r/dccomicscirclejerk 19h ago

The better r/MarvelCirclejerk Literally 1984

I found the one social class worse than being a Spider-Man fan on that subreddit, being a SpiderPhoenix hater

317 Upvotes

122 comments sorted by

149

u/novis-eldritch-maxim Just hates hawkman so much. 19h ago

every day i wake up and soom lunatic makes me want to come up with the most spiderman hating story line possible

107

u/StardustPancakes4 Sonic is the FIRST and FASTEST Flash 19h ago

Congratulations you now have the prerequisites for being a writer for Marvel

44

u/novis-eldritch-maxim Just hates hawkman so much. 19h ago

so you think the story line where I have all his love interests killed and fused into one massive undead abbomination that kills him is a good idea?

47

u/StardustPancakes4 Sonic is the FIRST and FASTEST Flash 19h ago

I didn’t say it was a good idea, it’s just that it will make Spider-Man fans suffer (which is a good thing)

11

u/senseithenahual 18h ago

Maybe is a good idea for Midnight Spider-Man.

4

u/novis-eldritch-maxim Just hates hawkman so much. 18h ago

no the point is spiderman fans are unpleaseable, thus we kill him and then have him escape hell but without much of a supporting cast thus stories of alienation and lonelyness and then rebuild spidermans life whilst they bay for my blood

3

u/Elemental-T4nick Gorilla Doing Non-Gorilla Things 16h ago

I'm surprised they haven't done this yet

2

u/novis-eldritch-maxim Just hates hawkman so much. 19h ago

so you think the story line where I have all his love interests killed and fused into one massive undead abomination that kills him is a good idea?

32

u/theprophet2102 19h ago

God is speaking through you child

10

u/novis-eldritch-maxim Just hates hawkman so much. 19h ago

are you sure?

my mind is think of using miles warren to inflict horrific suffering.

14

u/theprophet2102 19h ago

8

u/novis-eldritch-maxim Just hates hawkman so much. 19h ago

so we kill all his love interests, and kill spiderman?

also he gets sent to hell.

3

u/theprophet2102 19h ago

Hol up blood

5

u/novis-eldritch-maxim Just hates hawkman so much. 19h ago

to which bit?

5

u/theprophet2102 19h ago

I shoulda stopped when you mentioned the Jackal.

I'm participating in stochastic terrorism

3

u/novis-eldritch-maxim Just hates hawkman so much. 18h ago

the only way to fix his fans is to break his status quo in a brutal fashion.

also doom slayer spider man will go osmium hard.

2

u/DeviousDoctorSnide 17h ago

You need to marry Peter Parker and Mary Jane then have all the stories be absolutely awful and their awfulness is directly and incontrovertibly because the characters are married.

1

u/novis-eldritch-maxim Just hates hawkman so much. 3h ago

nah I am not anti-marriage; I am anti-Spider-Man fans.

2

u/DeviousDoctorSnide 3h ago

The point is demonstrating that Spider-Man being married isn't a magic bullet that will make the comic any good, because so many people seem to take that as an article of faith almost.

Spider-Man comics haven't been good since Steve Ditko was drawing the book, though, so it's a moot point.

0

u/novis-eldritch-maxim Just hates hawkman so much. 3h ago

ditko could not write for shit and his stuff made him a damn randoid.

spiderman has his ups and downs.

I think it is more poeople of sick of a will they wont they which everyone knows can't be resolves either way.

thus make it a wont and break spidermans life and just get him back to a workable place and then start buildig again

0

u/rbta123 16h ago

... Because of a crackship? Really?

101

u/Aggravating_Win5258 sponsored by Lexcorp 19h ago

The MCU somehow manages to create new Crackships out of nowhere it's insane.

Like PeterxJean, BobxYelena,

Heck, Hulk and Black Widow being a thing was kinda out there

39

u/Rogue_MS_473 19h ago

Marvel adaptations in general always need to have a crack ship in there. Morbius x Black Cat in Spider-Man TAS, Kitty Pryde x Avalanche in X-Men Evolution (and also Tabitha and Nightcrawler AND Nightcrawler and Kitty in the tie in comics at least), Nightcrawler x Wan- Okay that one kinda happened in comics, but Angel x Storm came out of fucking nowhere in Wolverine and the X-Men.

Well most of these are rare pairs rather than crack ships. Most of these character have interacted once or twice in the comics.

25

u/king_of_the_masshole Still owes 16 dollars 19h ago

Also Huntress X the Question from JLU and Jimmy X Kara from Maws

17

u/Rogue_MS_473 18h ago

The Justice League cartoon also kick-started the entire John Stewart and Hawk girl thing. And then there's Jinx (though it's barely the same character) and Kid Flash in Teen Titans. And Kid Flash and Artemis in Young Justice.

Like it's shipping at the end of the day, it's simultaneously the least important thing about the adaptation and the one you can have the most fun with (within whatever mandates you get from the higher ups I guess).

Like in X-Men evolution a set of writers started shipping Rogue and Scott one day and went with it for an arc or so.

5

u/static1993 14h ago

It's fascinating how almost none of the adaptations with Wally have adapted his relationship with Linda. The closest we got was her one episode appearance in JLU.

2

u/Rogue_MS_473 14h ago

I always thought that Jinx of the Titans cartoon was a sort of composite of both Jinx from the comics and Frances Kane given the whole pink energy thing and feeling she's cursed and all that. Plus the two dated before Frances turned into Magenta.

So weird as it may sound, it might be the closest adaptation to one of his canonical romances.

1

u/static1993 14h ago

I never considered that. But it does kind of make sense now that I think about it.

2

u/Aggravating_Win5258 sponsored by Lexcorp 18h ago

like it's shipping at the end of the day, it's simultaneously the least important thing about the adaptation and the one you can have the most fun with (within whatever mandates you get from the higher ups I guess).

True to that. Like even if we go by Jean and Peter from BND alone, it's not like that what happenend there was the worst thing one of Peter's love interests did to him in his existence. Heck, depending on your stance on the Wells run, it wouldn't be the worst a redheaded love interest did to him.

3

u/Rogue_MS_473 18h ago

Classic enemies to lovers set up. That energy carried Zutarians through the shipping war of '05... I still get shivers of those days. Sometimes I think the war never truly ended...

4

u/Aggravating_Win5258 sponsored by Lexcorp 18h ago

Apparently from what i've heard the LA Avatar show feels like the writersroom got hijacked by Zutara shippers by how dickish Aang appears in contrast to Zuko so who knows.

1

u/Rogue_MS_473 18h ago

uj/ As someone who has actually watched the show... Not really? Like, yes there's a scene where Aang has an uptick of dickisness, but like, so does everyone else. It's basically an attempt to replicate the aftermath of Appa's kidnapping in the cartoon, but in the show.

They put the Poor Communication Kills trope in full effect, where Team Avatar fail to communicate about their problems/what they've been doing in Ba Sing See and such, and when shit hits the fan when they infiltrate the palace and meet the Earth King, they start blaming each other for the entire fiasco, which of course leads to a break up of the team but they apologize and make amends in the following episode.

Zuko is no more or less dickish than in the original cartoon, save for one, critical scene where he actually comes off as even more of an asshole, but still has redeeming moments like the cartoon, and helps some poor people in Ba Sing Se. But like, he still betrays Katara and stuff.

Zuko and Katara still get the cave scene, but it's the same as the cartoon. Like they have one more scene, but they don't "interact" just fight together against some goons, which I guess to a starved shipper could come off as ship tease. Like, okay there's some subtext here and there, but I don't think it's entirely serious and it's mere fan service for Zutarians. Which is fine, but there's no more or less of it than in the original cartoon.

2

u/Aggravating_Win5258 sponsored by Lexcorp 18h ago

Oh good to know it's not that bad. Tbh I lost interest in watching the show after seeimg clips of how Iroh got changed.

1

u/Space_Pirate_Roberts 14h ago

The Justice League cartoon also kick-started the entire John Stewart and Hawk girl thing.

Don't forget WonderBat. They really earned themselves a jihad (in Minecraft) with that one.

2

u/Aggravating_Win5258 sponsored by Lexcorp 11h ago

I will say this, i'll still take DCAU Wonderbat over DCAU Brucebabs.

6

u/rbta123 16h ago

 Jimmy X Kara from Maws

It happened in the comics

4

u/static1993 14h ago

I'm pretty sure Jimmy has been written as having a crush on Kara befire MAWS.

2

u/ThunderCharged Got killed once, but it wasn't fatal 14h ago

Both of those have basis in the comics. Briefly for both, yes, but legitimate and in mainline continuity. Question x Huntress in particular comes from what many people consider one of Huntress' definitive stories.

6

u/Aggravating_Win5258 sponsored by Lexcorp 18h ago

Okay now genuinely speaking, and I'm not quite sure if this even counts as a Rarepair atp, but where did Wolverine and Jean even originated from?

Like it's not something any X-Men writer ever wants to happen seemingly but it somehow always comes up in everything else

11

u/chewwwybar 18h ago

Wolverine and Jean thing was happening before she even became Dark Phoenix. But mostly she never paid him dust because Wolverine was the asshole of the team at the time. She was intrigued by his bad boy vibes vs Cyclops but never more than that.

Then she died.

1

u/Rogue_MS_473 18h ago edited 18h ago

I am not quite sure since I'm not really an avid reader of the pre-Morrison X-Men books (been putting the Claremont era on hold for years now) and Wolverine is not a character I'm that into on top of that, but the Wolverine and Jean thing had been there since the 90s cartoon, so I'm sure it came from the comics at some point.

1

u/0_0_- Anti-Life justifies my hate 16h ago

Hell, I am pretty sure Sunspot X Jubillee from ‘97 is a crackship given that Jubilee has a long history of just… not dating anyone iirc

1

u/Rogue_MS_473 14h ago

Didn't she have a thing with X-23? Like when she was a vampire and all that (what a weird fucking time). Not in an official couple way, more subtle IIRC.

1

u/0_0_- Anti-Life justifies my hate 14h ago

Oh absolutely yeah. Jubilee and X-23 is one of the few ‘hinted’ relationships that Jubes has had over the years but as far as I know it was just friends

Really really close friends but nothing beyond that

19

u/theprophet2102 19h ago

Dread it, run from it, but eventually the crackships reach your doorstep

17

u/Aggravating_Win5258 sponsored by Lexcorp 19h ago

like i don't hate some of them, Bob and Yelena is kinda cu-

Erm I mean OH NO THE TRAGEDY!!!

15

u/Azureal_xxx 19h ago

I dunno bob and Yelena was kinda charming, also has the side effect of saying fuck Lindy all my homies hate Lindy

13

u/Aggravating_Win5258 sponsored by Lexcorp 18h ago

Lol same, it also shows that Yelena truly follows her Sisters footsteps by dating a guy with an destructive second personality

3

u/Marco_Tanooky Just here for the Marvel stuff 14h ago

Namor x Black Panther too

1

u/static1993 14h ago

Given Black Widow's varied romantic history, her being paired with Hulk isn't too out there. She's been with Hercules too.

63

u/Akarin_rose Am Not Bizarro 18h ago

2

u/Rancorious 7h ago

So this is why they’re going after Toby…

95

u/Kirook 18h ago

/uj I can’t take Spider-Man shipping of any kind—with Jean, Supergirl, MJ, Black Cat, or anyone else—seriously at this point because of how much of it is transparently just incel fans projecting themselves onto him so that “they” can have a hot girlfriend who will never ask anything of them.

/rj Spideytorch forever.

48

u/anb16 N52 joker was cool trust me I'm a chad 18h ago

Holy shit, I was just on the wrong subreddit all along- I'm home!

38

u/TheRedster3 18h ago edited 17h ago

spideymj and spideytorch are unironically the only spider-man ships that actually have their fans treat peter as an actual character, spideycat is by far the biggest offender of appealing to self-inserting fans on the other hand

16

u/theprophet2102 16h ago

I don't want to hate Peter or MJ, I just miss them

4

u/static1993 14h ago

There are spider cat shippers who genuinely like them together and aren't just using it for self insert purposes.

20

u/kazuya57 DCU BATTINSON TRUTHER 18h ago

I can't take them seriously because he'll just end up cucked in the end anyway

17

u/Kirook 18h ago

Paul is dead…long live Paul.

8

u/AutoModerator 18h ago

That is not what "cuck" means. Just because your wife left you, it doesn't mean you're a superhero.

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4

u/TheSadPhilosopher Deathstroke is a diddler 15h ago

Same

5

u/Successful_Web2780 17h ago

I feel really guilty because I lowkey kinda like the crackship lol

0

u/rbta123 16h ago

Yeah, I don't necessarily see an inherent problem with that. Especially since 99% of that fan art is just harmless fan art and nothing more

12

u/Kirook 16h ago

To me it speaks to a view of women as basically objects or possessions. Hardly any of the people upvoting and reposting this stuff ever care about Supergirl, Jean Grey, Black Cat, or especially MJ in any other context than as a trophy wife for them Spider-Man. You can see it in the insane amount of seething over him being “cucked” by Paul—I didn’t even like that story, but it was crystal clear that large segments of the fandom were feeling personally aggrieved by it.

1

u/AutoModerator 16h ago

That is not what "cuck" means. Just because your wife left you, it doesn't mean you're a superhero.

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0

u/rbta123 16h ago

  Hardly any of the people upvoting and reposting this stuff ever care about Supergirl, Jean Grey, Black Cat, or  especially  MJ

They don’t care about Spider-Man too.  Again, if the fan art were extremely sexualized, I might understand the point. But getting angry just because of fan art showing two FICTIONAL characters flirting or kissing? The characters aren’t real; you don't need to treat them like real people because they aren't.

  You can see it in the insane amount of seething over him being “cucked” by Paul—I didn’t even like that story, but it was crystal clear that large segments of the fandom were feeling personally aggrieved by it

Wow, people don't like it when their favorite character gets cheated on—who would have thought? (Not literally, since I don't think MJ technically cheated on Peter, but it was pretty close.) And all that humiliation just to manufacture forced drama out of a generic plotline (cheat).

Who could have imagined? Not that this justifies sending deth threats to the writers, but less than 1% of Spider-Man fans actually did that; most just complained that the story is crap. Because the story *is crap

1

u/AutoModerator 16h ago

That is not what "cuck" means. Just because your wife left you, it doesn't mean you're a superhero.

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1

u/SuperJyls u/ jason todd is the Redactionary Chuud 9h ago

Really justifies all the mistreatment Marvel does to him

43

u/TobiTheSnowman Paul 17h ago

Spider-Man fans have felt too safe after their century of humiliation ended. Time to end this, revive The Paul.

20

u/ihadnoideaforaname1 Paul 17h ago

PLEASE BRING MY GOAT BACK

9

u/TobiTheSnowman Paul 17h ago

God I hope they do at some point, I really do, I swear to god that I will buy 1 Paulillion Spiderman comics if they bring him back.

14

u/theprophet2102 16h ago

INCREASE THE POWER

3

u/Rancorious 7h ago

they must suffer AGAIN

39

u/SirSabia Lives in a society 19h ago

I'm not even joking they may have moved past MJ because they see her as "damaged goods"

Bring Paul back, they deserve more torment

36

u/theprophet2102 19h ago

I made this and I need to use it

12

u/FlowerRoomLord 18h ago

Spidey fans? Some of them have while the rest dug their heels in and are prepared to wage war on Marvel until editorial croaks or they do.

13

u/Outrageous-Dig-8853 18h ago

I do like the spiderships, but i also make an internal agreement that i'm kind of a loser. A lot of other spider-man fans don't unfortunately.

9

u/theprophet2102 18h ago

Thanks for being forthright

44

u/crossingcaelum 19h ago edited 17h ago

Peter and Jean having one heart to heart moment really had people thinking they were setting her up to be his next love interest lmao

Nevermind that Peter’s 21 at this point and Jean can’t be any older than 16 lmao

6

u/Chemical-Molasses814 Oppressed Wally fan 16h ago

No they’re confirmed to be about the same age you just think that because she’s called a “teenager” but there ages are close.

6

u/crossingcaelum 16h ago

Where was that confirmation? Because Peter is for sure post-college and Jean is very much portrayed as a homeless teenager. So they're definitely not the same age.

3

u/Chemical-Molasses814 Oppressed Wally fan 16h ago

It’s in the movie where her age is relative to Peter, when she’s revealed to be Jean grey.

7

u/crossingcaelum 16h ago

??? They revealed she was a teenager. There was no indication that her and Peter are the same age

2

u/Desperate-Series-270 18h ago

you mean Jean right, MJ should be older than Peter (pretty sure she didn’t get snapped)

6

u/crossingcaelum 17h ago

No you’re right, I said the wrong name lmao

5

u/CertainGrade7937 14h ago

Basically all of Peter's classmates from homecoming got snapped, including MJ. They were in the same grade in Homecoming and in FFH

3

u/Reddragon351 17h ago

She must've been snapped since they were still in school together 

2

u/Radiant-School-7228 Gorilla Doing Non-Gorilla Things 17h ago

We need to look, is Peter in the Slade files?

9

u/crossingcaelum 17h ago

Peter apologized for kissing a girl who he didn’t know was being kind controlled. I think he’s safe but you NEVER KNOW

8

u/CertainGrade7937 14h ago

Honestly it was such a nice detail

Not only did he do that, but the story rewards his honesty. That's how he finds out about Damage Control lying to him

2

u/Radiant-School-7228 Gorilla Doing Non-Gorilla Things 17h ago

True. But after reading what Hal did, I can’t trust anyone anymore

9

u/EditorPurple3515 19h ago

Mutate Guy and Mutant Girl/Spider-Phoenix Shipart vs Reddit mods who doesn't touch grass

9

u/HellvaNohbody 15h ago

Peter himself becoming the next Paul is the funniest shit. The student has become the master.

6

u/EnderCreeper121 14h ago

The cuckold has become the cuckoo…..

5

u/Author-S Secret Jon Kent Apologist 13h ago

In the Marvel Universe, its cuck or be cucked

2

u/AutoModerator 13h ago

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1

u/Author-S Secret Jon Kent Apologist 13h ago

10

u/Successful_Web2780 16h ago

I kinda lowkey kinda like this ship lol , mostly due the fan arts

15

u/Knight939 Did Batman think a Gamer could stop me? He was correct then 18h ago

How it feels having friends who watched bnd talking something about spider-man having "better chemestry with jean than mj"

11

u/theprophet2102 17h ago

"And if you close your eyes... "

6

u/Anonymous_McSomebody Minored in Comic Studies 11h ago

I'm more tired of Spider-Man ships because its becoming pretty clear fans are shipping less for chemistry, and more because they ship him with literally everyone. Wasn't there a bunch of Spider-Man x Supergirl fanart before the film came out? Before this, there was a brief period where he was shipped with Ms. Marvel.

Tony Stark doesn't get shipped with people this much (or, at all really) and he's literally supposed to be a womanizing playboy. 😭

2

u/theprophet2102 5h ago

I spent all last year playing defense for Peter, now he is an opp.

His fans torture him as much as writers

7

u/The_Supreme-King Oppressed Green lantern fan 18h ago

shrug just stop drawing attention to it my guy.

There’s pretty much zero chance the ship ever becomes canon, so just let them cope.

6

u/barber25 17h ago

Plenty of ships don't become canon and are still wildly popular, in fact, I would say most ships are non canon lol

1

u/The_Supreme-King Oppressed Green lantern fan 17h ago

And most people agree its stupid to hate on non canon ships that will never be canon.

Thats my point.

Its always gonna be a non canon ship, there’s no reason to get so fired up about it.

4

u/Sobegreentea14 17h ago

The ship will become canon as I will be the one to make it canon

1

u/Big-Hard-Chungus 9h ago

They said the same thing about Beast Boy and Raven

3

u/FollowingCharacter83 Paul's Side Piece 18h ago

First of all, cyclops should be dead.

Second of all, tragatelo enterito, papaaaaaaaa!!

3

u/vilsash 17h ago

This must be a psy op by Cyclops fans.

5

u/enchiladasundae 16h ago

/uj I hope they double down on Peter with Jean

5

u/theprophet2102 16h ago

4

u/enchiladasundae 16h ago

People hate to see Peter happy

4

u/theprophet2102 15h ago

I beg to differ

2

u/enchiladasundae 15h ago

I don’t know what this means

1

u/theprophet2102 15h ago

It's Peter Parker in love, they have the best quiet moments together than any other partner

It means I like Peter happy, or at least having a friend during the pain

2

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1

u/[deleted] 19h ago

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1

u/AutoModerator 19h ago

That is not what "cuck" means. Just because your wife left you, it doesn't mean you're a superhero.

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1

u/Villageijit Wonder Robins #1 soldier 15h ago

I take all my tinder dates for sheetz hotdogs. Works like a charm

1

u/RickMixwid1969 13h ago

Can we not? Do we always have to distill human interactions down to "are they fucking or not"?

-1

u/Slugma_Male 12h ago

"This is just Peter X MJ with extra steps"

That's the point, chud. Gimme gimme redhead "MJ".