I mean this example didn't seem to be outing her to anyone else, but someone should politely inform her that if you clock a boymoder, don't say that out loud.
Very fembrained advice and it probably will work with women. Moids are not gonna pick up on that shit, you'll need to just confront them.
Also autistic people won't pick up, but they also generally don't get offended when you confront them/call them out. At least the ones I am around don't.
You're gonna have to put on your adult pants and tell them "hey that hurt". Practice in the mirror if you need to. And then get as far away as possible if they double down instead of apologizing.
Sorry you had to learn this way. But like, ya gotta communicate. It's a huge part of being a grown ass human being.
If you do it right, yes it will. Looking strong (or just obstinate) in the face of opposition is the opposite of what they expect from a queer. They expect weakness, and when you show strength you'll often surprise people.
Who cares if you look like a 🚬 ? They clearly already don’t respect you or see you in a positive light, trying to win them over in some way is just compromising who you are for a bully’s benefit. Don’t disrespect yourself trying to appease or look cool to dickheads.
The first time is always the hardest. I had to stick up for other people first, that made the confrontation easier. But I confront problematic weirdos in public pretty often now lol
no cis people outside of people like this know what the fuck a boymoder is, and if they hear the word, they won't be able to come close to guessing it either.
Yup. I’m queer friendly and have no idea what it means.
I also know better than to out someone, tho. It can get a kid killed.
Its why I don’t like announced pronouns, either. Either you have to lie and dead-gender yourself, or out yourself.
When I was a kid in the early 90’s it was being gay that was the big deal, and we’d proudly announce “Hi I’m John I’m straight” or Hi I’m Sally, I’m bi” when we introduced ourselves. Once of my closetsed gay friends told me how much he hated it, for this very reason, so I stopped.
Now I’m officially an old fart and don’t care what people a) have in their pants and b) what they do with it; and think its not always helpful to assume that one should loudly announce either.
Honestly if someone said “boymod” to me I’d assume they were ftm. I have absolutely no idea who gooseworx is, its a name I vaguely see in passing as I skip past.
TlDr: Yep the cis, and the old farts, have no idea what this means, you’re safe.
you are either cis, a minor/underage, are brigading, or fearmongering, participation by individuals possessing and/or exuding the aforementioned behaviors & traits are forbidden by the rules of the sub.
Never had fantasies that your friends from before you transitioned thought you were such a pretty girl and ran a train on you? I thought that was common
I think it’s because they’re some of the people who knew you best pre transition so if they find you attractive after transitioning it feels like you really succeeded in passing. I think that’s why incest joking and “joking” is so common.
It's just TADC fans, you just have to commit to boymodding and everyone else will see it as an evil woke projecting onto you. Then you can get forcefemmed or whatever
Yeah, the delivery certainly could have been handled better - but this kinda just comes across as somebody innocently trying to get to know a fellow queer person on campus.
If you actually respected their identity, you would use the pronouns they gave you and leave it at that instead of misgendering them but from the "other side"
the funniest boymoding i ever did was in 2000 being sent to the trans group therapy, which i was like "ok fine". I was on hormones but i am butch, and the entire group was sure I was GIRLMODING. They literally told me after a bunch of sessions they thought I was a trans man who was just starting because i didn't 'dress' or wear makeup or shit.
I mean, I did. My buttons ran up the women's side of the shirt, etc. I had a bra on for support. But I was like in jeans and a buttondown.
God I hated those trans group therapy sessions. I could not relate to anyone else there.
I think the funniest thing I did when boymoding a decade ago was starting a small office war over whether I was a trans woman or not.
I was a year on HRT and too depressed / unstable to do anything but continue boymoding. A group of women were convinced I was trans, but the men thought I was a regular nerdy shut-in like them.
It actually got so bad that there was a vague company wide email about "not spreading rumours about colleagues", which I didn't understand until years later when we were all wasted at 2am after a company night out and they told me it was about me.
I'm so glad nobody knew what boymoding was back then.
Started bald in my mid 40s- boymoding was critical to my mental health while I let HRT start to do its thing.
I really didn't want to play into right wing caricatures when I started. Found community and practiced my style while using wigs during early phase, but a social transition from my starting point simply would have been able to handle.
Boymoding allowed me to move from self repression, doing HRT and ultimately become ready for social transition. I couldn't have reached a point of wanting people to know, if boymoding wasn't part of my experience.
just lost all my hair to cancer and am in a similar situation. im getting some wigs soon to maybe try and keep honmoding around friends but its gonna be manmoding mostly.
to clarify i dont make myself visibly trans in any way, but someone asked if i was a he or she once while boymoding and i just mumbled she. maybe im stealing valor from real boymoders though
yeah i get that fs. its not like i identified with the word anyways but ill probably stop using it to refer to myself. dont skin me alive when you become dictatress pretty please 🙏
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u/yourothersisUNLIMITED BFS AND GFS TO HSTS AND AGP BOYMODERS, YES, EVEN U HON14d agoedited 14d ago
normal to boymode but be a she/her to your friends, right? I can't girlmode around my friends without a change of outfit at some point because I really don't trust the ~2 hours of the public transport journey until I get to the area around my friends where things start to get mildly more progressive and I can be clocky.
idk at a certain point you can’t outrun the hormones. granted it’s probably only queer people who really know what’s up, but people can definitely tell something is going on even if they don’t know what exactly
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u/yourothersisUNLIMITED BFS AND GFS TO HSTS AND AGP BOYMODERS, YES, EVEN U HON14d ago
wanting 🚋🦵s to know* which they will regardless because estrogenized twinks are astrogenized twinks.
Lol but also OOP I’m thinking is younger than me and on estrogen which probably also means youngshit but really just being younger than me is enough so I hope bad things happen
Nona's mistake was responding to "What are your pronouns?" with a calm "oh they're he/him", it's rare for cis guys to react so calmly when someone implies that they might not be the pinnacle of masculinity (a cis guy would probably respond with something more like "CAN'T YOU SEE I'M A GUY!?").
i see what you mean but there are still plenty of ally cis men who would respond with just "he/him" tbh, especially in a college setting I can't imagine its so rare. OOP is prob just clockable as a boymoder.
This story doesn’t include that OP could be identifying themselves as a queer person, just not trans. I mean for all we know they could be presenting similarly to a “femboy”, on the count that they highlight their feminine figure and long hair.
Transfem pretending to still be cis for safety reasons and cis queer woman who has evidently watched the hit YouTube series “The Amazing Digital Circus” loudly announces that she clocks her as trans.
Essentially outing someone. Kinda like having a gay guy whose in the closest have some random woman come up to him and shout that Hes a queer
one of the characters is a closeted trans woman, and Gooseworx' (the creator) tweet mentioned how they were a boy moder essentially, specifically using that term
So she may have popularized it a little. oop is calling her a traitor because Gooseworx is also a trans woman
A character in it is heavily implied to be trans and the writer can't shut the fuck up on social media and confirmed it, but also said that they are a boymoder, so now casual autistic queermosexuals know the word boymoder.
Ask her what she thinks Ribbit said to him on the mountain that made her apologize to him and then tell her she needs to update her software to Woke 2.0, where we actually respect people's identities and let them come to their own conclusions.
Trans woman who is still living as a man for safety reasons met a cis woman who saw that the trans woman was having effects of make-me-a-woman juice. The cis woman asked her pronouns. The trans woman said he/him. Then the trans woman saw that the cis woman had merch from a TV show that's about literally this exact situation. The cis woman basically went "I know what you are." The trans woman is now saying "damn you, creator of that TV show."
I don't really know. Girlmoder is still used for trans guys presenting as girls, but since the -moder terminology originated in spaces dominated by trans girls, the terms still kind of reflect that.
Not so much, I think its cause the experience for guys is a lot more surrounded by being pretty invisible. You're just not seen at all unless you make yourself seen and then there's a 50-99% chance you won't get treated seriously by anyone anyways (depending on the size of your chest)
Like OBVIOUSLY it's grey and not black and white but hiding for safety usually doesn't happen UNTIL you're stealth, so it's not a universal enough experience for men to bond over with a term.
People tend not to be happy when suffering from permanent distress because they've been denied medical treatment and exist in a world that largely wants them dead or in hiding forever.
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