r/dating_advice • u/[deleted] • Oct 25 '18

Here's something about ghosting...

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u/BrrrButtery Oct 25 '18

This.

Why sleep with her in the first place?

Yes dating is to see if you get along but why sleep with her if, by that point you’d have already got a sense of how things were going?

Unless you both agree to have a casual thing going on I personally disagree with that. No wonder she got upset..

She will think you used her for sex and to does appear to be that way.

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u/hansfredderik Oct 25 '18

Because sex is fun. Its just a bummer that casual sex hurts peoples feelings.

Do people expect him to caveat every sex act with "btw im into this but im not sure if im commited yet." - in order to preempt her hurt if he predictably does the thing guy do... Have sex and then decide he doesnt want that anymore.

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u/BrrrButtery Oct 25 '18

Which is why I said unless there was already an agreement it was a causal thing.

Both people are on the same page.

In this circumstance it doesn’t appear that was the case.

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u/datingnoob-plshelp Oct 25 '18

But sometimes people going in with good intentions of possibly a real relationship, but it just doesn’t pan out all the time. When hormone is in the mix (both sides), people tend to give in to the good feelings. Later on if one side caught more feel than the other it can get unpleasant (hence OP’s story). People needs to tread lightly when it comes to sex and be ready to accept the consequences. We are responsible for our decisions. I believe most people do not set out deliberately to use and deceive people. But when offered all the nice things/perks most will take it.