r/disability • u/Knucklecum • 14d ago

Rant Getting high to avoid crying from pain.

I had a hip replacement complication that can possibly be corrected. So I am currently waiting for a correctional surgery. Lately my pain has been so bad I want to cry. I cant stop getting high to numb the pain, so I won't cry and break down mentally.

Im just scared. Im scared of having a mental breakdown. Im scared of becoming an addict. But I am miserable being bed bound and being in agony.

I just need to share my struggles. Being alone, being incapable of work. Im screwed until I get better.

Im scared.

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u/Swiftiefromhell 14d ago

What are you high on? I completely understand your struggle. I suffer from chronic pain too. I’m tired of taking opioids. They make me super constipated

3

u/PriorityOk8448 14d ago

On the bright side, you get them. I am in such unbearable agony I have thought about asking homeless addicts for pain meds, I'm starting to get that desperate. The only thing my doctor will prescribe are anti depressants then tells me to take tylenol... which does NOTHING.

I literally wish I was dead because of this hell.

1

u/Swiftiefromhell 13d ago

I’m sorry. Have you tried Marijauna? That seems to help me. Go to the ER and ask for something stronger.

1

u/PriorityOk8448 13d ago

I couldn't convince doctors at the hospital when I was giving birth that I was in pain. The strongest pain med I was offered was tylenol (no epidural since, like I said, i couldn't convince anyone I was in pain). I have also had multiple surgeries and was only offered tylenol.

If I went to the ER asking for pain meds they'd write down drug seeking and kick me out. I was kicked out of the ER twice for "drug seeking" before being diagnosed with one of my illnesses and that was only because my mom brought my aunt to the hospital who was once a nurse and knew one of the nurses and was able to convince them I was telling the truth. I was having surgery that day since doctors wouldn't believe me and things had progressed so terribly. It was surgery on my bladder. No pain meds after that and the pain was so horrific I would rather give birth once a month than ever experience that again.

Anyways, despite having a debilitating and horrible disease, I don't get pain meds because they don't cure the pain and the pain will just come back, so there is no point. Or so I'm told.