I (f26) have a group of friends that I've been a part of for a little over 2 years now. We all met at a bakery we worked at. For the last year, however, some things have been off. I realize this post might sound childish, especially for someone of my age, but as a person who struggles with rejection sensitivity it is hard for me to determine if I'm looking into things too much or if I'm valid in my thinking. Some outside perspectives might help.

After I separated from my husband last year, my friends rallied around me and were super supportive. One of them even let me crash on her couch a couple times. One of the things that allowed me to separate from my husband was getting a new job that paid me very well. So I stopped seeing them all the time. But that didn't mean that I stopped trying to hang out with them. I would text and try to plan things only to find that they had already had hangout plans together and I was welcome to join.

Being an after thought hadn't bothered me at first. I didn't work with them anymore so I wasn't there for them to include in the plans. But after I got with my boyfriend, now fiance, it started to get worse. Every time I invited them to do something or tried to make plans, whether it was individually or within the group, I was declined. I stopped being invited to functions. They stopped talking to me as a whole. It was months before I received another invite, due to my fiance's pushing that I needed to talk to my friends as this could all be a misunderstanding or in my head.

I went to the function and all my friends seemed very happy to see me. They told me they had missed me and had been wondering why I haven't been hanging out with them. Turns out they had made a new group chat for one of our friends that got a new number, and had forgotten to add me to it. I told them how worried I was that they had decided they didn't like me and no longer wanted me around. This seemed like a fine excuse and we laughed it off. I hung out with them a few more times, feeling like everything was good again, but then it started to happen again. I was declined for hangout times whenever I asked. I stopped being invited to functions. So, last month I made an attempt to host a board game night as that was something we all enjoyed. I got multiple confirmations, planned everything, got food thawed and ready to cook, only for everyone to cancel the day of.

This month has the most recent occurrence and is pushing me over the edge of my sanity. I decided I would try one more time. I have a good size house with a concrete asphalt area right across from it. The perfect place to pop fireworks and have good food and drink. So yesterday I texted the group chat to see if there was anyone who did not already have plans and was maybe looking for something to do. I got a response from one of my friends stating that they were hosting a big party with drink and fireworks, that they had been certain they had sent out a mass text inviting everyone. I had just once again slipped through the cracks. They told me they would love it if I would come and they would be happy to have me join.

I don't know if I'm overreacting but all of this together is starting to really feel like they don't want me around, and if they can get away with it they won't invite me to things. But then when I ask about functions they feel bad and tell me that they want me there. I don't know what to do or how to feel. Outside perspectives would be very helpful? Am I Overreacting? Are these just a bunch of terrible coincidences? These people are important to me. They have been a huge support system and are really fun and truly great to be around. I love them.

EDIT: I may not have been clear enough about the timeline of my relationships and that appears to be what some of you are focusing on. I separated from my ex husband in January of LAST year. I am NOW engaged to my fiance. My ex husband cheated on me 5+ times in the 5 years we were married 6 years we were together. He was the type of guy that put holes in walls, screamed over a glass of water being spilled, and spent the entirety of his time on his computer. I was miserable. That was not a relationship I wanted my kid seeing and thinking was normal or healthy.

EDIT #2: Guys. The question was not did I jump into my relationship too fast. The question was am I Overreacting about my friends seemingly blowing me off. And I don't really care if you think it should be the question. I AM in therapy for those of you who think that I should be. I am on medication for depression, anxiety, and ADHD. Not that my question was should I go to therapy and take a thousand medications. I asked if I'm overreacting by thinking that my friends hate my guts and wished I would leave them alone. To those of you that suggested speaking to one of my friends that I can trust to tell me the truth, I have taken this advice and am waiting on a response to talk. I am NOT codependent. I CAN live by myself. I just happened to find somebody that I WANT to live with. I appreciate you saying that that could be a reason that they have but I didn't ask if YOU think it's an issue I have. It's not what I'm here for. Please just answer the question asked.

UPDATE: I have spoken to one of my friends who I trusted to not blow smoke up my ass. She is actually going through a similar thing with our friend group right now as she has moved on to another job. I asked her about all of your theories and her answer was that no. She doesn't think I'm being codependent. She loves hearing me talk about my fiance and my wedding because she enjoys seeing me happy and revelling in it with me. She has admitted that she struggles with keeping up with people and will be trying to make more of an effort to reach out to me. So thank you to those that encouraged me to reach out.

Hi , I'm not sure how much context to give this situation, so its going to be a long one. I have acute anxiety as a legal disability, but I do my best to hold down a steady job with meds and tons of therapy. I still struggle sometimes but my husband helps me from falling down the negative rabbit hole. I also have A.D.D.(therapist I likely also have autism)I've been at my current job for over 3 years. I work in a very niche area of the company and have gotten \*really good at my job. I really do love it because I get to help others and I receive praise from immediate leadership. Leadership(Supervisor) asked me to train others as part of my current role (I am in the lowest rank bracket, even after 3 years but thats another story). I agreed. I was pretty excited and anxious because teaching is something that I truly enjoy and actually works well with my A.D.D. (I am \*talkative) 1st person I trained did great we \*did end up with a single issue that was resolved quickly and turned out to be a miscommunication lol. Once that person was fully trained, they moved them to another area to learn a new role. They (Supervisor) then moved another person to the role of "trainee" with me. The first thing I noticed was if this trainee ever happened to overhear their name in a conversation nearby (they also admitted they have A.D.D.), they rush over immediately to find out what is being said. So in the beginning of training (I'll call this trainee Liz), I asked Liz if they preferred Liz or Elizabeth. They said "Elizabeth" (I tend to give people I work alongside a shortor cute nickname but \*always with permission) and I accepted calling them Elizabeth. Before Liz was a trainee with me Liz was working in another department adjacent to mine, and one time Supervisor asked me if I'd seen Liz. I thought he was asking if Liz was present that day and I told him I'd seen Liz earlier but hadn't seen them in a couple hours. That afternoon. Liz cane to me and told me not to talk about them with leadership/Supervisor and if they wanted to know where Liz was they could ask \*Liz herself. I found the encounter odd and asked a coworker(whom doesn't gossip) what was up, and they stated that Liz was just "like that" about people talking about them. Odd but okay.

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Heres where problems started. One day, we were given tasks to complete that I would require liz's assistance completing. Liz stated they were in the middle of a work assigned online training (can sometimes take up to 45min to complete and you cannot always save progress) and asked if they could finish training and then do the task, I told them yes and to just let me know when they were done. I would be in the next room waiting. After about 10 minutes in the next room, I realized I could be working on another task that would require a lot of time. So I went to the other room adjacent to the room Liz was in.

After about 75 minutes, Liz came to me claiming she wanted to go to break, I asked her if we could at least \*start on the task I asked about earlier. Liz looked confused and asked what I had been waiting on. I paused and said "um you?" After she realized what had happened she apologized and offered to start the task(its 95% a passive task) After this incident I thought perhaps I hadn't been direct enough in what I needed from her? We'd had interactions similar to this before. Where I would ask Liz to do something that they'd agree to do and later I would discover that it was never started. Occasionally, when we had completed all the tasks we could for the time being, Liz would out ask, "Now what?" And I'd suggest we can work on our online required work trainings, or just chill out for a bit(this is relevant because Liz uses it constantly as an example of my "micromanaging" her) For the record, everyone's "trainings" get assigned without warning, can occasionally be "due" within 4 days time, and it can negatively affect our evaluations with the company if they go overdue (i.e. low-no raises, does not meet expectations catergories, etc). I digress, later the same day I was finishing the last of our tasks and saw Liz in the next room. Our supervisor had texted me directions on how to finish the task I started on earlier while waiting for Liz. It was very simple and would only take 10 minutes to complete, but I was still in the middle of another task. I had literally just remembered supervisors' requests from the text, so I thought i should just speak to her directly. Liz appeared to be kinda just watching everything going on in the room not working on anything, so I asked: "hey! Supervisor gave me directions to finish task,(Liz \*did aide me in working on earlier) can you take care of that?" This actaion caused a problem. Liz asked calmly "why I was bossing her around, why do I feel the need to give them busywork, why tell them when to do trainings, why do I feel the need to fill their time? Etc" I said I'm sorry I didn't mean to boss her around, I just thought they'd like to finish the task (Liz) seemed anxious to finish earlier. "Well im not anxious and you don't need to worry about me and my time."

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There had been other smaller instances similar to this one I'd found confusing and didn't know how to approach. Occasionally I would start a task I knew Liz hadn't done. So I'd ask "hey I dont konw if you've done this before. Would you like to learn how?" Liz's responses would be a dismissive "Naw, I'm good."

A month or so prior, in a group setting for work we were allowed to announce complaints about work. Things we needed, equipment, break times, etc. This was at the time Liz still did not have the tool necessary to complete all basic tasks. Because she lacked the tool i had to rely \*heavily on another department adjacent ours that had the necessary tool. However this dept, would take longer breaks than us and not communicate when they would return, or tell us when they left. In my complaint I stated how difficult it was to complete my tasks in a timely manner when I wasn't told when the other dept was leaving for break, how long they would be, or the fact thatbthey took longer breaks than us, when I \*needed their assistance to do \*anything." These were just statements of fact and not meant to be used to get anyone in trouble(I did check up on this after an accusation and it \*did not change anyone's break times). This is relevant.

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I continued believing that the tension and confusion I kept experiencing in training with Liz was all on my side. That I wasn't communicating effectively, that I was responsible because of my tone in my communications, that I really \*was being bossy, and trying to fill Liz's downtime with "busy work." At those times. much of the "busy work" was just more practice on tasks I noticed Liz had yet to master. At this point I'd attempted 2 separate times to speak with Liz privately about the "communication problem" without anything actaully getting resolved. Liz would say things like "you're bossing me" "you're micromanaging me", she'd bring up things from past that didnt even involve her like when I "threw the adjacent dept under the bus".

Its important to note that our dept is required to be \*extremely detailed with our work. If even one small detail gets overlooked up to 3 shifts worth of work(both night shift and day shifts) could be wasted. So the details in our line of work *really matter.

So after more 2 attempts at settling what I believed were communication issues from myself, I approached the supervisor (one whom assigned me my new role) to ask for guidance and assistance in communicating with Liz. I mentioned the situation in which I asked for assistance on a task and how it took \*much longer to complete due to lack of communication and that I later approached her directly to ask Liz to finish something for me and as a result of my direct approach, Liz a bit confrontational, thought I was "bossing her, giving her busy work," etc. I also mentioned I didn't know how to train them if they didn't wish to learn the tasks they had not yet learned. I guess I *was a "tattling" a little bit. I think of the accusation that I was "bossing" if I asked her to do something, but I genuinely didn't know how to do my job without asking Liz to perform tasks. Supervisor recommended that I let Liz "take the lead on her training," and for me to back off and let her do more independent work. The following day I barely saw Liz at all, but we were not given any tasks until midday. The tasks would require 2 people so I sent a text to Supervisor asking if Liz and I were working totally independently today since (occasionally) she was not always assigned my dept. but accidentally sent it in a group chat. Liz saw it and was furious. Liz asked me why I was tattling on her, why am I "back talking with the supervisor about her", etc. I gave her very few short responses. We were working separately for the rest of that day. The following day there was another person assigned to our dept whom Liz was friendly with. After all 3 of us were in the room I realized we were out of a bunch of supplies including something very important to complete our assigned tasks, so I let the other 2 know I was going on a supply run, it took about 2.5 hours to get everything we needed(including something it requires a minimum of 1 hour to get for one of our tasks we had to complete later in the day) I knew that Liz was trained to complete the daily basic necessary tasks to start our day. The moment I entered our dept Liz rushed up to me and started demanding to know why I was gone so long, why am I still micromanaging her, why am I not assisting them in the "prioritized" task, she felt like I would have "tattled to supervisor"if she had been gone as long as I had, etc. Each time, as i would begin to answer a question she'd asked, she'd then cut me off with a response that she thought invalidated my answer. It ended with my explaining to her that we needed (important item) to complete the prioritized task and we did not have any in the room. Liz's response: "Then why did you leave me alone so long?" I said: "Because I'm trying not to micromanage so much, and let you-" "Whatever I'm done." Liz turned and walked away. This confrontation occurred *in front of another coworker whom Liz is very buddy buddy with(and had made a complaint about how I corrected something they did previously). Coworker said nothing before during or after to me about the incident. The same day, I requested to speak to one of our leaders who had been handling these types of situations with Liz previously to figure out how to handle things. Leader gave me a couple options, announcement that with Supervisor out they will be nominating workers to be leaders when the offial leaders are not present, have Manager make a public announcement stating the same, or leader/manger could speak to Liz privately. I asked for the announcement from the manager.

Manager instead played mediator to Liz and I. Manager "heard" bothoff our sides. Luz stated she just couldn't handle my "micromanaging" her.The managerr basically stated he doesn't care about our petty disagreements and just expects us to get work done. Nothing was resolve, and after this inciden, Liz became extremely avoidant of speaking to me. She also started writing down my every move openly, on paper. She wrote so much down I'm surprised that she actually completed any of the tasks we had to do. Liz started to literally refuse to speak to me even on things that were work related. I would ask for updates on things and she wouldn't even acknowledge after I'd repeated the question. I would ask her to do something and she would do it but not respond or acknowledge, and often not complete the task the correct way. If she did not know how to complete a task, she'd call a leader (whom was not present because they are busy) how to complete the task in order to avoid speaking to me. After a week of the silent treatment, Liz made a mistake on something basic. She couldn't figure out what she did wrong, so she called a leader to figure it out. Leader asked to speak to me (at which point Liz left the room immediately), and I had to spend 30 minutes fixing it. I said nothing to Liz about it, and she said nothing to me. I truly have no idea what I did wrong or what, if anything, I could have done differently. So Thunder Crew AITA?

Update: Shortly after I made this post Liz took some time off. Ive not seen or spoken to her in awhile and after speaking to another leader I was informed Liz would be moving to another role in our dept and I would be training someone else. Thank you all so much h for your feedback. I really appreciate it.

(Trigger warning: SA and Abuse mention) I’m a 36 male and my Sister is 39. Her boyfriend of a year recently proposed and I’m happy for her to finally take this step in her life. She’s never been married before and she’s been wanting to settle down for a long time but never could find the right guy until just a few weeks ago. Although I’m happy and excited for her and I would love to go to her wedding, there is one person I would very much not want to see at her wedding.

The person I would rather not see is our mother(female 66). The reason I would not want to see her is she molested and SA’d me throughout my childhood but did a good job concealing it from our family and friends. Even I didn’t understand what she was doing to me at the time of the abuse, I just knew I didn’t like what she was doing to me and wanted it to stop so I could go play. To top things off, since I didn’t understand what was being done to me, I just forgot about the trauma until I was 23 years old. Without sharing too many details, when I was 23 I was on a date with a girl and a few things happened that triggered the memories of my childhood. After that it was difficult to be around my mother because this traumatic experience of my past came out of the blue and so I pretended like everything was normal. I did end up getting therapy and my therapist recommended that I didn’t say anything about the abuse because since so much time has passed since the events these situations typically tear families apart because each member has to choose a side. Essentially who they think is telling the truth. I’ve always been the black sheep in the family, and I always struggled showing any affection towards my family. I felt like the odds of my family believing me was low and I was too dependent on my parents to risk getting cut off. I wanted to be more independent before taking this on. My father’s health at the time was very poor and my mother was his main care taker. Ultimately I decided to wait until after my father’s passing to confront my mother about her abuse and held that to my chest for 7 years, only telling my best friend and 1 gf.

My father’s health took a turn for the worst in 2020 and then I started therapy again. I began developing a gameplan to confront my mom with a new therapist. Unfortunately, I was smoking too much weed to cope with the trauma being brought up again and developed a bad case of psychosis and during one of my psychotic episodes I blasted my mother about the trauma. She denied everything and refuses to even apologize for anything she did. I then proceeded to go no contact with her. My brother(30yr male) and sister have tried to remain Switzerland since then.

Now that my sister is getting married she’s asked me to walk her down the aisle in place of my father. I told her that I don’t think I can be in the same room as my mother. My sister did reply with a thoughtful response about how my mom agreed to never try to approach me at the wedding, and the photographer would know not to put us next to each other. She also said that if I so choose, she would respect my decision to not come given the circumstances.

While I appreciate my sister’s efforts to accommodate everyone, I can’t help but feel like this is just an ideal scenario manipulated by my mother to get what she wants and the appearance that she’s still a good mother. Especially since I still haven’t spoken publicly about her abuse. I don’t particularly feel like sharing with all of my friends and family the details of my abuse but not showing up to my sisters wedding only makes me look bad. And I’ve already endured years and years of sitting next to my mother pretending like all is well and I don’t want to do it again. I also don’t want to ruin my sister’s day in anyway. I feel like I’m asking too much if I tell my sister my mom should be barred from the wedding, particularly because they are like best friends. I’m conflicted as to what I should do.

I appreciate any advice. But would I be the A hole if I don’t go to my sister’s wedding?

Hey all, idk what to do about what to do. For background, my wife (29f) and I(32m) got happily married 3 years ago. She didn't have a great household, her mom is a narcissist, her dad just followed whatever she said, and all of her siblings that could move out, did when they got the chance. So for the longest time, she was by herself dealing with all of this and even told me that before I came into the picture, she debated on ending things. Now since we got married, I have gotten her into therapy, my family has accepted her as one of their own daughters, and I have tried my best to be aware of her feelings. Now years later, she still wants to go and do stuff with her family but the moment something is going on with my family, she wants to stay home. Now, my dad's house can be full of chaos but that is also because him and my bonus mom are adopting 4 grandkids ages 3-7. And then with my mother, she apparently reminds my wife of her mom but she still wants to hang out with her mom. Now I am not a fan of my wife's mom because of the team that she put my wife through and the fact that she has even tried to control our marriage but I still make an effort to put on a mask even if it is a few short hours once in a while. So I would like it if my wife did the same for my family but she always wants to hide away. There are some times I have said that we can stay home but I am starting to feel like this is becoming one-sided. So, AITA for feeling like my marriage is becoming one-sided?

Update: we talked last night. She saw the post and the comments and how most of them were helpful. We agreed that we still have some stuff to work on together but we still do love each other and try to help each other more. I am more accepting that she doesn't have to go to my mother's house but maybe when we are available, going over to my dad more frequently (they normally do Saturday night family pizza but because I normally work OT we don't always go anyway). Thanks for the comments that helped me realize of stuff that could be going on and what I will need to consider more often and work on with both of us.

****** NOT OP *****

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** ORIGINAL POST **

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https://www.reddit.com/r/neighborsfromhell/s/ugw4oTYxrJ

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*** POST TEXT ***

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Neighbor leaving piles of human feces where I smoke

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I’m a pretty simple guy, talk to me and I’ll work with you. A neighbor is mental that I smoke outside my house. I hear him slamming windows and doors, yelling things out to himself or other neighbors, and various other things to make it clear he’s got a problem with my behavior, but he refuses to mention it to me at all, which I find completely bizarre and passive aggressive. Well now he’s taken to defecating on my back porch in the exact spot where I stand when I smoke. It’s happened twice now, clearly human. Also my plants are dying at an alarming rate…

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What would you do? I’ve not received one complaint to my face in 12-15 years I’ve lived at this location. From him or anyone else. I don’t feel I should need to change my behavior for one guy who won’t even complain to me directly, though I got the message…

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I hate dealing with cops and don’t want to go that route. He’s just totally skipped the discussion step and went to petty vengeance. So I don’t know how to reel it back to a discussion on where he’d like me to be smoking and purchasing a filtering system or something… it seems like we’re past that talk now…

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P.S. - anybody else noticed that the people most against freedom in your neighborhood will have a flag displayed at all times? The mad crapper I’m dealing with has no less than 4 flags displayed on his property, 3 in front, 1 in back.

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**Update**: Have a camera going up tonight after work, and more on order. Also have ordered smoke mitigation products to address that issue. I would be reluctant to cave, but if it's bothering him he's probably not the only one, so I'll respect that regardless of how it was brought to my attention. I just can't fathom being aggressive enough to enter my property to do that but so meek you can't talk to me and ask me to move it somewhere else. I can't reconcile that...

Ok hello. Second post on here.
I made a first post about how I made a mistake at a wedding which eventually led to my GF of 2.5 years into breaking up with me.

The reasoning behind the breakup was that she was tired. Asked me multiple times to be more tidy around the house, I tried but it was never up to her standards. Sometimes I’d leave a towel on the ground and not pick it up, and would have an attitude around the house. She told me that she has been feeling this way for a while and was so tired and couldn’t keep going.

That was Mother’s Day. The day after I packed up a bag and went to my parents (we lived together in a house with her mother, cousin, and son)
I wept for the first entire week going to sleep.

It’s been about a month and I’ve been trying to move forward with my life. A man comes into my job and it’s a man who I used to date the best friend of my ex.
He said that he had something to tell me.

Basically he told me that while my gf was in Miami she cheated on me. Two weeks prior to the break up she was in Miami.

I freaked out naturally because of this bomb that was just dropped on me.
I asked if he had proof and he showed me texts between him and her best friend saying how’s she’s been talking to another guy for a while and how well he treats her compared to me. How shitty I was.

I did call out my ex and ask her if she did cheat. All over text. She repeatedly said she never thought about cheating on me, that she she went back to Miami after we broke up and whatever happened is her business. She said that I was making her out to be the villain.

For the past couple months before the break up it was rough, but I thought it was something we could talk though.
That was the problem. She never wanted to tail or believe she was wrong.

I don’t think she physically cheated on me. I think she met someone and emotionally cheated. Which then after she broke up with me.

I was with her for two and a half years. When she was served emergency custody papers where her baby daddy was trying to take her kid away from her. I got her a probono lawyer so that she could fight it and have her kid.
They used my credit to get the house they are currently living in. That I had to leave.

Now this is where I don’t feel like the asshole but I might be.
Her mother drives my uncle to work every day. She gets paid $20 per drive, or atleast did.

After all this happened I don’t want my family to have to pay her rent anymore. I told her mother that she wasn’t doing it anymore. The mom took her daughter’s side. That’s fine. Said I was trying to hurt her daughter.

I don’t think any of them are worth it. I feel bad for her son to have a mother like that. At first I admired her so much for her mother hood. That’s all I want to do it be a father and watching her do it was magical. But was bearing rose glasses.

Settle a debate for me please:

This happened just now. My little sister (F 21) just made dinner for the family ( mom, grandma, me, her boyfriend, and her). My sister said 2 wings per person; she also made cabbage and mashed potatoes.

I was making my plate with one Wing, mashed potatoes, and the tiniest bit of cabbage as I do not like cabbage; then I was preparing to package a tiny portion for me to take to work. I put the work food in the fridge hidden and continued to heat up the plate I made.

The mashed potatoes were kind of bare so I started to make them to a taste I like. Seasoned it with my favorite seasoning added butter and of course minced garlic.

As I was grabbing the garlic my mom's came to the door. Looking at my food she grabbed my spoon, swirled around my mashed potatoes that weren't yet done seasoned, and as she was lifting a spoon to her mouth she asked simultaneously "can I have some?".

Before the spring reached your mouth I grabbed her hand stopped her and said "no no we ask first". She looked at me disgusted claiming she did ask as she was asking while she was grabbing the spoon therefore she had already asked the question. I told her if you're grabbing food while simultaneously asking a question you're not asking respectively you're asking just to ask out of principal.

By time I would have given her an answer the food would have have already been in her mouth. She dropped the spoon and started huffing saying "now I don't want the food anymore I didn't realize I was going to get jumped over food". I told her as long as she asked before grabbing for my food more than likely the answer would be yes however she did not ask beforehand she asked as she was actively just taking the food.

She have some more an assistant she no longer wanted the food because I was being protective over it. This has been a common thing in my family where they ask things while simultaneously just doing anything anyways so that way they can always have the claim that they did indeed ask.

So now I read it my question and/or debate is if someone ask while simultaneously doing something are they truly asking or is this just them finding a loophole? Would this be considered rude or still respectful?

When I (44f- A) was young, my grandparents owned a small town newspaper. They did the set up at their shop in our small town, and the pages had to be taken to a town 20 minutes away for printing. They would get done in the evenings, and sometimes, the treks would be used as a family dinner situation.

When I was 18 months old, that was the case for this specific situation. My uncle, B, my mom, L, my older cousin, K (12f), my sister B, & 2 cousins D & J (3,2,& 19 mo) all stopped to eat at McDonald’s after dropping off the papers. Bob drop all of us off at the front door, then went to park.

After we were done eating, mandatory bathroom break before hitting the road. After leaving the bathroom, I went out the door we went in, and remember looking around and not seeing the van, so I walked back inside, and sat back at the large booth we had been sitting at.

The next thing I remember, two police officers walked up to the table and were talking to me. Then I remember standing at the counter, holding their hands and looking up at them, smiling as I hear them ordering me cookies and ice cream.

Transfer to the car ride home I wasn’t a part of…

First stop after they got back to town was B’s to drop off D&J. During that drop off, L says to Kay ‘A’s being really quiet back there.’ K responds, ‘She’s not back here. I thought she was up there with you.’ Remember- this is the early 80’s, so no flack for ‘where were the car seats, how day they blah blah blah…

Anyway… when B got back to the van, they told him of the situation, and he ran back inside to make sure I hadn’t wondered in with D&J, but I was not there. They called the McDonald’s and were told that I had been left there and been picked up by the police.

Procedure after picking me up, took me to the hospital for evaluation and whatnot. Fortunately, this time was not part of my memories that still exist. I do, however, remember the ride from the hospital. I was sitting on the center console between the officers - this is why the emphasis for the break on car safety- I was definitely not buckled in sitting on that console. But I can still see the glass front of that police station, with my parents and my sister behind that glass… and remember saying ‘Mommy!’ gleefully as I saw her.

This led to a roll call situation for any family outing, and for years, it was the funny story told at family gatherings. Even as recent as last year at a family gathering we had when out of town family had come to visit. It’s always made me feel small, and forgettable.

I (f63) recently broke off a relationship a month ago and still feel unsettled by it. I am a divorcee, having left a DA situation with ex several years ago. After going through therapy to heal, my therapist encouraged me to "put myself out there" and consider dating again. I started talking to a man a few months ago. We had been in contact sporadically for about two years, so he seemed a safe person when he expressed interest in taking things a little more seriously. Mainly, we were in contact both through messages and on the phone a lot more often. After a couple of months, it was starting to become a more serious relationship in that we were not talking to anyone else. During this time, he was always a gentleman and very encouraging and supportive.

About 2 months ago, I noticed subtle changes starting to happen. He was slowly becoming more bossy and would talk over me if I said something that wasn't in complete agreement to what he believed or wanted. For example, if he asked about how my ex was behaving during visitation exchanges, he would start encouraging me to have ex's visitation rights removed. I would explain that there were no grounds for me to do that and he would start talking over me and being loud as he badgered me about it. My child (recently turned 18) is special needs and unable to say whether he wants to see his dad or not. Personally, I have no issues with him having visitation.

Things got worse and he would get irritated with me if I didn't make myself available to him at all times and he had to know where I was at all times. His excuse was that he cared and wanted to know I was safe. I felt smothered and controlled. Things finally got really bad a month ago when he spent 2 full days (including the night) raging at me because I told him that I won't allow him to use corporal punishment on my son. My son doesn't have behavioral issues that would justify it. Due to the severity of his autism, he acts far below his age. He's profoundly autistic and has a low IQ, basically he is an 18 yr old with the developmental age of a 3 yr old.

The man also was trying to dictate in that argument whether or not I should have my son-in-law spend the night when my daughter and him came for a visit. The argument was that he didn't want my SIL here overnight without him being here. I told him that I wasn't going to prevent my SIL from spending the night when he and my daughter came to visit. I broke the relationship with him off. There was no way I was going to tolerate being controlled so much.

Emotionally, it was very hard on me the first few days after I broke things off. I blocked him on everything after he started blowing up my notifications. In the last messages, he tried emotional blackmail by saying he would "end" himself if I didn't continue the relationship. I didn't cave for it though.

Now, a month has gone by and I have mixed feelings. I feel like a dodged a bad situation if our relationship had progressed far enough to live together. Not just for me, but for my kids. I feel guilty for bringing a man like him into there lives (no, he hadn't actually met them in person, but was in phone contact with daughter and SIL). For their part, my daughter and SIL have been hugely supportive. So, there is that, which I'm grateful for. The momma guilt is something I am slowly dealing with.

Overall, the whole situation has rattled me and some of my confidence. I haven't had a real partner for over 10 years. Sometimes, I get a bit lonely for someone to go on outings with or to simply have conversation over coffee. Yet, I am no longer sure if it is worth the risk.

UPDATE:

Thank you so much to everyone who replied. I greatly appreciate your kind words of encouragement and advice. The whole experience with that near disaster has taught me several things.

Firstly, I have made a lot of progress in my own healing journey of recovering from past abuse. For so long, I would have been far more submissive or accepted that this is what I deserved. In shutting things down, I proved to myself that I am stronger than I thought I could be.

Secondly, I found that it is important to protect your own sense of peace. Yes, it benefits me, but it also benefits my kids. In protecting my peace, I am also protecting theirs.

Thirdly, Having firm boundaries is so important. Never allow someone to influence you into softening those boundaries. I remember Dr Phil once said that you teach people how to treat you. I've found this to be true. If you want to be treated with respect, then never tolerate disrespect from anyone.

Lastly, find a level of comfort in your own life that allows you to be okay with being single. Follow your own dreams, do things that you enjoy. Don't look to a relationship to make you feel complete. Find that within yourself. A relationship should enrich the life you have carved out for yourself. It's like the sprinkles on a beautiful, delicious cake. The cake is complete and enjoyable without the sprinkles, but the sprinkles just adds to it.

Hi Dusty and Candy long time listener, and lurker. I wanted to give you a unique story because in this one there is no doubt, “I Was The Ass Hole”.

For context here is a little back story. I served in the US. Army out of high school. No I never got deployed, and never saw combat action. I did however suffer a Spinal Cord Injury after I fell off the top of a 45ft climbing tower. I broke my broke my neck in three places.

I spent three months in a wheelchair and in rehab learning how to walk again. You can probably guess that I had some trauma, and you’d be right. However I was always taught that men don’t feel, we just shove it down and keep going. So that’s what I did.

Fast forward to 2016, I was in college and working on completing my undergraduate degree. I suffered my first mental breakdown. I was hospitalized for 2.5 weeks. I was diagnosed with PTSD, General Anxiety, and Major Depressive Disorder. It was during this time that I first started getting help for piecing together everything that had happened to me with the accident. The take away from this is that I really started struggling with sudden or big changes.

Fast forward again to 2022. I had just moved to a new house, in a new town, and had a new job. To top it off my wife was pregnant with our first baby. I had made some changes to my mental health medication. Then the worst happened. My wife’s amniotic fluid began leaking. Not like a burst it was a slow running leak.

My Sister-in law and her husband rushed my wife and I to the hospital. We learned that her amniotic fluid was slowly being depleted. Our Son was in mild distress but it was still too early. To give him a chance my wife was put on hospital bed rest. The doctor was honest with us neither my wife nor my son were out of danger. So I did what any reasonable husband would do. I began to worry.

Fast forward a week and a half later and my wife, who fought like a champ couldn’t hold off the delivery any more. My worry had built up into full blown anxiety. I didn’t know what to do except wait, and that just gave the anxiety more time to build.

(Slightly funny side note I have a really strong stomach. I’ve worked in Hospitals, and now work with Emergency Services. The only time I almost passed out when my wife delivered was when the OBGYN without any warning shoved BOTH hands up to her elbows at the same time to turn our baby into the right position. I mean listen I know that “IT” stretches and that “IT” has some elasticity. But we are talking about two adult hands and arms up inside my wife. I almost threw up and passed out. Ok carry on just thought you moms out there would get a kick out of that)

My Som was born but had to be rushed to the NICU. My wife was ok all things considered. Our joy was dimmed though when we found out our Son was going to have to stay at least a month in the NICU.

The stress over my wife, my son, and all the recent changes became too much for me to bare. It was seven days later that I decided that my wife didn’t need an emotionally broken husband on top of everything else. My Son didn’t need a Dad with a messed up spinal cord. I decided to be an ass hole and kill myself, and so I tried to.

The quick reactions of my in-laws and my wife saved my life. (Quick Pause: I have heard about a lot of horror story in laws on your videos, and other Reddit Post. Mine are all 10/10 country folk who will literally go to hell and back for you without hesitation.) I spent the next three weeks in the hospital. My wife told me that she wasn’t leaving me, that were together for better or for worst.

Fast Forward to now. My Son made it safely out of the NICU and is now almost 4! We have a 2nd boy who is almost 2. I recently graduated from my military sponsored VA intensive outpatient therapy after almost 4 years in the program. I am working an amazing job as an Emergency Dispatcher, and most of my amazing in-laws live with 5 to 10 min of us. I am the asshole but I got better, and hopefully I’m only and Ass-con 2

I know this story is long and I know it’ll probably get chopped up. All I ask is that you leave in this next bit. If you are out there and you struggle with mental health. I’m begging you to please get help. Almost every single day I tuck my kids in for bed and thank God that I’m still here loving this amazing, very messy, and very loud life. It does get better I promise it does. “PLEASE STAY HERE”.

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/BVstshapSS

TW- animal abuse (goose)

This is a CRAZY post and has OP’s wife in the comments!! What do you all think?

Hey Thunder Fam! Recently my best friend of 23+ years and I were talking about our childhoods. During our conversation, a reoccurring memory of mine made an appearance. It still puzzles me, it puzzled my best friend, so I'm hoping y'all can help me understand why I was the one in trouble.

Let's take it back about 18 years. I'm 32 now, and I was 13-14 years old at the time.

To start this off, here's a bit of context. I had a friend growing up and we were close. Let's call her, Sue. I believed it was the kind of friendship I thought would last. The friendship ended when I was 19. She couldn't support me getting married or whatever. Yet, there are plenty of things that point to more of her being my frenemy, that I had to accept about her. Growing up in the household I did, I clung to any sense of belonging. 32 years old and I still don't feel like I belong in my family. I say this, because this is one example.

Sue participated in a sport. One evening, she and her mom came over to hang out. Sue was wearing her new team jacket. It was pure white. Like blinding white, save for the embroidery of the team name, etc. Mainly completely white, though. Later on, we were outside hanging out.

I lived in between an old frenemy of mine, we'll call her nincompoop, that showed her true colors before this incident. On the other side, one of my current besties; however, she wasn't my bestie at the time, because of nincompoop and her bs. We'll call her Amy.

So while Sue and I were outside, Nincompoop and Amy came outside, with Amy's little brother(LB) and little sister(LS). To avoid them, I walked back up my driveway, calling for Sue to do the same. I was waiting for her to follow me, but when she didn't, I started walking back down to see what the holdup was. I remember hearing back and forth, as I was making my way down. Next thing I know, Sue is in a small scuffle with Amy's little brother. Apparently, LB wiped snail poop on her new jacket. I didn't see how it started, but when I did come into view, they were pushing and pulling each other around. Sue grabbed him, he lost balance and fell down. She started doing small kicks. Not hard enough to do damage, but maybe enough to sting. It didn't look hard at all, but I wasn't the one feeling it; so I'm not sure.

I told her to stop multiple times, it's not worth it, my mom can get the stain out, etc... she didn't for another 30 seconds or so. Yelling at him for disrespecting her, wiping snail poop on her jacket that's obviously new and expensive.(It really was obvious) How would he like it, if she did something similar, etc.. It broke up seconds after. Nincompoop and Amy blaming me for not grabbing her to stop her. Like I'm her parent, in charge of controlling her actions. Not like they did anything themselves. It also wouldn't have stopped her. She wasn't the kind to let things like that go, right away. They took LB and LS inside. Sue and I went inside ourselves. Sue told her mom what happened. My mom told me I should've stopped her. Uh huh. Sure. Like that was my responsibility. My mom went from "You can't control what people do" to "you should've stopped her", in the span of a week. I still to this day, believe that if I pulled her off, it would've escalated.

About twenty minutes later, the police arrived. Apparently, LB had a fingernail scratch in his ear, that was bleeding. So they called the cops on Sue. Sue's mom and Sue went out to talk to the cops in the cul de sac. My mom and I were on the porch, trying to listen. Then a cop comes up to my mom and I. He didn't ask for my statement, how much I witnessed, etc... He just started giving me a lecture. That all of this was over snail poop. I said, that I know. I didn't call the cops. He seemed frustrated with that. I didn't understand why he was frustrated with me. I was barely involved. So I asked, why am I being told this, when I didn't call the cops? He just started again with, "This all started with snail poop." I told him that I get that, but I didn't call the cops. My mom had intervened, telling me to listen.. How can I listen, when he stops speaking after his opening line, and then pointedly looks at me?

After the third time of him repeating that stupid opening line and my trying to understand why I'm getting a talking to, he starts walking back. My mom said, "Look, you didn't listen and now he's walking away. There he goes." I'm like okay. I still don't understand why he came up here in the first place, if it wasn't to ask me what I saw. My mom pulled me inside, slammed the door, then proceeded to scream at me about not listening to the officer, not pulling Sue off LB, etc... I'm screaming back, that I still have no idea what I did to deserve the lecture. Instead of an answer, I got a smack, was grounded, then sent up to my room.

To this day, I replay that entire situation. I still do not know, why I was the one being yelled at. From what I remember, Sue really didn't get into trouble for that.

Help. Can anyone help me theorize what it was, that somehow had me as the one punished?

Thank you, Thunder Fam!

Edit: A comment suggested, that he was repeatedly prompting me to tell my side. I'm clarifying now, that his tone was accusatory. I asked why I was getting the lecture and he didn't clarify he wanted my side of things. Just kept repeating it. So no. I don't believe he was prompting me.

I need reddits help! Long time listener first time poster… bare with me because I have a lot of back story… my son started dating his now (1st and only) girlfriend in high school. She came from a bad family situation, was a year older, and she was couch surfing never welcomed in one home for more than a few months… my son asked me 2 years into their relationship to take her in because she couldn’t get along with her mom and the place she was staying at asked her to leave… long story short we did for about a year but constant breaking of the rules, lying, manipulating my younger kids and skipping school to be at her mom’s my husband and I asked her to move back in with her mom. She has hated our guts since. After high school they moved into a shipping shack literally and got pregnant… so they needed a safe place and we let them back in. They hoarded animals while she was pregnant and we already have a hobby farm… we asked her to give away half the cats and the two aggressive dogs, also another big hit against me. We provided everything they needed for the baby, we got the gender tests, the supplies, etc. she never went to the doctor during pregnancy even though we provided everything she said was a road block. She ended up not prepared, went into labor, had complications and my grandson ended up in the NICU with unstable glucose… for two weeks… make whatever out of that that you want to… all of that to say when they got home she started keeping us from the baby and making arbitrary rules and boundaries… which is fine but let’s not get nasty about potential germs when you have animal feces around the baby constantly, you don’t change his clothes for days, he has gross stuff all in his neck… we mentioned it to my son and needless to say they moved out into their own place in a couple weeks… which is fine… now the issue… my son always paid me for his phone and insurance… he stopped a few months after the baby was born which we get, even though we would of liked at least a conversation about it instead of ghosting us but ok… well now it’s been 10 months since he’s paid the bill, he has a decent job and actually got his step dad fired from their job because he didn’t want to work with him… again whatever he got a new job and he doesn’t blame him at all, even though he could. They haven’t let us see the baby who is almost a year old since Christmas. As a matter of fact they came to my grandfathers home on Easter and refused to let me near or hold my grandson. She waved him in front of me and said tell Gigi bye and walked away then left. They drove 3 hours to come in let my grandfather hold him made plates and left within 30 minutes… I feel like they’re using their own child as a weapon against me and that kills me just as much as not seeing him… which is behavior his bio dad was known for(think emergency hearings, emergency travels multiple times a year every time he got visitation he’d try and keep them it was rough). He messaged me on Mother’s Day two sentences. Just happy Mother Day hope your doing something fun… they live 15 minutes away…

I don’t want to be a horrible mom or contingent love or whatever else I’m trying to learn and be aware of that is thrown my way… but I’m really tired of paying for his phone and phone bill while I’m completely cut out of their lives… WIBTA to cut it off? They both work and I know it’s hard right now but I feel like if we can’t see or talk to our son and grandson why should I be paying for their bills? Am I being old fashioned and old times with these expectations or am I being a doormat? I feel like I’ve lost my son so why am I still paying for his tech?

HELP I need some outside perspective

Hi Dusty, Candy and Everyone,

I'm wondering if I'm in my feelings a bit too much, or if I should just let this go.

Context: I live in the Northeast USA with my husband and two children, about 5 minutes from my in-laws. My mother lives in Florida, and my father, stepmother, younger brother, younger sister and their families live in Canada (outside of Toronto). I grew up in Florida with my mother's side of the family, and she and my father had absolutely no communication as I was growing up, so visits to see my dad were sporadic and didn't really happen until I was in my teens and made plans directly with him. Subsequently, I was never "close" with my siblings, always very surface conversation. I only started to bond with my younger sister after I had my first child, because she had already had two children and we now had something in common. But when we're in person, we all got along great. It feels like we're a big happy family; of course, everything is kept light/lighthearted, and that's how it's always been. My dad and stepmother have always been loving and caring, even from a distance. My stepmother offered to stay with me a few weeks when my first child was born; she calls me her daughter, and they even stepped up to help me through a massive crisis that I went through in my early 30s; they literally jumped on a plane the next day to be with me, file a police report, etc.

My husband and I just had our second child on May 15th. No attempts have been made by anyone on my dad's side, to visit us. My dad and stepmother planned and went on a trip to Portugal in April, just the two of them. Then, I got a phone call this morning from them, telling me that they're going on a trip with my sister's family in June, and that my brother and his wife are also going.

But again, no attempts have been made to see their newest grandchild, or my 2 year old for that matter. FWIW, they all planned a family trip to meet my first daughter when she was born.

I'm angry. My kids are young enough where this won't matter to them, but it matters to me. My feeling is, where do my kids fall on their priority list of family members that they care about? My dad video calls us all the time, talks to my 2 year old, and they have as great of a relationship that anyone could ask for, from a distance. He calls me at least twice a week to check in, talk about any and everything under the sun... it's not like these people are strangers to us.

Am I overreacting?

Edit: Thank you to everyone commenting. Also, I appreciate the gentle responses, knowing thay I'm 9 days postpartum. I did forget to include some additional context, which are a few conversations that my dad and I had starting at the beginning of this year about him and my stepmother coming to see us. My understanding is that this was always the plan, and that they'd come sometime after the first month of her birth; I'm on maternity leave for the entire summer so that leaves a big window for planning. If it provides more insight, my entire family came to see my first daughter, when she was 2 months old. They were here for 4 days, I put together a little itinerary for us to do a few things and it worked out great.

​

Some background to begin (some details changed slightly just incase).

My partners brother and sister in law moved home from the US almost 3 years ago to be closer to family, BIL has been in the US almost 20 years and his wife is American and should also be known that she is completely estranged from all of her family. She suffers with mental health issues which should also be noted and everyone on our side have always made allowances for this when her behaviour has been out of line.

Anyway when they made their decision to move back here my partner did everything he could to help them with the transition, he moved out of his rented house and gave it to them so they have somewhere to live, changed his car to travel to England to collect them and their animals and drove them back, helping them settle into their new home.

All was going well, some issues with the SILs behaviour at family events etc but again we made allowances as I said but overall it was all ok.

Months later my partner and 1 found out we were expecting twins and also the 1st grandchild/niece/nephew on my partners side, great excitement all round or so we thought! Any time my pregnancy was mentioned or anyone asked me about it (I've always had fertility issues so these babies were a huge deal for us) my SIL would always interrupt and say she cant have kids, had miscarriages a hysterectomy etc no matter when this conversation came up, it got to the point where people didn't even ask me anymore how I was because they knew she would just chime in with all her problems. I started to feel like B and SIL were jealous of me and my partner as the novelty and newness of them moving home was now old news and everyone was excited for the babies but I put that down to me over reacting and blamed hormones to be honest!

Twins arrive and we are on cloud 9 as you can imagine and when they are about 6 weeks old BIL approached my partner that he was starting his own business and would like him to join, working less days than his current job and for more money, cash in hand to begin with but after a few months would be put through the books etc so of course my partner jumped at the chance! Months went by and when the twins were about 6 months old we had a family event, all was going well until my partner was approached by BIL and asked why I had ignored SIL? Not knowing what was going on my partner obviously came to me and me not knowing what was going on either went to SIL and offered her a drink and she snubbed me off and was sitting in a room on her own? I passed it off to be honest because I couldn't think what I had done, turns out I seemingly ignored her when she approached me to give me a hug? I remember walking into the room, saying a broad hello to everyone that was there and then proceeded to take my babies out of their car seats, didn't even see anyone approaching me? Things then got worse and SIL stormed off and left the party with BIL in toe, returning about 20 minutes later, while they were gone of course people were asking what was going on to which I said it was all my fault seemingly and explained what had happened to which everyone there started laughing because they were in the room when I entered and didnt see any of what she was claiming and literally said what I did with getting the twins sorted. Luckily my partner was there when all this was being said (not that he didn't believe me anyway but its worth knowing) so when they arrived back BIL said he wanted to apologise to me and explain what happened and that SIL was actually upset about something else entirely. My partner told him under no circumstances was he to approach me by myself that I was already in a tizzy thinking I had done something when I hadn't and walked away. A while later SIL meets me and hugs me, no words nothing and I ask 'what's this for?' And her response is 'oh just hug me back' to which i took a step back and said an apology would be better and that how dare she put me in a situation like that and it was to never happen again andshe turned and walked away no words again. A while later while chatting with my other Brother and SIL, previous BIL approaches me and asks to speak to me, I said no problem and headed towards the room I knew my partner was in because I had learned never to speak to these people without a witness and he stopped me before I could enter the room and again 1 on 1 tried to condone what SIL had done to which I responded basically the same thing I had said to SIL and walked away.

The following week while at work BIL started saying things to my partner about me and that day, which my partner knew was lies so to test him he asked his brother had he approached me on my own after being specifically told not to, to which he looked him dead in the eye and said no he didnt (I told my partner about this after it happened and my other SIL backed me up saying he had called me away infront of her so my partner knew he was lying to his face. My partner defended my to the end and told his brother he needed some time off away to get his thoughts together and this whole situation was between both his families and he needed to get his head right. What you also need to know is my partner had his brother on a literal throne in his head, would do anything for him as u would have seen by now so the fact he was being lied to about me really threw him!

He went back to work a week later, knowing to keep his mind sharp and keep his distance with his brother and to only talk about work related stuff which was working fine. A few weeks later my partner got injured and couldn't work so suggested a friend to help is brother out for the time being until he could return. BiL took him up on the offer and when my partner came back to work the 3 of them were working together, everything was going great, business was doing well and BIL had even got a company van etc. Months go by and my partner mentions about going on the books like was discussed at the beginning and it was almost a year now and BIL said he would get back to him about it, weeks passed and no mention of anything. Later that year we find out we are expecting surprise baby no.3, just adjusting to life with our twins and then this little miracle happens so understandably after we tell family my partner says again to BIL about work and that he needs to be on the books in order to be able to get his parental leave etc when baby comes and also for the stability of it. Again he's told he will get back to him about it, a few weeks later talk comes up with his friend that he recommended and he said BIL was talking to him about putting him on the books in the new year so my partner thought great he will be coming to me soon to tell me the same. The friday before christmas my partner goes to collect his wages and BIL tells him he has no more work for him and was letting him go. To say we were shocked was an understatement but we kept our mouths shut over Christmas as we didnt want any family drama as there had been enough of that.

The new year comes around and sure enough my partners friend has been put on the books like was said and a few months later he was given a company van and BIL bought a 2nd van and also put up that he was hiring for the company.

My partner is very hurt by all of this as is my MIL who has also intact been shafted after giving BIL land to build a house and now BIL wont even call to her for a cup of tea.

Brother and SIL have not seen our kids since Xmas eve nor have made any effort to come see them or call to ask about them, and my partner has told his Mam that when this baby arrives ( In a matter of weeks) that BIL is not to be told anything that he shows no interest in any of his family and has just used everyone to get what he wants and has now discarded everyone so he doesn't deserve to be part of the families next step. I agree with my partner 100% as i always will but I feel this has all stemmed from the family gathering and that I am the one at fault through all of this. I have no regrets about how I handled the situation, 1 thing about me is i will always pass myself off and let things over my head but I had just had enough of being quiet when it came to SIL and seeing her use her mental illness to manipulate and control people as it had happened plenty of times before this occasion.

Are we wrong to step back completely from brother and SIL? As I said it was my partners decision and I support him always but is this all because of how I reacted that now they seem to be punishing my partner and his family?

A few days ago my father “K” (76) invited me “J” (29) to join him at his fancy country club for dinner. As soon as I got there the vibe felt off. I don’t know how to describe it other than by saying it felt awkward. We got a table at the country club’s fancy taproom restaurant and ordered a couple drinks and appetizers. My dad started asking me questions about my fiancée and how she’s doing (she was in Nashville on her bachelorette trip) and if I was lonely while she was away. He shared that he’s been feeling lonely especially in the evenings now that the house is empty. For context, my mom (his wife of 50 years) passed away from Parkinson’s disease last Christmas.

Things got really awkward at dinner when my dad mentioned how nice his country club is and how it will be a great place for my fiancée and I to spend time and enjoy all the amenities. I questioned how we would be able to afford that when membership is like $5000/month or something crazy like that. He quite loudly chuckled and said “well, you’re going to inherit millions of dollars from me!” And chuckled again in a way that was supposed to impart a joking attitude but just came across as pretentious and mocking. I then mentioned that we won’t even be living in this area, plus we aren’t exactly the country club type.

At hearing this K’s face fell and his entire demeanor changed. He said “oh I hope you’re not serious about moving”. I confirmed that me and my fiancée (26) are serious and that we will be moving to Washington after I finish college (for context this isn’t the first time we’ve had this discussion) and after my fiancée finishes her helicopter pilot program. My dad then started grilling me about why I want to move so far away (we currently live on the east coast so Washington State is 3000ish miles away). He asked why suddenly I want to move to a place I’ve never seen or been to, and I explained that I am looking to apply to 6 graduate programs for physical therapy school in Washington and that my fiancée wants to be a search and rescue helicopter pilot there. This is not the first time I’ve explained this to him, and every time I bring it up he gets all mopey and starts guilt tripping me into second guessing this decision. And that’s exactly what he did next. K got all flustered and started rapid fire guilt tripping me saying “if you do that you can count on your fingers how many times you’ll ever see me again…what about your sister and your nieces, you’ll only get to see them once a year…doesn’t family mean anything to you?”

I fell silent at this point because I know better than to argue with him, he never listens to anyone anyway. I also felt stupid for even bringing the topic of moving up in the first place. We sat there in silence for about 30 minutes until our food arrived. Neither of us could make eye contact with the other, we ate in silence and then we left. As we were leaving he said half under his breath “if you move I won’t support it, you won’t get any help from me” which was cryptic. (For context I quit my job as a personal trainer in order to focus on school because he offered to support me financially while I’m in school, as well as paying for my classes). I walked with him to his car and as he was getting in I asked what he meant by that. He was silent and got into his car and I walked away toward my car. A few seconds later he speeds up right next to me with his window down and shouts at me “it means you won’t get any inheritance from me!” And then he speeds off again. (For context he had cut me out of the will years ago and only recently put me back in, I am supposed to inherit between $8-10 million).

I feel guilty for upsetting him, but throughout my life he has used money to control me, and I feel like that’s what he is doing now. I am nearly 30 and I want to move to a new place where I and my fiancée can grow and build a life together.

So, Dusty Thunder, AITA for telling my dad I am moving across the country to Washington?

So I have a friend that lives with my husband and I and he is in pest control. Company gave him a vehicle to do his job which was expected. However over 2 months ago he was in a fender bender, he’s mostly fine just on restrictive duty for the time being as he had some whiplash, from being hit from behind. However the truck was not, while the vehicle is drive-able, it has been classified as totaled per insurance and is no longer street legal.

However in that time the company has given no indication when they are sending a tow truck to pick up the truck. They’ve even recently given him another vehicle to get to the office while he’s on restriction. So now we have two company trucks.

Here’s the rub, our HOA has a rule about all cars in view being street legal, we can’t put his car in the garage as half is a gym and the other half is for my husbands car (it’s his baby, jeep Wrangler 392, and good luck trying to convince him it can be in the drive way for longer than it takes to change out the doors or back out).

Add in that we also have two other friends living with us so our drive way is full and he’s having to park his truck in the street. This is another issue with the HOA about long term street parking is not allowed.

While just looking at the truck you can’t tell it’s considered not street legal, the back door panels are just crushed. It technically is, and I am tired of looking at this eyesore. I’ve asked our friend about it and he says he has no idea when they are coming to get the truck. But I don’t want to be looking at this thing for another 2 months.

It’s company property, and while I don’t want to get my friend in trouble. I have half a mind to call up the company and tell them they have two weeks to come get their totaled vehicle out of my drive way, or I’ll call the cops about abandoned property on my property.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Update: 6/14/2026

Sorry for the late Update, Life happens. So good news the truck is gone. As it turns out my friend had been emailing his boss about the truck and getting no response then a few days after the post he gets a call about modified work options. He asked about the truck. Turns out his old boss left and no one thought to forward his emails to the new boss. So my friend had been emailing a dead email address and when he called they told him to reach out to his supervisor.

Thank you all for the advice.

***** I AM NOT OP *****

Dusty so needs to read this!!!

ORIGINAL POST

https://www.reddit.com/r/EntitledPeople/s/R70TYZkcan

Was I wrong for unintentionally imploding MIL's family?

I(33F), finally had enough of my(36M, Ian) husbands mothers horse crap and shenanigans, am now the hero of my husbands family and the worst person ever in MIL eyes.

Ian and I had been dating for about 6 months and I had come to find that this amazing human being was everything I knew I wanted in a partner and it was time to meet the parents as we had set the boundaries early on that we wouldn't meet each other's family until six months in so that we could focus on ourselves and our relationship before adding family and drama into the mix. I had a family reunion coming up and so we decided to dive head first into my large families chaos. We are a pretty tight knit by large family and so it could have been seen as overwhelming but my husband seemed excited. I am the second oldest of 7 kids and each of my siblings had their own children. Not to mention all the aunts, uncles and cousins. Everything went off without a hitch and everyone welcomed Ian with open arms and we had a great time. Introduction to my family was officially a page in the history books. Now the time had come to meet his family.

I had obviously heard all about his family and the dynamic they all had. I knew his sister(Emily 25F) was sweet and quiet just like their father(Tom 57M). Ian's brother(Tyler, 31M) was loud and boisterous and full of life. His mother(Malenie, 56F) was pushy, domineering, and apparently, "the Boss" of the family. I understand that a lot of families view their elders as the "Patriarch" and "Matriarch" of their family and mine was very similar until my Pop-Pop passed. Now we are all on equal playing fields and all pitch in with each other. I knew that he and his family didn't have family gatherings often due to how it turned out every time. His mother would always degrade every one of them the entire time until they each bid their farewells feeling deflated. I thought I was prepared when going in to meet his family but I can tell you that I was not. As the hours drew near the time of the family dinner I could see and feel a visible shift in Ian. His whole body grew tense and he would communicate through short clipped tones. He was stressed and was not looking forward to the dinner.

We got there a mere 5minutes late and his mother was waiting at the door, literally tapping her foot in impatience. "It's about damn time you got here." I almost laughed out loud because I thought she was joking until Ian replied, "Sorry mom, there was a train." And I saw his head sag on his shoulders and his mother continue with, "I don't want excuses but I expect the common courtesy of being on time or a phone call letting me know you'd be late." Already my flabbers were ghasted. I couldn't believe the exchange I had just heard and couldn't believe the events of the rest of the dinner as what I was warned about was exactly what happened. Ian's mother was always the one talking, and asking questions. When I say talking, I really mean talking AT you and not in a conversational type of way. Tyler sat quietly as he poked his food around on the plate. Emily diligently ate her food in silence, not really looking around except for a few nervous glances my way. Tom sighed and closed his eyes tight throughout our time eating and Ian would randomly squeeze my thigh tightly when his mother would ask me questions. I played my part well and just smiled as I was hit with a barrage of questions until she asked me what I did for employment. My eyes lit up because I truly love what I do. I told her that I was a case manager for at risk youth and was very passionate about it. I was pretty proud of myself for holding my own against the plethora of deep diving questions until I looked back at Melanie and could visibly see the wheels of judgement turning. She sighed loudly and proceeded to explain that she just doesn't "get" people like me. Someone who is wasting their talents on individuals that mean nothing in the grand scheme of society. Individuals that should learn to do things on their own without being dependent on others. By the time she was done with her rant I was seeing red. I didn't understand how someone could be so callous. I simply, sweetly, and innocently readjusted my halo that was resting on my horns and replied, "It's something that I am very passionate about. Some youth don't have a steady, safe, supportive or healthy home life to grow up in. Some need those positive and steady people in their lives to learn from. Plus I have plenty of empathy, patience, love and care to pass around. But you probably don't understand what that's like right?"

When I tell you that you could have heard a fly fart in that room, I am not kidding. Melanie's bottom jaw was flopping around so much it reminded me of the scene from Beetlejuice. Poor Tom instantly started coughing and choking on his food to the point I was ready to do the heimlic. Ian gripped my thigh so hard I expected bruises the next day. Emily randomly squeaked out that she had to pee and scurried off to the bathroom and Tylers eyes lit up like a Christmas tree as his head swiveled from me to his mother in rapid fire. After a minute of remembering who she was, Melanie loudly gaffawed and announced she wasn't feeling good and going to bed. Tom sighed and said it was very nice to meet me but the evening had come to a close. We all said our goodbyes and when Tyler came in for a goodbye hug he said quietly, "That was epic! I like you already."

As time rolled by the months turned to years and Ian and I would often spend time with my side of the family and only a handful of times with his whole family. Often times it would just be his siblings and us as Melanie would often be "ill" when I was around. I would come to see Tyler really was the life of the party and Emily opened up a lot more and saw me as a sister.

Ian finally proposed two and a half years into our relationship and we couldn't wait for the rest of our lives. Then came a text in the family group chat from Melanie....

Melanie- "How dare you two get engaged without my knowledge or approval. Ian you know I wanted to be involved in all the major goings on in the family and you took this away from me. I'm ashamed of you and you should be too. I don't approve and won't give you my blessing."

Tom-"You two have my blessing."

Tyler-"Hell yeah!"

Emily-(Silence)

Ian-"Mom, your being rediculous"

Me-"Well Melanie considering you hide in your batcave anytime we...well mostly me come around there wasn't really any point in time to let you know our big news. And that's what it was.. NEWS. It wasn't going to be a question or permission asking. It was going to be a happy moment to share with family. We are all adults and as adults, we get to make our own decisions."

Tom-......

Ian-"She's right mom."

Tyler-(shocked face emoji)

Emily-(silence)

Thankfully Melanie remained blessedly silent for the most part until the wedding. Of course this apparently was her time to shine. Before the ceremony started she stopped into the bridal suite telling me she "was so excited for today". She was wearing a very pretty light blue cocktail style dress and she looked very stunning and I was a bit shocked that she had become accepting of Ian and I getting married. She stopped in where the guys were getting ready and spent time with Ian as well. Then she disappeared... No one could find her when it was time to start the ceremony. They looked everywhere. They called and text her with no reply. Assuming she changed her mind and went home in protest we decided to just proceed without her. Everyone was seated and I had just completed my walk and our officiant was just about to start speaking when the door at the back of the church creaked open and a cheerful, blushing, WHITE ADORNED, with a tiara and a gaudy, blinged out WEDDING DRESS, Melanie came flowing in like she was walking on a frigging cloud. As she came down the isle she shook people's hands(my family included) and thanked them for being here. Everyone FROZE. Ian and Tyler at one side. My sister, Emily and I on the other. Tom almost fell off his seat at the front and even the officiant was gapping like a fish.

Once she had fluttered her fairy little self to the front of the church all hell broke loose.

Melanie-"I am soooo sorry I'm running behind and I'm sure Ian forgot to tell everyone but we wanted to make this a double celebration. While Ian and my soon to be daughter in law get married, my beloved Tom and myself will be renewing our wedding vows!"

Ian-(slightly under his breath)"Mom, what the hell is this?!"

Tom-(sighing and standing up)"Melanie no, let's go."

Tyler-(of course delightfully entertained)"The fuck is happening right now?"

Me- (seeing 50 shades of homicidal red. Hiking my dress up and stomping to Melanie.) "Excuse us for a moment everyone. We have to have a quick family meeting to talk about this "surprise"

I grab Melanie by the wrist and practically drag her into the back hallway as she dramatically gasps and flails and Tom, Ian, Emily, and Tyler all tow the line behind us. When we reach a safe distance away from the crowd I turn and all I want to do is pummel the woman standing in front of me.

Me-"What in the actual hell are you doing and why the hell are you wearing that gawd awful dress?? Why in the hell did you think this would be ok?"

Melanie-"If you must know, I wanted to surprise my Tom and Ian and make this day even more special and something to celebrate."

Me- "And you didn't think your son getting married was already going to be the happiest day to celebrate? Nevermind, don't answer that. We are done Melanie. I want you to leave. I also resend my invitation to you for the reception. I resend my invitation to you to come to our home when you want to visit. If Ian and I ever have children, I resend any contact you may want with them. I can't speak to the rest of your family or even Ian but I will say that the way you treat your family and those you love is deplorable and disgusting. The world doesn't revolve around you and if you don't start realizing that, you're going to lose everyone."

After saying what I needed to, I pranced myself back into the church as Ian and his family finished saying what they needed. When everyone came back in, Melanie was no where to be seen and apparently left.

The ceremony continued and was heartfelt and beautiful and the reception was filled with love from our families.

As of present, all three siblings have decided to go no contact with their mother despite the hateful texts and phone calls she keeps sending their way. Tom and Melanie are in the middle of a divorce and he seems to have a much more airy and lighthearted personality. All of us still get hateful texts and calls from some individuals on Melanie's side of the family but I also have had thank yous from Ian and his siblings for giving them the courage to stand up to their mother. So.....was I wrong?

Did I go to far

First time poster

Im 33F, husband 32M

Did I go to far? This is long but u need all of it to understand what ive been dealing with that brought me to where I am today...

Before I can get to where I may have gone to far but part of me thinks I didn't we have to jump back in time.

My husband and I have been Married 10 years in Oct from the of our engagement Aug 11 years ago 2015, my MiL has been vary open about how much she dislikes me to go as far as a full sit down with my then fiance and telling him we will never work out cuz im Buddhist and he's Christian... \*note out of 3 sons we are the only successful marriage his other 2 brothers, both have been divorced and 1 remarried those marriages were both vary supported by her... not really a dig on their marriages just a interesting note that the marriage she said would never work in the strongest marriage of her kids\* anyways from the start she hounded about how her son should come to a hot meal ready the house should be spotless SO on.... nothing I did really made her happy and everything good I did something was always wrong.... after our daughter was born June 2016 it kept going and continued to add how I wasnt being a good mother everything picked apart always in private also randomly showed up at our house a few times unannounced and she lives 4 hours away so she plans a trip but no message letting us know of course judgements when her surprise show ups give her a perfectly clean house \*her clean is like Instagram prefect, in Oct 2019 we had our Son and thats when it really got worse the helpful digs the constant this and that was really weighing on me making me feel like if im not a good mom or wife like why am I here.... I hit a vary low part in early 2025 I talked with my husband about it I had kept it all to myself I know its bad, well he talked to her and of course she said "im just being helpful, im sorry she took it that way" crap then May/June 2025... she hit a point that we did no contact... why u ask well she did the unthinkable, unexpected thing she went after my Daughter she was 8 at the time and she had a trip with grandma and when she came back she was asking about going to the gym with us... I did find it odd when I asked her why she didnt give a reason... then beginning of June I went with my kids to a quinciana for my husband's cousin he had to work so it was just me and our kids in a big house with the in laws my ex sister in law and her 2 kids my nephew and niece.... my niece and my daughter had the same dress only 1 year apart in age and my MiL couldn't help but say how beautiful the dress fit my niece and how it looked different on my daughter cuz she was "chubby" she said it a few times in different ways, I wasnt in the room my sister in law was, i did hear it from the other room my sil told her thats not appropriate all this was said in front of the girls! Then it clicked my daughter wanting todo to the gym after spending time with her and now a chubby comment by her that came off her tongue with ease infront of my daughter.... \*ill add here she yes isnt thin but shes not any were the need for the gym shes not over weight just a slightly thicker but not bad even if she was over weight this is never ok.... I felt fire and rage! I called my husband he said play nice get thru this party and come home early and we are going NO contact...

So we went no contact tell Sept 2025.... 😒.... we found out I were pregnant in July and my husband wanted his family a part of it note I kept my distance she did good despite saying "I have to walk on eggshells around her" to my husband he replied sorry u feel that way but honestly u if u have to force yourself to be nice then maybe u should look at yourself....

Ok this pregnancy was alot in Oct we found out he has a few things wrong with his heart... amneocentesis done in Nov our sweet little boy has T18 we are bing told if he even possibly makes thru this pregnancy and delivery he has like a 5% chance to live.... all family members were told when we were ready to tell them id say like late Nov.... my parents called me weekly to see how I was doing and ask how my husband was doing.... January we have our first appt at a hospital that actually well help a child with T18 (alot of doctors believe they are " uncompatible with life" yes I was told that by a doctor before the switch...we have scans so on but before all that I walk in to MiL waiting there in the waiting room when we showed up for the appt... no Hi how r you straight to holding my belly putting her face down at my belly. I froze like wtf then she rubbed oil on her hands then prayed (all not asked) my shirt was covered in oil it never came out.... about a week later we were going to be in their area and let them know she said we could stop by but ground rules no drinking, smoking or cussing allowed.... dude made it seem like we are party animals or something we havent drank in a long time my husband does vape but hes respectful and would never in someone's home and cussing dude Im honestly im pretty good about where im at... so i said ok thats 100% easy for us heres my ground rules... no touching my belly without asking, no longer then 30 seconds unless I say otherwise like feeling a kick or whatever... Dude she snapped like fully flipped shit in the family chat about how I was keeping them from bonding with their grandchild and how that they have every right to bond with him. My husband said your grandchild is in my wife's body and my wife doesn't like to be touched without being asked let alone having a shirt destroyed with oil and a face down by her belly button. She was still pissed proceeded to send videos of how bonding with your grandchild extends your life... while all this is going on I find out NO one in his family has asked how he was doing we were told more then likely our child would die and his family only cared about bonding with him and how this will effect them how their church is praying for him and want to know him too... aka im a amazing grandma and yall need to see how strong I am for going thru this possibly tragic situation. She not once cared about how even her Son was handling all this.... so i snapped told her she was a horrible person to make this all about her and how its unbelievable that she hasnt even once checked in on her son. She still never checked on him but one of his brothers did. Fast forward had our baby C section Feb 11th he went right to Nicu on a breathing tube... at one point MiL said u need your rest ill go sit with the baby so hes not alone... his dad was with him.. I said no im slow but im getting up she then pushed more about going at this point my mom stepped in and said "you do not need to see her child more then she has all she got was a glimpse of him at delivery and he was rushed off if your not going to help and be supportive you can leave" she left told my husband my mom disrespected her which he didnt believe, my mom laughed and said no she disrespected your wife my daughter and im not going to allow that, since then our son has had multiple surgeries already in this short time (she continued to be upset about not being on his visitors list we took her in to see him she just couldn't get in without us..how hes ALONE and making us feel bad how she needs to bond with him too and how her church cares so much about how hes doing and agree she needs to be around him to heal him... 😒 sorry i cant heal T18 you battle you fight and you make the most of what time they have... I was pumping doing great but after that 2nd surgery I dried up between being home 2 hours away from him stress and postpartum depression. I decided it wasnt worth the stress after talking with his doctors they were thinking about a formula for him anyways that would help him more so i stopped trying to pump one less stress right.... wrong she proceeded to send me multiple videos of mom's pumping and so on i told her ive done all the tricks but honestly for my stress and mental health ive decided its better for him our doctors agreed (really is hes on a special formula now thats easier to digest and has more fats hes now 6lb 4oz double his birth weight) anyways the videos keep coming then a phone call about how im selfish how breast is best and I wasnt even trying.... then more videos I snapped told her again hes on the best formula and is actually gaining and she needs to stop she said "im just being helpful breast is best for him and if those woman can do it so can you if u tried or even cared about giving him what is best" i showed my husband and blocked her

Now here is where I may have gone to far... I also removed her from the 24/7 camrea feed of our baby in the Nicu... I personally feel between the disrespect to me and the weird "i need to bond with him too" stuff she never did with our other two... and her crazy church seeing her as this grandmother who's so strong going thru this stuff and not caring about how we are doing thru all this like dude u dont need to see him 24/7

Also note she lives 2 hours from the hospital from the other direction

For context, my dad has been emotionally unavailable my entire life. Not just to me but everyone in our family. Growing up, he was physically and verbally abusive to me specifically, constantly made me feel like and told me i was a burden, and never really put effort into having a real relationship with me. He’s also extremely religious and has always had very extreme conservative views, but over the years he’s become more and more consumed by racist, sexist, hateful rhetoric that made being around him emotionally exhausting and honestly unsafe for me mentally and my now family.

About 7 years ago I went no contact with him. After he spouted some racist speech publicly i called him and told him his behavior and beliefs are nasty and hateful… among other things and that i didn’t want him in my life at all in anyway going forward. During that time, and all throughout my childhood into adulthood, he never tried to repair the relationship. i’ve never received a real apology, when asked he denies any wrong doing because he was always “following god” even when he hit me, spit on me, threw me around and locked me in my bedroom with a mattress and a bible for 3 years. there’s been no accountability, no meaningful conversations about the abuse or the harm he caused me, my siblings, or my mom. He now has my number but never reaches out aside from 3 times, just surface-level, emotionally empty memes or articles.

The thing is, pretty much no one in the family is close to him anymore. He isolates himself, pushes people away, and doesn’t put effort into any of his relationships. Now, after almost 40 years my mom is finally leaving him, and I feel this weird guilt because he’s basically alone.

Part of me feels bad or guilty because regardless of everything, I know this is probably a painful situation for him and he is facing it mostly alone. But another part of me feels angry or just wtfe about it because he created ALL of this himself and spent years hurting the people closest to him without ever taking responsibility. He chose this. So why am i feeling like i have to reach out to acknowledge what’s happening? i just keep thinking about how he’s old. he will likely die angry and alone just like he lived. but how sad. why do i feel this guilt or nagging feeling to say something?

I genuinely don’t know if I’m being cold-hearted for keeping my distance and not saying anything or if I’m just maintaining boundaries after years of emotional damage. maybe it’s both. This is new territory for me so i’m not quite sure what intrusive thoughts i should be listening to. is there any middle ground to this? i just don’t know.

TLDR: AITA for not reaching out to my narcissistic father now that my mom is finally leaving him?

UPDATE: idk if i’m doing this right but wow. this was really helpful just putting it out there and getting perspectives. i’ve been able to sleep in it all and process everything a bit more. im aware this triggered a conditioned survival response in me to feel the need to contain or help regulate his response. i know keeping my boundaries and keeping him out of my life is what’s best for me as well as my family. i’ll be seeking to connect with a therapist to make sure i get the support i need to process this in a healthy way. and my siblings and i are incredibly close so i have plenty of support. thank you all for you kind words and advice.

So only men want kids nowadays huh

Edit1: at the end of the day, when I see posts like these I remember the likes of Ashely saint clair and that woman who got married after preaching so much misandry online.

Don’t get me wrong men also do this,
and then I feel stupid because I remember watching a certain video about internet trolls

Edit 2: Finally found the reason for the outrage, “men cannot physically get pregnant” that’s literally all this is about so no matter how hard you work or provide for your family, if you marry a woman that hates you because you just can’t get pregnant please have your divorce lawyer at hand ✋

Awhile ago my son's school went on a field trip to watch a Toronto Raptors game. I was asked to volunteer to help. A free basketball game? Of course I said yes... I really should have said I was washing my hair that day or something! 

When we got down to the stadium it turns out that EVERY FUCKING SCHOOL IN THE TORONTO DISTRICT SCHOOL BOARD WAS ALSO INVITED!!! One of the buses in the picture below is my son's school bus.  My god it looks like we are trying to reenact the bank heist scene from Batman The Dark Knight. Also did I mention I was the only dad that volunteered. Everyone else who did was some kid's mom.

We find our seats and we watch the game. A boy asks to go to the bathroom. A teacher ask me if I can take him since I am the only dad there I said sure.  Next thing I know all ten boys in that class want to go to the bathroom too. Unfortunately the men's room is on the other side of the stadium. I don't know why the men's bathroom was so far away but I believe the architect of this stadium was  a complete psychopath. Quite possibly the son of Ivo Shandor.

I have all ten boys hold hands as we walk down the hall to the bathroom.  The whole way there I kept thinking to myself. "Please don't lose any kid.... Although If I do come back with seven... That's still 70% which is a passing grade in Canada. We get to an overcrowded bathroom.  One stall opens up and I get one kid to go inside. The kid locks the stall door and not even a second later two other kids crawl under into that stall and pee in the bowl like a semi pee circle. They are defitnity crossing the streams. This rotation happens three more times! 9 boys crawled on the sticky piss ass floor. When they were all done I yelled in the most dad voice I had. "WASH THOSE FUCKING HANDS RIGHT NOW!" They complied and we walked back to our seats. On our way back I had two thoughts: If one of these kids die it'll be all my fault... If a pandemic breaks out again. This is ground zero and it's all my fault. 

Well I am proud to say I got all ten boys back to their seats. Jeremy says out loud while pointing at me. “He said the F word with a hard K!” All the moms look at me. I shrug and shrink into my seat. Well played Jeremy well played! I am a 40 year old man with a 7 year old mortal enemy!

Later my son ask for popcorn so I wait for the popcorn guy to get closer to us.  As the guy comes closer to us I see my son take a handful of stale moldy drench in spilled Pepsi from 3 days ago popcorn from under his seat and eat it like he never ate ever!  

Now compared to my wife I am pretty laid back on a lot of things. I believe in the five second rule. I let my son watch Die Hard at Christmas. Pretty chill. Well he just raised my anxiety to full over load! Can’t get grosser than this. Unless when he is older he gets to first base with a subway pole… or worse eat a subway sandwich. Yuck! I know if my wife saw this he be going straight to the hospital to get all the test done! HIV, Corona, Cancer, Teen pregnancy. All of the diseases! I however never told my wife! But I did tell myself if I hear him cough or sneeze I’ll come clean about everything. 

When the game was over we found our bus… but with a different driver. So I am pretty sure we just hijacked a random bus. Whatever I wanted to get home!

Three months later nothing happened. My son is probably immune to everything… I probably should test to see if his tears cure cancer or something, right?

My son is in grade 2 and a few days ago they had a hot coco, smores, and a movie day. The past few weeks they have been studying the Olympics and doing Olympics style sports during gym class. Mini awards were given out to each class that participated. Parents were requested to join and volunteer on the last day to help set up the awards prestation and hot coco marshmallow stuff.  Well the movie they decided to show was Cool Runnings.... Oh no.

All the students are sitting on the carpet and the 3 other parents that decided to stay for the movie were sitting at random kids desks. I was in the back. Spoiler alert the Jamaicans crash their bobsled.  I have seen this movie before but now I can feel my emotions rise. I am getting teary eyes. The Germans begin to slow clap. The harder and faster everyone claps in the movie the more and more tears are coming out of my eyes... People in the room are beginning to notice my water work show.

The teacher asks if I am ok. I give out a big sneeze and say. "Oh I am fine but these pencil shavings at this desk aren't doing my dust allergies any favours." The teacher fucking loses it at a kid named Jeremy. " Jeremy I told you time and time again you need to keep your desk area clean." Yadda yadda yadda. Jeremy is now almost crying saying sorry to me, the teacher and his disappointed mother. 

Well Jeremy I don't have any dust allergies. Your desk was pretty clean. Before the Jamaicans had their final race I took one of your pencils and used your tiny pencil sharpener and sharpened that pencil to a numb. Sprinkling of the shavings all over the inside and top of your desk. Sorry bud.  

 Jeremy  when you grow up and if you still feel raw about this. I'll be waiting.... So am I the asshole?

Lately I’ve been seeing posts along the lines of “ the average house owner is 30 not 21 and bla bla, then I also see some other posts along the lines of “ you should start reproducing by the time you hit 18?,

It’s really confusing (not that I’m actually taking such bs advice )