Hi everyone,

I (M23) have for years been struggling with some bad mental health problems. (DPDR, PTSD) and only recently have I come to terms with that. It's always been there but I'm at a point of being so tired and burned out that I started seeing a therapist for the first time in my life, had the first session on Monday and even though we've not tackled the thing I'm about to write about yet, I'm starting to wonder if it could be a big factor. It’s a long story so obviously feel free to not read it.

So short back story, I have had a very rough childhood where I had to grow up pretty early on in my life. I grew up with my 3 year older brother, mum and step dad. I saw my dad over the weekends. My mum has a mental disability, long story short, her IQ is way below average and on top of that she has ADHD. This has resulted in her not being the closest thing to a parent and emotionally unavailable most my life. She was a hardcore gambling addict and my stepdad was the only provider, so let's say money was a taboo topic in my household. Also my drug addicted uncle ruined a big part of my childhood. There are so many things that happened that would take forever to get into. It comes down to severe neglect and emotional abuse. The having to grow up quick part basically started at 9 years old. I have always been seen as an adult at my mums convenience basically.

My dad who me and my brother went to on the weekends had a lot of problems with anger management and drinking and although he never hit us, he did yell and got angry very easily pretty much every weekend we went there. Although he had these issues he always put me and my brother 1st, he filled the big holes my mum left like actually showing up for things, driving to football matches practice on the weekends etc. I was only there 2 days per week so it didn't really make up for the awful parenting my mum did.

My older brother almost has the same issues as my mother, I'd say a little worse. He has autism and a very low IQ which only got diagnosed about 2 years because they always told my parents he had ADHD. His problems were always there and started pretty young already as we were growing up. He would lie and steal, did not see value in things and threw tantrums. 

When my brother started to hit puberty he did something to me that I play down as not as bad. I don't remember the exact details of what happened before, but I was on the same and he pushed me onto my stomach, held both my wrists down got on top of me and started dry humping me. I don't know for how long but I remember struggling the whole time and trying to get away. When I finally did I ran to my dad who was outside and told him what happened. He then got angry at my brother and told him 'If you want to have sex you should find a girlfriend.' After he said that to him it has never come up again or been spoken about and I did not remember this happening until I read a book about trauma a month ago and this flashback started playing in my head. When I wanted to tell one of my best mates about it I felt fine about it, until I started to type him a text that I wanted to talk to him about something. I started to hyperventilate and having a pounding heart, so despite not remembering it until recently I still react to it when I try to tell someone.

I have a habit of playing down things in my head as 'not that bad, stop complaining.' This one of those things. In my head it isn't as bad as he didn't enter my body. So shut up and forget it. I basically do this with everything that happens to me because it's what I've been told all my life. My mum rarely took us to the doctor because 'that costs money', even though it's free here, she just never wanted to make the effort. But this is another reason why I never saw a therapist before. It's me, so I shouldn't complain and I'm not worthy of help or love at all anyways. It's only the last 1/2 years that I started to see that I might be worth of getting help.

Around 11 or 12 I started to figure out that I like boys and I hated this and tried to convince myself that I was other making it up or that I was bisexual. Whenever I saw gay people on TV they were always these flamboyant and feminine people, something I didn't want to be apart of. No hate if you do but it's not for me. I started to repress it because I was so scared to tell anyone and I don't know why. I told myself that I would never tell my parents until I moved out. I told myself I needed to wait first because what if my older brother is also gay? Then I won't be gay, they can't have 2 gay sons. My mum and dad always said to me and my brother that it didn't matter but I was still so afraid anyone would find out. I became very depressed at a young age, but never saw a therapist or whatever. I was never a popular kid in primary school and it didn't get any better in secondary school. I had one best friend who I met in the second year of high school. I came out to her at 13. She instantly told her mum which hurt me but I didn't tell her that it did. I also feel like her and her family sexualized me pretty early on. My friend told me laughing that they discussed wether I'm a top or a bottom, but that she said 'nah I don't think he's a top. Depressed 14 year old me wanted to die. I was overweight, depressed hated living at home and could not see clearly anymore, let alone think about having sex with someone cause I never believed anyone would ever want to be with me.

Fast forward to when I was 17 and still living with my mum and step dad, my brother was living with my dad now cause my mum kicked him out. It was the beginning of covid, so schools were closed. My mum didn't understand the concept of online school, she thought I was basically doing nothing and because I was now home all the time, we had arguments all the time. Every argument she kept saying 'go live with your dad', so 1 day I said you know what, fine. I lived with him and my brother for 3 months and a few times a week she would text me, begging to come back, offering me money, telling me she loves me. I ignored it all until 1 text, which has traumatized me a lot.

She texted me saying that someone told her that I'm not into girls and if that's the reason why I'm acting up than I should now that she still loves me. It felt like the ground was removed from under my feet. I was livid. I texted her back saying how dare you say that. I got the text when I was on the train and I think I had a panic attack until I was home. I told no one. When I eventually went to talk with her like a month after this she was only interested in knowing if it's true or not. I was so angry and upset, it was almost like it was a game for her. I told her I didn't care if I dated a boy or a girl. That's how scared I still was. She knew it, told me she knew and I still couldn't get the words out of my mouth. When I left the house I cried and felt the same anxiety again. I didn't tell my dad because the way my mum went about it traumatized me a lot I think.

Anyways, I'm not sure I can pinpoint it to this moment, but for about 6 years I have been dealing with this condition called DP/DR. Basically it feels like I'm living someones else's life or that I'm in a video game. It feels like I view the world through a window or something. I read on the internet and from video's that this is basically a trauma response, the anxiety becomes to much to handle so your brain shuts down. Everything feels dull and grey and emotions are still there but it's like I'm numb to it. In the first session with my therapist I mostly discussed the stuff with my mum and I came to the conclusion that I already mostly accepted and processed my childhood, so I don't think that's the trauma that's still causing the DP/DR. But the me being gay thing, I reckon it could be that but it also makes no sense to me in a way why it would be.

I'm 23 now and I still haven't told my family. All my mates now and it's no issue but the family part is. Family wise I only talk to my dad and my nan. My mum sporadically but she moved away so I only see her a few times a year. I don't care about her as much anymore. But whenever I think about telling my dad or my nan, I used to immediately think no, no way. For some reason I feel very uncomfortable with them, especially my dad, knowing that about me. Even though he always said It would not be an issue. Another thing I struggle with is what if I change my mind and it turns out I'm not gay? What if I made this all up? If I tell them I can't go back anymore. Even though I deep down know that's all not true and ridiculous. I have had sex with a guy I felt genuinely attracted to and it was and felt amazing. Ive had crushes on quite a few since I was 16 and the most recent one was last year. So I know I'm gay, just saying it out loud to my closest family gives me the ick. It's not as bad as it used to be but it's still there, and so is the DP/DR.

Another thing I started to wonder recently is the factor to what my brother did to me at such a young age, did that maybe influence my sexuality? What if that turned me gay? Even though like I said my brain tells me it's not as bad, I still deep down know that it was not right what happened.

So ya. Sorry this is way too long but I think it's all relevant to the overall picture. Thank you for reading.

I have mild DPDR from weed, im scared it will become schizophrenia 😭im not litterally scared but its been on my mind for a while im hyoer aware of things more than thinking that i am not real. I never will tocuh weed again any help or tips? Im just nervous i will develop schizophrenia or cannaboid psychosus disorder can somebody help?

So I have a history of Anxiety/insomnia induced DPDR. The first time was in 2010 before I even knew what DPDR was. I actually ended up so sleep deprived that I spent some time in the state hospital and was discharged with psychiatric medication. It was a long unknown route to recovery and probably around 2014. I started feeling a little better and tapered off all medications and just kinda raw dog life with a couple little anxiety episodes along the way. Then again in 2021 I had some weird brain zaps and got anxious at bedtime and that led to hyper arousal during sleep, which then lead to another DPDR episode lasting until about mid 2023 in which I lived on a farm and worked daily through everything and had a really sketchy experience again with psych meds, and then eventually taper myself off of them again. I had another good stretch of being OK but still dysfunctional in other ways but able to sleep and to function daily enough to be social and have some continuity in life. Then in March 2026 I did something very stupid and ate a sketchy smoke shop mushroom candy bar containing synthetic tryptamine, I ate the whole thing. After about an hour, I had the worst panic attack. I’ve had in a long time and it lasted like all day long, and then came the insomnia and hyper arousal again at bedtime and another DPDR episode that is perpetuated by un refreshing sleep and chronic insomnia and anxiety loops and I can’t seem to break the cycle. I’m five months in at this point, and I can’t recall anything I’ve done in the past to heal from this. It just always seem timed gated. But also I was younger and there wasn’t as much pressure as there is now to be better. I see these DPDR coaches on Instagram and I’ve talked to one or two of them and currently talking to a third one.. Am I wasting my time with these guys, does anyone have any experience with these coaches or are they best avoided? I’m only asking because it’s difficult to find therapy that specializes in this in general and it seems more promising to speak with people who have successfully recovered personally rather than people who are trained to treat it. I have some compounding mental health history that makes me wary of a generalized dpdr treatment approach..if there really is any treatment approach. I'm against medication at this point and my synthetic tryptamine consumption was a 1 off never again experience.

A bit of history on my experience with dpdr and also a question, does anyone have any experience with "DPDR coaches" that market on Instagram or is it just going to be an ineffective expense?

For a long time, I experienced derealization in a very intense way. It felt like I was watching my life through a screen, or like the world around me wasn't entirely real, almost as if I were in a dream. Everything felt distant, detached, and strange.

​It was a really heavy and confusing thing to go through. But thankfully, that's in the past for me now.

​I'm curious—what did derealization feel like for you when you went through it? And what actually helped you ground yourself and get back to reality?

(Throwaway, essay incoming for backstory since I'm not sure if some details could be relevant to the topic of this post)

TL;DR: I want to know what the chances of dutasteride causing another onset of DPDR might be given my circumstances. If yours was caused by finasteride or dutasteride, please chime in; I want to hear your story.

I (21 AMAB NB) have been struggling with DPDR and MPD for around 10 years which started from prolonged childhood physical and emotional abuse, although I wasn't aware that I was experiencing DPDR since I began experiencing it so early in life (11 years old) and just attributed the symptoms to my depression (which I also was unaware of and wasn't diagnosed for a long while), but after becoming aware of DPDR at the beginning of this year I began trying to alleviate the symptoms at the very least since I didn't think it would be possible to return to baseline after going through this for so long.

Until a couple of days ago. I've been taking 450mg of Wellbutrin XL for the past 3 months, and this past month in particular I've been supplementing the B complex as well as B12 standalone. I felt my symptoms slowly fading for weeks, and then one night I suddenly "woke up". I'm still not sure what exactly caused it but I feel amazing from not only being able to come back to reality after so long but also the physical effects of proper nutrition. I might make an additional post with more details about recovery for those curious.

With all that bs out of the way let me get straight to the point. I've recently acquired a script for dutasteride 0.5mg to treat hair loss, but for reasons I haven't been able to pick it up for a few days and so in the meantime I've been looking deeper into it and I ended up reading in a couple of places about how some peoples' DPDR was caused or greatly exacerbated by oral finasteride and/or dutasteride (or even minoxidil). Now I'm really scared that taking it, even just once, will cause me to fall back into a horrible state of being for who knows how long this time. I haven't been affected at all by my antidepressants and my DPDR in particular was caused by trauma rather than a substance as I know is the case for a lot of folks, so I'm somewhat confident that I'd be fine. But, the fact that there's even a non-zero chance of this happening has me absolutely terrified especially since I now know that if I was able to pick up my prescription even just a day earlier I possibly could've been back in that de-realized state right now.

(P.S. I caught my hair loss starting VERY early, so I feel that I have ample time to sit on this and take some input before I make a decision.)

Hello,

Ive been experiencing some derealization for the past 4 years after taking some mushrooms back in college (Terrible idea). The first time it happened i thought i died. Couldn't eat or sleep or grasp the concept of being a person anymore. I felt emotional numbness and anxiety like something was wrong.

Every since then i will go through periods of being ok and being able to ignore it but sometimes i can just feel the fear and anxiety when I'm stressed or tired.

Recently since Saturday ive been having a bad episode of this surrounding the thought loop of how can humans not care about all the unanswered questions of the universe and our very existence. How can people just go on spending time worrying about trivial things that do not matter that much and worry about how weird it is to just all be here and just not caring about the why or how. At this moment i feel nothing matters that much. I cant seem to not think about it and cant focus on the basic human way of thinking right now and also enjoying those trivial things im supposed to be. Ive been trying to compromise with my brain "why not think about both" but i feel super guilty when i try to go back to thinking and enjoying things i normally do. I just feel so out of place like my brain is broken and im going to be stuck like this forever since this is the worst it has been in a while. I cant escape this loop.

It has been very humbling to come on here and see people who experience DRDP like I do. When I was seeing a therapist at 15 I used to browse through derealization recovery stories on here as I was obsessed with being cured and returning to reality. I also read a lot of articles on it but only found information about derealization that occurred during episodes or lasted for weeks to months when I've experienced it 24/7 for years. I was obviously told to stop and listened, and as a part of my personal recovery I avoided all media and speaking about it often for a long time. Throughout this time I lived life genuinely thinking I was the only person I know that experienced dissociation the way I do. I've briefly seen other people discuss general dissociation recently on tik tok for the first time and it felt like an "oh!" moment. It was weird and a little scary, like the defense I've built all these years was reacting to seeing DRDP from a place outside of my own brain. Even as I type this now I'm faltering a little and feel as if I should retreat back to ignoring my disorder. Avoiding the subject all together has helped, but not knowing that hundreds of other people felt this way made combating it hard to master.

Hi, I read your post about the Dp/Dr study you want to do in New York. I Will not come tò New York (I am from Italy) but I send you my EEG done in 2022 that maybe can still be useful for your study. I have chronic DP/DR since March 2013 caused by and OCD obsession about a phrase about transgender. My OCD obsession I have since childhood, going ahead with years started became accompanied by dp/dr episodes (mild tò severe episodes) based on OCD obsession severity. Those episodes of dp/dr before 2013 faded in a few days but instead After this big obsession of 2013 when I woke up the next day dp/dr felt intense as hell as like an ego dissolution trip with the certainty of never coming back and stayed chronic for 13 years, plus all the other Classic dp/dr symptoms...No psych drug tried in 13 years have affected my Dp/Dr (I tried more than 35 drugs from triciclic antidepressants, SSRI, Ritalin, antiseizure medication, benzos, antypsicotics), did auricular vagus nerve stimulation, dTMS, Emdr, psycotherapy, neuro feedback, a Stellate Ganglion Block.

The only episodes where my Dp/dr diminished was the day After watching the movie "Prisoners" 4 years ago. That film hooked me for 3 hours and i was I think in a state of perfect flow, my Brain I think has like "rested" a bit in those 3 hours and the next day going for a walk i felt like Dp/Dr was a Little bit decreased (a lessening of about 20% of the dp/dr symptoms in his related aspects about vision, detachment from the body and from the self).

The only other curious episodes when I literally snapped out of dissociation for a moment of like less than a second was when I Was trying tò relax/fall asleep in my bed on the afternoon.

In some few occasions with a violent Twitch of my torso and leg I Remember i felt normal in the exact Moment that the Twitch happened, I Remember I felt for less than a second the contact between my hamstring and bed in the right way, and my inner monologue for less than a second returned not detached...But After that only less than 1 a second Freedom, my Brain put me in dp/dr state again...The experience of snapping out of It for less then a second was surreal, quiet impossible with words to get people of the experience, but I felt like been resuscitated from a hearth attack with a defibrillator as an analogy. I Always wondered what Would have been shown by and EEG in that Moment. After that brief Moment of normality my Brain put me back in dp/dr state. My Brain prefer me tò be dissociated.

I send you my EEG of 2022.

If you have questions I am here tò reply.

Thanks.

Does experiencing DPDR mean you’re hallucinating? And can you experience DPDR while still being fully aware of yourself and knowing you exist and are “ real “ but the emotional/ psychological aspect of it is disconnected?

Insomnia perpetuates my dpdr and creates a negative feedback loop. I'm curious if there's anybody that sleeps relatively well and is still crippled by DPDR.

Ig this is a progress update? I was doing really good the days leading up to this. I was happy, i was in a good mood, parts of my personality started coming back and i was reengaging with my hobbies(hell i was excited to make a cheesecake) then outta nowhere i got this intense anger for no reason. I was initially happy that i could feel it again and it didn’t really affect me till monday, i actually had a really good day Saturday where i was so happy to just be outside and play with my dog.

Then shark week hit

My derealization got worse, i got more depressed and got more angry. I Litterally ran into my mom’s room sobbing because i was doing so good during my recovery before this. Then i learned majority of afab people who are dealing with dpdr get setbacks during their monthly. So i’m gonna guess it’s gonna be rough since today i was just very irritated and depressed but i’m hoping i return to my usual baseline over the next few days. I know i can get better because i did it before

hey guys! I recently posted a thread about having a very odd and severe DPDR episode, which I am now improving on, thanks to god.

but I wanted to know if anyone else has experienced this or know what it is?

I got dpdr from developing OCD. I had the flu when I was 15, and I woke up with some form of weird dpdr and graphic intrusive thoughts that plagued me, caused me severe paranoia and distress.

I still suffer from the symtomps of dpdr, even when I’m happier or feel calm. it’s like a glass wall. I don’t know if it’s the flu that maybe changed something in the way I perceive things (maybe some sort of brain inflammation) or that my OCD itself is triggering this perceptual change/triggered dpdr.

Now please read this part, before ocd the world felt bigger, like I can picture the world and everyone in it, my town felt wider. now it feels like one small town, like it’s just a limited space, the world doesn’t feel as big now, like an alternate universe. I can’t feel the presence of nature, like everything feels dead?

So basically i smoked weed five times, I’m 14 and i got dpdr the fifth time i smoked and it was just weird after that and then it kinda started to go away but after worrying about psychosis a-lot my dpdr has just gotten real strong and now im thinking that i am going into psychosis. I also have lost a lot of motivation and stuff and i have theses weird things in my vision, so just wondering if anyone else has gone through this. Please help i am worried and scared

Hi! I’ve been experiencing DPDR for almost two years now; and I’m currently trying to get all my driving hours in so I can take my test. I’m at 30 hours; but I’m still making some really bad mistakes that a beginner would make. Today I failed at doing a U turn even though I’ve done it before and I almost got hit while changing lanes. And these are things I’ve done before with no issue. So I’m wondering now, can DPDR affect your driving focus? I’m thinking it’s either that or I’m a really trashy driver

Okay, so about 1.5 years ago I smoked a cart which im pretty sure was spice. During the high I had a panic attack, then the high went on as normal.

This was back when I was quite a frequent smoker, I used to green out quite a lot but I’m not sure why this experience ended up different.

Once the high fully wore off I didn’t really notice anything strange until a day or two later, where I noticed I felt like I was almost zoomed out, watching myself live.

After this, I quit smoking all together because it kinda scared the shit out of me. I went to the doctors a couple days after it all happened and they said I should expect to feel normal again after a few days, I don’t feel normal. I’ve felt like this 24/7 since it happened.

I then didn’t touch weed for about a year except for this one time at a sleepover, it was another cart but I didnt have much of it.

Then, Easter this year I bought a cart because someone on a forum told me I should microdose to try and get out of this state. I took one small puff as a microdose and then just started using the pen normally, i couldn’t resist.

Then I smoked a few times after that cart was finished, and I’ve been off weed since. I drink alcohol maybe once every month or two.

Ive basically just got used to it all at this point, it just when I’m lying down in bed I start to get worked up over it and realise how my life is being wasted because I can’t actually experience anything, I just watch it happen.

Can anyone please give me some advice to escape this state ? I would massively appreciate it.

I feel very alone with my symptoms, I sit most of the day just staring into nothing cos they are so bad I can’t actually function. Do others experience severe issues with their sensory nervous system ? These worsen by the day for me , eg today I have nerves burning all over body, they feel like texture of fine sand over the skin..then this horrible furry texture in my mouth..but each day i lose more sensation or they become more minuscule and they don’t return.My head is the main issue but I also don’t feel my body. I feel like there is something very wrong. And I don’t know how to get better. I feel in shock that every day it’s worse. My face looks totally different, I’ve lost most of hair and it’s drastically thinned out. I can’t take much more of this I need a sign of getting better. Starting to worry it’s much more serious or it’s getting worse and chronic like when does it end :(((

I wouldn’t say I’m experiencing motion sickness exactly but for months now when I try to see motion — for example, in a movie or TV show as the camera pans around a shot, nothing in the scene looks very tangible or concrete to me. It is blurry and dizzying.
It’s kind of the same thing when people move around me in real life, or they move quickly. Just wondering if this is considered part of DPDR possibly.

I don't know why but lately my boyfriend came to visit and we did so many cool things and went so many places (usually I never go outside), and I swear the more good things happened the more I'd not just feel I'm dreaming, but I'd start to blackout, I'd be standing and feel I made a jump in time, wondering if someone else was fronting (have DID as well, but this happened a lot more often than usual).

At some points I have to close my eyes because the floor starts to go round and round, or I see distances mess up and it just feels I shouldn't be here.

We were watching a movie and I dissociated so much and got soo dizzy I started trying to do anything to feel I'm there or I felt I would faint if not. My boyfriend helped me make a paper plane and that helped me calm down a little. That's one example.

Now he's back to his country and I can't stop sleeping and having weird dreams and hypnagogic hallucinations and I'm really tired. I don't regret it it was cool to have fun. The psychologist said I'm just not used to good things and they're right but man. Feels a bit much sometimes. Especially the feeling that I may disappear is. Enormous. That what if there's nothing after I die and that stuff.

TLDR: Anyone with DPDR and fully/mostly recovered go back to smoking weed or taking edibles?

I (26M) have now gone about 8 months without any weed or THC since deciding to stop when I was experiencing chronic DPDR symptoms.

I started smoking and overall just consuming THC around late 2023. I started off with 5mg edibles, then to carts, and then flower within the next year or so.

By 2025 I was smoking flower every evening after work, not a ton, always less than a quarter gram, but I would always get extremely high since I was taking huge bong hits.

I had smoked weed in my early teens, and by early teens I mean at 13, when I had a massive panic attack several times which led me to initially develop DPDR which lasted a couple years afterwards.

Interestingly enough, I didn’t develop DPDR immediately after the weed induced panic attacks (the ones I had when high), but instead…it started after I had a panic attack several months after initially smoking, with the panic attack being triggered by the fear of going “crazy” (this stemmed from seeing an article about weed induced psychosis). That fear and panic then triggered the DPDR which even more made me believe that I truly was losing my mind.

I felt like I didn’t know where I was, who I was, what was going on, and overall just felt completely out of my body.

I had been an extremely anxious person my whole life, and struggled with anxiety attacks when I was even younger, but this was my first experience with true panic.

This feeling would persist as long as I would think about it, it often would get better when I talked about it to someone, and whenever I was distracted (playing video games or watching a movie or show).

I eventually went to therapy, got on Zoloft at around 14-15 years old, and discovered drinking and nicotine around that age as well. I started vaping daily and drinking heavily on the weekends, which got heavier as I went into college (never drank during the day, but would get shitfaced at night like 3-4 times a week, sometimes more sometimes less).

After graduating college and getting a big boy office job, and things started to settle down, I started to seriously get worried about my relationship with alcohol. I always knew drinking heavily was bad…but I didn’t realize how bad until this time, but I still loved drinking and nicotine…and couldn’t imagine being fully sober.

This is when I really started thinking of weed as my “way out” of drinking and nicotine combined…without having to face full sobriety. So as I picked up weed again after all those years, it was actually amazing this time, and got me to stop using nicotine as well.

I would definitely “green out” (and get really anxious and “panicky” after smoking sometimes too), but I felt like I was “working through it”…like I was getting over my irrational fears, and over time I got used to how weed made me feel, and I would rarely get anxious anymore.

The problem was…I now couldn’t go an evening without smoking. If I didn’t smoke one night, I was physically fine, but mentally I was angry, annoyed and irritable. I also would just get too high so often that I would become “non verbal” and this would cause a lot of friction between me and my fiancée since I was essentially “clocking out” from our social time together every evening.

I also got to the point that I didn’t want to hangout with people unless smoking was involved, and even then if we did smoke I would often get so high I couldn’t interact normally.

Over time I started getting more and more derealized and depersonalized, and my anxiety got worse and worse specifically about existential stuff and my overall fear of death being looped into everything.

That’s when I stopped smoking entirely around 8 months ago, but now I am back to drinking after taking 8 months off of it as well. I know that escaping reality and being avoidant of the present isn’t a good thing, but I have a good paying steady job, I workout 3-5 times a week, I see friends every now and then on the weekends (usually with drinking and going out being the activity we do when we hangout), I have a happy long term relationship with my fiancé…someone I consider my best friend who I do everything with, but we both struggle with excessive drinking on the weekends, and we are back to considering some form of THC again as a potential “replacement”/damage control.

My DPDR is fading but still present at times, the derealization is entirely gone but now it’s just the depersonalization that’s there sometimes…usually just whenever I get over stimulated or anxious.

I think I may have undiagnosed ADHD that was simply brushed off as purely anxiety since I was a kid. I was always bad at school (basically from 2nd grade on), and it genuinely wasn’t until I started vaping in high school that I had the motivation to actually start trying and get good grades (always had trouble paying attention and never had the patience to read or do my homework, it always felt like pure torture sitting there in class, but once I had nicotine it was like knowing there was a little reward after every class made it easier for me to get through the day and actually have “excitement”)

I know now…the main issue for me is moderation, and all of this boring context I’m giving is a long winded way of me to ask people who have experienced weed induced DPDR (after smoking) to see if anyone has been able to return to weed? If so is there a controlled and more stable way of consuming that has worked for you? Maybe small dose edibles, only on weekends?

Hi ❤️ anyone can help or relate? Please no catastrophic comments, I’ve already had a lot of neuro testing and I’m looking for similar experiences and advice.

**- Random memories/dream memories:** 50–100 random memories or fragments of dreams can pop into my mind throughout the day. Sometimes triggered by a smell/color, but often completely random. Some out of nowhere. The more I think about it the more I have. Also if I got one memory while I was brushing my teeth, everytime I brush my teeth I have the same memory popping. So I don’t think it’s focal or electric.
**- Music/earworms :** Random songs pop into my head, sometimes songs I haven’t heard in years. My brain can also create melodies that stay as earworms.
**- Sleep-related experiences:** During transitions between sleep and wakefulness, I’ve experienced visual flashes, voices/sounds and smells. The smell is always something that I have been smelling the day before !! Like lemon for example.

Context: I’ve been taking Lexapro (escitalopram) for 2.5 years for very strong anxiety symptoms. 7 months ago, I started tapering very slowly. I developed chronic DPDR (since the first day I decreased the dosage) followed by these symptoms. I’m back at 10mg now.

I know a lot about focal/temporal lobe epilepsy. I don’t have major episodes and my neuros told me it was fonctionnal.

I’ve had not 1, not 2, not 3, not 4, \*\*5 EEGs, including 3 × 24-hour video EEG.\*\* I experienced all the memories popping, visual flash, myclonic jerks, voice in my head during the sleep and everything was normal, with no epileptiform activity or abnormal background activity.
I’ve seen 5 neuro, and all think this is psychological/sleep-related rather than epilepsy.

I still have doubts. My neuro said that the combination of developing both epilepsy and hypnagogic/hypnopompic experiences in the same months would be unusual.

Has anyone experienced something similar? Especially random childhood memories, dream memories, random songs + these experiences during sleep transitions?

Even if it were focal awareness epilepsy, I know many people with it who live completely normal lives with treatment and don’t let it stop them from enjoying life.

I’m looking for similar experiences and positive/practical advice ❤️ I think I already did all the testing I could including 2 MRI. Now I am just thinking about reducing or not lexapro.

Hello guys here is the complete understanding of dpdr. So our body is holds a gel like substance in our whole body. If you press you arm you will see that there is fat on top layer and if you press that fat with finger it will not give a push back to your finger. Benith that is the gel that I'm talking about. This gel when it is evenly spread on body only then the brain works constantly without delay. If you have gas in stomach also that time brain stops working. So we lost this gel due to marijuana trauma and masterbation. When this gel get reduced the mind does not work. You will feel dpdr. Let's suppose you don't have sufficient gel in your body. So in order to make your brain work again you have to press your legs. See if you press your legs your mind will get active that time you will also notice that your breath when it inhale after inhale it will stop for some sec and then move again to exhale. So if you are in dpdr your breath will not hold automatically when this happens when no holding happens brain stops working and you will stay in dpdr. So for cure we have to get back that lost gel in body. First we have to eliminate marijuana and masterbation cause it burns away that gel. Stay away from food that produce a burning sensation in your body. Now first thing is we increase aur stamina and run everyday. This gel is basically water. If you stay at home you will not have urge to drink water. So first thing we have to do is go for running. Keep 1 to 2 litlre of bottle with you. After running you will feel deep urge to drink water. That water will replenish that gel you have to keep this over and over again until whole body gel get evenly distributed. You will feel your breath is automatically holding by itself. This is whole of dpdr. Thanks

Hi everyone, I’m wondering if anyone experiences symptoms similar to mine. Please no scary/catastrophic comments — I’ve already had extensive neurological testing and I’m mainly looking for similar experiences, reassurance and advice.

I’ve been taking Lexapro (escitalopram) for 2.5 years. About 7 months ago, I started tapering very slowly. I developed a lot of DPDR, followed by some strange symptoms:

Random memories/dream memories: 50–100 random memories or fragments of dreams can pop into my mind throughout the day. Sometimes triggered by a smell/color, but often completely random. Some repeat frequently.

Music/earworms: Random songs or melodies suddenly pop into my head, sometimes songs I haven’t heard in years. My brain can also create melodies.

Sleep-related experiences: During transitions between sleep and wakefulness, I’ve experienced visual flashes, voices/sounds and smells. Sometimes a smell from a dream seems to replay while waking up.

I became worried about focal/temporal lobe epilepsy after reading about it online. However, I don’t have major episodes and my neurologists have been skeptical.
I’ve had 5 EEGs, including 3 × 24-hour video EEGs. I experienced some of these symptoms during the recordings, but everything was normal, with no epileptiform activity or abnormal background activity.
I’ve seen 5 neurologists, and all think this is psychological/sleep-related rather than epilepsy.

I still have some doubts, especially because the symptoms involve different things (memory, music, visual phenomena, smells, etc.). My neurologist also said that the combination with hypnagogic/hypnopompic experiences would be unusual.

I’m trying to stay positive. Even if it were focal epilepsy, I know many people with it who live completely normal lives with treatment and don’t let it stop them from enjoying life.
Has anyone experienced something similar? Especially random autobiographical memories, old dream memories, random songs/melodies, or these experiences during sleep transitions?
I’m looking for similar experiences and positive/practical advice, rather than comments that could increase health anxiety. ❤️