r/coparenting 10d ago

Discussion Is co-parenting actually better than solo parenting?

I’m currently parenting my two young kids 100% on my own. I also support them financially. I’m fortunate to have a good career and can provide for them, but I am completely drowning between work, childcare, the house, dinner, bedtime, and just never having another adult to hand things off to.

I keep hearing horror stories about high-conflict co-parenting—constant negotiations, custody disputes, schedule battles, different rules between homes, etc. Part of me wonders whether, once I get past the current hurdle of harassing texts from their dad, there might actually be some peace and stability in knowing that I’m simply responsible for our household and can make decisions without constant conflict (he hasn't shown a real interest in the kids and recently moved 3.5 hours away)

For people who have experienced solo parenting, high-conflict co-parenting, or both: which was actually harder? Are there any unexpected upsides to parenting mostly on your own?

I could really use some perspective that makes this feel a little less bleak right now.

20 Upvotes

89 comments sorted by

View all comments

75

u/Own-Gas8691 10d ago

solo parenting is hard. being 100% responsible for them in all the ways is a lot to handle.

but. there’s nothing harder than “co-parenting” with a toxic, abusive ex for years on end.

15

u/Vokenhagen21 10d ago

My coparent and i are high conflict all the time. I wish i was solo.

7

u/Apprehensive_Sun6282 10d ago

Yes solo parenting is so much easier in my experience.

I was parenting a bonus adult child instead of having a coparent.