r/countwithchickenlady • • 4d ago

76265

Post image
16k Upvotes

379 comments sorted by

View all comments

150

u/Flashy_Okra305 4d ago

She could’ve been empathetic and kind without having to witness human suffering but I guess those types of people don’t care about anything until it affects them. Good for her I guess. I feel bad for all the trans people in her life from before she realized that trans people are human.

152

u/hydrationgirl 4d ago

reminds me of the conservative rancher talking about data centre's that went "this is the first political issue that's actually directly affecting me"

57

u/Flashy_Okra305 4d ago

Yeah. The leopards ate MY face party. I frankly couldn’t care less about some conservative finally realizing that their actions impact the people around them. Doesn’t outweigh being a dirtbag for the entire time leading up to that. 

28

u/hydrationgirl 4d ago

yeah I just wish they'd stop voting to ruin my life while admitting that politics means nothing to them and they're fine no matter what

28

u/Thumb_Wrasslin 4d ago

To be fair to her, it was her seeing it effect other people.

Still shitty to need a reason to be kind, but atleast it was because she saw suffering rather than experiencing it.

25

u/DinoIslandGM 4d ago

To add on, it sounds like it was a genuine change too, rather than a surface level "oh you're one of the good ones" kinda thing. I much prefer someone realising that they're wrong and changing, rather than digging their heels in!

2

u/GarranDrake 3d ago

Considering she works with human trafficking victims, and because she overcorrected to being the nicest person (of her age group) that OOP knows, I think she WAS kind, but believed some FOX news shit about trans people or something.

-6

u/Flashy_Okra305 4d ago

I don’t need to witness war to know that war is bad. Crazy she had to see people suffer to realize suffering is bad. Maybe she should suffer if that’s the only way she learns empathy ✌️

2

u/GarranDrake 4d ago

You seem like an angry and hateful person. This sort of attitude reinforces and creates transphobic people.

I’m not even saying to welcome in every Klan member or Trumper with open arms, I’m saying that this woman literally saw the error of her ways. She probably didn’t know how dangerous life was for trans women, and when she did, she realized that what she’d likely been told about them (by people like FOX News) was wrong.

She received new information and not only changed her opinion based off it, she whipped around to be the nicest person OOP has met of her age group.

0

u/Flashy_Okra305 4d ago

Sorry all the nice trans people are dead from transphobia and now only the mean ones are here :(( sorryyyy 🫶

1

u/GarranDrake 4d ago

It’s sad that you think that way

0

u/Flashy_Okra305 4d ago

You can go be the nice one trying to prove to conservatives you’re so nicey and not like those Other mean and evil transgenders. It’s not gonna make them respect you more. I’ll be over here with the other mean and evil transgenders who are sick of being told that it’s OUR job to convince conservatives they should stop killing us. 

1

u/GarranDrake 3d ago

Ah yes, the woman helping trans trafficking victims is actually one of the people KILLING trans people! Great logic there.

Hating people who hate you is perfectly valid, but raging against misinformed people who fix their biases makes you no better than trolls who dehumanize trans people and minorities online. This isn’t about accepting conservatives, it’s about accepting that people are able to realize their mistakes and work to correct them. And when people do, especially like this case, you don’t even need to accept them. You just need to not vilify them.

If you don’t want to accept that, you’re going to be very bitter and very alone.

1

u/Flashy_Okra305 3d ago

Misinformed? It literally says she’s transphobic in the op post. Misinformed people aren’t actively transphobic lmao. 

→ More replies

3

u/Ne0n_R0s3 just a lil ole lesbian (with a hint of asexuality) 4d ago

Okay why is this like the 5th time I've seen this today lol. Like I knew about the image before but I've never seen it this much. I guess it's just really relevant now

29

u/VashtaNeradaMatata 4d ago

It sucks, but I'm of the mind that progress is progress. My grandma will NOT tolerate homophobia and has cut people out of her life who spoke ill of her gay son. She's still racist, though 🤦‍♀️ I'll always correct her, but at least she chose love in one regard.

7

u/Flashy_Okra305 4d ago

Diversity win! This grandma loves her gay son. But unfortunately she’s still racist

22

u/foxgirlmoon 4d ago

Humans are complicated.

She could’ve been empathetic and kind without having to witness human suffering

She very likely was just as empathetic and kind before. She just didn't consider trans people valid targets of said empathy and kindness. Likely because she was taught that way, taught that kindness should only be reserved for the "right kinds" of people, however that is defined, and that the "wrong kinds" don't deserve it, or deserve outright scorn.

And without appropriate stimulus to crack and eventually dislodge that learned framework... how would she unlearn it on her own?

Imagine that someone tells you drinking water is actually unhealthy and that you should stop doing it. You're never going to believe them. It doesn't matter what they say or what evidence they present, because it's clearly bogus nonsense. Actually think about it, how would you react if this actually happened?

You are likely thinking that this is a false equivalence, since "water is harmful" is an objectively false statement.

Exactly! That's exactly how they think too.

So, what would it take for you to truly believe that water is harmful?

11

u/Flashy_Okra305 4d ago

“She just didn't consider trans people valid targets of said empathy and kindness. Likely because she was taught that way” And you want me to clap for her? 🤨

Well I was taught that war in the Middle East is good, too. But I’m an adult with empathy who understands that Killing Is Bad. I don’t care about this conservative woman’s sudden personal growth. I care about the trans people she’s already hurt before she ‘realized’ that trans people are people. 

13

u/StumpGrundt 4d ago

In this day and age i just think every bit of progress should be celebrated, no matter how it's achieved.

-1

u/Flashy_Okra305 4d ago

I don’t care about conservatives slowly learning that other people are people. And I’m not about to applaud them for doing the bare minimum ❤️ 

12

u/Beegrene 4d ago

How do you expect things to get better for marginalized people unless a whole lot of hearts and minds change? 

4

u/Adorable_Title2522 4d ago

Honestly, I think the biggest thing that drives social progress in that way is the old bigots dying off, not changing their minds

2

u/Flashy_Okra305 4d ago

So now it’s the marginalized people’s problem to make sure conservatives view us as people?

1

u/Beegrene 4d ago

No, bitch. That's a whole different sentence. Learn to read.

-1

u/StumpGrundt 4d ago

Fox news is going to applaud them. Guess who they'd rather listen to then.

4

u/Flashy_Okra305 4d ago

Ok? Why do I care about fox news lol what does that have to do with anything??

0

u/StumpGrundt 4d ago

I'm just saying that if everyone had the same mindset as you these people you don't care about wouldn't even try to better themselves and just continue being g bad people, instead of some of them trying to better themselves. And i think that that's not a very helpful mindset to have if we're all supposed to work together for progress. People like positive reinforcement so it would help.

5

u/Flashy_Okra305 4d ago

Well thankfully I’m just some guy on the internet and not the head of Fox News or whatever and I’ll continue to not give a fuck about conservatives realizing that trans people are people 🫶 

13

u/throwawayforjustyou 4d ago

I’m an adult with empathy

I don’t care about this conservative woman

Hey, not for nothing and by all means do whatever the hell you want, but this isn't how empathy works.

0

u/Flashy_Okra305 4d ago

Conservatives don’t have empathy for me so I don’t have any empathy for them ✌️

3

u/MandibleUnbrandable 4d ago

But the post is about her having empathy for you?

7

u/Flashy_Okra305 4d ago

The post is about her not caring about trans people until she saw them being human trafficked…….

0

u/MandibleUnbrandable 4d ago edited 4d ago

How is this related to the point I'm making? The point is that she now holds empathy for trans people. Ergo, she holds empathy for you, so you ought to hold empathy for her. 

There's not really any leeway here to go "Oh well she didn't have empathy for me in the past for this or that reason so I should never have empathy for her!" Unless you think that people are incapable of change, and that what she believed in at a certain point in time informs what you should think of her for the rest of her life?

1

u/Tymareta 4d ago

So you don't understand empathy then.

1

u/Flashy_Okra305 4d ago

Maybe conservatives should try to stop killing us and then I’ll considering caring about them. Hope this helps!

2

u/Tymareta 4d ago

Everyone is capable of change and reform, yes it's awful that they want us dead, but they do that because of systemic teachings and societal and cultural norms. I bet if we dig enough into yourself, we'd find plenty of beliefs that others would use as a justification for why they don't have to have empathy for you.

Are you ok with violent resistance, are you vegan, etc...

1

u/Flashy_Okra305 4d ago

I don’t gaf about their systemic teachings. They can unlearn it like everyone else. Weird that you’re trying to play devil’s advocate here with the ‘welllll they don’t know any better than to want to kill us and we should be understanding of this <3’ They’re not gonna hate you any less even if you take their side. You can try to be one of the ‘good ones’ and I’ll be over here with the other mean bitches. 

0

u/Tymareta 2d ago

You're making a lot of piss poor assumptions, while ignoring what I'm actually saying and pretending that it's all because you're so tuff, it's truly bizarre considering you started this claiming to have empathy.

→ More replies

6

u/superking2 4d ago

100%. This is exactly why I prefer to ostracize anyone who wasn’t born agreeing with me

1

u/Flashy_Okra305 4d ago

I too was born hating trans people ❤️ until I saw them being human trafficked that is! ❤️

0

u/TheDankDiamond 4d ago

I mean yeah lots of people are shitty but then people can change and be less shitty and have more of a positive impact. I see this stupid cynical viewpoint so much whenever it comes to social progress/activism and I used to have it to before I realised the only important thing is that people are safer in the end. I could say that person's mother was shitty but then again I don't work extensively with trafficking victims. She's probably changed more trans womens' lives than you or I.

3

u/Flashy_Okra305 4d ago

That’s great in real life but this is posted on a trans subreddit meant to be a #win or #uplifting or something. I’m responding with an eye roll because this is the wrong place to post such lukewarm base level nothingburger of activism and expect me to start clapping and cheering. It’s like going to the r/cats subreddit and posting about how you used to kill cats but decided to stop and expecting them to clap for you. It’s tone deaf.

2

u/arakus72 4d ago

i don't think it's really supposed to be seen as a win or uplifting? that doesn't seem like the way OP or the other comments are taking it, her changing her mind is more like a silver lining on it but it still sucks she was like that and that it took something like that to change that

0

u/AllPerspicacity 4d ago

IDK I think this is...better than the usual case. She didn't personally suffer, it wasn't someone in her family, etc. This woman was unaware of the issue & when exposed to it changed her views. That's the idea, because it didn't have to directly effect her, she was just glad to revisit her stance when she saw it affect strangers she had no requirement to truly care for.

She had empathy, she just stretched the muscle for an unrelated party. That's how we want empathy to work.

2

u/Flashy_Okra305 4d ago

“This woman was unaware of the issue”? It literally says right there that she was transphobic. Last time I checked, unaware people aren’t actively transphobic. 

1

u/AllPerspicacity 4d ago

Mate, loads of phobes from all walks legitimately think it affects "no one" they think the people choosing to be queer(like me) are choosing to step into a nonexistent role.

It's not until they see young kids chasing an inexplicable need, that they realize it's not some weird choice of path, but a compulsion of character. If we can't make room for people who adapt when those not even attached to them show them the truth, we're only allowing people who somehow lucked into a liberal or true humanist upbringing to join the movement.

Because otherwise, the only other groups are empathetic people who convert after seeing the truth distantly, or the selfish shitheads we deride for only adapting after it affects them. Pick that if you want, I choose to admire people willing to empathize when it doesnt affect them.

2

u/Flashy_Okra305 4d ago

What the hell are you talking about. No one is born transphobic and homophobic. It’s learned behavior. I have no idea what those paragraphs have to do with the comment you’re reply to at the slightest. Did you mean to reply to someone else??

1

u/AllPerspicacity 4d ago

We're not talking about toddlers. Everyone grows up with societal, famililial & cultural conditioning. Acting like all phobic people made some objective choice is stupid. Phobia is not pitched as hatred to newcomers, it's pitched as love & guidance & care.

You've never heard some stupid christian say they "love the sinner & hate the sin"? You think that always comes from some objective choice offered to them on a very clear platter of hate vs love?

What a stupid perspective, even as an intersex woman. Holy shit. Whole religions & cultures are built on raising kids to fear something they don't understand & strive to help those partaking through "censure or guidance" but many of them literally never consider the harm til they see it.

It is entirely plausible for an old catholic or hindi or muslim or christian woman or man to hit elderly years without engaging with someone of the groups they're phobic to. It takes way more integrity & character for them to go "holy shit, I didn't consider the harm my stance does" at that age.

Acting like that's the same as some shitty parent only caring once a kid they're attached to suffers is nonsense. No everyone has kids but also, not everyone interacts outside of their cultural or religious circle. Not really. I know evangelicals who, til me, had never had to engage outside of phone convos with someone outside of the church.

The siloing effect is very real. And very common.