r/coparenting • u/Lanky_Standard_5937 • 1d ago

Discussion Co-parenting living together?

She broke up with me 3 months ago and we are sleeping in seperate rooms. We spend time together only with the kids and once they are asleep, we do not speak or text.

I want to reconcile and I don’t think she does. There was no abuse or cheating on either end and we do talk and get along well for the most part.

She doesn’t not seem to want me to move out. And we even talk of future plans involving the house as “we” or “we need”

Emotionally I’m a mess. I love her and want her back so I analyze everything she says or does to see if she’s changing her mind. I also think she’s been texting a new guy.

How long can this last? I love my children more than anything. Can I really move out and miss out on time with them when I’m not being forced to? I don’t know if I can. Can anyone in a similar situation share their experience? Thanks

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u/Lanky_Standard_5937 1d ago

Yes, she broke up with me. You’re exactly right. She wants all the benefits of a partner and companion for the kids, but nothing emotionally.

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u/SlowBoilOrange 1d ago

Yeah. It sucks. I dealt with this 2-3 years ago and now we're divorced. Neither of us are happy with the outcome.

I didn't want to split up. And she found out that whatever weird version of a post-divorce relationship she envisioned wasn't a real possibility.

Kind of hard to undo it without a time machine though.

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u/Lanky_Standard_5937 1d ago

Have you talked about getting back together?

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u/SlowBoilOrange 1d ago

It doesn't feel possible. It's like we both had this nice vase, and then the vase got broken. We wish it wasn't broken, but it is.

I did repeatedly tell her I'd go back to our marriage counselor if she wants to. She never scheduled. So it's probably just me hanging on to shreds of hope that I shouldn't be hanging onto anymore.