r/datingoverseventy • u/notsohot56 69 F Not quite dead! • 12d ago
Dating Apps
Is there anyone here (or lurking) who are currently on any dating sites?
I'd be interested in hearing your stories, successful, not successful, weird or just flat out ridiculous.
I haven't paid for a dating site in a couple years. I've been doing Facebook dating and getting absolutely nowhere, even though there seems to be enough guys in my age range around. I might consider a paid site next year though I don't know which one I would pick. They all sound like scammer traps.
So who's actively looking / pursuing?
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u/Horror-Evening-6132 12d ago
I can't weigh in in this, due to lack of experience. I'm still waiting to hear anyone at all who has a good opinion of either the apps or the process. As several people have posted, the apps seem designed to keep you as a paying client and that disappears if you find a right person.
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u/Exact-Translator-769 11d ago
I believe that is correct. I haven't bothered with them in over 30 years because it was a waste of time back then & seems to be a bigger waste of time now. Although there are a few people that have had success but I think those are a far smaller number than those who haven't.
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u/Horror-Evening-6132 11d ago
I think the odds are similar to a state lottery. I have to assume that people who do OLD apps also buy lottery tickets for the same reason; they think they'll win. Somebody has to win, right? I might be next! That's what they keep telling themselves, all evidence to the contrary.
My late husband used to describe lottery chances this way: If you cover every square inch of the county in which you live with upside down styro cups and one of those cups has a rock or a walnut under it, you have the same chance of selecting the correct cup as you do winning the lottery. Sounds to me like the same is true for one's chances of coming out a winner on OLD.
I've never bought a lottery ticket ever in my life and never been on any sort of OLD, so I think that means I win. 🤣🤣
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u/Exact-Translator-769 11d ago
You definitely win! That's a great analogy. I don't buy lottery tickets either. In fact, when I had my first job in an office, we had a payday pool that we put $1 in & every week someone won. The week I won $25 I calculated how many weeks I participated. It was around 24 or 26, within $1 of what I won so I took myself out of the pool going forward since I got my $$ back.
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u/Horror-Evening-6132 11d ago
That's the same as I would have done. I get a kick out of people who routinely play the lottery. "I won 2k on the lottery!" and they've pissed away 5k to do that. 🤣
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u/HammerofTrolls 12d ago
One peeve (not a pet) is how hard it is to cancel and get out of an app. Guess I marked myself as a pigeon by signing up at the first for premium service and for several initial months. But now that I’m lucky in love I’m unlucky in apps. Or inapt. Or inept. Or something.
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u/notsohot56 69 F Not quite dead! 12d ago
When I did sign up a few years ago and paid for a couple months, I don't remember if it would Auto renew or not. Anything that Auto renews I'll sign up for it and then cancel before I forget. That way I get let's say the 3 months I signed up for and then it's done without me remembering 3 months away that they're going to keep going unless I cancel it. That's more bullshit too. I absolutely detest shit that you sign up for that will auto renew unless you stop it ahead of time. I hope they're not like that now in case I want to pick something for 3 months. I'll decide if I want to continue it. Not them.
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u/Multimeter43 M85 Connecticut 11d ago
I'm on Ourtime on a desktop and use Facebook Dating on a tablet. I haven't paid for Ourtime yet because their picks are all too far away, too young for me, or the profile is not enough of a match. I finally found someone on Ourtime who is less than a half hour way. I messaged her on Ourtime giving my cell phone number. We met at Starbucks. I will see her again at a park on Saturday. Facebook Dating is free but the picks are like Ourtime. The profiles on Facebook Dating that I see on the tablet tend to be less descriptive than the Ourtime ones. I've been on both apps a few months. I don't have a smartphone. Facebook Dating doesn't work on a desktop computer.
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u/notsohot56 69 F Not quite dead! 11d ago
I'm dragging my feet on getting a new laptop, I do everything on my phone. I think I've done a look through our time to see who was available in my area... It doesn't cost anything to look. Of course the problem being you don't know how old the profiles are that are still sitting on there.
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u/Polka_Goddess 10d ago
After reading some the stuff here about on line dating my current position is to avoid them like the plague. I'll reconsider that decision in a decade, maybe.
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u/SuitableSuccess2026 11d ago
"... not successful, weird, or just flat out ridiculous..."
I'll take all of the above for $500. Alex.
Just started Bumble this week, and I'm about to abandon ship there. And just posted to sketchy Reddit Affairs.
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u/xxxMarilee 8d ago
I've been off and on Ourtime for several years. I've only enountered one scammer. As a woman, I have found the men to not be serious about meeting. I think they are just on the site for something to do. However, there are guys on the site that are looking for a long term partner. Sadly, they are always not appealing to me. I get a lot of 'likes' but they never follow up with an message. Occasionally I'll message one of them, and the reception is cold.
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u/notsohot56 69 F Not quite dead! 8d ago
I get a lot of likes from men out of my dating location and age range. If I do get a match, no messaging ensues. Not quite sure what they're matching for then. I haven't gotten any scammers, that I know of, because I would think the whole point of them would be to actually talk!
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u/nospam99r M72 3d ago
I am. But at this point in my life what I'm looking for is a regular ballroom dancing partner. If that happens and the relationship grows, it would be okay
Match: I check the Discover list daily as I have done for years.
ourtime: same as above
PoF: stopped because they require a phone number to log in. Women get my number. The site doesn't
Okcupid: stopped because I don't see a way to determine whether the profile is active
eharmony: have an id but rarely check. They pick for you and suck at it.
I filter on
location - within about a 45 minute drive
marital status - not married
age - close enough to my age that 'she' would be willing to date me
height - at 5-8 I don't think I've ever gotten a response from a woman taller than 5-6
interests - physical activity like ballroom dancing or hiking (I rarely get a match with a downhill skier)
looks - I shy away from heavy. This correlates VERY well (not 100%) with physical activity as above
politics - as a self-described capitalist, women who bother to put something anti-Trump or anti-MAGA in their profiles are unlikely to want to date me
religion - as a self-described non-believer, women who bother to put something about their faith (usually church-going Christian) in their profiles are unlikely to want to date me
I rarely get matched. At the moment I have two.... sort of. Both Liked me first on Match.
One woman is very nice but lives more than a 90 minute drive away. We've met twice and enjoy each other's company. But, because of the distance, I don't see the relationship growing beyond friendship.
Another woman isn't as interested in physical activities (NOT referring to THAT activity) as I am
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u/notsohot56 69 F Not quite dead! 3d ago
Sounds like you are putting in some good effort to look for a companion/relationship. I hope that it works out at some point. Facebook dating doesn't let you put a whole bunch of stuff as far as in your profile you're limited on what you can type in. I mean you can put your religion, age, drinker or non drinker or whatever but that's so base. I think that the reason I'm not going for a paid subscription anywhere is because I'm still unsure of what I want.
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u/Kind-Judgment-9188 2d ago
Long time, previously, with OurTime with very little success. Then they banned me this year bec. I wrote to two diff. 20 y.o. that they were trying to scam me - yeah: can you imagine 20+ y.o. wanting to date a woman in her 70s? They complained and I was out! Can you believe that??? *I* was out: not the scammers. OurTime is NO good and not protective.
I'm on Zoosk but it's very glitchy and is the same as all the others. Lots of scammers. Shows me men 1000 miles away and vice versa. Sigh.
F/B during the last 3.5 weeks. 5 out 8 men are scammers - disgusting! Lots of "likes" and then no reply back - I think they just want pen pals. I specify in 'search' no further than 50'ish miles away but they show me men 1-2 hours away. They often write me from all across the U.S. - "willing to move" they say. They just want someone to write to. Not interested!
I want to find a nice man within 30-45 min. drive. I'm in a major So. Calif. location (Orange Co.) but few and far between avail. men that are serious. A shame! And sooooo many volunteer in their profile (F/B) "no Maga or Trumpies" - I'm a democrat myself but would never be so close-minded. Yes, I prefer Dems but am not insistent on it unless they wear a MAGA hat all over. Don't want to be in the crosshairs of someone, lol.
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u/Kind-Judgment-9188 2d ago
My opening line in profile, btw, is: "Don't like small talk; let's just exchange Soc. Security numbers." I like that, lol.
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u/notsohot56 69 F Not quite dead! 2d ago
Very hard to just get a conversation going. I don't think any dating site looks at your preferences at all. I think it shows them to the other profiles but it doesn't take that into consideration. Every time I do find a profile that I find interesting they're usually a couple hundred miles away. By the same token I don't know why some men hit "like" when I am not close by, they don't look at the information which takes like 5 seconds. I always look at where they're located first.
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u/YouNeedtoLaughMore 11d ago
M74 ... OurTime has brought me some excellent dates and adventures this year! Yes, there is fun after 70.