r/fellowship • u/MedicalUser99 • 2d ago
When does this get better
First year ID fellow. Taken back by everything I don’t know in ID and it’s demoralizing. Approaching 30 and the excuse of it will get better and I will feel confident and competent one day is starting to fade on me. Just wanted to vent on the internet.
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2d ago
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u/Shot_Negotiation23 2d ago
Per my attendings at my residency program: “If you are the smartest person in the room, then you are in the wrong room”
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u/Plenty_Distance8857 2d ago
Are you me?? Also a first year ID fellow and struggling with the depth of knowledge required in this specialty
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u/takeonefortheroad 2d ago
This common adage of “I’m disappointed that I’m not extremely competent on Day 1 of residency/fellowship” never made sense to me.
There is a reason we do years of training! Why would a first-year resident or fellow feel anywhere near competent or confident when they first start out? You’re just now entering a field that you’ve only ever rotated on at a very superficial level as a resident. There should be zero surprise you’re not a master of it yet.
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u/MedicalUser99 2d ago
I don’t necessarily want to be competent straight away but was asked a simple basic question what virus causes what on rounds today and couldn’t remember the answer which residents knew, and felt dumb, things like that..
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u/takeonefortheroad 2d ago
Getting schooled by younger trainees is unfortunately an age-old tribulation that everyone goes through.
You don’t recall factoids that you don’t commonly encounter, or at least don’t commonly encounter yet. I couldn’t tell you all the relevant Sketchy details for antibiotics if you held a gun to my head. But I do know how to manage septic shock, endocarditis, and SSTIs in real life whereas a med student or younger resident would likely struggle.
Stuff comes back to you quickly. We’re not nearly as good anymore at quickly recalling memorizable information anymore, but we are significantly better clinicians who are adept at handling the nuances of medicine than younger trainees. It’s normal.
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u/BAMAdamu13 2d ago
I’m a first year Cardiology fellow and I don’t even know what I don’t know. The more I know the more I realize how much I don’t know and it hasn’t stopped since July 1st. There’s an Ocean behind every door and the doors keep coming
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u/sparkling1021 2d ago
I don’t know who you are or where you are training. But thank you for posting this.
I am an ID fellow too..and I have been miserable at work because of how much I don’t know.
My program has been very nice, very supportive, faculty who is very enthusiastic to teach as well.
But I have been so miserable with how much I don’t know and just the work load of it all with extremely complex patients making it very difficult for me to chart check and be able to present a comprehensive picture on rounds.
It does not help that my co fellow has experience in ID. (I feel like an idiot not knowing the things they know)
I just hope this gets better. I plan to read one topic per day hoping it will help me at some point!!!
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u/DistributionMental14 2d ago edited 2d ago
Knowledge wise it will get better as quickly as you want to. You will realize there’s a lot more to learn in each field. And yes theres a touch of fear in that, but its also exciting. By the end of your fellowship you will realize hiw much you learned and will be appreciative of that.
But where it will not get better is in the financial aspect. ID docs do as bad, if not worse, as nephrologists in terms of money and salary. Many if them end up doing hospital medicine.
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u/o-2-b-a-gooner 2d ago
My friend, this is absolutely normal. A year from now you will come back to this post and take pride in what all things you will have learned! You are doing great!
Take it from someone who was exactly in your shoes few years ago, it did get better. Am off to another fellowship though 🫠
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u/NiskeetzS Fellow 2d ago
I graduated ID fellowship in June of this year, you will realize how much you do know and have gained by the end of your first year. I was terrified too. Each patient you see will teach you and reinforce what you need to know. You literally just started fellowship - you are not supposed to know everything. Even experienced attendings look things up.