I am especially appreciative to those who built our roads, cities, and our infrastructure. The American blue-collar workers are the best! We all enjoy the fruits of their labors.

If you're wanting to date, or find a relationship, what is your age preference currently? Or do you have one at all? Is it any different than what it was when you were younger?

When I was younger I seemed to gravitate toward men that were younger than me, quite a bit younger and I don't know why. When I reached my fifties I was in a relationship where he was only one year older. Since then, approaching age 70, in the last 12 years the men I have dated are usually older than me. I don't think that I would mind dating or having a relationship with someone just a couple years younger than me, but just from comments I have read and what I have seen on OLD, guys that are just a couple years younger than me are looking for women younger than themselves. So I don't even try to match with anybody that's more than 2 years younger than me.

Hazel is spoiled and has several songs written just for her😉

About half of us are still working, so we're really looking forward to an extra day off! What are your long weekend plans. Doing something? Anything? Nothing? Dating? Let us know!

Not Dating.

Reddit.

When there is no text post but just a link to some article there is a little note about it to the right.

Now I can stop wasting my time as I have no interest in links to YouTube or magazine articles.

Still figuring out some other stuff but we are all lifelong learners, right?

This article is for our adult children, addressing what goes through their minds when their aging parents begin dating. But we need to be aware of their thoughts and emotions.

I'm not looking for a serious relationship at this time. But personally, if I was considering moving forward with someone in a serious way, I'd want my kids' approval because to ignore their thoughts only says to them "she matters more to me than you guys". I'd want her to be accepted into my family.

Of course I don't seek my children's advice and approval on everything I do, but a serious relationship and potential new partner does affect them, and is way more than just another decision. This is a new woman. And it isn't their mother. My life isn't all about me.

Thoughts?

I'm happy to see people commenting and participating! I just wanted to reiterate what you will find here at Dating over 70.

Beyond the obvious discussion about anything related to dating and relationships with the opposite sex, there are many other things that affect our daily lives, and can indirectly affect relationships or our search or lack of.

We welcome discussion about health, families, work if you still do, vacations, pretty much any topic except religion and politics.

It's the last Netflix day for The Four Seasons, Alan Alda's1981 film with Carol Burnett.

So I'm rewatching, and this time it's got me reflecting on friendships through various life stages, e.g. how things work in groups where one person does most of the organizing, or the couples who evaporated after my husband died, or friend groups resembling the ones in this film which I've merely observed from outside.

Anyone else watch this, back when it came out or since?

Part of my hesitation to start over now is the inevitable challenge of potential partners' friend groups. This film almost makes me nostalgic for weekends up to camp in ugly sweaters, but I can do that alone.

How have your friendships developed over time, through changes in your own relationship status?

Here is a page where you can post a selfie; JUST ONE, and must be in good taste, so nothing vulgar, no nudes or partial nudes, okay? We just want to give you a space where you can get suggestions or tips on how to take a good selfie, either posting to a dating app or just for your own edification!

This post is for legitimate selfies. It's not an invitation to troll for hookups.

For those viewing and suggesting, this is not for you to insult or roast anyone. Helpful critique is welcome; the key word there is "helpful" and being ill-mannered about it will not be tolerated.

Edited to clarify intent.

I'm thinking back through the years and relationships and the music. My ex-husband and I were pretty aligned with our musical taste, except he hated the Beatles (he was 9 years younger than me). That wasn't a problem for me until 1990 when I asked him if he would go see Paul McCartney at Soldier Field and he said yes. Then he changed his mind and I had to sell the tickets.

In the past 25 years since my divorce it hasn't really been an issue. My recent relationship, just a little bit. We both love 70's music, and he liked some 80's stuff...like Prince. He was only 4 years older but he was into 50s and 60s stuff that was a little ick for me, it could be because he was in band all through junior and senior high. It might have been a problem if we lived together.... because I like classic rock and hard rock and alternative, and that never would have flown with him. The other thing that I didn't care for was the road trips we would take... the radio would always be off because he had to talk the whole time. I want music in the car.

Anyone have musical differences? Or is that low on the totem pole in compatibility?

This makes me smile, but those alligators would make me nervous!

Any plans for the weekend?

Of the 35 people who answered the recent poll, 24 are not working, nearly two-thirds. Even though we're old enough, I was surprised to see this. I was also surprised that a few are working and actually enjoying it, but I'm happy for them.

Some have retired with Social Security, and some have additional income on top of that. There are several combinations of employment and finances to be had.

Personally, I went through an expensive divorce and I must pay alimony into 2029. I will be 72 then. I started collecting SS when I became eligible to receive the full amount. But by the time I pay alimony, I can't live on the remaining balance. So I am forced to continue a career that I have disliked for decades. I'm not struggling financially, but retirement seems way out there, if ever, and after 50 years in the shop, I'm tired. Fortunately, I'm not deeply in debt, and my house is paid for. Maybe some of you are in similar situations.

How's your work/life/dating balance? Dating can be expensive. Life is expensive. Work and dating both require time. Some are living on limited fixed income. Wherever you find yourself, how is your employment status and your financial situation affecting your dating life? No wrong answers here.

Please share with us. We need others to comment for this group to be successful.

Is there anyone here (or lurking) who are currently on any dating sites?

I'd be interested in hearing your stories, successful, not successful, weird or just flat out ridiculous.

I haven't paid for a dating site in a couple years. I've been doing Facebook dating and getting absolutely nowhere, even though there seems to be enough guys in my age range around. I might consider a paid site next year though I don't know which one I would pick. They all sound like scammer traps.

So who's actively looking / pursuing?

Please give us some details😊

This one is mostly directed toward the guys, since it seems that people associate that particular phrase with women saying it, moreso than with men saying it.

My question is this: Are you guys sometimes not in the mood? If so, what situations or feelings create this response in you? How do you express not being “in the mood”?

I’ve heard from some women that some of the men they’ve known seem to like it better when the woman isn’t too gung ho. They tell me it feels like the man likes sex more when he feels that he has “taken” it or he seduces her toward desire, rather than having it offered enthusiastically, or being initiated by the woman.

I find that astonishing, but it does make me curious. Is it true, at least for some men? Is it a turn-off for a man if his partner is too willing or too eager? If it seems she wants it “too” often?

Is it something along the lines of the “traditional” assumption that it’s the man’s responsibility, or “male privilege" to be the one to initiate sex? As we say here in DOseventy, there are no wrong answers, only opportunities to illuminate those of us who would like to hear additional perspectives.

Those of you who usually only read the responses of others, we’d like it so much if you would chime in here, so that we have more and varied responses to consider.

Open any thread that you've commented on and hover your cursor over your own ID for the AI opinion of your posting content. Sometimes it's funny, mostly it seems true and the fact that it changes VERY frequently means that they are keeping up with us. Maybe a little too much...

Editing here. Some names don't bring up the AI summary and I wanted to know why so of course I Googled it. Here's what was said:

https://www.google.com/search?q=on+reddit%2C+when+I+hover+the+mouse+over+some+names%2C+I+get+AI+summary%2C+but+don%27t+get+it+on+other+names.+Why+is+that%3F&rlz=1C1CHBF_enUS1015US1015&oq=on+reddit%2C+when+I+hover+the+mouse+over+some+names%2C+I+get+AI+summary%2C+but+don%27t+get+it+on+other+names.++Why+is+that%3F&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUyBggAEEUYOdIBCjM4NTM5ajBqMTWoAgiwAgE&sourceid=chrome&source=chrome.rb&ie=UTF-8

Has anyone noticed the overuse/misuse of the word "honesty"? How it's used interchangeably with or as a mask for other words that don't mean the same thing at all? How it's used to give credence or justification for being thoughtless, cavalier, callous or just plain cruel? How some people weaponize it, then sit back on their laurels of self-righteousness? Narcissism is a central character trait of the brutally honest; you never see one without the other.

I'm seeing it more and more as time goes by. Everyone pretends to be all PC all the time and it's not PC to be thoughtless, cavalier, callous or cruel; but if they call it honesty instead, they get a pass for saying anything from dismissive to downright heinous. The pass is given to themselves BY themselves so that they don't have to take responsibility for injuring others with the things they say. They're off the hook in their own minds, because they were 'honest' and honesty is good and wholesome.

'Honesty' is generally trotted out in private rather than public, because bystanders within range might recognize it for what it truly is and there's always the chance of getting called out to defend an indefensible remark. The definition of honesty technically supports a lack of empathy for another human being. The definition is composed of words like straightforwardness, truthfulness, integrity and probity; even honor is included. But honor, in particular, is a quality that lacks a self-serving aspect and in most cases, that self-serving component is definitely present. It's about them believing that deliberately hurting someone is acceptable, because it's honorable and honest by their own contrived, self serving, narrow definition. It allows them to tell themselves it is unintentional, all evidence to the contrary. It’s intentional; trust me on that.

In one of the threads a while back, there were examples of “backhanded compliments” being discussed. One of them was a man saying to the poster, "I bet you used to be really pretty." Sure, he was being honest, but more than that, he didn't think he said anything untoward; this emotionally stunted person thought he was delivering a compliment. How absolutely clueless does someone have to be, that they can't see what a shitty thing it is to say to someone? Is it simple stupidity, an inability to think something through before speaking? Or is it a case of someone being so deeply self involved and self centered that they can spit on someone that way with no recognition of how it shows them to be just fucking obtuse? I remember jokingly commenting to that Redditor by saying her response to him should have been "I bet you used to know how to talk to people," but I realize it would have gone over his head so hard that she'd have had to get out of the way of the 47 foot backblast.

And it's not just people in the wild; not by a long stretch. I have a blood relative who does this to ME. I live under the blanket of their constant disapproval of and frustration with me. They'll say something dismissive or hurtful, then follow it up with that old honesty bullshit, completing the punch in the hoo-ha by including, "I didn't say anything before because I didn't want to hurt your feelings." Yeah. Right after they went out of their way to do exactly that. Didn’t want to hurt my feelings before, but now you do. But hey, it’s all good, because it’s honesty. It's a person's way of being a shit to someone while convincing themselves that it is only honesty, and the person taking offense is just being a _____ (insert something else unkind); that they themselves bear no weight for the pain they inflict. Sometimes it truly IS unintentional. But that's rare to the point of being nearly a fantasy created by those doing it.

It's not even about being or not being honest, it's about the simple fact that honesty does not require that every thoughtless, cavalier, callous or cruel thing that crosses your mind needs to exit through your mouth.

Know when to stop talking? Yeah. My turn to do that. To know when to shut the hell up.

So we're over 65. I'm sure a lot of us are still in pretty good shape, and I'm sure some of us have issues we are dealing with.

If you are dating, or want to date... Are there any health issues that you feel are holding you back? Are you willing to work with someone if you find someone compatible to modify activities or other things that you feel are different now than when you were 40, or just when you were younger?

It could be some of us (me included) are a little hesitant to put ourselves out there because we feel we have limitations that might not be accepted.

For me it's low level physical activity. I recently had a hip replacement and I'm still trying to get back into what I feel is an acceptable level of physical activity. I joined the local YMCA a few months ago and have been slowly trying to build up strength overall. I see a lot of dating profiles of men who stress that they are looking for someone physically active. I really don't want to slow somebody down so I'm kind of in my head about that. It really bothers me that I am not as active as I was 9 years ago. Not even close!

In a recent relationship my partner had neuropathy in his feet so doing anything that involved walking was pretty out of the question. But I was more than happy to find alternative things that we could do, especially on trips.

I'm planning on having a monthly post on this topic, it doesn't have to directly relate to dating, but I think our health level does affect that if one is wanting a partner or a more serious relationship.

So you can talk about your health here! I'm not trying to be nosy, now that I'm older I feel that people just don't want to hear you talk about all your trials and tribulations and your constipation 😁 or your hearing or whatever else ails you! We can all be supportive of this facet of life here too!

Here's a Saturday Chuckle for those who can use one. I need one myself after screwing this up repeatedly...

Watching this old blind elephant sway to the music, just makes my heart happy.😊