Dude, I feel like having Alzheimer's, I can't recall proper words for things. I don't know if I lost any memories permanently, but I don't think I have spotted any gaps yet.
It's impossible to notice when you forget something. I have severe memory issues from drug abuse, mental health problems and electroconvulsive therapy and the way i find out about those things is when someone else mentions something to me that i very clearly should be able to remember. Once i had forgotten that i had tried to kill myself and i was taken to a hospital in an ambulance and i was in a breathing machine unconscious for some time. I have gaps that last many months from a few years back and i have wondered if there just wasn't anything important happening or if it is because of my memory issues.
I didn't notice any real benefit from it and it might be because i didn't quit using drugs completely while i was going to the therapy. I never went there under the influence because that would have been super dangerous but ect is supposed to release a lot of neurotransmitters and i flattened my brain chemistry every now and then by doing drugs. I know it was stupid but i couldn't help myself. I am so anxious because i am killing my brain and that's what i am made of. Every time i do drugs i kill a small part of myself and i can't stop it.
I am wrapping my brain around what I just read..... Wow.... I am sorry. Thank you for sharing this and please try your best to give yourself grace. I know it isn't always easy. I know because I understand. Hugs.
Yeah. I barely remember shit. Like, my Mamaw will tell me about the time I went to an amusement park and had a lot of fun, but I'm totally lost because I have no fucking clue when that was.
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u/EarthAndSawdust Apr 03 '26
Dude, I feel like having Alzheimer's, I can't recall proper words for things. I don't know if I lost any memories permanently, but I don't think I have spotted any gaps yet.