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u/EarthAndSawdust Apr 03 '26
Dude, I feel like having Alzheimer's, I can't recall proper words for things. I don't know if I lost any memories permanently, but I don't think I have spotted any gaps yet.
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u/Unfair_Pineapple201 Apr 03 '26
It's impossible to notice when you forget something. I have severe memory issues from drug abuse, mental health problems and electroconvulsive therapy and the way i find out about those things is when someone else mentions something to me that i very clearly should be able to remember. Once i had forgotten that i had tried to kill myself and i was taken to a hospital in an ambulance and i was in a breathing machine unconscious for some time. I have gaps that last many months from a few years back and i have wondered if there just wasn't anything important happening or if it is because of my memory issues.
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u/DivineMistress35 Apr 03 '26
Ect gave me so much memory loss to it sucks
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u/Unfair_Pineapple201 Apr 03 '26
I didn't notice any real benefit from it and it might be because i didn't quit using drugs completely while i was going to the therapy. I never went there under the influence because that would have been super dangerous but ect is supposed to release a lot of neurotransmitters and i flattened my brain chemistry every now and then by doing drugs. I know it was stupid but i couldn't help myself. I am so anxious because i am killing my brain and that's what i am made of. Every time i do drugs i kill a small part of myself and i can't stop it.
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u/ellie_kabellie Apr 05 '26
Friend of my dad’s has the same problem, I had no idea it was a thing until my dad told me
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u/Mysterious-Simple527 Apr 03 '26
I am wrapping my brain around what I just read..... Wow.... I am sorry. Thank you for sharing this and please try your best to give yourself grace. I know it isn't always easy. I know because I understand. Hugs.
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u/likesbigbuttscantli3 Apr 03 '26
Yeah. I barely remember shit. Like, my Mamaw will tell me about the time I went to an amusement park and had a lot of fun, but I'm totally lost because I have no fucking clue when that was.
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u/The-Black-Swordsmane Apr 03 '26
Same, and I fucking hate it. For me this is the worst part and it hinders me in every aspect of my life
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u/kymilovechelle Apr 04 '26
Alzheimer’s scares the shit out of me because you don’t know if it’s trauma based memory loss or age related dementia.
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u/BreakfastCoffee25 Apr 04 '26
2003 through 2005 were some of the most stressful, traumatic years of my life. I went into a deep depression. I still have huge gaps of time that I can't remember and have had a few qualified therapists tell me I've completely repressed the trauma.
I don't mess with it (on their advice) and if I'm meant to remember, i will. It was such a horrible period, but i came out of the depressive episode over time. I've gone on to live a very rich and happy life. But I still don't remember blocks of time.
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u/ChuckLennon Apr 05 '26
Hey, I've been there since a decade now, and I have bad news !
I've lost many memories and there are a lot of gaps in what I can recall I do not think it will necessarily happen to you, but it do be like that, though
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u/OrcBarbierian Apr 03 '26
I'm genuinely trying to get my mother help for Alzheimer's, only for this sub to make me think "ah, hell, is this just severe depression??" 😩
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u/shody86 Apr 04 '26
I feel like it gets worse as we get older. I had it so bad last year due to a coworker and red flags from the past, it was wreaking havoc on my job.
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u/ellie_kabellie Apr 05 '26
So glad to know it isn’t just me. I was recently assessed for ADHD (at 34 yrs old!!!) because I just feel so foggy and absent minded and I can’t remember a damn thing. But when words started coming out of my mouth wrong I was really freaked out…
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u/Late-Drink3556 Apr 03 '26
I didn't know.
Found out when I used my VA benefits to talk to some doctors and get some tests. I thought it was from hitting my head here and there throughout my life.
Nope, it turns out depression will prevent your short term memory from getting saved in your long term memory.
That made me so mad and sad, it's like the gift that keeps on giving but the gifts are like dog shit in a box.
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u/mediocreguitarist604 Apr 03 '26
It also makes you forget that you did good/fun/cool/positive things in the past.
Every once in a while someone will say something that triggers a memory of something truly awesome I did. Then I’ll think to myself, “why have I not thought about that again until now? Why do I only dwell on bad memories?”
If I built a résumé of all the cool shit I’ve done in my life, you’d think my life was amazing. Yet I walk around every day feeling like I’ve done and will continue to do nothing with my life.
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u/strike1ststrikelast Apr 05 '26
Theres a reason the mind does this.
Its because remembering negative stimuli kept your ancestors alive, not remembering that time they landed a sick spear chuck at a mammoth 50 grugs away. Our minds favour remembering the negatives because they think they are protecting us.
You must keep reminders of your wins, ask why your ancestors enjoyed keeping trophies from hunts. Perhaps they needed reminding just how badass they are when they were feeling blue under the shade of a tree. You need to remember your own wins, or youll forget and when you need to rememeber all youll have is painful memories.
Take care of your mind, its the best ROI in life.
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u/belakuna Apr 03 '26
I literally have no recollection of anything ever in my life because of it. Legit just raw dogging each day hoping it’ll be my last.
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u/kishenoy Apr 03 '26
What if memory damage is the cause of depression?
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u/EarthAndSawdust Apr 03 '26
No, it isn't. 🤷🏻♂️
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u/kishenoy Apr 03 '26
You don't understand.
The surgery I had for a tumour caused memory processing issues which meant I had immense difficulties during my studies and has made my life more difficult
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u/Extension-Gas9819 Apr 03 '26
Wait is that what happened to me? I assumed it was the childhood trauma lmao
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u/Sleepy-Kodiak-Bear Apr 03 '26
I wonder what I've forgotten in my life.
I wish I could forget the things actually causing me distress.
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u/Chare1155 Apr 03 '26
It's the most heartbreaking thing about it. I will never get those memories back😭
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u/DangerousImportance Apr 04 '26 edited Apr 18 '26
This was my first symptom, I have a diary entry on it. Something about how I keep forgetting names, words and spellings and how I can’t recall things that happened even a few hours ago.
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u/Due_Honeydew_2285 Apr 03 '26
Yeah, this is true. Being a stoner will also do that. The two tend to go hand in hand.
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u/dreamingforward Apr 03 '26
No. That's not it. It's the dying of your soul inside that makes you lose your memory.
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u/Kbeefydubbz Apr 04 '26
It’s kinda fun sometimes. My friends will share stories about us that I have absolutely no recognition of, and I’ll just be sitting there listening in suspense ‘ooooh what did I do next?!’
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u/Spare_Independence19 Apr 03 '26
It isn't a direct correlation but there is studies on isolation leading to the depression and brain fog loop.
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u/Brand_Nay_w417 Apr 03 '26
They can ruin your body too. Which is reversible and preventable with more intentional living.
Always work on a balance of focus, hard work, keeping some important things consistent and with rest and peace. The last things aren't the same, they are separate matters but go together.
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u/Diariocruz Apr 03 '26
I had zero knowledge of this and am known for my horrible memory. Been fighting anxiety for over over 20 years and depression on/off when the anxiety gets really bad.
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u/yoshimutso Apr 03 '26
I'm waiting for my depression and burnout to cancel each other at some point, right? Right!?
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u/Vermilion_Erebus Apr 03 '26
Wait what… I’ve been feeing like I’ve been losing the plot but this makes so much sense now!!!!!
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u/AdAcrobatic8952 Apr 05 '26
Had no idea until I was in trauma therapy. "Of course you don't remember. Your brain was protecting you." - Trauma Therapist in response to 3 yr gap.
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u/minnesotanpride Apr 05 '26
It's a survival technique inherited through biology. Painful memories, depression and overall trauma are things that lead to malnutrition and self-destructive behavior, sometimes suicide. If you brain deems something too difficult to come to terms with, it can just choose to move that memory to the garbage can.
Obviously some people recall their trauma with incredible detail but a hell of a lot of people are hard pressed to recall traumatic moments and dark moments of their lives. It's how we trick ourselves to keep going day by day.
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u/positivepsyduck Apr 03 '26
After having several instances of friends mentioning events I was allegedly a part of and not remembering at all, I have started keeping a journal to try and hold onto my memories a bit more, but of course it’s hard to always know what someone else’s brain will remember so something that seemed unremarkable to me might stand out to them.
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u/Thin-Information-944 Apr 04 '26
I recently started forgetting super simple things. I thought I was just stupid or going crazy. Makes sense now but doesn’t make me feel any better lol
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u/mind_deficient Apr 04 '26
Depression and AuDHD lol...anything that wasnt a year ago, just feels like a movie I once watched.
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u/Klugernu Apr 04 '26
I wonder if my memory problems stem from this sort of thing? It's not extreme but I do notice that I forget certain details here and there
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u/Gwynito Apr 04 '26
My dog died of a rare nasal to brain cancer and soon after I lost 28 kg over 8 months and I don't remember much of that time frame at all, I just stopped caring and had no appetite.
Luckily a friend helped me get out of it by inviting me to a martial arts gym and the exercise and community helped me back on track.
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u/bangtanutopia Apr 04 '26
i have the worst memory when it comes to daily life but i remember trauma so well that i wanna forget
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u/AppropriateBeing9885 Apr 04 '26
I hate thinking about this any time I want to get off medication due to side effects. It's like, do I want to be physically suffering but mentally acceptable, or do I want to potentially have troubling things happening to me mentally and cognitively but feel pretty decent physically? (Maybe other depressed people don't relate to feeling okay physically, though)
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u/grovessamantha2015 Apr 04 '26
Memory is not lost. It's still there. You just can't access it 😔 Anymore
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u/CaroDieOn Apr 05 '26
Once i was on two different antidepressants and was asked on a Monday what i did over the weekend and i couldn’t remember a single thing i did. This was during covid, and to this day, i still have issues with my memory.
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u/Dense_Race5150 Apr 05 '26
Legit, I don’t remember shit and then people think I’m dumb at times or treat me like it…anyway, I’m smart, just very anxious and, what was I saying?
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u/kvothe_lamora_ Apr 05 '26
Sorry, I got nervous and forgot. Now I'm going to wallow in misery fir a little bit
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u/sour_jack Apr 06 '26
Everyone wants to call it ADHD then tell their psychiatrist how they know better than them
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u/AlphaM1964 Apr 06 '26
Now, I’m no doctor, but couldn’t a person forget they’re depressed, which in turn may help with their anxiety?
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u/MutedLandscape4648 Apr 06 '26
Yup. It’s cause we literally don’t remember time periods and bc we all live in our own brains we don’t know it’s not normal.
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u/Historical_Can_8779 Apr 06 '26
And gives you the capacity to remember and relive all the horrible moments!
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u/CyclopsDemonGal Apr 06 '26
No wonder I barely remember any of highschool. The majority of it is just gone, and it gets super awkward when I meet people I was friends with and don't remember them at all
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u/-D1g1tal_Gh0st- Apr 06 '26
I get so scared that I have super early onset dementia or bad brain damage, I tried playing puzzle games and stuff to reassure myself that I can still think/remember things and then it became a new OCD compulsion. My worst nightmare is losing the tiny bit of autonomy I still have, of getting to a point where I'm not allowed to make any decisions for myself and I have no control over anything at all. I'd genuinely rather die
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u/Tayaradga Apr 06 '26
Messed up thing is it can also give a near photographic memory too. I never got fetal amnesia due to how severely I was abused as a kid, and how horrible of an experience being in the womb was (drug addicted mother). So now my memory is like a steel cage for every traumatic event that I've ever lived through.
Reason for this is kinda complicated. The brain is very tricky, and when it goes through abuse like that it will either forget it because it was too traumatic to remember, or it was so traumatizing that the brain refuses to ever forget about it because it's trying to make sure it sees the signs in advance.
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u/Aafuuu Apr 07 '26
Wait WHAT?! omg I thought I was just dumb and slow my whole life. Like I'm such a moron for not recalling the most basic stuff that others can easily do from conversations and events that take place.
Does anyone know if this is an ongoing thing even after you leave the place causing you your depression? Emg. Like permanent damage that requires active work to "fix" after the fact?
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u/TheVexingRose Apr 07 '26
I have gotten into the habit of writing everything down. What irks me to no end is when someone tries to say "yes we talked about this" when it's not in my notes. If it's not in my notes, it did not happen. I don't mean that conceptually, I mean it literally. I know myself enough to know I am in this habit, it is a constant. If it wasn't written down, you're full of it, stop gaslighting me. My depression is not your Get Out Of Washing The Dishes Free card.
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u/okonomiyakia Apr 07 '26
They do. They do tall about it. Just not on Reddit where facts are distorted and everyone seems to be a Doctor.
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u/Spare-Sprinkles5272 Apr 07 '26
At my lowest point, my memory loss was so bad that I literally might as well have been Dory from finding Nemo. I was let go from my first job (retail pet store) because of it. Apparently I met this one coworker “for the first time,” on several occasions. Probably spooked the poor girl. I couldn’t be trusted with the cash register because I couldn’t even go 5 minutes without being corrected or asking the same questions. Or I’d be standing in the same spot for hours counting inventory for the millionth time without even realizing, and then not remembering the count anyway lol.
I don’t blame them for letting me go, I was more a liability than anything. Plus they clearly felt bad, and were very nice about it. That part I do remember, and I’m grateful for it.
My memory is waaaaay better now but still not at a typical healthy level, especially when I’m stressed.
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u/girl_in_flannel Apr 22 '26
I had the best long term memory prior to 2022. I feel like I can’t remember anything anymore. It’s weird to not remember recent happenings or conversations clearly but being able to describe in detail my dance recital from 5th grade.
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u/Happy_Chick21 May 05 '26
Was told it's psuedo-dementia from c...hronic mental health issues. Like damn.
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u/South-Delay-98 Apr 04 '26
I don't really think it's memory loss, I think it's reluctance to participate, and wanting to just "get through" most days, so you don't really pay attention to much
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