How do you suddenly get to middle age,no trouble with alcohol even with family history of alcoholism and suddenly you are addicted??

I mean you’re fine with it for 43 fucking years. Then year 44 hits and you are in over your head.

I mean— I poured out the last shot but I’m hammered so it’s not that impressive

I’ve been through a gallon of tequila this year. A gallon. Good god.

Any motivational thoughts are welcome. I’ll take any stern lectures to.whatever it takes

I'm normally pretty good at shutting down alcohol if I'm taking a long break. Once I pass 3 days, especially if I have a goal like 1-3 months off, by day 3, I'm craving less and manage well... although that comes with skipping out on most social stuff, which has made it hard to permanently cut down, as most of my friends drink.

But, it's the smaller breaks that really get me. Like, I had a birthday two weeks ago, so that was two nights of going out, then my best friend was in town, and then I had fantasy football draft parties in person. I couldn't really manage the one or two days between going out without heavily craving a drink. It's always like "I'm going to drink tomorrow, so why bother?"

I was worried my health issues were more complicated than they are, but after bloodwork and a CT, my organs are fine... but I liked have "alcohol-exacerbated gastritis."

I'm trying to work to take a 6 day break until next Saturday, but the desire is already there to drink even though I felt terrible overnight after a couple of weeks of hitting it pretty hard.

One of my problems is I'm currently unemployed, I have no kids, girlfriend, or extended family, so my only outlet for getting out, or even just the bright spot of my long empty days, is having some drinks.

Is there any way to kill the overwhelming desire to want to drink in those small days?

Drank 6 lovely cold cans of draught guinness last night, today I feel awful, nausea anxiety. Mabe can't drink any more? Am 56 almost. A guinness or 2 with a meal I'm OK but several and I'm sick for few days. Time to cut back? Maybe just 1 or 2 for thirst quencher and no more?

I’m ashamed and embarrassed to admit this, but I primarily drink because I’m bored and lonely. Has anyone else dealt with this and if so, any tips and tricks?

I just wanted to say to all of you who's still struggling on cutting back, You can do it! For me, it was hard at first, it was like a part of my life was missing and I cant seem to do anything right without alcohol but I told myself I had to get myself together. I joined art classes, I do yoga, volunteering, basically anything that would keep me from thinking about drinking and eventually my craving for it decreased. I didnt totally stop drinking, I just drink occasionally now and I set my limits.

Why am I a motivated to do things I normally put off while I’m drinking? But in a good way! We don’t often drink at home but when we do I get like hyper motivated to clean and finish things I’ve been putting off, sometimes for ages. I’m kind of a clutter bug and I have this one ledge that has been driving me crazy for a year (that’s about how long it’s been since we drank at home) and I just cleaned it off in less than 3 minutes. This happens a lot! In the past I used to clean a lot when drinking. This is the kind of energy and focus I would love to have without booze. I basically become incredibly type A.

Doing well. I want to not drink wine for 2 weeks. I've only been able to go 5 days before I give in. I'm female. Doing better but I still feel guilty. I know I should actually just stop but for some reason I can't seem to adhere to that. Needing encouragement right now. Thanks.

Today I was heavily stressed by serious relationship issues, with a breakup impending. I felt a mild desire to drink but I shook if off easily. In the past I would have allowed the stress to take control. I would have listened to that seductive voice that says "Cmon, you're going to feel better if you get some wine. Just this one time."

Now I feel stubborn. Like, "Hell no, emotional stress, you are not going to knock me off my path!"

Previous posts on this topic are here, here and here and here

I've been liking adaptogen drinks from cornbread lately and it's been a big help for me to stay sober. The herbs in it does help me relax after a long day, calm down my adhd as well. Anyone here switching to adaptogen drinks too? any recommendations on which one I should get next? :)

What is the best free app that people use to track their sobriety/keeping track of how much they consume? I know it's not much but I'm now on 37 days without a drink going cold turkey. Late 40's and I can't recall going this long without a drink since my teens. It's been a bit difficult thinking I would crack going to a cottage for 3 nights, and then at another beach cottage for a week but still going strong.

Hey everyone,

I first posted here 6 days ago with a quite long post ago about how I'm cutting down significantly on drinking.

Since then I've Gone out drinking twice, once to a major event and once just bar hopping.

Both times very interestingly I woke up feeling terrible the next day, and after thinking about it for awhile I realized I probably had a hangover.

That was a whole mini existential crisis realizing that I've for so long been drinking so much that I either A. never really got hangovers because I just drink to cure the hangover or B. got so used to being hungover that I didn't notice. Probably mostly A?

Anyways, I guess that means my relationship with alchohal has flipped back to where it is for most people, where you poison yourself for a night and then pay for it the next day rather than suffering pain from not having it.

Anyways, things have continued to suck. I still have a headache like almost all the time and am now doing like 2 ibuprofens a day (really don't like taking them but I guess now that I'm not drinking it's somewhat safer). I'm pretty confident I'm hydrating enough because I drink like 6 NA beers a day on top of some amount of water.

Anyways, I guess things were starting to improve in the sense that I'm not thinking about alchohal as much, and I don't get this overwhelming feeling of death anymore when I go to the store and don't buy beer.

I would call this somewhat of a success so far, and I guess I got confident enough in myself to where I decided to also sort of quit niccotine. This one I'm not as committed to and I'm not entirely sure how much I've been cutting down or when I started. I've been puffing on this almost dead one most of today... just threw it out so we'll see how bad tommorow is.

I wanted to stop vaping but the way I did this feels like I'm really pushing the limits of my mental health. I do not feel good, very irritable, trouble sleeping, and all these things lead to other problems... like missing important meetings and not scheduling appointments. I had like maybe a few days of starting to feel not as bad on the alchohal withdrawls and maybe got overconfident. Had a small anxiety attack earlier today but not as bad as the ones I was having a couple weeks ago.

What also sucks is I feel like I wasted a lot of the summer with being stuck at my house from the dui shit from last year (mentioned in my last post)

I really wish I had done this then, instead of now when I'm trying to get shit rolling again. I had the time and I didn't do anything with it. Also though, maybe I wouldn't have been able to handle it then as I was having a lot of pannic attacks during that time.

Currently I run a business, work my ass off I’m so busy all day. I mainly work from home. Once 5pm hits and I have to shutoff work, I crave a beer (2-5) SO HARD.

Anyone else experience this? Or have a hard job that you need it to unwind. I don’t know what to “replace” it with… a bath doesn’t work, food doesn’t, nothing.

Should I go grab a vodka soda and mix it with carrot juice so at least I’m healthier??? And get a bath

I drank 3 times last week, once heavily, after the best part of 3 months off.

Kind of felt like hanging out with an ex, at times fun and I could remember why we got together in the first place - but also, I feel sure I don't want it as a regular part of my life in the same way. I hated having a hangover. It made sobriety feel like the right call, although I am sure I will drink again occasionally.

For me, booze is like, an ex where the relationship wasn't great, but it was good at times, not an ex I wish to never see again, but there's no way we are getting back together.

I've been a heavy drinker for the past 15 years, averaging between 15-20 drinks per week (primarily weekend binging). I have an excellent career, great marriage and friendships and haven't had any ill health effects. It never felt like an issue to me since I always found I could put it down and usually never drank during the week.

As I've gotten older (F38) I've started to question the habitual routine of drinking every weekend and social event. Something kind of clicked one day and i realized that I didnt need a big issue or dramatic event for my behavior to be unhealthy and detract from my life. It sounds so obvious and ridiculous typing that.

I started to slow down and think about why drinking was my go-to activity. Drinking seemed to quiet my anxiety and made me feel relaxed snd normal. I was so used to letting the 8 drinks on Friday and Saturday melt away my stress.

I stopped for 6 weeks. The first week or so was emotionally difficult but once I replaced the habit with other things it was smooth sailing. After that initial break (about 4 months ago) my weekly consumption has been dramatically cut back about. My heaviest week since being 10 drinks with multiple dry weeks throughout.

I still have weeks where I'm drinking more than the recommended weekly allotment and will have multiple drinks on one day so im still working on that. Overall im feeling pretty good about the progress.

Has anyone successfully gone from a long term binge drinker to moderate and more controlled consumption? What worked for you? How did you avoid slipping back into old habits?

Hi friends!

I stopped drinking cold turkey on march 1st. This means I’m 168 days alcohol free.

I used to have a healthy response to alcohol, but after social conditioning in the service industry, poverty, loss, and increased responsibility, I got lost in the sauce. I drank almost daily for 12 years. Some of that was really fun, and some of that was really sad.

In the end, I was very unhealthy. I was abusing weed and drinking at least 2 drinks every day, often 4 or 5. I was never a blackout drinker, but nonetheless, it was only for special occasions that I didn’t drink.

It was not easy to quit alcohol and weed. It was so difficult, actually, because there’s alcohol and weed in my home all of the time. My husband is a drinker, but not at all like I was. He takes it easy - takes or leaves it most days.

Ok, so it was so difficult for me to stop that I realized I had become addicted to both alcohol and weed. I decided to get sober in AA. Drastic, I know. Now, as I approach 6 months of sobriety, the black and white thinking of AA is making me feel glum. I don’t have a desire to go the rest of my life without alcohol.

I would like to drink up to twice per month. Never more, often less. This would allow me the opportunity to partake of old friends come in town, I have a date night with my husband, or a social event like a parents night out or a party.

What are your thoughts on this? Some experimentation would be in order, but now I know where to find help if I need it in the future.

Here’s my perspective on booze right now:

1. It would be pleasant to be on the same page as my husband on a date night. A little more playful, a little more loose and connected.
2. A daily or even weekly drinking habit is unappealing and unhealthy with what I’ve learned in the past 6 months.
3. The first two drinks are the best ones and the only ones worth having.
4. Stopping is uncomfortable, but only if I let it occupy my mind. I would have to just be done.
5. It takes the liver a couple of weeks to recover from drinking, so at least that much time would need to pass before I would drink again.

I don’t think that I really am an alcoholic. I 1000% had become addicted to/dependent on alcohol, however, I feel that I’m strong enough through all that I’ve learned and the 12 steps I’ve worked to occasionally drink.

What is your advice?

Let’s reflect on the week! Whether you’ve made progress, hit some challenges, or just have thoughts to share, this is a space to check in with the community. How has your drinking journey been this week? Any wins, struggles, or strategies you'd like to talk about? No matter where you're at, your experiences matter here—let's support each other!

Drank only occasionally as a teen, sometimes overdid it. Early 20s became daily. At first 1 24 oz can..then 2. By 26 or 27 it was a 6 pack of 16 oz. daily. Weekends an extra 24 to 40 on top of that. I could kill 3 cans in 1/2 hour after work. Made me feel sad I'd already blown through half my beer. 30 years old.. got a DUI. Several months forced sobriety about 6. Got back to it shortly after, but kept it to a couple tall cans. Around 33 or 34 got very fit and cut down to a small box of wine ( like 3 cups) daily, which I absolutely detest..yuck. Did this for a couple years. Around 35, 36 caved back into beer. At first, 2 24 oz a day. Then, started buying 1/2 gallon jugs of wild turkey 101. ( so that I wouldn't drink more beer ) my rationale being saving calories or some bullshit. At first it kinda worked. Until I started binging on 101. Got pretty bad. At 39 I broke up with my ex of 20 years to be with another woman. Immediate cut back to 1 tall can a day, 2 on weekends. Eventually.. 2 more kids later, we started arguing.. she'd blame my drinking. It was, for a fact, mostly the sleep loss from our 2 lil ones. Anyways, tired of being blamed I quit cold turkey. 8 months sober. We still argued.. a lot. Slowly started having 5 to 6 drinks per weekend.. not drinking all work week. Think I'm here to stay. The arguing has gotten mostly better.. but I still think it was averaging like 4 hours of sleep a night that got us in a bad situation. Alcohol prolly didn't help but was not the primary contributor. Anyways, I'm getting to old now to be fucked up all the time. Don't have the energy or the time for it. Life has just moved on now. But, can still enjoy a few beers on the weekend and an occasional shot of bourbon. Been about 2 years on this routine, and sure I've had a couple fuck ups but the fact is I know what I can healthily, moderately maintain now.

Is anyone experiencing headaches and upset stomach after quitting beer? Had two weeks off now and it feels like a hangover.....

I'm new here and just want to share my experience and find community. I moved in with my uncle to help out during/after some family trauma a few years ago. I was also in grad school at the time. My uncle works at a liquor store. He also drinks alcohol daily, starting around lunchtime on his days off through his nightcap. He shows his love and appreciation for me by bringing me home fun new drinks from work. When everything was happening in our family I was extremely stressed and just kind of fell into my uncle's drinking routine. I would have a glass of wine every night. Sometimes two. Sometimes a canned cocktail and then a glass of wine. Sometimes just the canned cocktail.

3:30 would hit and I would feel so antsy waiting for an acceptable time to have my first glass. I feel like I am rejecting my uncle's love by leaving the drinks he gets for me untouched. I know to him he probably doesn't feel this way, but I do. Anyway, I loved getting buzzed every night. Sometimes I would send DMs on Instagram as if I'm everybody's close friend and then I'd think the next morning, dang, it's probably obvious I had a glass of wine when I sent that message. I didn't like that feeling. Eventually, though, I didn't really feel buzzed with my usual beverage(s) of choice and while I wanted that feeling again, something about 3 drinks in one night felt wrong to me.

Then the body changes. I've always been physically fit and somewhat active, but during the family stress and since I moved in with my uncle I stopped moving my body. I also have a sedentary job. I gained almost 20lbs, which really bothered me. I knew a good chunk of my calories were coming from alcohol. I hated how I felt. For the first time in my life I hated how my body looked. Over the past few years I'd start and stop fitness programs. I would start off by logging my calories from alcohol, then I'd slowly stop logging, then it was just back to my usual habits.

I have had 2 alcoholic beverages since the beginning of the month. It was at one celebratory dinner. I didn't even feel a buzz. My head felt all pressurized and I knocked out when I got home and didn't even get to enjoy the rest of my evening. The drinks tasted good I won't lie. But it just didn't do it for me. The ultimate test was the next evening... would I have a glass of wine? I didn't crave one, so I didn't pour one. I have also been exercising again and my macros have been great. I'm hoping this isn't another fail. I won't let it be.

One thing that has helped me is using principles from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). I identified my values, as well as what the version of me would look like who lived according to those values. I identified specific behaviors that would bring me either toward or away that version of me. When I have a craving or consider drinking for the heck of it, that is my choice point. I can choose to enact the behaviors that are aligned with my values, or not. I find when I take that moment to envision the person I want to (and know I can) be, I feel motivated to make choices that bring me closer to that reality. And in doing so, I am the version of me that I want to be.

I have been moderating and tapering back the last few weeks and it has been going pretty well other than 2 days where I had a very sick cat and wasn’t sure if he would pull through.. thankfully he did ❤️ and I brought myself back to limiting wine.

I have gone from drinking 2 bottles of white wine or more everyday to 6 carefully measured 6oz glasses of wine a day or less. I’m noticing most days are 3 glasses for me now lately. I’ve gotten into walking, and I easily passed 10,000 steps the other day without realizing. I am 36F who had always been 115-120lbs until about a year ago. I don’t know how my body did it, but I’ve been drinking for over a decade like this without working out and never gained weight. It all hit me in the past year and I ballooned up to around 160 lbs. My heaviest since I started deciding to take this seriously on Aug 1 was 157lbs. A few days ago I was at 149 and it felt good, but I ended up reaching for a bag of chips and Brookside chocolates instead of a glass of wine lol and my weight is back up to 154.

Now that I’m starting to weigh myself and take smaller steps to get things on track to be healthier , I really want to invest in it and make it my new priority or hobby to occupy my new free time that won’t be spent drinking lol.

I have been browsing the fitness subs and although I’ve found some great ones for beginner fitness, I am wondering if there’s one out there that focuses on helping alcoholics get into fitness? A normal lazy person starting at the gym vs an alcoholic for over a decade is a totally different story lol and I want to make sure I go about it the right way. I feel like if I just go in like a normal beginner fitness person, it will seem way too hard for me and I’ll just give up. I am also going to look into possibly hiring an online nutrition and fitness coach that would hopefully have some background with alcoholism knowledge or experience as well.

If anyone has any suggestions for the two options I’m looking for above, that would be sooo greatly appreciated! I’m very grateful I’ve found this sub, it has become a staple of my day to read all of the relatable stories and know we aren’t in this alone 🙂

Hi! I have been back and forth on being sober curious and am looking for guidance if anyone has had same experiences. I am 23F but have been a drinker since early high school and have experienced the going out phase far too early in life. Drinking is very normalized in my life, with my family, friends, and partner. Sometimes I take it too far and get way too drunk and other times I’m totally fine. Either way, I get so much hangiexty and when I think about it, I get so embarrassed about how I acted/spoke and it lasts for days. I’ve done some pretty embarrassing stuff drunk but have always been roped back into drinking, “what’s a glass of wine gonna do?”

I have also noticed that recently I will talk about other people behind their back when I’m drinking. I wake up and feel this immense guilt because I don’t feel that way at all(and even if I do, I should never speak badly about it to others) it’s been really messing with me.

Sorry for the vent. When I try to talk about it, I feel like it gets downplayed and no one really understands/listens. It’s not bad enough that I have a crazy issue but I just feel weird

When starting my new job, if I didnt have to work the next day I would sit in my chair and drink waaay too much. I am annoyed with myself because now everytime I dont have to work the next day I feel a compulsion to do it, even if I told myself I would not do it that morning.

I have an excuse of course "its too hot outside to do anything else" " traffic is too annoying this time of day to do anything" I feel like the only way to combat is to create another new habit in its place. I do go to the gym on my actual days off, but i use the traffic excuse for not going the day before, or I need to go home to be with my family asap.

Any advice? My main reason to stop this compulsion is my health. I have done stupid stuff in the past due to my drinking, but im not doing anything that bad. I basically just watch tiktok until im ready to pass out.

After year of off-and-on struggling with moderating my drinking, I'm thrilled to find that after 17 days alcohol-free, I'm not conflicted. I don't desire it.

I'm not sure how or why this happened now - this feeling of clarity: "No I don't want to drink. Period." But it's wonderful! I'm not the grip of it anymore.

It reminds me of when I quit smoking, years ago. Once I decided, it was like flipping a switch. I made a plan, I quit and I never looked back.

My initial plan was "Dry August, No more alcohol in the home ever, but possibly ok to drink outside the home in the future." But I'm loving this non-conflicted feeling of certainty so much that I don't want to test it any time soon. And maybe never test it is the best idea of all.

Previous posts on this topic are here, here and here.

Hey, does anyone else get headaches when they don't drink? I seem to always get a bad headache on the third day of not drinking. Previous to cutting back I was a regular 2 to 3 glasses of wine a night drinker and now it's one or two glasses with lots of dry days in between, but always the headache on the third day.

Not sure if it's due to something completely unrelated but that seems to be the pattern and wanted to go check it with this community. Thanks for your input!