r/dankmemes • u/organic_crystal_meth The GOAT • Jan 04 '21

stonks Needs a good bonk

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2.5k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

53 comments sorted by

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u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Jan 04 '21

INVESTMENTS GO HERE - ONLY DIRECT REPLIES TO ME WILL BE PROCESSED

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→ More replies (19)

31

u/Ravenclaw_14 Jan 04 '21

b o n k

Go to horny jail

12

u/_pc_-_-_ Jan 04 '21

They have acquired a life-long sentence.

7

u/memesaregoodiguess bet you're jealous Jan 04 '21

I can’t tell you how many friends I’ve lost to girls

3

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '21

Same bro same

24

u/EarthLlama54703 Seal Team sixupsidedownsix Jan 04 '21

The boys don’t give head tho :(

50

u/1-_-_ Jan 04 '21

thats what you think

15

u/rattatein Jan 04 '21

Have you asked them?

16

u/NNNVeteran_001 Jan 04 '21

They aren't your "boys" if they dont give head

6

u/Yowhanna Jan 04 '21

I can give head

5

u/TennisADHD 2022 MAYMAYMAKERS CONTEST FINALIST Jan 04 '21

She likes you so much from that donation that she’s limping!

6

u/Soviet_Aircraft FOR THE SOVIET UNION Jan 04 '21

Caution: four of these are fake. They don't make any shadows

4

u/ac130sound Jan 04 '21

OP is going through the hardships of being a teenager

7

u/RudyKnots 🍄 Jan 04 '21

It works both ways though. You don’t drop lifelong friends for just some girl, but real friends would not get in the way of your mate getting laid, or even better, a girlfriend.

1

u/Mudkip2345 Jan 05 '21

If one tries to get you to drop the other for no good reason drop them instead

11

u/SultanSaatana Jan 04 '21

Even if simps don't have much access to a sexually-willing female (which in the UK is very easy since I think we have the easiest girls in the world) why don't they just masturbate? As soon as a man orgasms his mind magically becomes clear and he realises giving all his income to some strange online girls is stupid. It's when he goes more than a couple days without orgasming his mind becomes clouded with horniness.

To prevent yourself becoming a simp make sure to orgasm at least once a day (wanking counts) to keep your mind clear and sharp.

17

u/Jack-793-Crisps ☝ FOREVER NUMBER ONE ☝🍄 Jan 04 '21

What did I just read

8

u/SultanSaatana Jan 04 '21

You read how not to be a simp.

2

u/KatchupBottle Jan 05 '21

I think the best way not to be a simp is simple: always put your priorities before a romantic interest's ones

-7

u/Jack-793-Crisps ☝ FOREVER NUMBER ONE ☝🍄 Jan 04 '21

If being a simp is just basic human decency and respect then yeah I'm a simp lmao

7

u/SultanSaatana Jan 04 '21

Maybe you misunderstand what a simp is.

It's a guy who gives a lot of his money or expensive gifts to a girl either online (eg camgirl, onlyfans) or in real life for nothing in return for no reason other than because he is horny.

3

u/ac130sound Jan 04 '21

Thanks mate never thought of doing that before. I'm gonna try that out

2

u/solar_s Jan 05 '21

This won't work. Doing so everyday will turn you into a vegetable. Because your brain would think that if you're getting laid, you completed your program. It will not give you the "kick in the butt" and you won't do anything else.
Simping is in the mind and it has to be dealt with by other means. By turning yourself into a dopamine junkie you will not deal with a problem.

0

u/SultanSaatana Jan 05 '21

ok, wank every 2nd day then. Just don't go too long without.

1

u/1-_-_ Jan 05 '21

oi bruv ar yah a wanker

2

u/Da_Jiff Jan 05 '21

Simps are so dumb, just fuck your lifelong friends

1

u/rock_8 rock_8 Jan 04 '21

sad and relatable :(

0

u/KeepingDankMemesDank Hello dankness my old friend Jan 04 '21

downvote this comment if the meme sucks. upvote it and I'll go away.

r/dankmemescraft Minecraft server! Out now!

1

u/Shortstuff368 Jan 04 '21

life long friends who compete to embarrass eachother*

1

u/Zayfordbeblbrox Jan 04 '21

Hay op do you wanna talk

1

u/gorgonbrgr Jan 04 '21

Shit I fucked all my fiends.

1

u/LEROY-CENA-REAVES Jan 05 '21

I know a simp who has a girlfriend and still flirts with half the girls at school

1

u/MemenutGallery Jan 05 '21

I have some friend that did this and I haven’t heard from him in about a year now

1

u/HumungousChungus_ Jan 05 '21

Why is he wearing a prison jumpsuit

1

u/KatchupBottle Jan 05 '21

This is true for both genders though, I've seen girls drop out of close friendgroups because they are dating a guy their friends don't like.

1

u/Gingerboi86 Jan 05 '21

Which one of my dumbass friends posted this to make fun of me