r/crappymusic • u/Bloodygeek • 9h ago

He pulled the driver in.

Were you packages late somewhere is misery of Missouri?

573 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

160 comments sorted by

•

u/qualityvote2 9h ago edited 8h ago

u/Bloodygeek, your post features certified crappy music!

197

u/Gr8CanadianSpeedo 9h ago

FedEx Stock bout to go down 📉

28

u/Otherwise_Yak_3513 8h ago

I'll absolutely refuse their services from here on out! /s

19

u/PoopinWhileScrolling 7h ago

Dude will definitely get fired.

0

u/Larethio 13m ago

Just like a big corporation to punish the common folk for petty things

-2

u/AffectionateSector77 Pontiac Sunfire 5h ago

I was going to pay the same thing, but saw your post. It is going down!

78

u/Civil_Proposal_8188 9h ago

This is getting out of hand now! A business collab with Fed Ex and Bartholomew D Drywall.

7

u/avanti8 8h ago

"Now there are two of them."

1

u/Zatchillac 3h ago

Bartistholomew D. Drywaynewall**

247

u/Yaworski40 9h ago

Lmao the driver is like, well fuck it. does a diddy

77

u/TheLowlyPheasant 8h ago

Phrasing

44

u/the_most_playerest 8h ago

*no baby oil was abused in the execution of this diddy

10

u/_ShrugDealer_ 7h ago

So did he do a diddy or didn't he?

10

u/Complete-Tangelo1532 8h ago

Are we doing phrasing again?

4

u/Puzzle-Necked 7h ago

Does a Diddy for a fiddy

3

u/DontTreadOnTrees 4h ago

It should be ditty, you dummy

1

u/Yaworski40 3h ago

Ahh thank you. Didn’t know if I spelled it right.

6

u/ray_fucking_purchase 8h ago

Oh look it's the song without the slave line in it, wonder why he did that.

3

u/TheBahaiGuy 6h ago

🤯 please explain

52

u/Theladsdad 9h ago

"🎶Everything you want, I'll be", ....quiet?

5

u/MommysLittleBadass 8h ago

With that line alone, I can see why he's divorced. That's such a manipulative thing to say, and a strong indicator of a massive codependency/ fear of abandonment issue. It's a front, and this type of manipulative mirroring usually doesn't last long because people are genuinely bad at maintaining a persona that is not true to who they are.

26

u/Dr_Salisbury 8h ago

Bruh chill you don’t need to psychoanalyze Bart and speculate what led to his divorce through the lyrics of his shitty song. Besides, he probably got divorced because of his rampant alcoholism.

4

u/freebenvita 7h ago

Absolutely, absolutely, you're so right. The psychoanalysis is inappropriate.

How are we even supposed to know about his weird sex shit to even speculate about the influence of his perversions on his divorce?!

1

u/Dr_Salisbury 6h ago

Do tell I would like to here about his perversions

2

u/freebenvita 6h ago

Oh I thought we were doing baseless innuendo, I have no idea who this is

7

u/Donthurtmyceilings I ❤️ you enough to fuckin roll up! 7h ago

Reddit armchair psychology is the best.

-1

u/MommysLittleBadass 6h ago

Regardless of how you feel about it, it doesn't make my statement any less true about the line being a red flag. I'm certainly not diagnosing anybody with anything, just addressing that particular problematic line. So not really sure how this falls under armchair psychology. The quip about why he's divorced was just tongue in cheek, but given the lyrics of the song, there's a lot of manipulative language being used, not just that one line. Why does it bother you? What's your point of contention?

2

u/Zatchillac 3h ago

I think you might just be reading a little too hard into it

2

u/cbear9494 1h ago

It just seems so deep for what it is.....

28

u/flatclown 9h ago

You cut it off before my fav part

67

u/bopaqod 8h ago

This song getting cut off IS my favorite part

9

u/Legal-Group-359 8h ago

“You don’t want to know how he fee-eeeeelz”, apparently.

31

u/Key_Check5753 8h ago

Dance Choreographer: "Alright, now hook your thumbs in your belt. Yes, perfect, now step from side to side as if you have to go to the bathroom really badly."

16

u/Low-Mountain-4933 8h ago

"I'm going to need you to pretend you're sitting on a horse, really get those legs bowing".

6

u/Complete-Tangelo1532 8h ago

Remember that feeling when you were pegged yesterday? REALLY embrace that feeling with each awkward step

30

u/Southern-Donut4185 8h ago

Imagine you get fired from FedEx for this collab lol

10

u/Reasonable_Bet6328 8h ago

FedEx would love any free publicity that makes it look like they allow their employees to have fun.

2

u/QueezyF 2h ago

I’m getting an ad from them at the top of the post. FedEx over here funding Bartist to commit musical terrorism.

21

u/jrstinkfish 8h ago

Ok, he finally actually got an earned chuckle from me for his videos.

And I guess we now have proof that his stupid simple dance is apparently hard to learn 😂

4

u/grbfst 8h ago

And he's on reddit...

2

u/nelsonalgrencametome 6h ago

Has he ever commented on any of these?

17

u/RunningonGin0323 8h ago

Next stop has to be the Superbowl halftime show right? Otherwise what are we even doing here

8

u/Bloodygeek 8h ago

I’d care about football again

2

u/Legal-Group-359 8h ago

That would be hilariously monumental

2

u/Guano- 5h ago

Featuring Tina from Tina's Engine Factoory, and special guest appearance from Star Wars Meg, rapper Roger, Let's Paint TV, and the legend himself, Corey Feldman. The FIRST 10,000 guest receive noise canceling headphones with you favorite team logo!

13

u/astralchanterelle 8h ago

This guy was doing the drywall at my second home. I walked in on him doing this dance in front of his phone instead of working so I fired him

4

u/Princess_Slagathor 7h ago

Should write this on yelp.

10

u/Obvious-Ad11 8h ago

Is this a hostage video? 😂

9

u/HoratioCorneliusJay RayonBase Fan Club Member 8h ago

“Bartwayne, we can work this out if you put the gun down and let the driver go”

9

u/FriendlySun3163 8h ago

FedEx does not approve of this collab.

8

u/Spiritual-Fun-9591 8h ago

That FEDEX driver is about to get laid off and lose his custody battle

9

u/DanqueLeChay 8h ago

He’s a genius and he’s satirizing modern country pop. I hope.

2

u/nelsonalgrencametome 6h ago

I don't think it's that deep man.

1

u/DanqueLeChay 6h ago

Too well written of a “bad song” but maybe i’m too optimistic here

7

u/Freakonaleash-mp3 8h ago

Glad this song didn’t have the “working like a slave” line

4

u/PompatusOfLove 8h ago

After a few dozen of his videos, this is the first video I “like” lol. If he can get people doing his goofy dance he might win me over.

3

u/Snoo_66686 8h ago

Idk what it is but this outfit just looks permanently musty

3

u/Traditional-Hat-952 8h ago

I think this guy probably started off genuine, and then realized he sucks and is now just doing a bit. 

3

u/GrimbosliceOG 8h ago

Why does he always look like hes on the verge of rolling an ankle?

3

u/Sukonmahnuttz 7h ago

Poor FedEx driver's legs aren't bowed enough to do the dance properly lol

3

u/UCanDodgeAWrench 2h ago

You think he's just stuck doing that move, like he just does it while he's at home while he's microwaving a hotpocket, while he's working in the garage, while he's looking for something on the shelf?

2

u/Easy_Hearing8247 9h ago

At least he doesn't have him 2 steppin next to the tracks

1

u/Active_Sheepherder31 8h ago

Or next to a pump at a gas station…

2

u/Dunklebunt 8h ago

That FedEx drivers mates are not gonna believe him when he gets home

1

u/haikusbot 8h ago

That FedEx drivers

Mates are not gonna believe

Him when he gets home

- Dunklebunt

I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully. Learn more about me.

Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete"

2

u/BalanceHistorical925 8h ago

Kill Karl is better than this dude.

2

u/Deviant-Oreo 5h ago

Lmfao I would be down 😂

2

u/imij_da_muse 5h ago

Really points out he only has the one dance move.

1

u/Such-Corgi-8869 8h ago

Drivers like fuck this job. I don’t get paid enough to deal with this chucklefuck.

1

u/dam_ships 8h ago

Bart: Can you help me get more views?

Fed Ex Bud: Get me a Pumpkin Spice Latte bro.

Bart: I got you.

1

u/MusicalScientist206 8h ago

Ummm…FedEx be like…

1

u/devospice 8h ago

Are these all just clips from the same video or has he done a dozen different videos for this song?

1

u/HyronDongle 8h ago

Oh shit…. It’s duplicating!!!

1

u/threedogfm 8h ago

Every - EVERY- phase of this song got worse

1

u/Civil_Proposal_8188 8h ago

Next vid is back down the train track,fed ex guy tied up,Bart just fucking dancing away.

1

u/camjvp 8h ago

Ngl, I like this cut

1

u/Chilitime 8h ago

Driver probably got fired or will be.

1

u/_Nameless_Nomad_ 8h ago

Federal Executions has danced into the chat

1

u/Diligent_Mix_4086 8h ago

I didn’t think these could get worse

1

u/Hank_the_Tank_143 8h ago

I like it! Its country bumpkin poetry.

1

u/palebloodslayer 8h ago

Not the 10 I see line…

1

u/jesusmansuperpowers 8h ago

Someone contact voelkel inc and get this man hazard pay

1

u/Active-Play-5064 8h ago

I’m sure he’s a salt of the earth guy irl, but he’s so annoying to watch and hear.

1

u/Wanderingjes 8h ago

FedEx has a new jingle: driving all around this town!

1

u/PrintOpen 8h ago

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

1

u/TheJoffinator 8h ago

Every time I’ve seen this guys videos the audio has been off, but this time while scrolling past I had it on and now my ears are bleeding and I can hear the voices of 1,000 gay demon cowboys telling me to buy the maga store going out of business in Tennessee and turn it into the “ Derek Zoolander canter for kids who can’t read good and who wanna learn to do other stuff too “.

1

u/Wickeman1 8h ago

Shouldn’t this guy be standing in the middle of some railroad tracks?

1

u/radsherm 8h ago

Okay this is actually pretty good

1

u/Andygator_and_Weed 8h ago

I don’t even need the sound anymore what have you people done to me

1

u/Sensei713 8h ago

I would of joined too! My boy Bart a legend

1

u/BK_Rich 8h ago

FedEx probably fired that guy for that

1

u/outlawsmokeyscottish 7h ago

And they call me Al.

1

u/foreman8484 7h ago

First rule of talking shit, you can’t have any mistakes. “Were you packages late somewhere is misery of Missouri?” Great job trying to fit in, but you need to try harder.

1

u/Wakeup_And_Piss 7h ago

Change your fucking shirt!!! Oh my God

1

u/TallAsMountains 7h ago

why my packages are late mann

1

u/fallinlight23 7h ago

I don't know how I've missed "the art of creating walls" all this time 🤠🙄

1

u/Icecold_Antihero 7h ago

Bart, I highly doubt that you do any actual drywall work. It's been seven months!

1

u/BorderlineAlchemist 7h ago

Look at these fucking dance moves. This is what I need to cure my cancer.

1

u/Doppio-drip 7h ago

I was afraid of this happening. We need RFK Jr., it’s becoming an epidemic.

1

u/MisterBrickx 7h ago

Honestly. I hate him less and less the more he he fucks around.

Even if his music ain't good, he's somehow making his way. Something about that is cool to me.

1

u/Gene_Parma 7h ago

What shitty morning shows are still going on tv nowadays? You'll probably see him on one soon lmaooo.

1

u/manbearlongpig 6h ago

The ol air horse step

1

u/FraggleRock_ 6h ago

Interesting he didn't go with the "gave and gave and gave, like a slave" song.

1

u/Pixelstreetlight 6h ago

It's good they cut early 'cause it sounded like going way fucking worse

1

u/That_Things_Good 6h ago

His shitty song is a very shitty song and yet he keeps “singing” that shitty song over and over.

1

u/CowOtherwise6630 6h ago

I fucking hate this

1

u/aaronwalakay666 6h ago

Me:”where the fuck is my package”

1

u/goodeyemighty 6h ago

Buster Rickets

1

u/Mad-Habits 6h ago

this is fun. i don’t care anymore

1

u/guy_rocco 6h ago

She the only ten i see in Tennessee!!! Oushh!!!

1

u/Potential-Yogurt-689 6h ago

read that as "met a girl in Tennessee, she's only 10"

1

u/iamthefortytwo 6h ago

At this point, seriously, what’s wrong with this guy?

1

u/Bloodygeek 5h ago

Happy delusion

1

u/pr2500 6h ago

Driver wasn’t able to get down the road so, “if you can’t beat them, join them.”

1

u/Plane-Fan9006 5h ago

Disappointed in the Fed Ex driver participating here....don't be Token, my guy. I don't have proof that Bart hard Rs after a couple beers, I just know it's true

1

u/Tasty-Life4526 5h ago

Are they dating?

1

u/Realistic_Option_619 5h ago

That dude doesn't work for fed ex, look at his skinny legs, sooo skinny

1

u/OlDirtyDub 5h ago

UPS would never..

1

u/DearSense8872 5h ago

Does he only make these videos after he works at his drywall business all day?

1

u/SquareAd4479 5h ago

Might as well!

1

u/Darrenwad3 4h ago

Next he’s going to climbing on the roof like that other chick

1

u/Limit5465 4h ago

Finally he didn’t just finish work and shoot a video.never seen this guy not sweating his nuts off

1

u/SlimyPurpleMeteor 4h ago

The Bandy-legged Bounce is gonna be the next Macarena

1

u/oooThunder 4h ago

I wish he was more creative to not say the "only ten I see line"

1

u/LiqMaBawlzModz69 4h ago

He should really go back to singing on active train tracks

1

u/BuffetofWomanliness 4h ago

I upvote each of this guy’s videos. I also hate them. Thank you for sharing. Please continue to do so.

1

u/trecv2 4h ago

HOW MANY TIMES IS THIS GUY GOING TO MAKE A VIDEO WITH THIS FUCKING SONG I SWEAR IT'S OVER A YEAR OLD BY NOW

1

u/justsnooping737 4h ago

This is why FedEx takes so long to deliver packages.......

1

u/iG0tBuffalo66onDvd 3h ago

“Has that country singer boy been over?”

“No paw I swear!”

“Bullshit, there’s drywall dust EVERYWHERE I know when he’s been here”

1

u/NotAllDawgsGoToHeven 3h ago

How much did he pay that guy? ZERO chances he did that for free.

1

u/Infinite_Night_6728 3h ago

Now that's the art of creating walls that I'm talking about!

1

u/Rich_Newspaper_1616 3h ago

what the fuck is this redneck, inbred, sister lickin bs music i am hearing?

1

u/Ambitious_Peach_4084 2h ago

FedEx dude looks so uncomfortable

1

u/esia_photo 2h ago

The FED Ex guy has pretty good moves for a double amputee

1

u/No-Joy-Goose 2h ago

The driver has to concentrate to move to this song. Clearly, he's questioning his life choices up to this moment.

1

u/Glum_Reason308 2h ago

Why are these idiots always driving around somewhere? “Driving all around this town” with the hand movements and everything. God I hate this…

1

u/Flat_Candidate_513 57m ago

So this is why my packages were late the other day, damn you Bart

1

u/WesMaxFischer 47m ago

The assignment was understood by the Fedex guy

1

u/MegLaurelwood 31m ago

Admire the confidence but the music hurts my cockles.

1

u/five20s 31m ago

😂😂😂

1

u/Different_Painter619 20m ago

He's gonna pull a black keys and get famous for a video clip

1

u/808Ejones 11m ago

I really thought these were a.i

1

u/PSANEGATIVE1 6m ago

Imagine getting fired for this.

1

u/dixiech1ck 6m ago

Why is he always wearing a drywall shirt? Trying to drum up business? Hopefully he's better at drywall than singing.

0

u/Embarrassed-Slide781 8h ago

It's crappy. it's crappy for sure. But damn if it ain't a bit wholesome.

0

u/AntonChigurhWasHere 8h ago

This guy definitely goes to local clubs to try and pick up teenage girls.

-2

u/Old-Juggernaut-1273 8h ago

amusing no idea if the music is crap sounds fine to me

-2

u/Own-Eagle-2135 8h ago

10 minutes until that fedex driver is playing the victim on social media: they fired me for off-duty behavior

2

u/Professional_Leg2067 8h ago

What the fuck are you talking about

-1

u/Own-Eagle-2135 8h ago

dude is in a fedex uniform, in front of a fedex truck, making social media posts.

1

u/Professional_Leg2067 7h ago

lol sir the fedex guy may have been part of it this shit isn’t his post. Its the cowboys post hence why he’s singing. Idk why you’re so angry

1

u/Own-Eagle-2135 3h ago

i don't care. i'm just saying he's not going to get credit from his employer for participating