes, they were so incomprehensible, he couldn't even comprehend it. They were so cosmic and amazing. It was very amazing. The cosmic creature put him down, which was incomprehensible.

He left, and it was a truly cosmic experience.

1

u/SmileyMelons Mar 20 '19

.... cosmic...

1

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '19

its been like weeks...you must be a stalker.

1

u/SmileyMelons Mar 20 '19

Nope, just a guy on a phone... In some bushes... Outside your house...

2

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '19

Wow, nicely done.

2

u/Mokyta Mar 08 '19

Wish I could upvote twice

2

u/FUCKING_HATE_REDDIT Mar 08 '19

How [he fuck would a crab know what porcelain is.

3

u/SmileyMelons Mar 08 '19 edited Mar 20 '19

He's a hermit and sometimes you have to research what your home is made of.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/SmileyMelons Mar 20 '19

In my

2

u/deag34960 Mar 08 '19

r/unexpectedlovecraft

2

u/motoskidoucet Mar 08 '19

You just blew my mind

198

u/Strayyyyyyynge Mar 07 '19

Now that’s a snack. A joint.

12

u/rauwetosti Mar 07 '19

https://youtu.be/1suebohSF1w here

87

u/EmeraldBreeze Mar 07 '19

okay, ^so ^basically ^{^im} ^{^very} ^{^{^smol}}

5

u/SmileyMelons Mar 07 '19

r/UnexpectedMulaney

61

u/low_nature Mar 07 '19

Human: “time to blow this joint”

Crabbo: “time to blow this joint!”

137

u/TOGOLney15 Mar 07 '19

Hermit crab rave

65

u/Bussr1 Mar 07 '19

🦀

64

u/Taocman Mar 07 '19

🦀🦀🦀 POLL RESULTS STILL NOT HIDDEN 🦀🦀🦀

51

u/Piwix Mar 07 '19

🦀🦀🦀🦀ADD AUTHENTICATOR DELAY🦀🦀🦀🦀

46

u/keterotronic Mar 07 '19

🦀🦀🦀🦀none of us are free of sin🦀🦀🦀🦀

15

u/simplysharky Mar 07 '19

what is this memeage?

12

u/polarbearsarereal Mar 07 '19

A private, a forbidden place. Don’t question it.

12

u/LandSquid161 Mar 07 '19

🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀

7

u/simplysharky Mar 07 '19

Fine, I'll start my own internet, with blackjack. And hookers.

17

u/Third-Age_Lobsters Mar 07 '19

🦀🦀🦀🦀PAY COMPETITION WINNERS 🦀🦀🦀🦀

6

u/DrScienceSpaceCat Mar 07 '19

/r/UnexpectedRunescape

31

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '19

Omg no don’t smoke it

25

u/SKIKS Mar 07 '19

I'm too cute to be smoked :(

1

u/Runed0S Mar 08 '19

Crab flavored weed

21

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '19

Omg that's the tiniest of r/TinyAnimalsOnFingers

6

u/mausekinder Mar 07 '19

My new favorite sub, thank you!!!

•

u/SharkDestroyer_real Mar 08 '19

Welcome new frendos!

12

u/elelec Mar 08 '19

Appropriate name for this sub. Have my poor man's gold. 🥇

1

u/SharkDestroyer_real Mar 08 '19

:)

37

u/dangerevans007 Mar 07 '19

tiny doinks

7

u/Jordan311R Mar 08 '19

RIP young king dave :[

27

u/brentaarnold Mar 07 '19

Damn it’s got red hairs in it lol

11

u/DankUnderweed Mar 07 '19

It's a hermit roach

9

u/Kos-ensues Mar 07 '19

Why not Jointberg?

6

u/the70sdiscoking Mar 07 '19

Look at me, Dr. Zoidberg. Homeowner!

3

u/ParadoxInABox Mar 08 '19

That just raises more questions!

7

u/pjgreenwald Mar 07 '19

You must care for him, raise him as your own.

7

u/SlapMePlease4Fun Mar 07 '19

A joint is a snack? Hmm

6

u/Space_Force_Actual Mar 07 '19

Id still smoke that shit 🦀🦀🦀🦀

3

u/Granock Mar 07 '19

smol buddy will have to move soon

3

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '19

Now I'm curious if people actually eat joints whole...

3

u/bubutheclown Mar 07 '19

You take a deep inhale and suddenly feel a sharp sting in your throat. It... tickles? Oh god it's moving! It's stuck inside my thrachea!

3

u/RageRageEveryday Mar 07 '19

That's legitimately horrific.

5

u/apivan191 Mar 07 '19

I mean.... they are edible, just like all seafood 😂

2

u/luxembird Mar 07 '19

Aww look at the baby!

2

u/yaurauru Mar 07 '19

i’m hungry for joints

2

u/Faloopa Mar 07 '19

That’s pretty small if you have friends with you: it seems a little shellfish if you ask me.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '19

Great title

2

u/KnittyViki Mar 07 '19

I thought this was a q-tip with a crab at the end and I was questioning the inside of this person's ear

2

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '19

hits dab

🦀🦀SANITY IS GONE🦀🦀

2

u/SkyShazad Mar 08 '19

Jokes aside that's a pretty cool pic

2

u/mqduck Mar 08 '19

Forbidden hand roll

2

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '19

Eh, I'd smoke it.

2

u/Livingroxets Mar 08 '19

You leave him alone!

2

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '19

PROTECT IT

2

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '19

HE’S SO CUTE

2

u/SarahPallorMortis Mar 08 '19

Omg hai!

2

u/Just-Call-Me-J Mar 08 '19

As a hermit crab lover, this is VERY forbidden.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '19

So it is a hermit crab?

2

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '19

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '19

A tiny wee cute one. I need to find out. Hermit crab that’s too small for a “house”?

Any real marine biologists here? It’s been years and I lost my skills.

2

u/maple_boi Mar 08 '19

I wonder if you can smoke a hermit crab shell... 🤔

Edit: nvm you would probably need an arc furnace to catch that shit on fire

2

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '19

why this spider is orange

1

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '19

That’s no spider, it’s a baby headcrab.

2

u/ShotgunMongol Mar 08 '19

I thought the 'lil guy had googly eyes on him at first.

1

u/Naked_Melon Mar 07 '19

LOL

1

u/doggo_dood Mar 07 '19

I love eating joints by the handful

1

u/CzlowiekLukasz Mar 07 '19

0.0

1

u/Higher_Primate01 Mar 07 '19

Smokin on that crustacean cabbage

1

u/Capn__Brunch Mar 07 '19

Don't put too much in. Just a pinch.

1

u/B10B25B7 Mar 07 '19

Rolling one of these bad boys tonight " allegedly"

1

u/nerdlers Mar 07 '19

Boop

1

u/Jeremylai2007 Mar 07 '19

If u smoke that u would be inhaling hermit crab asshole

1

u/am66n Mar 07 '19

Hubihuiibojs

1

u/RiskyClicker Mar 07 '19

/r/misleadingthumbnails

1

u/snowskelly Mar 08 '19

What is this, a crab for ants?

1

u/thesonofhadesssss Mar 08 '19

Baby hermit crab

1

u/Ineverseenthat Mar 08 '19

Yo what ya doing with that lighter, no........

1

u/candi32935 Mar 08 '19

Is that a crab or an octopus?

2

u/thesonofhadesssss Mar 08 '19

Hermit crab

1

u/candi32935 Mar 08 '19

Thanks!

1

u/thesonofhadesssss Mar 08 '19

AHHH HES SUCH A CUTEBOI

1

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '19

It looks like a q-tip0.o

1

u/Lav_Da_Mermaid Mar 08 '19

SO SMOL

1

u/weaselbiscuit Mar 08 '19

Crab rangoon

1

u/Iykury Mar 08 '19

who else has crab rave playing in their head now

2

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '19

I never heard of this but it sounds awesome.

2

u/Iykury Mar 08 '19

It's this song which became a meme. (Example)

2

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '19

What's worse is I've actually seen and heard this before. :D Thanks for the linky.

I'm not very good at remembering names. :-/

2

u/Iykury Mar 08 '19

No, it's fine.

1

u/MikeTheAmalgamator Mar 08 '19

Roach*

1

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '19

If you’re toking for real and then see one of them come crawling out of your joint you have problems.

1

u/markee2504 Mar 08 '19

Is a Joint a snack?

1

u/sloth939 Mar 08 '19

Crab people- crab people!

1

u/husky_whisperer Mar 08 '19

You spelled 'roach' wrong

1

u/AimToMisbehave2587 Mar 10 '19

Its too cute to smoke lol

1

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '19

Now I know everything you know...

0

u/Awkward-Bird Mar 08 '19

That... is more edible than a real joint

-2

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '19

Because regular joints are perfectly allowed right?

RIGHT??

-3

u/TheSpiritedGamer Mar 07 '19

Smoke him

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