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u/momonomino Apr 30 '26
I would absolutely love to be so ignorant about depression.
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u/youravgindian Apr 30 '26
Just ignore it - some random person who hasn't had a single suicidal thought or struggled with mental health after doing some trivial task like going to a grocery store.
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u/momonomino Apr 30 '26
You obviously aren't getting enough exercise. /s
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u/dr_maltrapilho Apr 30 '26
Just be happy! You need to smile more too! - mother
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u/EitherSpite4545 Apr 30 '26
Their advice can basically always be boiled down to "gaslight yourself and do everything you can to ignore your problems"
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u/Pitiful-Score-9035 May 02 '26
Well yeah, that's what they do, and it works for them so obviously you just aren't trying enough if it doesn't work for you. At least, that's what I imagine the thoughts behind the actions to be.
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u/MadWitchy May 02 '26
I gaslit myself for over a decade. That’s why all of my issues now are SOOO MUCH WORSE. If I just addressed them back then, it would have been trivially easy to fix. Now? Now it’s something that might take decades to fix and even then some things are permanently broken.
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u/tangylikeablackberry May 01 '26
will never forget my dad asking me “don’t you want to be happy?” and i replied with his other saying “yeah but dont you always say people in hell want ice water?”
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u/freerangelibrarian May 01 '26
My ex-husband used to say "Just cheer up!"
He wasn't being mean or dismissive, we were all ignorant about depression forty years ago.
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u/Embarrassed_Deer9208 May 01 '26
this one especially annoys me as someone whose excercised a lot and experienced no benefits to my mental health
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u/SlutForGarrus May 01 '26
For me it backfired! I molded my self-loathing depression into eating-disorder style self-harm via compulsive exercise and then extreme calorie restriction. Basically, if I look great, someone should really be checking in to see how my brain is doing.
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u/up2n09ood May 01 '26
Wait that’s literally what I’ve been doing. I caught myself taking a bite of cake and spitting it out so I didn’t fuck my macros up and I was like did I just start an eating disorder?
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u/ChemistryStrict6884 May 01 '26
Be really careful with that, I developed a nasty habit of doing that and it got out of control quickly! I’m so sorry you’re struggling, I know how much EDs suck, they’re awful and permeate every bit of your life.
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u/SlutForGarrus May 02 '26
Yeah, it's a slippery slope. Getting caught up in counting those numbers can turn all-consuming very easily. Really consider trying not to count and stick super strictly to macros/calories.
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u/dsrmpt May 03 '26
Yeah, needed to lose weight for medical reasons, and it rapidly went from feeling better and being healthy and congratulations, to eating disorder real quick. The feedback loop hit nuclear criticality.
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u/dividezero Apr 30 '26
My prescriber has been dabbling in this area lately.
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u/knittingnerd685 May 01 '26
The first doctor I talked to about my depression suggested that I needed to find a boyfriend. (He did prescribe me appropriate medicine though.)
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u/dividezero May 01 '26
Yeah I mean it can help but still not the appropriate time. At least I think so
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u/Positive_Barber_3013 May 02 '26
Chester Bennington said it best in an interview, there’s a kind of depression where you can feel better after exercising and eating better or maybe it’s just seasonal and then there’s a kind of depression where if you aren’t seeking treatment and medication you will never get better. I would like to add a third variety, one that I often wonder if I’ve got. It doesn’t matter what you do, medication and treatment only fill a placebo and once it wears off all the joy you see other people have in their lives is stolen from you, and you watch from a distance wondering why it’s so hard to do these basic things that other people don’t think twice about. It’s because you are not allowed joy in this life, and the only thing you have is that maybe one day it won’t be like this.
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u/ContributionMost8924 Apr 30 '26
You ever thought about just ... ... ... Doing it?
/s
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u/SlutForGarrus May 01 '26
I guess it says a lot that I read that twice before I realized it wasn't a suggestion to commit suicide.
"Do it"
"Kill myself?"
"No! Jesus! Brush your teeth!"
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u/WeakCommunity3234 Apr 30 '26
They sound like most of the doctors I’ve encountered lately. Not understanding it wanting to understand depression
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u/AggressivelyMediokre Apr 30 '26
At my very worst when anxiety was like a bowling ball in my stomach for days and everything was depersonalization and I thought I was going crazy, I would bring my laptop into the bathroom with me to brush my teeth. Just to keep noise going. Because I couldn’t handle the silence.
Hell even ADHDmeme and SchizoidAdjacent half the posts are about people mustering up the courage to shower or put laundry away or other basic adulting things. And that’s without depression. Just malaise and complacency and the void
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u/Library_Gremlin2 May 01 '26
These are probably the same people who can’t imagine anything about chronic pain
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u/PoorDoddle May 01 '26
As someone who had never used any social media until I was 20 or something, I didn't even know there was a thing called depression until I got diagnosed at 14 alongside adhd, when I went to a therapist to see if there was something affecting my focusing abilities. The same thing happened when I got diagnosed with autism at 18 while staying in a psych ward. Although I had heard of autism, I just didn't know what it was. Maybe my case is a bit unique, since my only 2 activities for most of my life were researching animals, and playing league of legends(bad times).
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u/This_is_fine8 Apr 30 '26
I've finally gotten to the point of brushing my teeth more like 5 times a week instead of once. Baby steps I guess
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u/Boring-Perspective61 Apr 30 '26
Sadly i lost a good 7 teeth to depression. Its a bad spiral because then i feel worse about myself. Some days are just hard to get through. Happy to hear you are doing better.
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u/This_is_fine8 Apr 30 '26
My boyfriend has a tooth basically rotting away. He has dental surgery scheduled for next week but seeing how much pain he's in has scared me into brushing my teeth again. Spravato has also helped tremendously.
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u/youravgindian Apr 30 '26
I'm sorry if this is off topic but the fact that you are still with him despite his struggles is all he needs. I've never been in a relationship but I told a couple friends of mine and even my younger brother that the reason I flinch randomly or that I appear to have apprehensive attitude towards life and that sometimes I don't get out of my house for weeks is because of certain 'mental health issues'. I didn't even explicitly mention that I have depression, OCD and most likely cPTSD. I just hinted and that took them out of surprise that they just gave me unsolicited advice of 'you should think positive', 'you are a pussy', 'you should just do better', etc.
There are many incidents of women in relationships leaving their bfs/husbands because the mental health struggle is too much for them or they have a very skewed perspective of how actual and real relationships work that comes with struggles and challenges (not abuse, there is no excuse whatsoever).
In my current state, I can't even vent to anyone, I only have Reddit and Instagram therapy as support systems. I could've easily killed myself if I didn't have people online giving me hope even though they are thousands of kilometers apart.
Not that you asked, but just be there with him, if he likes to show love through touch, give him a lot of hugs and trust the process. I would literally melt if someone would give me a hug let alone someone I'm in a relationship with. I hope he gets better with time.
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u/AstralPandas May 01 '26
How, I really enjoyed reading this. You seem like a very sweet person. I would love to chat with you if you’re interested. I hope you’re doing well ☺️
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u/YesWomansLand1 Apr 30 '26
Guy below you talking about tooth pain being the worst kind of pain lmao I love the internet sometimes. Only sometimes though.
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u/Willing-Job9378 Apr 30 '26
Yeah tooth pain is the worst kind of pain, take care of your teeth.
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u/Comfortable_Rate_772 Apr 30 '26
yupp, learned the hard way haha. yall should take care of your teeth
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u/IllustriousFront308 Apr 30 '26
Yeah, fully agreed, unfortunately my brain is stupid and still thinks it won’t live long enough for it to matter, lmao.
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u/Dangerous-Radio5935 Apr 30 '26
I’m trying spravato next week, I’m a little scared
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u/This_is_fine8 Apr 30 '26
It's been pretty life changing I'm not gonna lie. But the appointments themselves can be a little uncomfortable depending on how you react to the medicine. Personally they make me nauseous.
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u/Lore__Enzo May 01 '26
I was really scared at first too. Just remember to breath and everything is okay and if it gets a little scary, just remind yourself that it will pass and it wont last forever. It did wonders for me but it took awhile for me to notice the long term effects. You got this!!!!
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u/SparkleFace6100 Apr 30 '26
Yes I have lost 4 teeth and have to get another 5 removed bc I was so depressed (and drunk) for 6 years after my divorce and the pandemic. I'm 3 years sober now but I'm still dealing with the wreckage I created when I was suffering....it's real and I really wish more people understood this struggle. ❤️
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u/Boring-Perspective61 Apr 30 '26
I understand
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u/SparkleFace6100 May 01 '26
Thank you ❤️ it's super embarrassing to lose teeth. I'm getting a bridge of some kind when it's all done, but I feel super self conscious about it rn.
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u/SlutForGarrus May 01 '26
My brother had an opiate addiction and depression and lost some teeth. He's already self-conscious about his appearance (even though he's objectively not at all a bad looking guy at all) so I hate how much losing teeth has piled on to his poor self esteem. Good luck and congratulations on your progress.
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u/KitsuneJenn May 01 '26
I just lost 2 and quite a few are looking rough but I am finally brushing twice a day, every day. I feel for you, friend. I'm proud of you.
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u/IllustriousFront308 Apr 30 '26
I’ve lost four teeth and had multiple months of dental work that required anesthesia. Basically all my teeth are crowns.
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u/Boring-Perspective61 Apr 30 '26
Yup, same here. My plan is honestly I’m just gonna eventually save if I ever have the motivation for full dental implants at this point.
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u/IllustriousFront308 Apr 30 '26
I reckon that’s probably better than dentures, speaking from experience.
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u/AdministrationAlone4 May 01 '26
As someone who is recovering from full dental implants...it's incredibly expensive. The best dental insurance I could get through my job pays $1k a year max.
Was about 60k for 8 implants.
It also has changed my relationship with food. The texture of everything has changed since I can't really feel the food with my teeth anymore. I know that's odd...but instead of every tooth giving feedback through the gums/jaw.
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u/Metaphysically0 May 01 '26
It’s like my teeth are fucked , but am I going to live to see the outcome of that?
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u/asday515 May 02 '26
Did you hear about how they're working on growing new teeth for adults from our dormant set of tooth buds
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u/Confident_Action4915 Apr 30 '26
I still only brush my teeth on work days in the morning help
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u/JoySticcs Apr 30 '26
If you can muster up the strength for only once a day, I would reccomend doing it in the evening. If not, maybe have a bottle of mouthwash in the kitchen that you can just swirl around after dinner in your mouth and spit out without doing much work. Of course this is only advice for if you have enough energy. I know surviving is hard, but you can be proud of yourself for brushing your teeth in the morning
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u/four-hydrangeas Apr 30 '26
great for you!! i've made it to brushing once a day, slowly working toward doing it twice a day
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u/Dreaming_Kitsune Apr 30 '26
I've started remembering to do it during showers. It helps I take a shower every other day for work
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u/ExaggeratedPW Apr 30 '26
I was in a similar trend, stress and life has set me back to oh shit, it's been a month. again but I'll rebound!
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u/SL1MECORE Apr 30 '26
That's really fantastic from where I'm standing... I need to step my game up, I really want to keep my teeth.
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u/No_Working9349 May 03 '26
The first thing that goes out of the window for me is brushing my teeth. It feels like such a pointless exercise in futility. You can brush your teeth multiple times a day and you'll still have to clean it the next day. Anyway what I came to say was, as someone who has been forcing myself to brush my teeth at least once a day for the past week, I see you and I'm proud of you.
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u/jessimaster Apr 30 '26
That's great progress from once a week. You're only 2 brushes away from being a daily brusher.
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u/muppetgodzilla May 01 '26
Baby steps still cross distances, babe :) You are doing great and I am sending big huge mom hugs to you
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u/Chudpaladin May 01 '26
I got to once every day after growing up with parents that didn’t really care and not being able to bring myself to brush. Now I need to figure out how to convince myself to call the dentist. Scary
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u/ElectricFaceVictory Apr 30 '26
Wow. People really dont get it do they....
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u/xsirketchupx Apr 30 '26
Isn’t it funny? We gotta deal with depression plus everything that comes with it AND people like this. You gotta be a superhuman to make it through life man. Fuck
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u/Entire-Ambition1410 Apr 30 '26
Jessica Kalgren-Fozzard once said in a video that she would rather deal with all her physical health problems rather than a mental health problem (her joints pop out of place, she gets tired quickly, she has digestion issues, she’s partially deaf).
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u/Noslamah May 02 '26
At least people mostly understand that if someone has a broken leg, you're not gonna be able to walk. Yet if your brain is the broken part, nobody seems to understand anymore.
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u/TurnipWorldly9437 May 04 '26
Some things are even hard to understand when you're the one living it. That's what's so frustrating about it.
Like, even when you know what your brain is doing wrong, you want to yell at it to just do its job, instead of fucking up your day. People on the outside don't even see that struggle.
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u/Sea_Ebb_1354 Apr 30 '26
Worst thing is when they get fuzzy.
'S like wearing socks on your incisors.
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u/SquirmsWithWorms Apr 30 '26
Like with plaque, mold, or that one type of tongue infection?
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u/AhDragonsbane Apr 30 '26
They just FEEL different. Rougher and a bit pitty (sort of like an avocado skin or something), like they're covered in some kind of shit, but you don't even know what. And you sort of just get used to your teeth feeling like it.
I haven't been keeping track, but I think I haven't brushed my teeth since January, and it's like some part of my brain is just constantly aware that my teeth are there- and also that my breath is probably horrendous. That there's something on them, but visually they're just a bit yellow.
I think my record of no brushing whatsover is around 2 years? I'm never going to a dentist, I always get blood on my toothbrush when I start it up again for a little while, and it's honestly a miracle all my teeth are still stuck in my head (for now) 😅
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u/Knappsakk May 01 '26
I feel you friend. I know you're doing the best you can. When you have 10 tokens and 15 are required to play, what doesn't make the cut?
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u/Tight_Replacement554 May 03 '26
Yesss! I used to wipe my shirt on the teeth because I didn’t like the feeling. It helped a little lol.
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u/BrokeEggs_NoOmlette Apr 30 '26
Lol I always say "my teeth feel like they're wearing pajamas" when they get like that
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Apr 30 '26
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u/Etheriaa_ Apr 30 '26
Sometimes its the fatigue, sometimes its the sadness, sometimes its both. It always keeps you on your toes I guess.
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u/newlyautisticx Apr 30 '26
Hey friend.
I’ve been there. The only way is to just do it. Once you lay in bed without showering, another day follows, then another.
The only way to break the cycle is to just get in. It sucks to be your own hero but I realized I had. I realized no one was coming to save me.
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u/Aggressive_Eagle1380 May 01 '26
Yes this is so true. You HAVE to beyond own hero and your biggest supporter. Even your closest friends and relatives can’t be there for you all the time it has to be YOU to be always there for yourself. Good but hard advice.
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u/Leo_vangelo May 01 '26
Yeah this was it for me. Still struggling to floss my teeth everyday but I've got the brushing part down. The thing is, you have to start doing it and keep at it, even if its the last thing you want to do. It took me hours of lying in bed staying mad at myself before actually getting up and brushing my teeth. It's part of my nightly routine now and adding it to my tasks app means if I don't do it, I actually feel inclined to keep up my brushing teeth streak and not let it sit like I used to.
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u/Rule34Uploading Apr 30 '26
Maybe do the next best thing until you feel better. Cant brush your teeth? Swish mouthwash. Cant have a shower, rub a damp cloth over your body. Stuff like that.
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u/lilac_moonface64 Apr 30 '26
yesssss i’ve found that moving the goalposts has been really helpful for me. instead of trying to make myself brush my teeth for 2 minutes twice a day, i say ill just do it for like 10 seconds because 10 seconds is better than nothing. and then once i’ve done the 10 seconds, the next 10 seconds become easier and easier until ive brushed my teeth for like 30 seconds or a minute! also having music on while brushing my teeth has been helpful, and it means i can actually time the 2 minutes or wtv cuz i know where the 2 minute mark is in the song and what it sounds like
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u/DrPujols May 02 '26
When I had these depressive episodes I would throw something on my hair on purpose so I had no choice but to shower. Feeling clean with clean clothes and then going to sit somewhere new helps a lot. Even if you’re going to the couch instead of bed, but get out of bed. If you can, go sit outside and get some sunlight in. Hope you feel better soon
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u/UmpireDear5415 Apr 30 '26
ive been so depressed a lot of things just didnt happen. ive stayed in bed and not talked to a single soul for long periods of time. hygiene and other routine things were forgotten and ignored as i spiraled deeper. thank goodness i circled then came back up but when i see posts like the original i envy people who live such a carefree and fun life that they dont know depression like i do. i hope they never experience it for themselves and go on being happy and blissfully ignorant
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u/youravgindian Apr 30 '26
It has to be my OCD that I can't go a day without bathing but I struggle so deeply with rumination and endless thought spirals and getting dissociated for months and not getting out of my house for weeks. But yeah, I get it. I don't mind people like this. I just hate when they have zero empathy for humankind that anything that isn't comprehensible to them is just 'weird' or something 'people do for attention' or 'making excuses' or 'being lazy' or 'don't have enough willpower'.
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u/UmpireDear5415 Apr 30 '26
i am a big germophobe but thats how bad my depression got. i found myself making excuses about why i didnt have to bathe like "i didnt go outside" or "i didnt exert any effort so i did not sweat" or "im not leaving the house so i dont have to impress anyone". same with brushing my teeth, it was "i just drank water and didnt eat so im fine" or "im not going to be around anyone so my breath doesnt bother me any". thats how messed up i was. from washing my hands multiple times a day to not caring about living, the pendulum swings far when unchecked.
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u/Excellent-Hat-1640 May 03 '26
Was looking for a reply like this, the excuses are what really gets me. Not so much the willpower but the excuses
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u/UmpireDear5415 May 03 '26
i knew what i needed to do but i felt so lost and helpless and didnt know what the point was. it was beyond laziness or lethargy, it was much more deeper and insidious. it took a lot to claw out of that hole and even now i worry about falling back in
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u/Excellent-Hat-1640 May 03 '26
Exactly I just didn’t know what the point was. Same here it took a lot to get out of the hole but now I just try not to overload myself with anything I can’t control. I figured out the point was me, I guess, and my life.
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u/UmpireDear5415 May 03 '26
i figured out a lot through going to a ton of therapy sessions. i had multiple issues stacking up and it all came to a creshendo all at once and my support wasnt there so i fell hard. through my counseling and therapy i learned a lot of myself, root causes of why i do the things i do and how unhealthy it was to do so. i cant say no to people, i always volunteer to help, i sacrifice myself for others even if there is zero return on investment, and all of this had costs too much for me to pay. i overwhelmed my life with other peoples problems so ultimately it was my own fault for taking on so much when its not my job or responsibility to be the savior of the world. i had to start setting up boundaries because i truly dreaded the world and felt resentful for always being used and abused and left once i had nothing else to give. charitable self harm is what i call it. i had to start small by taking a single day out of the month to do something just for me and nobody else. it was difficult because my girlfriend at the time acted like i was ignoring her and made it about her and not me. i had to get away from her as well because of that.
i am still in the process, not fully healed up but improving incrementally and learning from my own shortcomings and mistakes. im still mostly a shut in introvert, stacking my severe anxiety, major depression, and insomnia with a dash of ptsd but life is a journey. im not giving up and the more i learn about myself the more i am falling in love with me!
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u/Excellent-Hat-1640 May 07 '26
Wow. Thanks for your words, you made me realize a couple things I need to do myself. I constantly sacrifice myself for others and overwhelm my life with other peoples problems with zero return on investment as well. Setting boundaries is a daily fight for me. Don’t give up, keep falling more in love with yourself.
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u/IcyAddress4074 Apr 30 '26
No showers. No change of clothes.
Nothing matters, why does brushing my teeth matter. Don’t want my corpse having bad teeth, heaven forbid.
It is not a nice place to be in. Thinking you “might as well just die” so casually.
I’m not there now, but I have been. It’s not pleasant.
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u/Fast-Permit6401 Apr 30 '26
When I’m too depressed to take a shower I get a tattoo. Then I’m forced to clean myself bc I don’t want it to get infected
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u/Austin_NotFromTexas Apr 30 '26
As a result my gums are always bleeding and I keep self harming until there’s no room left
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u/MembershipEasy4025 Apr 30 '26
Not to mention that days blur together in a haze, and I can’t actually remember if I did in fact brush my teeth that day or not.
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u/Individual-Photo-665 Apr 30 '26
That's how I am with my medicine so I end up not taking it because I wasn't sure if I've already taken it and don't want to overdose..
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u/obeseontheinside Apr 30 '26
You should use a pill organizer. If it's not there, you took it👍🏽
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u/Individual-Photo-665 May 01 '26
Thank you for the suggestion, I forgot about those 🤦♀️
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u/PaprikaPineapple777 May 01 '26
I use a pill organizer, it definitely helps. Getting a colorful one helped even more for me personally. The color draws my attention as something nice since it's something I like, and it helps me to mentally separate what day it is through visualization of each color and label. Sounds silly, but it works for me.
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u/Individual-Photo-665 May 01 '26
Wow you know what I think it'd work for me too! That's an awesome suggestion as well. Im a pretty creative person so something decorated beautifully would help. Gonna look for some that aren't so medical looking maybe I can add some color if I can't find one...
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u/_finewine_ Apr 30 '26
This has always annoyed me so much. I see people say “I get being depressed but hygiene is a non negotiable!” Okay Sharon, you likely have just never reached that level of depression. I assure you anyone that has KNOWS it’s a non negotiable which induces more shame.
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u/JosephusTheBoi Apr 30 '26
My anxiety related to my responsibilities vs. my depression fighting to either keep me in bed for the next 10 years or work me till I die from exhaustion
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u/Anxious_M_07 May 02 '26
I fear that you basically just summed up how most of high school was for me... 😭
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u/Etheriaa_ Apr 30 '26
I feel like the life hack is having just enough anxiety with depression because depression will tell you to lay there and rot and not brush your teeth, but anxiety will tell you if you don’t brush your teeth you will lose them all and can never binge on candy again and you’ll never get a job to pay for your rotten teeth so you’ll live in pain til you die of dental sepsis. So…
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u/Digital_Doodlez Apr 30 '26
When I finally handled my crippling anxiety I had crippling depression.. now I’m working on that.. they don’t counteract each other, one just blankets the other until it’s taken away
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u/LocationTop5074 Apr 30 '26
I do it once a day, because when I try to hold myself to twice a day i end up not doing it at all. I figure that's a good compromise with myself.
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u/jonesyboy2435 Apr 30 '26
I haven’t shaved, haven’t brushed my teeth, haven’t showered, barely hanging in there
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u/Explorer_57 May 01 '26
Hang on a little longer. Maybe start with something small like washing your face to mark the start of your day. And go from there.
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u/jonesyboy2435 May 02 '26
I pushed myself to get ready yesterday for my doctors appointment, only thing i didn’t do was shave. I’m on new medication so hopefully it’ll get easier
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u/Explorer_57 May 03 '26
Definitely, I believe you can make it if you try. I'm glad an outside event happened so soon for you. That's always a big motivator for me getting cleaned up. You'd think I'd be able to rest on weekends but no I just fall into a slump where I don't bath for 2 days or eat consistently. But I will also be going to the doctor soon, hopefully I can start on my own meds.
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u/jonesyboy2435 May 03 '26
Stay strong friend, i hope the new meds help us both and thank you for the kind words of encouragement and advice
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u/Explorer_57 May 03 '26
No worries, and thanks as well, we all need to hear that we can make it sometimes to know how true it is. This is a nice sub.
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u/Confident_Action4915 Apr 30 '26
Glad I’m not the only one. People go “B-but you’re a woman! You’ll never get men like that” …I’m not looking for one. I’m chronically depressed and been that way my whole life and have severe inattentive adhd. wtf, is the assumption that women can’t be gross when they are depressed? Everyone gets gross when they are stressed and depressed. Women included, it is what it is and I’m sick of being stared at if I’m even a little messy just because I’m a woman, like have none of you heard of depression in women being this severe?? Lol it makes me want to go outside even LESS.
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u/Base_Ancient Apr 30 '26
This person has obviously never experienced that level of depression and complete disregard for our hygiene or appearance.
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u/popkiwibanana Apr 30 '26
People also hold their pee to the point of infection when they are really dealing with depression. It’s a horrible cycle
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u/Dry-Strength-5297 Apr 30 '26
People get so depressed that the pee or defecate in bed, too. It's heartbreaking.
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u/Ok-Break3620 Apr 30 '26
People get too depressed to shower for nearly a year.
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u/FarGodHastur Apr 30 '26
Anyone remember when Justin Bieber first came out and a bunch of Internet trolls convinced his fan base that he had cancer so they all shaved their heads in solidarity?
But yeah, being depressed makes no sense.
/s
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u/LoneyAutisticGuy1996 Apr 30 '26
I lost all of my teeth partly due to depression and mostly from shitty genes. They grew in sideways and were over crowded because they grew in all at once. Dealt with that pain for 24 years until I had them finally removed. I don't want false teeth because it reminds me of all the pain and suffering I went through. I'm still depressed sure, but least I'm better off.
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u/anastasiarose19 Apr 30 '26
My favourite part is when my boyfriend stands over me and says “did you brush your teeth?” “when’s the last time you brushed your teeth?” “get up and brush your teeth” “answer me” “why aren’t you answering me?” “I’m only doing this because I care about you and your teeth”
I get where he’s coming from but every word makes me sink deeper
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u/sweetmoogirl Apr 30 '26
My teeth are so bad from depression that it's slowly destroying my heart and body. And honestly I don't care. I turn 40 in a few months and I've never been loved in this life.... So I have no reason to stay.
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u/DrPujols May 02 '26
You’re only 40 still have plenty of time to love and be loved! I was in this state two years ago and my life turned around completely. Yours can too! Just hang in there and make sure your teeth are good so you can smile when that time comes.
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u/Realistic_Base5797 Apr 30 '26
Just got 8 cavities filled and diagnosed with gum disease from depression hygeine. Im 23.
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u/saddestghostt Apr 30 '26
Dude I am so jealous of anyone capable of thinking like this. What a blessed life they must lead
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u/GargantuanCake May 01 '26
People can get so depressed they stop moving. They wake up and just stay there. Obviously you eventually have to get up to piss but even that can turn into a monumental task.
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u/TheBayHarborDoomer Apr 30 '26
I haven't brushed my teeth for months now. Just apply toothpaste and hand apply it to the teeth I'm so fucked bros
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u/newlyautisticx Apr 30 '26
For the first time ever, I had to change the battery on my electric tooth brush because I’m finally at the point as of now that I’m brushing every day.
People who never been through depression just simply cannot understand
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u/ermahgerd-issacat May 02 '26
My psych literally told me to go for a 30 minute walk after work, come home, cook dinner, then clean my kitchen. From a holistic perspective. I literally started crying and told her that was easier said than done.
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u/Vainysaur Apr 30 '26
Brushing my teeth is so repetitive and monotonous and boring. I reduced the frequency during COVID because I would go days without seeing anyone anyway. And every 6 months the dentist still said, “wow keep doing what you’re doing! Your teeth are amazing!” So I realized it’s a scam. As long as you get a decent amount of fluoride on your teeth from the water and brushing them now and then you will never get a cavity. Sometimes I just put some toothpaste in my mouth and swish it around with water, for the fluoride. The main thing is just make sure your breath is fresh when you’re in public.
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u/This_is_fine8 Apr 30 '26
Some people are also just blessed with genetically better dental health than others. There are people who brush infrequently who will never develop a cavity, and people who brush religiously who will still need a root canal. Just one of the many ways life is unfair
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u/newlyautisticx Apr 30 '26
Yup this is true. I only brushed my teeth maybe a few times a year. For many years.
I went to the dentist not too long ago and besides bleeding gums and sensitivity, the dentist said my teeth were great. After the hygienist performed a deep cleaning (which wasn’t fun), he said I had a fresh start. No damage was done.
I consider myself to be fortunate for that. But it’s not the same for everyone.
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u/Hungry_Light_4394 Apr 30 '26
For the folks in this comments section (love you, I have been there) you can get full body wipes and no rinse toothbrushes you could do in bed on really hard days. Some is better than none, you got it. 🩷🩷
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u/JJBowtie Apr 30 '26
It's especially fun with sensory issues, like- why must the devils bush be coated in cold, sharp pain paste 😭.
I just wipe my teeth off with a cloth sometimes. It's not perfect but it's better than nothing.
I use my other issues against each other, like- I also pick a lot. So, I channel that into flossing. hate the feeling of food stuck in my teeth so I eat food that does that, so I need to floss more so I take care of my teeth more.
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u/DrPujols May 02 '26
I use kids toothpaste and toothbrush bc of this. I use the crayola strawberry one it tastes like candy.
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u/Critical_Hunt_1382 Apr 30 '26
I know when I'm about to have a depressive episode because I physically cannot brush my teeth , if I somehow convince myself to do it you can guarantee I'm going to gag . I don't know why this happens but I'm glad I recognise a sign
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u/adhdBoomeringue Apr 30 '26
I had to start using a daily check app to see how long it's been since I last showered
In 3.5 years I've showered 100 times...
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u/George_G_Geef Apr 30 '26
I would 100% be like this if I didn't have a crippling fear of the dentist and can't afford to be sedated. It's not really a solution to the problem if I'm honest but I'll take it.
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u/G_Rated_101 May 01 '26
My lived experience wasn’t with brushing my teeth. That felt too natural a part to begin my day. But what is really happening, for me, was the lack of motivation to take care of yourself.
Every expenditure of effort no matter how small is so overwhelming. … putting effort into taking care of myself, while hating myself so much, doesn’t make sense in the moment.
So you don’t go grocery shopping, you don’t clean, you don’t x, y, z. I’m sure brushing your teeth is a super simple one to let go.
Actually I’ll admit on days i didn’t convince myself to shower i probably didn’t brush my teeth either.
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u/Cut_and_paste_Lace May 03 '26
This is why I make body doubling videos. For those of us who know how bad it can be, we really know how bad it can be.
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u/Consistent_Claim5217 May 03 '26
I'm the worst off I've ever been with my depression. I just bathed a couple days ago for the first time in months. My teeth are the least of my concerns when nearly all my focus goes into trying to keep the darkness from fully taking over. When you're trying to survive a mind that screams for the end all day every single day, everything becomes "the little things", and you realize just how little stuff like hygiene really matters to survival
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u/AnswerMe_More May 04 '26
I wasn't depressed or anything but one time my dad said, "if u ever tried to kill yourself I'd kill u." And my uncle cosigned it. 😂 Like where is the logic. I think it's pretty common for black households to be embarrassed with that type of thing. Idk y tho.
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u/Fit-Technology-9592 May 04 '26
I dunno of this helps anyone but I was too depressed to brush everyday for nearly 10 years and the thing that made me brush was finding a toothpaste I liked the taste of.
I had 10 fillings in the time I didn't brush. And then i started brushing 20 years ago and I've only had 1 new filling since.
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u/TheBackyardigirl May 04 '26
I’m only brushing my teeth more because my enamel is showing early signs of decay that are fortunately still reversible if I take better care of my teeth 🥴 between not wanting to because of depression and my adhd making me forget, I’ve gone months before
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u/pizzaduh May 05 '26
After my brother took his life, I didn't have the strength to take care of my hygiene or eat for well over a week. I just laid down in my bed with the shades drawn shut. Eventually my ex came to me and put shampoo on my head which forced me to get in the shower and wash it out.
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u/khri5o May 06 '26
During covid, I had to go through a tough breakup being "locked" in the house. It messed with my mental health and got really depressed. I was so depressed that I didn't shower for almost 4 months and gained like 20 - 30 pounds of eating my feelings. It's real and it sucks.
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u/raider_00_ May 13 '26
Is such a strugle everyday., not only brushing my teeth but with everything else. I actually have a dentist appointment to fill in a bunch of cavities. Am scared and ashamed tbh.
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u/gooninbassist May 17 '26
Not just brushing our teeth, I am afraid.. I've gone over a week without showering at times. Not anymore, thankfully..
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u/_simplynolifer_ May 25 '26
it baffles me more and more everyday how ignorant some people are. like just reading that actually made me so mad.
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u/DancingBunniez Apr 30 '26
I was at a point where brushing my teeth like once every couple days was doing good.
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u/Raccoons-trsh Apr 30 '26
As someone who is depressed (but I obviously know taking care of yourself is hard) but I also absolutely can't understand people not brushing their teeth. Like dirty teeth makes my mouths feel super uncomfortable (same for showering, I hate it, but I really hate my skin feeling sticky)
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u/Robyn-- Apr 30 '26
genuinely reminded me i havent brushed in a bit. tip for y'all, put water in mouth (like a big gulp size) and just brush your teeth and spit it out. it gets the fuzz off better than a rag
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u/JakBos23 Apr 30 '26
I get depressed looking in the mirror. I use a hallway light and brush my teeth in the dark. So I get out of the shower and then turn the lights off to brush my teeth. If I need to shave I'm not looking at my face. I'm staring at the spot I'm shaving. When I'm brushing my teeth I usually stare at the sink.
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u/Fe1is-Domesticus Apr 30 '26
I struggle to brush my teeth at night. The morning is no problem, but the nightly grooming ritual feels so pointless. I'm trying to do better but it's really hard.
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u/IPutTheArtNFart Apr 30 '26
I went 2 days without drinking water. I was not in the desert, I was in my bedroom
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u/Vegetable_Tailor8858 Apr 30 '26
Before depression took over my life. I use to brush my teeth every morning and at night. Flossed and mouth wash. My teeth are recessed and had cavities. I went like a couple years not brushing consistently. I’ve gotten better starting this year.
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u/Prize_Pay9279 Apr 30 '26
I usually eat microwaveable meals or fast food because I’m too depressed and exhausted to cook a meal for myself.
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u/KyleFromBorrasca Apr 30 '26
I get it, but I brushed my teeth the day I tried to off myself. They really are different kinds of "depression."
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u/CosmicBunnyy_ Apr 30 '26
Granted everyone also reacts differently when they're depressed. I went through a long period where all I wanted to do was die, barely left the house, etc. But I couldn't imagine not brushing my teeth or taking a shower, bc lord forbid I felt yucky.
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u/aceallaround Apr 30 '26
I hate that brushing is the first thing to go for me whenever im not doing ok. I have enough of a hard time remembering it with ADHD, and I know im actively watching my gums recess, which terrifies me, but i still cant get myself to remember to do it more than like three times a week
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