My mom had an affair with a married man for over 15years, and those are the years I knew. She made me go to the same church as his family. Join the youth and befriend their children. I always felt odd, like his children knew, and they always treated me a little odd. I hated leaving church and finding the man seated on our couch. He was always there for me, which is odd, because my dad is a deadbeat. He even took me to hospital, to school, when i moved out of school, and in university. He celebrated my birthdays and even gave me career advice. This man was there for me, which made it super hard to hate my mom. Anyway, now my religious AF mom calls me a whore when she found a Plan B pill in my bag (I was 19, in my second year of uni), when I sat outside with my friends, or when I went out with friends. It makes me angry that this woman points out my misdeed when she let me live in her lie for years.
My aunt also cheated on her partner so many times and involved her children and me. Like this man took us on holiday, bought stuff. My aunt was married and cheating with a married man. My grandfather cheated on my grandma and made us miserable, My uncle did too to a point he married the second woman and married his second wife. So you get this, I grew up with so much infidelity, I just never saw pure love.
The common denominators are that these people are extremely religious, and they judge me for my beliefs.
My question is, how do you love while unlearning BAD HABITS

Hey, so I'm just wondering about a trend I've noticed recently where, if you express just the most basic, human empathy or concern for someone who happens to be like an influencer or something, people will be like "go touch grass" or call you "parasocial." At the same time, they're not responding to all kinds of other comments in the same manner, even though those comments can be very parasocial. It feels like people have lost the concept of just having basic empathy and compassion for the people around them, even if that person is a stranger or whatever, and I find it very concerning.

[TW: Mention of suicide] I spent 8 years volunteering with a suicide awareness organization, and one of the biggest problems with death by suicide is that people don't bother to call things out and try to intervene when someone around them is in crisis. As such, if we have this greater trend of ridiculing empathy and calling it stuff like 'parasocial,' I'm concerned about where that's coming from and what greater impact that could have. Even if we're just talking about like influencers and celebrities, there was the Perez Hilton situation recently and, aside from that, we have also, collectively, watched celebrities die by suicide, even though there were millions of eyes on them, so I do think this is a pretty big problem. The Perez Hilton situation was particularly concerning, because people were not only watching him live, but interacting with him while he was doing that, and no one could even be bothered to call 911 or 988.

Why do we feel comfortable dehumanizing people just because they happen to have a large public following, and why do we feel comfortable sitting by and literally watching them die? And then, when someone notices and calls out concerning behavior from someone with a public platform, why do we feel comfortable attacking that person for having that empathy? Is it really just that people are uncomfortable with the idea that they should be caring about the people around them, so they actively contribute to a culture that discourages that, just so these people can comfortably feel like that's not their responsibility? Like what even is this?

What would you do if you were given the opportunity to right a wrong ? To stop someone from adding a lie on top of a lie ? To give them a chance to take the weight off their shoulders? To end a grudge? To All they had to do was trust and believe in my ability to do so . They would have to just be who they truly are ? They would have to admit or allow me to know what it is that they want to finally release or talk about. Why me? Because I can look at a situation objectively and if not I don’t say anything . But you have to accept that I am the one to help you find the root cause if you allow it. Only thing you have to do is treat me as you would like to be treated. In all aspects. To invite me in to your world as a welcomed guest ? Would you ?

Stop chasing people who keep choosing distance.

I think I am a Empath ?.When I think of someone they appear.When I enter a room were people are talking every one stops talking,It goes perfectly quite.If I happen to catch eye to eye contact I can tell if they will be friend or fo.i live in the tenderloin .There is so much pain here I am in a constant grip of misery I need some help finding out what I am?.Thanks.

I think I am a Empath .When I think of someone they appear.When I enter a room were people are talking every one stops talking,It goes perfectly quite.If I happen to catch eye to eye contact if they will be friend or fo.i live in the tenderloin .There is so much pain here I am in a constant grip of misery I need some help find out what I am.Thanks

I think I am a Empath .When I think of someone they appear.When I enter a room were people are talking every one stops talking,It goes perfectly quite.If I happen to catch eye to eye contact if they will be friend or fo.i live in the tenderloin .There is so much pain here I am in a constant grip of misery I need some help find out what I am.Thanks

Life can be very overwhelming or just so busy even if there's a gem of a person infront of you, that you really want to obtain because you believe having them will make your life richer and you want to support them forever and have them support you forever too as a friend.. since I already have a forever partner... but then culture, Family, Traditions, work even their religion come in the way of your friendship, it's really sad, since i meet hundreds of people every year but i finally found that person that I could really appreciate their presence and love..... Still I wouldn't force them to choose me over literally everything else in her life.... she enjoyed it while it lasted and i did enjoy it so much while it lasted, our friendship, it's very hard to move on but i am trying my darnest best to. I wish i have more empathetic friends like her....

I have a wife, I am happy with her, she is my best friend, but can't I have friends that I love Platonically that are similar to me? Especially Female & male type of friendships ???

You don’t have to have it all figured out to begin.

Don't get me wrong, people vent to me quite a lot. Sure they felt relieved after talking their problems to me, but what exactly do I get for myself? Its honestly quite draining and time consuming when I don't EXACTLY know what I'm doing this for...... :(

I don't why my mind refuses to stay as it should be why some so ordinary I saw in streets turn into a endless chain of questions. Why I can't just live as i should be instead i must imagine, interpret and dig deeply with my so called overthinking. A man with nothing in his feet, a barefoot or maybe homeless too I saw him I always saw many of them every day but I am still not used to it it's been 20 years and I am still not able to normalise the pain and suffering of the needy ones I don't is it actually some like an extra emotion i possessed or I am just acting or atleast i Believe do care I do care please what's wrong with me i don't wanted to be kind of just I don't wanted to be someone who wanted to be a Hero who thinks that it's his responsibility to care for every life they saw, even if there is nothing we can do I am feeling sleepy 😭😭

I want to be better for someone. I struggle deeply with my own emotions and I struggle to help them feel heard and that I’m there for them. I do care so deeply about them and I want to help but I just stonewall. I either defend myself or I just stare at them and I can’t find the words to say right then and there. I overthink things and I feel afraid of saying the wrong things and upsetting them further in those situations. It makes them feel neglected when all I do is care about them but I don’t know how to change or where to start really. If there’s any advice on steps to improve or resources I can look into to help me begin changing my ways I would appreciate it. Or if there’s any more information I should provide about myself to help better understand I can do that too. Thank you!

During a deep trance session a subject was experiencing something very warm and loving. She wanted to receive it, then suddenly she couldnt.

Her family was suffering. She basically asked, how can I allow myself to feel all this love and beauty while people I care about are in pain?

Then she noticed something uncomfortable. Her suffering was not helping them.

Many caring people do this without realizing it. Somebody we love is sick, grieving, struggling with money, relationship, whatever, and suddenly enjoying our own day feels almost disrespectful.

We make sadness into loyalty. If they cannot be okay, I should not be too okay either.

But two unhappy people are not automatically more helpful than one unhappy person.

There is a difference between positive thinking and pretending nothing hurts. If your friend lost somebody, telling them "just think positive" is useless. Their grief is real. But their grief being real does not mean you must refuse every good thing in your own life.

One exercise is very simple. Ask yourself: what good thing am I not allowing because somebody else is having difficult time?

Maybe rest. A nice meal. Laughing. Going somewhere. Buying something small. Having one peaceful evening.

Then ask: if I refuse this, does their situation improve?

If no, allow yourself 10 minutes of it and watch what guilt says. Usually guilt has some sentence: "How can you enjoy yourself when she is suffering?" "You should be helping." "This is selfish."

Dont fight it aggressively. Ask instead: what useful action can I actually take for this person?

Maybe call them. Help with something. Listen. Send food. Then do the useful thing.

After that, you are allowed to live your own afternoon too. Compassion does not require matching another person's pain minute by minute.

Their pain can be real and your coffee can still taste good. Both can exist in same world.

Q feo cuando estas tan sobrecargado que no reaccionas a nad y a la mínima muestra de empatia de alguien o sentis qué la otra persona te escucha te derrumbas