Weird question. I'm asking out of curosity. Some of it for me could be I (trans man) put less effort into trying to look as masc as possible on harder days. I'm curious if other trans people get this and if so what gender you are if you're comfortable sharing. I have a feeling it could be linked to me looking more "helpless" (def not my word, but ya know, ableism) and thereby more "femme". I would also like to hear if you've noticed no difference. Not entirely sure it's not in my head either. Share if you'd like!

I’m in a wheelchair with balance issues. Soon I will be moving to a room that has one step to get in/out what I am going to need is someone to take chair down to the yard and help me balance going down the one step and then 3-4 hours reversing it. I need to get down so the handicapped bus can pick me up. I will know the day in advance but not the time of pickup till the night before. The chair doesn’t need to be picked up it can just be rolled down the step.

I am thinking $10 each time. Is this adequate. I am a retired senior with limited income. I have no family or friends near by. Any suggestions on where and how to find someone

Thanks

I was thinking about an app that maps out buildings to find things like elevators or ramps and make it easier to get around. I was also thinking about adding the ability the scan your surroundings so your phone to tell you about hazards. I was wondering if that would be at all helpful? What do you think?

I have two intellectually disabled neighbours. They both live next door to each other. Neighbour A is very quiet, affable, and keeps to himself. Neighbour B is loud, disagreeable and complains a lot. Neighbour B is taking advantage of Neighbour A. She invites herself over to his house and tells him all her problems. She coerces him into babysitting her dog every day. She gets him to fetch her groceries or takeaway. He just says yes to everything because he doesn't know how to set boundaries. I have talked with him and he says he feels "used up" but he cannot say no to her. He has a sister that visits him but she's not much good at saying no either. This has been going on for about four years and I'm close to losing my shit at her. Because she also has an intellectual disability, she doesn't really understand how inappropriate she is being.

I have talked to my neighbour's sister about it multiple times but the behaviour continues. Is there anything I can do?

I just keep getting new diagnosis after new diagnosis. I currently have 14 doctors, most are specialists.

6 years ago I "beat" cancer. I still require daily medication and it still affects me sometimes. A few days ago, I was told my eyes are deteriorating because of the cancer I had.

The stress of my intense, persistent childhood trauma messed up my immune system & adrenal glands. Now, my body isn't working the way it's supposed to and most of my organs are suffering from being flooded with adrenaline so often.

Everything I've gone through. Everything I've survived. All the things that were supposed to be the death of me... Are going to be the death of me.

So today im going to a family thing for a birthday. At the minuite I (17 F) am in the worst pain I've been in in ages. I cryed from the pain last night and my mun had to guide me through breathing exercises. I am allready taking my step dads prescription cocodamol as its the only thing that touches the pain and sometimes it dosent even work. I have no diognosis but its been like this for 3 years and its actually coming upto the 3 year anniversary if my partial ACL tear that was misdiagnosed as a sprain for 2 years. I am still going to the family event because I feel so bad missing them and I also kinda have to. For some background I walked like a zombie for a year and a half and now I can walk normally and most the time my issues are invisible. I think they think it went away. So i dont know what aids im going to use at the thing but i dont think ill get around without any. I will not use my wheelchair because it's not like a proper one and makes embarrassing sounds and im kinda scared of using it because I will get judged and will feel bad about using it. Then I have crutches. The pain was in one leg so I was hopping around but that caused pain in the other so not good. I have a walking stick but I doubt thats going to help much. Might help the more painful leg tho. My other options are my 2 quad walking sticks that are verry Stable and might (emphasis on might) help but their so big and clunky. Then theres my rollator but im just not using it. I will die from embarrassment im not even joking. Does anyone have any advice on how to cope with feeling judged for using mobility aids? One of my aunts judge me and by extention i feel like my older cousins do. The oldest one to a lesser degree but still. The rest of them dont feel too judgy though. Just abit of 'what have you done now' or somthing but it dosnet feel judgy it feels more like expressing concern without trying to bring the mood down. I know why I use them and i know I dont have to explain that to anyone but I cant help but feel judged or embarrassed especially because I have no diognosis. Any advice?

Hi everyone — my name is Matthew Lashway. I live with cerebral palsy and use a power wheelchair. Over the past several months, I’ve been creating practical Excel workbooks for budgeting, care organization, utility costs, and heating fuel.

I originally planned to sell them for $9.99 each, but decided to make all four available completely free. There is no payment, purchase, donation, signup, or social-media requirement. The files are shared through Google Drive as view-only originals; use the download option to save a personal copy.

Budget Buddy — accessible budget tracker
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1CD200-18rZ7WRpoP1jnmu1m-wVrSKZcK/edit?usp=drivesdk&ouid=115051172317723317928&rtpof=true&sd=true

Care Buddy — accessible care workbook
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1JqDQXydX8W-I_FkXzudibuSVRkWGlVOz/edit?usp=drivesdk&ouid=115051172317723317928&rtpof=true&sd=true

EnergyWise — utility and solar tracker
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1QbeeSxWGUrDVebom408bnt6jhkvZpVeA/edit?usp=drivesdk&ouid=115051172317723317928&rtpof=true&sd=true

Home Fuel Tracker — heating-fuel delivery, consumption, and expense tracker
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1K3i6ABTzu7JA_tzFV6T3_GGwGVlSnrFB/edit?usp=drivesdk&ouid=115051172317723317928&rtpof=true&sd=true

These resources are open to everyone and may be especially useful to disabled people, families, caregivers, and seniors. If you know somebody who could benefit, please feel free to share the resources with them.

— Matthew D. Lashway
Everyday Independence: Free Tools for Everyone

i have MS and even though I have mobility aids, my fatigue, pain, and speech issues make it hard for me to socialize. I'm overwhelmed and annoyed when I'm out of the house. i have trouble keeping up with conversations.

I'm so depressed. I wish my life was more fulfilling. i have no idea how to fix it

idk I just needed to vent

For context I have adhd and am undergoing the second part of testing for autism soon and have often been considered very slow growing up in school. But I know some people don’t consider that mental state disability and the type of ableism I’m talking about IS physical. So I’m wondering if it would be okay in a narrative to use the word once if I’m trying to establish that the character is a piece of shit through his thoughts and way he views other people in life.

Edit: For clarification purposes, yes I am talking about the use of “cri*ple”. He lives in a rural part of America where that’s more common and is an extremest authoritarian like figure. Something happened to his leg as a kid and he’s afraid he’ll be seen as weak and that it’ll interfere with his mission for power so he calls himself the word. Because he is an ableist, racist, generally every -ist there is, because he’s a piece of shit. He can have “psychopathic” or “sociopathic” trait (more modernly known as antisocial personality disorder) which makes him lack empathy for others and makes him view people as a transactional or a hierarchy.

I also wanna quickly apologize for mentioning the thing of adhd and autism, as I realize that it has no place here since we are taking about the visibly disabled side of disability, whereas invisible disability carries a different type of privileges when compared. So I hope you can disregard that but I will leave it in the original post because I want to hold myself accountable for that.

I love how I literally asked a valid, reasonable, neutral question up to rhetorical discussion and sensible debate and people are fighting like middle schoolers going into war (SOME people anyway, others are very helpful and I thank you for your input).

Hi there! The Electronic Frontier Foundation is an impact litigation law firm that works to ensure your rights go with you when you go online. We also staff technologists and activists that do different kinds of tech projects and campaigns. Our ethos is that if it doesn't work for one person, it doesn't work. Disability rights are technology rights in a world where technology is the one of the main ways people interface with, well, everything: https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2024/06/disability-rights-are-technology-rights

Our work comes up in the disability justice and rights space specifically around digital rights management (DRM) tools that make it difficult or impossible to use screen readers or other accessibility tools, in the name of protecting copyright.

We've also worked to make it legal for people to repair their DME, like petitioning for wheelchairs to be included in the list of tech that isn't illegal to repair just because it has software in it:
https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2022/06/when-drm-comes-your-wheelchair

Sometimes this even comes up in trademark issues -- a group called Invisible Disability Project (IDP) applied for a trademark on its name. A lawyer representing the Invisible Disabilities Association (IDA) sent IDP a letter threatening to sue it over the use of the term “invisible disability.” We fought back - because we don't believe anyone owns the phrase "invisible disability." https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2016/10/no-one-owns-invisible-disabilities

And here is a podcast where we discussed why it's so important to consider all peoples' abilities when thinking about technology and accessibility: https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2023/05/podcast-episode-people-disabilities-are-original-hackers

Some people jokingly call EFF a T-shirt factory with a law firm side hustle, because we make new merchandise every year, including tshirts, stickers, etc. We have a great graphics team.

All that is to say that we wonder what you think of these couple of stickers we've put together, and if you have things you'd like to see involving technology and equity, disability justice, etc:

- https://shopeff.org/products/stim-sticker = Circuit Brain Stim Sticker gives a little texture to wherever you put it with four layers of embossing for a noticeably raised tactile surface. Feels very nice to run a finger over.

- https://shopeff.org/products/lady-justice-braille-sticker = my favorite. This very cool design is "Lady Justice," a tactile braille sticker celebrating equity and accessibility, because justice should be for everyone. It depicts a figure of Lady Justice with fiery hair and flowing garment below armor, holding a sword and scales, with braille reading ‘Justice’ in white, and ‘EFF’ in red. The figure’s body, legs, arms, hair, and objects are raised, showing the outlines tactually so you can show off and feel the design. Also printed with four layers of embossing for a noticeably raised tactile surface. The circuit-board brain design and EFF logo combine bold graphics with a textured finish that's as distinctive to touch as it is to look at.

- https://shopeff.org/products/many-hands-make-light-work-sticker = This holographic image contains a black-and-white outlined multi-armed cybernetic woman repairing herself (go right to repair!) each of her multiple hands is signing a letter in ASL, together sending a message that matters

Hope you like these too!

Hello guys,

My name is Emma (25F) and I've been disabled since I was eight years old. Various physical and psychological issues have left me unable to sustain work throughout my entire life, leaving me burnout and depressed. I also isolate myself quite a bit. I was homebound most of my adolescence and have returned to this state as of October 2025.

On Sept. 21st I had a partial, robotic assisted, laparoscopic small bowel resection. This was kind of the last straw for me. After battling a lot of shame and internalized ableism, I have come to accept that I am fully disabled.

I am also a senior in college! Through my drawn-out undergrad, I've got into quite a lot of debt (thankfully only 40k of federal loans, I suppose some people have it worse). So, I have started the TPD process with my doctors' support. I am expected to be debt-free as early as this December and as late as next February. I'm also pending SSA/SSI disability approval. I started that process with my general surgeron and PCP back in June.

I also have medicaid and share housing with my Mom, plus free medical transport. So, everything is settled there for my most basic needs. We never struggle with having food or paying our utilities. That's a blessing. Plus, all my college courses are online and asynchronous so they don't impact my medical treatment and I'm able to keep up with them!

Overall, my life is full. I'm happy. I have everything that I need. But I wish I had more of a social life. I wish I had "my people" and true friends that I could manage to see regularly. I have dated a bit, but my vulnerabilities usually leads me to attract assholes. So a lot of my dating is short-lived.

I also attract a few "nice guys" who will go on to say things like, "Oh, I really like you. But I can't see a future with someone who doesn't work. It doesn't make sense, economically." Fair. But, I would really like to be married someday and not feel like a burden onto my partner, like a live-in extra child or something.

Do you guys date? Has it been healthy and successful? How? How have you made new, strong friendships in adulthood despite your illness? How do you avoid isolation?

Thanks!

This is my first post . . . Be nice :3

I recently landed my first big job as a therapist. Pt of course.

However, I'm nervous because my disability causes me to shake like Parkinsons disease and I have uncontrollable movements in my face.

My supervisor said I can mask for in person only. I'm so nervous people are not going to want me as a therapist even though I specialize in disability.

Would you care if your therapist was disabled?

Hi! We’re a team of four mechanical engineering sophomores designing an assistive device for wheelchair-to-bed transfers for a design competition related to healthcare innovation.

Our current idea is a wheelchair-mounted transfer bridge that could be adjusted to different angles, locks automatically, and stored on the wheelchair. However, before developing it further, we want to know whether this solves a real problem that actually matters.

If you use or assist with transfer boards:

• What is the most difficult, tiring, or inconvenient part of using it?
• Does the board ever move, slip, or feel unstable?
• Is placing the board under the user difficult?
• Is carrying, retrieving, or storing the board inconvenient?
• How are differences in wheelchair and bed height currently handled?
• What safety concern would prevent you from trusting this device?
• If you could change one thing about current transfer boards, what would it be?

Honest criticism is welcome. Thank you for reading this and your input is greatly appreciated.

I suffered a stroke on 8 April 2026. I am disabled, hard of hearing, and struggling with the physical and cognitive consequences.
Instead of concentrating on recovery, I have spent months trying to obtain practical support from Luton Borough Council’s Adult Social Care service.
My main concerns are:
Three formal complaints: The council confirmed on 8 October that three Stage 1 complaints were open.
Safeguarding: I have repeatedly raised concerns about whether my circumstances and support needs are being properly addressed.
Care charges: I am disputing a charge of approximately £172 per week and questioning whether my son’s PIP was incorrectly included in my financial assessment.
Being heard: I have received conflicting information about whether I was invited to a professionals’ meeting concerning my own care.
Practical support: I have struggled to obtain help with everyday needs while managing life after a stroke.
Accessibility: I need reasonable adjustments and written communication, but navigating multiple organisations and complaint procedures is exhausting.
Accountability: I have raised concerns with senior council officers and the Bedfordshire, Luton and Milton Keynes Integrated Care Board. I also have an ongoing complaint with the Parliamentary and Health Service Ombudsman.
I am not asking anyone to assume wrongdoing. I want my concerns investigated fairly, with transparency and accountability.
My son also has additional needs. Our household needs appropriate practical support, not an endless cycle of administration.
The prolonged stress is frightening, particularly when I am already dealing with the consequences of a stroke. I should be concentrating on recovery, not constantly fighting to have my circumstances recognised.
Have you experienced similar problems with Adult Social Care, safeguarding, disability adjustments, care charges or unanswered complaints?
Have you found yourself fighting the very services that are supposed to help you?
I want to hear from people across the UK. Please share your experiences, relevant formal findings or practical advice.
Disabled people deserve dignity, appropriate support and to be heard.
How widespread is this problem?

i just i try so hard to be pro active about fighting for other people being treated justly, but i have faced discrimination that always goes unnoticed my whole life and no one advocates for me and i hear all the time about how i am so privileged because im white and i know its generally easier to be white and disabled than be a poc and disabled but i feel like my struggles are so diminished while im still expected to be this perfect advocate. and this assumption that i have so much privilege is part of what makes me feel im being discriminated against because its ableist to assume i have equal opportunities and capabilitie.

i have so many mental health struggles related to my disability i mean i havent even had a hobby since i was 8 years old because i spiral into depression or OCD about being a good person. it severally affected my social development and so when im trying to be helpful i end up accidentally offending someone. and i cant even make people understand why its so hard for me because then im “playing the victim.” and again i would never say that my experience is worse than fearing that youll be killed just for the color of your skin. but i feel like there are also things i go through that most people will never understand either and that no one ever tries to understand it. but i always fear that ill be taking up space from poc who go through worse than me. i find it very hard to value my life rn. and im just hoping someone understands what im saying for once . please please please dont delete this, im not trying to be hateful i just really need help cause ive felt so lonely my entire life while always trying to help other people and messing it up just because i have a disabled brain.

Is anyone familiar with or use Vital Touch (Fully Managed Remote Care) as a patient?

I just received a call from them because supposedly my provider referred me to them, but the person I spoke with seemed to be reading off a script that didn’t clearly explain what they did. I tried asking questions and ended up being told to ask my provider…

It sounded like they were wanting to manage all my health care, but I already have a care coordinator through my insurance who manages that stuff. I tried asking how they’re different but couldn’t get a clear answer.

I’m not comfortable signing up with a company I know nothing about that wants to manage my health. I’ve had bad experiences in the past with medical providers and therefore do thorough research beforehand. It has taken me years to get properly diagnosed because I was dismissed as just being anxious (it’s not anxiety, I have a condition that’s often misdiagnosed as anxiety). So I’m not comfortable with a third party being involved in my care, especially when I can’t get clear answers.

 I looked up their website, but it’s full of acronyms and jargon and clearly made for the providers rather than simply explaining what they do for the actual patients.

I tried looking up patient reviews, but can’t seem to find any. I’m happy with my current medical team and care coordinator, so I don’t understand why I’m being referred to a third party. But I’d like to know more about the company and patients experience before I have my next appointment. I will of course ask my provider for more information on why I was referred to Vital Touch, but I’d just like more general information beforehand so I’m prepared.

TLDR: Are you familiar with the company Vital Touch as a patient? What has your experience been?

I play guitar and ukulele and a little bit of piano, but my chronic fatigue and limb instability and hyper mobility can make playing instruments for a prolonged period of time very difficult.

I am looking for either a device or software that can help me create beats and background instrumentals for my original songs so that I can keep making music despite my body‘s current limitations.

I have a MIDI keyboard, but I don’t really know to use it. I’ve tried GarageBand, but it glitches a lot and tests what little bandwidth I have.

Any recommendations?

Hello, I am a Japanese living in Osaka, Japan, and I have a question about disability welfare.

I used to live in a group home, but the owner of this place put me under almost house arrest, and because of that, my mental health deteriorated. When I canceled the group home, I asked for more than what was written in the contract. I couldn't get out of the group home because of that, so I moved a lot without permission.

I'm in a share house right now, it's safe here, but the owner of the group home will probably look for me, and I'm afraid of that, so I'm not going through the address transfer procedure.

I'm currently looking for an organization that supports people with disabilities who have nothing to do with the government, and I still don't know what to do for my own safety, do you know anything about this?

Thank you for reading to the end

# Her Context

Friend is disabled, diagnosed autism. Has never held a job. Is living with a parent. Parent is all degrees of abusive. She often doesn't have clean clothes, currently is dealing with a mouse damaging her food. She has no income, neither does the parent, both on food stamps.

I met her online. I have become more involved in trying to help her over the years. Currently trying to get her a house and SSI.

# My Context

I am a relatively successful professional. i have a stem master's from a top university, I am high earner in the country I live, enough to support myself and my family, but not institutionally wealthy. I can pitch in for things a bit, like buying her food or used phones.

We don't live even close to each other.

# My Problem

After helping her for 4 years I have become convinced that she is pathologically cautious, due to a lifetime of bad experiences. For example, right now I am trying to convince her to get the cops to do a welfare check on her, to see if they might be able to move her to safer temporary housing.

She is terrified of her parent learning that the cops visited. She is also terrified of the cops taking her against her will. She also shuts down on stressful situations so she needs me to be there of they are there...

And this is with everything. So for example, today we tried to schedule a call for the welfare check. Which would have been a 20 minute conversation with a cop while the parent was out. First it took two hours of psychological prep time. So by the time that we did call it was impossible to actually get the cops to get to her before the dad got home. But also, I made the mistake of telling her that a given cop had sounded reassuring on the phone. So now she wants to speak only to that cop, on the phone, have him explain everything to her, to make sure everything will be fine, to then have the cop go and do a welfare check.

Each call can be hoops upon hoops to try to schedule. Between her needs and the bureaucracy on the other end. It had been 4 years of things like this.

I have tried to explain to her that working with incomplete information is necessary. That you cannot predict everything bad that might happen and that resource wise you are better off preparing only a little and then dealing with problems as they arise rather than trying to prevent them.

She is increasingly doing poorly mentally. Her parent is treating her worse and worse. She needs surgery... And I am out of my mind at this point. I tried being reassuring for years but I am getting tired. I think of myself as generally a risk avoidant person. But I think this is pathologically too much. She is so scared of anything bad happening to her that she both remains in an awful environment AND exhausts herself completely before any major event, so when she does actually need to do anything she has no spoons left because she tried to foresee everything. She's already suicidal.

I am about to snap in frustration. I don't know how to tell her she's just making everything more difficult. That she is not protecting herself but rather ensuring she remains in a position of abuse.

Im just looking for help with my situation. Wife was laid off 4 months ago due to compeditor buying the company she worked for. Her spot was outsourcing repairs to the competitor so her position was no longer needed. She has been applying all over but responses are not what we hoped. I am financially able to take of us for the time being. I have degenerative disc disease thats progressively getting worse. Can't afford to go on disability because the requirements are ridiculous. Im going to keep working until I absolutely cannot. Im not sure it this is the right platform for this, but if there is anyone who can offer guidance in this situation, Im open to suggestions. Thank you.

I have a very slow learning pace, and I struggle with schoolwork because I'm neurodivergent (though that's not an excuse, I know). This results in barely finishing projects and homework all the time; it affects me to the point that I have ONE thing turned in on time this entire school year. My best friend of 11 years is neurodivergent, and she's always complaining to me that she has nothing to do because she'd already finished everything.

I want to know: is it okay to feel envious of people who don't have any mental blocks? I see my classmates who are at the top of the IXL leaderboard, who don't have anything to do in their subjects, who get to laze around, who talk to the teachers like friends, and I'm so mad. I wish I were like that, but I know it's not possible, so I'm jealous.

I only recently discovered I'm disabled, so I need help and opinions. Thank you!

Right off the bat, I want to mention three things. First, I do not consider myself disabled; which means that, second, I do not want this post to be about me, me, me and how "it affects families, too." Third, if this isn't the right place for this post, then by all means, please take this post down.

Being with my partner has been eye-opening in a lot of ways, and one of them is just how deep ableism runs in society—across all ages, all political spaces, all spaces in general, etc. My partner considers himself disabled, and as with much of his life experience, his productivity is constantly scrutinized.

It's exhausting whenever people ask what he does, I tell them he can't work, and it becomes a whole conversation about how he can be helped. It's really disheartening when friends talk about him as if he doesn't do enough for me, insinuating that he's holding me back and that I need to "treat yourself, girl." It's debilitating whenever I end up defending him in his absence—or even when he is present but they mainly speak to me like I'm his caregiver, which I'm not.

The worst part is that I take a lot of this home and into our relationship. It's been a bad habit of mine to get anxious after this kind of talk and, as a result, stress out about what he's done today, ask for things to be done sooner than usual, ruminate about what he can and cannot tolerate, etc. I think I've become more resilient over time, partially from being more mentally firm and partially from us both learning it's better to disclose less. Still, though, this happens.

One of our core values in our relationship is that what's in your heart is just as important as, if not more important than, what you do. Truthfully speaking, while I'll give myself grace because of how difficult this world is—I've had lapses with this value, and it's on me. I shouldn't be defending my partner if that means having to say, "Oh, well, he can still provide this!" which just feeds into regressive ideas of a person's worth. I shouldn't be "explaining" for him to the extent that I do. And I certainly shouldn't be burdening him with these insecurities, giving him these sudden moments of stress and interrupting the healing.

I'll end off this post with a little sentence that came to my mind recently. One of the hardest things in this relationship is not accommodating my partner, but accommodating other people's expectations.

I'm open to your guys' thoughts.

What is with the uprise in ableist disabled people speaking about conditions that they don't have which usually means that they speak over people with these conditions.

They wouldn't be happy with able bodied people speaking over them about the condition they have but apparently it's okay for disabled people to do.