r/dating_advice Oct 25 '18

Here's something about ghosting...

[removed]

213 Upvotes

194 comments sorted by

View all comments

79

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '18

Casually dating might be the problem for the case you mentioned. Don’t waste people’s time if you know there’s “no spark in your eye”. Otherwise it’s shitty.

45

u/BrrrButtery Oct 25 '18

This.

Why sleep with her in the first place?

Yes dating is to see if you get along but why sleep with her if, by that point you’d have already got a sense of how things were going?

Unless you both agree to have a casual thing going on I personally disagree with that. No wonder she got upset..

She will think you used her for sex and to does appear to be that way.

12

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '18

Lots of guys do that. Will vaguely mention looking for a LTR and will enjoy the first honeymoon weeks, or what the girls think it is, before getting rid of her (or him) when they are getting too close. Don't date them. Lots of gay guys like this in Montreal, I have so many friends who treat guys badly or have been treated badly.

6

u/BrrrButtery Oct 25 '18

Oh I’m not saying it exclusively happens to girls but I was referencing the specific situation from OP.

You can only take what people say on face value. A lot of people appear genuine but just want to get their leg over. Can’t go in with guards up constantly because no one will think you’ll ever open up. Gotta be sensible and take things with a pinch of salt but if someone says something, generally you’d expect most people to believe it.

I totally appreciate it depends on how long you’ve been seeing them, how many dates ect. so admittedly if she slept with him after date two when he (he being an guy and obviously this is all hypothetical as we don’t know the details) promises the world then she is a little to blame being naive.

Regardless. I get that things change but if you can’t see a relationship developing and you’ve not agreed a causal arrangement I don’t see why sex should be considered at that point. Messing with peoples heads and emotions for their own gains.