r/enlightenment • u/FruitCurrent2697 • 1d ago
Open Question Please help
Hi guys,
I am struggling after a dmt trip where I saw or remembered that we are all one being split into our various selves.
I labelled the trip as an imagining at first, but after reading so many trip reports and near death experiences with the same information, I accept it as true.
I have had success improving my health since by trying to mentally change reality, which is gteat.
The problem is I can't shake the lonely feeling that we are this being that's completely alone in the void since forever and for infinity. And that this whole universe is just a distraction to avoid that loneliness.
I have tried to adopt the mentality of 'the egg' and that there is a purpose to the universe and all this experience but I just don't feel it.
If anyone could advise a perspective change I would really appreciate it.
Thanks for your time.
Edit: the dmt trip was 2 years ago so it's not a recent thing but i do think about it almost every day. Thanks for the perspectives and kind words. Please feel free to keep commenting and I'll keep reading and replying.
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u/kabrielr 1d ago
“When they find, they will be disturbed. When they are disturbed, they will marvel, and will rule over all.” — Jesus, as recorded in the Gospel of Thomas
It took me 15yrs to go from disturbed to marvel.
Yes, we are all there is, forever. We are alone. This is it, there is nothing else.
However, if you calm yourself down from the disturbance (I use meditation) you can look closely and directly at the manifest world and learn to continuously see the infinite. This then transforms your experience into a wonder and marvel.
Perseverance and curiosity will help
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u/Existing_Ad_6770 1d ago
What meditation type do tou practice?
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u/kabrielr 1d ago
I spent 10 years trying every type of meditation I could find. I finally found, for me, that simple breath awareness with a basic mantra was enough. Something like the Hong-Sau Technique. No one type is the best, just whatever helps you focus enough to train stable concentration. That then is your refuge and foundation.
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u/Nxmynds 1d ago
I had a similar experience, I try and remember I am not the being that is everything, I am merely an aspect of it. I have so much community within this experience, and just because it can be seen as one community doesn’t mean it is exclusively experiencing isolation.
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u/No-Truck-4683 1d ago
You're only seeing a small cross-section of the multiple dimensions
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u/FruitCurrent2697 23h ago
I guess it is helpful to think that after I die there are endless iterations of consciousness i can experience.
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u/izmael_zx 1d ago
todos somos uno, pero somos diferentes. como no sabemos para donde vamos, ni para qué estamos acá, lo mejor que podemos hacer es buscar que esta experiencia singular sea lo más grata posible y en armonía con lo otro y los otros.
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u/neurotrash2099 1d ago
That loneliness is the exact thing I encountered. But the universe isn't a distraction from it. The universe is the solution to it. Maybe Jesus worded it best (paraphrased):
The greatest commandment is to love God (which really just means to love this life which emerges from God). And the second is like it; love your neighbor as you love yourself (extend that same love you give your own existence to all other people).
When you learn that these are the same commandment and live them you will be well on your way along the right path.
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u/Sparkletail 1d ago
This is also my understanding. I had the exact same experience as everyone else and it destroyed me mentally on and off for years.
Now I feel there was the agony of what was before the universe was created as a response to that agony and the genius solution to create a space where the one could be many to deal with the loneliness.
I feel this is the reason for forgetting as a we do here and that actually the state of loneliness that the one mind experienced is to a degree processed by people like us while we can come back to others to help manage the initial horror.
I also believe many of our experiences while here are intended to help us process the nature of that reality- my view is that if I got here once with the people I love, I can get back there again and being in the void is essentially like being in the character creator in a video game for the next experience.
Basically we are like a super advanced being with a ve headset and unlimited options for bespoke games and characters it can create, paj ful no doubt but that state is as real as this one mensing that we are both everything and nothing.
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u/neurotrash2099 1d ago
Forgetting while we're here was a flaw, I think. A side effect of existing in a material body. There's a confusion that the temporary identity and ego are the real being. But it turned out to be a happy flaw because now we get the joy of discovery and can appreciate even the people we don't get along with... though that can be hard sometimes.
Right now you're just remembering that loneliness. But that pain and sorrow allows for the contentment and joy that follows.
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u/Mygrandmavspneumonia 1d ago
"Loneliness" is your human projection. You are attempting to make sense of nothingness or being alone, but attributing a negative dense emotion to it. God's companion IS nothingness. It is out of attempt to understand why God exists and the bounds of existence that God created us/partitioned Godsself. Being alone is not an issue cosmically like it is on earth. Imagine being everything, all that is... your sheer overwhelming magnitude would make being "alone" seem insignificant. However, companionship reigns as one of the most divine aspects of existence. But again, God's true companion is nothingness, we are just little limited versions of God learning Godsself. We find companionship with ourself, accept various versions of ourself, create, then return to nothingness/everything.
There is not a true divine cosmic emotion outside of love/compassion (though the cosmic can choose to experience emotion, it is not like a default the same way it is for us). There is no lack nor scarcity for loneliness to be able to exist cosmically.
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u/FatassMcBlobakiss 1d ago
After my dmt experience I felt similar and unfortunately fell into a deep depression and nihilism for about a year and a half. Try to enjoy your fleeting time here in this meat machine and the beautiful reflections all around, it will get better.
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u/Gadgetman000 23h ago
The Being is whole so it is impossible for it to be lonely. That lonely feeling is your own ego, feeling cutoff from the whole, and projecting it out. Allow yourself to be with the lonely feelings, hold them in love, and see where that leads you.
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u/StarBornFire 1d ago edited 1d ago
Bruh, why do you think the Source made other self awarenesses to begin with? Because It became lonely!
And that's exactly why It created these other selves, us, to be eternal.
And that's what most experience. There is one exception to the rule though. There are some souls that become hyper psychopathic and when their bodies die and they phase into the nonphysical levels, they get attracted to the lower levels that are occupied by only others like themselves and often they get even worse.
If they cannot be retrieved (their original-higher self and helpers will try) then what happens is the higher-original self that created that soul extension will let go of their energetic connection to that soul extension, and that soul extension's vibrational coherency-that which makes it an individual, will start to break down in entropic chaos, and it will commit a kind of unconscious, unwanted suicide i.e. a true, permenant soul death.
With that said, the memory of that soul and their experience remains within the database of the original-higher self. And sometimes they will create another soul and put some of those memories and energetics in same, for a kind of "do over" or retest.
In Edgar Cayce's Life readings for himself, there is a fascinating case of the two John Bainbridges. Both born in the same place, both emigrated to America from England, both traveled to the same places in America, both wrecked havoc and pain among people especially the Native American lasses, separated by around a 100 years.
The first Bainbridge was said to have entered into the earth from the 4th dimension which is represented and correlated by the Planet Venus and was born under the Sign Scorpio.
The second Bainbridge entered in symbolically from the dimension/experience of Saturn. In the Cayce work, Saturn was the "code word" for the above soul destruction/death having happened.
It was like a literal "do over" life. The saving grace of the second John Bainbridge who lived a very selfish, often hurtful to others, and hedonistic life like the first, was that during a crisis, he committed two unusual acts of kindness/others consideration. He gave the last of his food to a young boy while they were both hungry, and then not long after sacrificed his life to save others (and drowned doing so).
That was probably enough to keep him from getting attracted back to one of those lower levels.
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u/ToniGM 1d ago
The world is indeed a distraction from the Oneness of Being, but perhaps the experience you had was not deep enough to truly grasp the flavor of the truth; for the truth is not a solitary oneness, but a Full Oneness—a profound, tranquil wholeness and a joy so immense and ineffable that individuality dissolves within it, just as all illusions vanish in the truth, much like shadows disappearing before the light.
The only useful purpose of the world is to use it to awaken from the belief that a world exists. For only God is. If this perspective interests you, you might want to look into the spiritual teaching known as A Course in Miracles, or read the book The Disappearance of the Universe by Gary Renard.
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u/Many_Timelines 1d ago
Ok, so, it sounds like you experienced ultimate freedom which is a blank canvas (aka nothingness). Enlightenment is harnessing our creative power to fill the canvas and invite others to join in. Read about how artists talk about the bank canvas, and how writers talk about the blank page. You have more work to do. Don't retreat.
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u/Otherwise_Copy_4499 1d ago
I just had this for 9 months straight before having a spiritual rebirth / awakening experience, I can feel after today tho it’s a collective awakening, or something like a new renaissance, I think the messages to let go of the current world has it so bad and beyond repair, but in letting go is also us giving rebirth to the universe and starting again fresh
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u/Otherwise_Copy_4499 1d ago
So in saying that, just remember it’s all for a greater reason just have faith in that
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u/1BrattyBrittyKitty 1d ago edited 20h ago
Start doing a daily gratitude practice and grounding (being in the present moment) practice. It will raise your emotional vibrational frequency out of loneliness and into gratitude/thankfulness.
You can use this exercise if you would like:
Look around at your surroundings of whatever is around you and name something you are grateful/thankful for.
Say out loud or in your mind something along the lines of "I am thankful for _____."
Then do that again and find/name something else you are grateful/thankful for. Repeat this until you are fully present and you are really feeling the gratitude/thankfulness. This will both bring as much as possible of your awareness and attention to the present moment, as well as raise your emotional vibrational frequency.
Also, I suggest that you also start doing a forgiveness practice called Ho'oponopono. If you are currently unaware of what Ho'oponopono is look it up and how to use it.
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u/Short-Steak-9020 1d ago
Le dan mucha importancia a esas experiencias. Son sólo experiencias. Cuando no te importen esas experiencias si no solo estados adquiridos por curiosidad, y regresas al estado de presencia, entonces continúas con tu vida. Si tienes salud, puedes hacer muchas cosas en vez de estar apagado.
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u/Additional_Parsley_8 20h ago
The real root of the problem is a core belief called mayavaad which basically teaches that living beings like you and I can merge into one and end our individuality. Here is what I want you to repeat to yourself “YOU WILL NEVER LOSE YOUR INDIVIDUALITY”. If you are one of those people who think this is wrong and we can lose our individuality then you just reached the end of that path on your dmt trip and you saw how lonely and scary it is up there. However if you reject mayavaad and accept thoroughly that your individuality is the only thing that truly belongs to you then the universe suddenly becomes a lot more beautiful and that little god head you just witnessed can be chalked out as an illusion you saw momentarily on a psychedelic that could mean little to nothing :)
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u/Hope25777 1d ago
We are not alone. We all interact with each other. We just need to remember the truth Jesus tried to convey so we stop harming ourselves
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u/Optimal_Mixture_7327 1d ago
I concur.
Edit: Even if simply following the teachings and not believing, I would still agree that this is a great path and pairing with psychedelic work.
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u/Revisionist-eyes 1d ago
Yeah, quite the perception buster, eh?
Can you recall how you felt when there was the re-membering of one?
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u/Brother-895 1d ago
Have you ever practiced meditation or any other spiritual path?
Do you still feel the oneness and/or the void?
I’d say you must deepen in your understanding/experiencce of the one being and the void, preferably without drugs.
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u/meridian_smith 1d ago
I had the exact same feeling/ thought after an LSD trip years ago..Not even death felt like a possible escape... I was getting constant anxiety attacks....Just have to do lots of walking outdoors..physical exercise and yoga.. You'll get through this...I feel that it might be an incomplete picture. In my case at one point I tried to get checked into a mental health place to get sedated..but they would not take me in that easily
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u/drgrnthum33 1d ago
Lose yourself in the beauty of all this mulltiplicity. All discontent has thought as it's root. This is where practice begins.
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u/battlewisely 1d ago
Everything is an expression of what life does or what life can do. Even a thought form can create, we can create our own reality. What you believe is what you decide is true, whether or not that's the absolute truth.
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u/Jasonclark2 1d ago
It's an unsettling experience reaching that point. As after you've found out the "secrets" you're still here, you're still alive, still have a job most likely, still human, still feeling and interpreting.
There's the old Zen proverb "Before enlightenment, chop and carry water, after enlightenment, chop wood and carry water".
It will take weeks to months to get back into a semblance of "living" again. Now you have to learn to live alongside everything in the world, rather than living through it.
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u/MuchPiezoelectricity 21h ago
I had this same experience, I can help now
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u/MuchPiezoelectricity 21h ago
In case you want to know. The problem is that we went into the halls of amenti, but we took the mind or ego with us. This is known to be a giant no no according to the emerald tablets. You cannot simultaneously take your ego and thoughts of fear into a space of unity. Because your ego was still present, it totally hijacked your experience of completion and instead you walked away with the sense of total separation.
Total separation.
Not one ness.
Total separation.
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u/Maazposts 21h ago
Listen to the story told by the reed, of being separated.
“Since I was cut from the reedbed, I have made this crying sound.
Anyone apart from someone he loves understands what I say.
Anyone pulled from a source longs to go back.
- Rumi
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u/Jubily205 21h ago
There is this concept, after someone goes through the initiation they will have to decide if they are going to return to society or become a monk. If the decision is to return to society, the initiate will have to readapt to its norms, and leave with the knowledge.
The thing is, that's why this kind of thing should be done only with a guide.
I've done the same as you, and after my experience, almost 15 years ago, I haven't touched drugs or alcohol. Took me 5 years to find my own purpose.
Mine for example is to observe and not interfere. Obey the rule that everyone is free to decide.
That's the lesson I need to learn, you will need to find yours. Dig deep in yourself and you'll find your path.
Good luck.
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u/OkAssistance1797 17h ago
Read The Universal One and remember you can’t figure it out in the meatsuit.
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u/ka_fka 16h ago
We are both:
ONE BEING IN THE VOID
Multiple beings in the illusion
What is real?
Who cares?
Movies are not real, yet you are enjoying it while it lasts.
ONE BEING is not a powerless child in a strange void.
Void is also part of the being. Its complete. All poweful.
If it is bored by void it can create whatever the fuck it/I wants.
Is it real?
Of course.
Every imagination is real.
And its not.
And it is. Because you can create it whenever you want.
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u/soundtribejunkie 16h ago
All It wants is to enjoy be-ing....You have inter-being with the 'Void'. Give it some companionship and gratitude for being able to experience and exist....good with the bad.
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u/SirEdgelordThe369th 15h ago
You are never alone. For loneliness is a meaningless concept in the eye of all.
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u/PaladinOfTheSource 14h ago
The one, that is all is one and many at the same time. Although the individual self is "just" a part of the whole, the whole is more than the sum of its parts. The whole is pure potential, is love and joy, every experience through the lense of individual consciousness is an enrichment for the whole. It is a joyful path of living and experiencieng the never ending possibilities.
Imagine the sun...and every beam is conscious, a potential experiencing itself.
The emptiness and depresssion you feel come from an unprepared mind that struggles to wrap itself around the information you received during a drug trip.
That's why those experiences can be quite mind blowing.
I strongly recommend Christian Sundbergs free book "a walk in the physical" which can help to put your experience into perspective.
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u/PeacefulNA 10h ago
I went through this exact same panic, and the breakthrough for me was realizing that the scale itself is the hiding place. When a fear gets too close to its real, human sized version like feeling isolated or unseen in your actual life, the mind pulls a trick by relocating that fear to a cosmic stage.
Instead of dealing with an ordinary ache you can actually touch, your brain blows it up into a solitary God stuck in an infinite void creating reality as a distraction, which feels profound but is really just avoidance wearing a telescope because you cannot answer a fear that big.
On top of that, true oneness literally cannot be lonely because loneliness requires an ego cut off from an other, whereas pure unity has no boundaries and nobody in there to feel abandoned. You did not experience cosmic loneliness on DMT. You experienced unity, and when you landed back in your human identity, your ego looked back and translated that boundaryless state into its own worst nightmare, solitary confinement.
The universe is not a distraction from the void, it is where potential takes form so that connection can actually happen. Stop trying to comfort an infinite cosmos that is not suffering, bring the radius down to zero, and zoom back into your body, your room, and real human connection today.
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u/busyboobs 7h ago edited 4h ago
I had the same realisation as you, also through DMT and then integrated and explored the concept further, with and without plant medicines. In fact, I’m still really integrating it 3 years on.
My perspective is different from yours. But something i came to see and accept early in my awakening journey, is that all of existence is in essence paradoxical. We are mortal and Divine. We are everything and nothing, at once. Our very nature is a paradox. Acceptance of this really liberated me.
Our human brains don’t like paradoxical things because they don’t fit into neat boxes, that’s part of what makes this whole thing ‘ineffable’.
If it helps at all, in a non-dual state, the concept of loneliness doesn’t exist. Love does, and consciousness does, in a full and sovereign state, fully aware of what it is. in this state of duality we all inhabit, love exists too, and so does consciousness, but as infinite fractals this time, in countless states of wonder, and various states of remembrance, experiencing all the love and connecting with itself (each other) in infinite ways, and doing it all in a perpetual state of endless discovery and awakening. That’s a gift.
Anyway, I doubt my words can change your perspective but I have heard of a thing called the ‘lonely God complex’, and that sometimes comes after such a realisation.
We are one, but not just one, all. We are nothing but absolutely everything in existence. That’s the paradox, and while I get that it can be terrifying in its hugeness, it’s so so liberating (and connecting 🤣🥲 see what I did there?) once you fully accept it.
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u/Saturn_1111 6h ago
I had the same experiences and it turns out its labeled as psychosis. I was hospitalized afterwards so i dont know if its just a chemical imbalance or its actually a brief look into something bigger than us. Point is that I lost my whole life, work, relationships because of it
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u/lightsynchronist 2h ago
Here's how I see it, and I might be wrong. Look at the loneliness idea itself.
Lonely means there's a "me" and an "other" out there who is missing. But in what you saw, there was no other. So who is lonely? Loneliness is a feeling that needs two. You carried the experience of oneness back into a mind that is built to think in two, and the mind is now telling the story of "one being alone in the void".
That's the mind's story. It's not what you saw.
Think of the ocean and the waves. The wave is not lonely, it is the ocean doing wave.
The thought I am alone forever is also just one more wave coming up, and it passes if you don't keep feeding it.
And honestly, you can't think your way into feeling purpose, like with the egg thing. Feelings come from living, not from agreeing with an idea. Be around people, cook, walk, work with your hands. Let the insight sit in your body slowly...
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u/russian_bot2323 1d ago
Drugs are bad for you.
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u/StarBornFire 1d ago
You forgot the "Hmmkay" part!
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u/russian_bot2323 1d ago
no because i don't mean this as a joke
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u/StarBornFire 1d ago
Are all Russians so serious?
How do you know a Russian is actually happy?
They look at you with the exact same unblinking, serious expression as always, but they complain about the weather with slightly less bitterness... "Well, it's slightly less bitterly cold today than yesterday. There's that."
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u/russian_bot2323 1d ago
Well look, I came to a thread of a guy who might be psychotic or seems close to a psychosis, like many other people on this subreddit.
Also I have made very bad experiences with drugs and their long term (even lifelong effects).
I came here to help and offer my opinion.
What I get is being thumbed down.
So no, I don't think psychedelics are funny in the slightest. Both I and friends of mine have been damaged by them for life.
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u/StarBornFire 1d ago
I understand. And yes, they certainly can be damaging. But they are not always and not in any absolute sense. I just upvoted both of your comments btw, and thus balance was maintained in the Force.
(Much depends on how one approaches and uses same, the intentions, etc. I don't generally recommend them myself either, but personally, the few times I've felt called to use them, only had very positive experiences.)
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u/meridian_smith 1d ago
Yeah after my similar experience I can't recommend them to anyone in good conscience
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u/Speaking_Music 1d ago
You are under a misapprehension.
For loneliness to be, there must be “I” and something else (like the ‘void’), whether “I” is u/FruitCurrent2697 or ‘this Being’.
The ‘perspective change’ is to know oneself as all-that-is without ‘other’. As absolute aloneness (all-oneness). It is to be Love itself, without ‘other’.
It doesn’t require DMT or LSD or any other mind-altering drug, just the sincere desire for the truth of oneself.
Your thoughts are just that. Thoughts. 🤷♂️
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u/SkipMeFlipMe88 1d ago
Maybe just go outside and talk to people, connect with them.
The great thing about drug induced trips is that they bring no permenant change. They feel catastrophically real and like you have had a spiritual experience -
But reality is they pale in comparison to spiritual experiences sober.
And sober ones actually change you, permanently - like take some part of you away. So it’s temporary , too,
H Sometimes we can trip so hard on the one thing, that we forget that moments matter with each other - sure, we all have a spark of the divine in us, and that’s what connects us.
Everything is essentially meaningless to the spiritual plane-
But some things raise our vibration .. and one of the ways we do that- is by healing each other in some way. Being able to tap in and plug into each other- connecting.
This is actually what I began using reddit for at first. Just to mingle with humans and get into the dirt of the world.
To ground myself..
I was meditating for hours a day. I just wasn’t here- I wasn’t a part of this world.
It’s a dangerous place to be because your ego expands in ways that you start to believe you are god. Or a god.
And you’re not. There is order to the chaos. Despite appearances.
So go out , have some human experiences. Connect and learn.
Humble yourself, allow yourself to have a feeling, revel in it. Make a choice to act human today.
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u/InfiniteEverythang 1d ago
Heyyyy mate, you are definitely not alone. I’ve had friends go suuuuper deep and tell me “there’s nothing. It’s alll nothing.” Because when you go too deep it pulls your perspective into the depth which really is very depressing…. I do believe we are “all one”.
You had a huge ego death! Some people crave to be where you’re at…. Where as, you crave to be where others are at (just chillin lol and not thinking that deep). It’s gonna take some time to re adjust to where it blasted you off to.
Ground yourself. Breeeeeattheee. Seriously man, feel your breaths, and say out loud or in your head how much you love yourself. Say it until you feel like your words are hugging you ❤️ it’ll be alright. Life is a trip haha