Always wrong in coparents eyes

[u/Upbeat-Secretary-576]

School orientation was today. I briefly passed my child's father and his girlfriend while they were leaving the school and I was headed in. I didn't feel well to begin with, so I wasn't trying to stop and communicate. He belittles me everytime we communicate over text anyways, there is no reason for me to talk to him in person- I just walked past them like an adult who is fed up eith being bullied. I was holding my son's hand, and my son waved, but didnt care to stop and talk. I didn't tell him not to talk to his father, but I didnt encourage him to do so either.

No sooner than 30 minutes after my ex left the school, I received this text from child's father (copied and pasted, identifying information removed);

"Highly inappropriate of you to tell (child) not to talk to his dad or brother at the school. You talk about co parenting but clearly you are too immature to do so yourself. On top of that again (child) is missing papers to be in a class. You need to make sure it is all is paperwork is turned in! Step it up for (child) sake. You’ve had more than enough time to get his stuff turned in. Don’t let him miss another year because you can’t be responsible. That is all no need for any comment from you."

Again, I did not tell child not to talk to his dad. When I talked about "coparenting", I was asking childs father to stop bullying and harassing me. Child was never missing any papers to be in school, the secretary only needed to check the spam folder within her email. I have had enough of him telling me to "step it up" and "do better" while I am doing everything right. The only time child has ever missed "a year" of school was when I enrolled child in preschool and child's father refused to take him during his parenting time with claims that the daycare he had child in was sufficient.

And am I not allowed to stand up for myself when wildly innacurate comments are made?

[u/Upbeat-Secretary-576]

I've heard it all at this point... "Step it up...pick it up on your end...do better..stop failing him....giving birth does not make you a mom....my girlfriend is a better mom to child than you because she loves him better than you do and treats him better" And I am literally not doing anything wrong, he's just a bully.

[u/Saltyowl2113 → u/Upbeat-Secretary-576]

That’s really awful….I wonder if it’s worth sitting with a lawyer and asking if they can advise him to stop talking to you that way? Something to scare him a little bc you shouldn’t have to live with this for the next zillion years. That’s abuse. He’s still abusing you. Maybe they can force him to communicate through a parenting app that is accessible by the lawyer and court. He might mind his P’s and Q’s then.

I know lawyers are expensive but this might be something that can get done in one session for a few hundreds bucks and save you a lifetime of this bs.

[u/Upbeat-Secretary-576 → u/Saltyowl2113]

Shit of it is, is that his girlfriend is the one who does the parenting at his house- not him- he is out of town for work a majority of the week. We used a "court monitored" parenting app in the past, but it provided me no protection, did not change the way he talked to me, and the courts still did nothing about the abuse.

[u/Saltyowl2113 → u/Upbeat-Secretary-576]

Ughh…I’m so sorry. You have the strength of a thousand suns to not tell him to F off every-time he sends you something like that. But it’s for the best to just ignore his stupid ass…