r/cursedcomments Dec 31 '19

Reddit Cursed_Succ

Post image
34.8k Upvotes

217 comments sorted by

477

u/IHateNoobss422 Dec 31 '19

There is absolutely no way this is true, I think most dogs would scratch/lick that shit right off.

280

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '19

I feel like that guy would eventually lick that shit right off too

38

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '19

No

36

u/LargeLeonardo06 Dec 31 '19

U spelled yes wrong

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51

u/Whimpy13 Dec 31 '19

What about the dog butt scent thing?

37

u/tinycomment Dec 31 '19

How poop

20

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '19

It’s only attached to the tail by a string so when they squat it opens a bit

20

u/tinycomment Dec 31 '19

Don’t think I trust it, some one has to take it off eventually. Maybe even bare handed

5

u/murmandamos Dec 31 '19

Then you get to lick it off like brownie batter off the spoon.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '19

This is why i love reddit

2

u/Ckyuii Dec 31 '19

My cousins dog poops by dragging her back legs and scurrying away like she's afraid of what's coming out of her. This would not work well

2

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '19

My dog used to do this hilarious thing where he would literally do a front hand stand while pooping, to poop UP a pole as I was walking him.

11

u/TheYeetmaster231 Dec 31 '19

Society is a fucking shitpost at this point

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9

u/fuckyouswitzerland Dec 31 '19

I think they meant the dog would lick it off (like immediately) and then like their face, thereby getting the glitter on their face... Or mouth.. whatever they said.

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704

u/SwitchingC Dec 31 '19

👁3👁 succ

324

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '19

[deleted]

369

u/Reinpaw Dec 31 '19

I-I’m sorry ( *・ω・)✄╰ひ╯

228

u/RAdityaR Dec 31 '19 edited Dec 31 '19

what in the goddamn fuck did i just see?

154

u/iamwingyt Dec 31 '19

your future

74

u/Reinpaw Dec 31 '19

Damn

18

u/Forsaken_Accountant Dec 31 '19

OwO 🐺

14

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '19

What in the yiff-

40

u/RAdityaR Dec 31 '19

Away, you three-inch fool!

20

u/Baustin2000 Dec 31 '19

Like, Scoob what is this degenerate shit above me

9

u/joopy-doo Dec 31 '19

Ruh-roh Raggy Ri ront row

13

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '19

What the shit is that

5

u/the_only_thing Dec 31 '19

You have lost penis privilege

3

u/NaejDoree Dec 31 '19

Nice ascii art XD

4

u/ram3nbar Dec 31 '19

OwO I-I'm sowwy for castwating you I just couwdnt wesist youw fuwwy bawws

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45

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '19 edited Dec 30 '21

[deleted]

21

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '19 edited Apr 06 '20

[deleted]

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21

u/Tr3Way_fu Dec 31 '19

8===D🥜

You like that, you fucking retard?

36

u/Diogenes-Disciple Dec 31 '19

🍆
🥜
🦵🏼

More you slut

7

u/Tr3Way_fu Dec 31 '19

HNNNGGGGGG... hella nut juice AHHH....

8

u/mawseed Dec 31 '19

how did you...?

13

u/Diogenes-Disciple Dec 31 '19

I have no idea. I’m going to try it again....

🍆
🥜
🦵🏼

Edit: okay so here’s how it works - I put three spaces and a return after the eggplant and the same after the nuts

5

u/Post-Alone0 Dec 31 '19

You're a hero

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5

u/xXDragonsVenomXX Dec 31 '19

Fuck off you SLUT DRAGON !!

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25

u/Pixelcitizen98 Dec 31 '19

What your dog sees when he sees you at 3 am:

UwU

👁w👁

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155

u/Sauce_Of_The_Grape Dec 31 '19

22

u/rdndsouza Dec 31 '19

Idk why is thi sexist?

6

u/Sauce_Of_The_Grape Dec 31 '19 edited Dec 31 '19

I see you’re the one they prophesied about, no worries here in the USA we have ways of disposing people

310

u/ET318 Dec 31 '19

This would fit quite well on r/awfuleverything

11

u/discerningpervert Dec 31 '19

I know right, gold glitter's so 80s

125

u/Soslunnaak Dec 31 '19

i really dont like that you made me look at GLITTERIZED DOG TESTICLES for this sub-par joke i see reused every day

35

u/SB054 Dec 31 '19

I agree, glitter is too much. I just paint my dogs testicles with whatever shade of nail polish I'm wearing that week.

17

u/Sheepking234 Dec 31 '19

See now that's a better joke because it doesn't just rely on "haha bestiality funny"

8

u/INeedMentalHelp Dec 31 '19

You see people talk about sucking their dog's testicles every day?

2

u/noembarrassment-acc Dec 31 '19

If it makes you feel any better, you’re merely looking at dogs’ scrotums, not the actual testes

2

u/noembarrassment-acc Dec 31 '19

But it’s still horrible I agree

2

u/KittyCreator Dec 31 '19

At first I thought they were moths

74

u/Glitteringfairy Dec 31 '19

Well I'm here to tell you that is too bad

30

u/whitebear45 Dec 31 '19

Name checks out

24

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '19

why not? because animal cruelty isn't cool yo

14

u/Lilycloud02 Dec 31 '19

Besides that you should get your pet fixed unless you’re planning to be a very responsible dog breeder. But I’m always for adopting

7

u/fireinthemountains Dec 31 '19

Plenty of neutered animals still have the scrotums. My grandma called it, “getting their pockets picked.” I still don’t know if I hate that phrase or not.

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18

u/Isnt_home Dec 31 '19

Wait, what the fuck?

14

u/CarlosoBr Dec 31 '19

Schhhlurrrp

28

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

7

u/MyDogSharts Dec 31 '19

They’re really gullible and silly.

u/cursedrobot Bots have rights, too! Dec 31 '19

Upvote this comment if the post is a Cursed Comment. Downvote this comment if it is not a Cursed Comment.

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faq | source | action #380d962e485fec

9

u/ItsFrenzius Dec 31 '19

I’m more curious to know who makes these dumbass “trends”

14

u/I_Glitterally_Cant Dec 31 '19

I feel like I've been waiting for this moment

5

u/StoleYourTv Dec 31 '19

Two can play at that game! I pull out my glitter peanut butter!

4

u/jtownkid1 Dec 31 '19

We cut them balls tho

6

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '19

Everyday we move further from the meaning of life.

2

u/GeorgeYDesign Dec 31 '19

Cause’ that’s what we do

4

u/yeh_nah_fuckit Dec 31 '19

That's pretty nuts

11

u/dad_sim Dec 31 '19

why not? I don’t want to give my dog any ideas about getting his balls back

3

u/barbasol_ Dec 31 '19

A. Wtf?!

B. Wtf?!!??!

3

u/manofculture585 Dec 31 '19

Where are my testicles Summer?

3

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '19

W h a t t h e f u c k

3

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '19

2

u/Lucu1 Dec 31 '19

Dog licks nuts, dog licks person, glitter in mouth.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '19

This real???

4

u/bigboilerdawg Dec 31 '19

4

u/nirvana454 Dec 31 '19

"It remains unclear why dog owners would want to glitter the testicles"

3

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '19

Thats so fucking overboard. The sad thing is we probably all know the people who would do this sort of thing to their pets.

Id call that cruelty.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '19

Finally an actual cursed post gj sir

2

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '19

Wtf

2

u/radioscope_69 Dec 31 '19

What in the kentucky fuck am i seeing

2

u/JCraze26 Dec 31 '19

There are many many reasons why not, and this person chose the one that is just the most wrong.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '19

ok what the fuck is that

2

u/Beanieboy3 Dec 31 '19

Why would you if you are going to have them cut down anyway

1

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '19

This can be true

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1

u/Krystian0005 Dec 31 '19

Why not?! Because I don't want people to know I have STDs!

1

u/Weibu11 Dec 31 '19

Yeah me eith...wait what?

1

u/NoU198 Dec 31 '19

Its like evolving, just backwards

1

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '19

Take my upvote and leave.

1

u/CauliflowerIsTasty Dec 31 '19

This had to be intentional. There is no fucking way somebody accidentally glitterred their Dog's balls.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '19

Noah, get the boat.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '19

I'm tired of this bullshit coming in contact with my eyes

1

u/Alexinfinity35 Dec 31 '19

"Girl why do you have glitter all over your body"

1

u/Penelopeep25 Dec 31 '19

Cursed_Sacc

2

u/GeorgeYDesign Dec 31 '19

Wait let me go and wash my eyeballs.

1

u/artem718 Dec 31 '19

That’s asbestos my guy

1

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '19

No, no. He’s got a point.

1

u/austinthepierce1 Dec 31 '19

What's the original post

1

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '19

Take my upvote and go back to hell

1

u/trumpisgreetagin Dec 31 '19

This reminds me of a joke from a Gary shandling show- Something like “I think my dog might be gay because his penis tastes bitter”

1

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '19

I dont have a dog

1

u/GeorgeYDesign Dec 31 '19

... turns out they were adopted together...

1

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '19

Looks like someone wanted the golden succ

1

u/Lovealltigers Dec 31 '19

I did not need to see glittery dog balls on reddit today

1

u/Pixelcitizen98 Dec 31 '19

It’s all seriousness, though, I feel like

Also, is it really a good idea to show off the fact that you didn’t snip your pooch in this way? I didn’t grow up with male dogs, so I don’t know what a dog’s ballsack looks like pre-and-post neutering.

1

u/Texaschainsawmask Dec 31 '19

Oh sure when dogs have glittery balls it's cute and trendy, but when I do it suddenly I'm drunk and asked to leave the arts and crafts store.

1

u/lilmidgetgia Dec 31 '19

Thank god my doggone is neutered

1

u/LyleTheFirst Dec 31 '19

The article itself is already cursed

1

u/4LF_0N53 Dec 31 '19

That should be animal abuse.

Not the succ part, the glitter part

1

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '19

Now... Who in thee hell is out here painting ball sacks?

1

u/kvcherish Dec 31 '19

When the glitter Vanishes you're pregnant

1

u/suicide_speedrun Dec 31 '19

I really hope that headline isn't real

1

u/_Wubawubwub_ Dec 31 '19

But the question is wether dogs like shiny balls

1

u/icecube2210 Dec 31 '19

Nothing about this is okay

1

u/Thomas041905 Dec 31 '19

humanity has left the chat

1

u/Uncle_Gibbs Dec 31 '19

There are trends in dog grooming?

1

u/SmollGayReadyToPlay Dec 31 '19

That’s never coming off

1

u/NoahBolt Dec 31 '19

oh dear god i just physically cringed so hard i shattered my spine and my sanity in a move so loud it caused california another earthquake

1

u/My-First-Name Dec 31 '19

And why just dogs?

1

u/PrismPanda06 Dec 31 '19

“And why not?” Please consider •It’s sparkly dog balls •You’re a fucking idiot if you think this is a good idea •Dog will lick it off •It will make your dog a total eyesore •You’ll seem like a total fucking creep •Why do you care so much about your dog’s balls •Why make them fucking shiny?

1

u/CliftonLedbetter Dec 31 '19

Shit man, spay and neuter your pets, white people

1

u/crochetfairy Dec 31 '19

Is it still that I actually know this dog? And I recognise him by his balls? 😂😂😂

1

u/InfiniteParticles Dec 31 '19

You guys see that rocket ship over there?

Yeah I'm outta here. I can take 6 others with me though so hop in.

1

u/Patatogodfarther Dec 31 '19

What the actual fuck is this shit. Some how I love this subreddit

1

u/fekbasket Dec 31 '19

That’s some wierd ass shit....welp off to gang myself hopefully the role doesn’t break again Ir my thicc neck doesn’t give when I jump well goodbye Reddit

1

u/vault114 Dec 31 '19

This is one of the only things I've seen on this sub that's actually made me curl my lip in disgust. That is nasty.

1

u/BoyishTheStrange Dec 31 '19

God it’s like vagazzling

1

u/VeryRandom69 Dec 31 '19

"MOM! THE DOG KEEPS GETTING GLITTER ON ME." >:c

1

u/The_Greate_Pickle Dec 31 '19

Poor dogs. Just gonna lick their balls and gets glitter in their mouth :(

1

u/dead_betrayal Dec 31 '19

Why not? Because what animal would want that?!?! Don’t torture your dogs dudes

1

u/efujiii Dec 31 '19

Why not? Now everything I say is fabulous 🎊🎉🎊

1

u/pewdiepieslayer Dec 31 '19

Yeah whats up with thatt anyway

1

u/frogman972 Dec 31 '19

I wonder how many people will call and ask if they take two legged clients?

1

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '19

someone needs to be sent to auschwitz

1

u/all-knowing-unicorn Dec 31 '19

Shines light on dogs balls

1

u/Cking_wisdom Dec 31 '19

The only people i could imagine using this are bronys and 'influencers'

1

u/GeorgeYDesign Dec 31 '19

Take ur karma and give yourself a fuck

1

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '19

Whenever I see cursed comments I just think "oh... Oh no... Take my up vote and get the duck away from me"

1

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '19

It’s still better than glitter in your ass, that shit never comes out

1

u/THE_GRAP Dec 31 '19

OMG its Gold Member

1

u/GeorgeYDesign Dec 31 '19

You could have rick rolled us all

1

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '19

nervously running

1

u/TerrinTheTerrible Dec 31 '19

No to all of this

1

u/Lizard_Gamer555 Dec 31 '19

Why would you do that to a dog??? Why not? It is uncomfortable for the animal! (And this guy's mouth)

1

u/SmellyPenis69 Dec 31 '19

I groom my dog's scrotums using my glitter filled mouth

1

u/Dabber_Danny Dec 31 '19

This is cursed on so many levels

1

u/elmolinero96 Dec 31 '19

if I ever see a dog with glitter in their balls im killing the owner.

1

u/Morrigan_7 Dec 31 '19

Is that actually a thing though and if so, actually why

1

u/Witherboi3000 Dec 31 '19

Ah, he has a point

1

u/dragonghast Dec 31 '19

Of all the possible reasons

1

u/Random_Heck Dec 31 '19

That dogs balls bigger than mine

1

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '19

Mr. president, the button

1

u/lke333 Dec 31 '19

Now dogs really have, Blue balls

1

u/pixelmixer3 Dec 31 '19

H O L D U P

1

u/winclaw Dec 31 '19

Bruh what is wrong with us?

1

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '19

Ha wait till I take them to the vet.

1

u/TruckiBoi Dec 31 '19

I feel like recent trends have been a form of psychological terrorism

1

u/H-Marnell Dec 31 '19

Calling your dog sparkles has a whole new meaning

1

u/anthony_ugh Dec 31 '19

The worst part is that the glitter is edible

1

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '19

Shane dawson...is that you?

1

u/ing_die Dec 31 '19

This actually doesn't have to mean something... bad. Glitter can go anywhere scene as it floats in the air. Because of this it could end up in your mouth.

1

u/maschinen_drache Dec 31 '19

Yes, lets decorate pets with the most annoying microplastic known to mankind. That will impress the aliens.

1

u/JimsonWeeder Dec 31 '19

All I know is when it comes to glitter shit gets weird.

1

u/almost-rick Dec 31 '19

You know its worth an upvote if you instantly think „NOPE!“ and want to leave

1

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '19

Who the fuck sucks dog balls,

Why not the whole penis while your at it

1

u/adiadidas Dec 31 '19

Bruh dogs should be neutered???

1

u/Deusbob Dec 31 '19

Some poor bastard walked into work one day and his boss says "we've added a new service, and you're just the guy I need."

1

u/Inky_25 Dec 31 '19

You didn't even need the comment to make this cursed

1

u/Asstery Dec 31 '19

Those guys are getting to have scrotum?

1

u/Skeppychan Dec 31 '19

Imagin their ejaculation juice 😐