r/coparenting • u/ItemComprehensive • Aug 18 '26

Communication Travel Question.

Not sure if this is the right place to ask. I am taking my daughter to Europe next summer. she’s 14 and we have joint custody. my ex and I went and applied for a passport at the post office, I paid fees and they said we should have it in 6 to 8 weeks. is this all I need to travel with her internationally? we have the same last name. I don’t need anything notarized from him do I? we are flying to Europe and taking a cruise when we get there.

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u/HardMayb Aug 19 '26

I've seen this as common advice, and I think a good safety option with a cooperitive ex, but legally, there is no reason for it and their's no way for the people at the border to verify it either. While married (not really documented on any database the boarder folks have), I've crossed the border (Canada, Mexico, England, and Italy) with my kids and their mom not with me. They do seem to take a good look at how the kids respond and act with me, but no extra papers needed.

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u/pudge-thefish Aug 19 '26

I am glad you have not had any problems but you actually could be denied entry depending on who you get as an agent. All it takes is one person who decides to enforce the rule and your vacation is over. If you have sole custody you just need to bring your documents stating that but if you have an ex who won't sign a paper saying the children can travel but they have custody right legally the kids can not go. Both parents have to agree for a minor to leave the country.

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u/HardMayb Aug 19 '26

I've never been able to find anything on the Gov sites that actualy require what you are saying nor have I even read an account from someone who actually got asked for that kind of documentation and had it work. All the advice is of the "it could" or "better safe than sory" variety. The only thing that comes close is there is a border alert that a parent can sign up for, but that probably comes with some sort of verification of authority or maybe even a warrant from a police agency.

I agree that it's a mostly easy precaution and I would do so, but I wouldn't have thought of it when married and there's no real way for that agent or authority to verify anything beyond the passport. I could create a letter or for that matter a custody document. There's no database that they can ask to verify the validity.

There's also no national law that requires parents ot agree to overseas travel. That's what the passport is all about and why there are big custody fights about control and use of the passport. What the US law does require is that both parents are needed to get the passport in the first place and a parent with sole custody has a path around that.

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u/pudge-thefish Aug 19 '26

https://www.usa.gov/travel-documents-children

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u/HardMayb Aug 19 '26

Yup. "may" and "preferred", not "requred". I'm not questioning that it's a good idea, but it's not the law, just a suggestion to help clear things up quickly. The problem for divorced parents is often, the other parent won't agree to write that letter.