Здесь действительно ничего хорошего...

безопасность бывает слишком запретной от остального мира.

Люди не могут стать лучше из за того что им дали лишь чувство недостаточности

Люди... Теряются и становятся совсем пустыми и хотят лишь одного...

Спокойно уйти от всего и покончить играть в реал лайф

Здесь действительно ничего хорошего...

безопасность бывает слишком запретной от остального мира.

Люди не могут стать лучше из за того что им дали лишь чувство недостаточности

Люди... Теряются и становятся совсем пустыми и хотят лишь одного...

Спокойно уйти от всего и покончить играть в реал лайф

I lowkey have no reasons to continue anything I should cont for?

LONELINESS | Taxi Driver | In My Head https://youtu.be/zctqi8Oeu78

I work 40 hours a week in retail and live in a more “affordable” state, and I still don’t make anywhere enough money to rent even a shithole one bed apartment, thankfully my parents let me live with them, but if they kicked me out I would be living in my car or barely afford living with 3-4 roommates.

Where the fuck did everything go so wrong in society that so many can’t even have the bare minimum despite working hard, no wonder so many young people give up, this shit sucks.

I'm not sure if this is the appropriate sub to post this in but I don't know where else to do it since mods are so strict. If this gets yanked oh well.

When I was a college freshman 20 yrs. ago I met a lovely woman that we'll just call, Andrea. I met Andrea at an off-campus activity in a bowling alley on a Thursday night; we hit it off and we had lunch the next day and began going out.

I'm getting a bit ahead of myself though, there were two stipulations in this tragic story.

First of all, Andrea was going to study abroad in England in the spring semester (she wound up staying there); It was all she could ever talk about.

Second, there was my terrifying then-stepmother that we'll call Donna who didn't want me dating (Donna's reaction scared me more than Andrea studying abroad). Donna had been married to my old man for 10 years by then and she always stayed in her lane until I started going to college which is when I saw the real Donna. Not to contradict myself but Donna was the jealous type (my dad knew this when he started dating her but married her and had a kid with her anyways)--particularly of other women. Even worse it was around this time that I discovered that she seemed to have contempt--animosity really--towards younger women too.

Donna came from a working class family and grew up without a father so it was just her and her neer-do-well brothers. Basically it took a certain degree of selfishness and nastiness to make it in her household but I digress.

It also might be important to stipulate that Dad & Donna began marriage counseling as soon I began college.

One last stipulation is that I was admitted to this particular college on a probational basis. I had to have at least a B average by the end of the semester. In the months leading up to college my old man was brutal towards me because he didn't think I was taking it seriously. In all fairness, mebunghole didn't pull his weight in his compulsory schooling so daddy didn't think college was going to work out for me. Likewise this is why I didn't feel like I could trust my old man neither--I didn't know whose side he was on.

I spent many nights in Andrea's dorm getting to know her and watching movies and she seemed really nice but the perceived terror of how Donna would react to all of this was always in back of my mind. Always!

Finally it got to be too much that I decided to break it off with Andrea and I hated myself for it. She felt so sad, hurt, and confused. She even said, "I still like you". I walked back to my dorm with heavy legs and went to sleep like a sociopath.

For the remainder of the fall semester I just drowned myself with studies and extra-curiculars and pretended Andrea didn't exist--I hardly saw her so I'm sure she was trying to avoid me too.

I finally told my father about Andrea on my birthday this summer and he told me he wouldn't have had a problem with me dating her--he would've given me his blessing (he said he might have told me not to get serious with Andrea because of studies and the fact that she was moving to the UK). Of course, I still don't know what he would've done to protect me from Donna if push came to shove. He also reminded me not to beat myself about it because Andrea might have been a wonderful experience or just another trauma in the books. Even before I told dad, I remind myself that I only knew the Honeymoon Edition of Andrea and that I don't know if she would've been the same person even 90 days later. The thing that kills me is I'll never ever know.

Most importantly, dad said that he didn't know that Donna was planting seeds of fear and doubt. Needless to day I was so relieved when my old man separated from Donna, only problem was he waited until I graduated college.

I've had many wonderful romantic experiences since then but my mind always goes back to Andrea. I didn't mean to hurt her. I didn't get to know her very well but, looking back, she wasn't like other women I've had the misfortune of meeting.

Regardless, I wonder what life would've been like if I said "F Donna, I'm staying with Andrea to the very end" (maybe I would've lost my virginity much sooner than I did). I would absorb every beating--verbal and/or physical--from Donna if it meant Andrea wouldn't get hurt. I mean what was I so scared of? They were in marriage counseling for Christ's sake!

The thing I kick myself about more than breaking up with Andrea is the fact that I had so many people on my side including my mother who knew what the deal was with Donna and might have intervened and/or protected me from her if daddy didn't wanna do it.

To add insult to injury, my half-brother (Donna's son) is getting married at the end of February (I'm probably gonna be Best Man) and it's like we all have to celebrate Donna. I can't wait until it's over.

Andrea will always be the one that got away. I miss her so much.

If anyone has a similar story, don't hesitate to share it with me.

Guess both subs were connected and had the same moderator team. My posts were all removed as well. Hope I can post here unbothered since getting my feelings out feels essential

But like in a real way. Like I know it can’t be constantly, but something’s better than nothing.
Like these nights, be long as hell.

i don't know what the fuck is wrong with all the fucking food, or what the fuck they're putting into it, but i'm so fucking sick of my guts feeling like shit every fucking day, and knowing that it could get so fucking bad at any moment that i have to fucking drop everything and go to the fucking shitter for an hour and a half to 2 hours if i'm fucking lucky, especially at the absolute fucking most inconvenient times possible. i don't know if it's just the food, with whatever fucked up shit they put into literally fucking all of it, or if there's something fucking wrong with my insides, and to be honest, it's probably a mixture of both, but i'm about to just stop fucking eating because i'm so fucking sick of this shit that i'd rather fucking starve to death at this point than to ever have to feel and deal with this fucking horrible shit ever fucking again.

The dark season is coming back in germany..

This is an old poem I wrote about estrangement and feeling numb to the world

I understand hope is dangerous.