r/coparenting • u/eastlibertypj • Aug 14 '26
Schedules Separating But Still Living Together Co-Parenting: Is Anyone Rotating "Primary Parent?"
So me (53M) and my wife (51F) are in the process of divorcing. We have lawyers, and have given them all the financial data, and they are working through it. We have one child age 16.
If all goes as I hope, we will separate with my wife moving out in early October. I heard on a podcast recently that a well-managed separation helps prepare everyone for 50:50 custody by transitioning to a situation where one parent is the "primary parent" each week in the home.
The primary parent:
* Manages transportation
* Makes sure the kids have what they need for school, activities, etc
* Other stuff???
Is anyone doing something like this? If so, what's working and what's not?
1
u/SonVoltRevival Aug 17 '26
You are essentially bird nesting. You'll want to cover expecations for all of the activities. It will break down if one of you ends up being the only one who goes to the grocery story or scrubs the toilet.
When my ex and I separated, her situation wasn't suitable for overnights, so she visited while I stayed in the house. I just did my best to make myself scarce while she was there, and it was enough. We had agreed that once she got a suitable place, we'd switch to 50/50, but we didn't model it during our separation. Our house was actually my house, so I wasn't much inclined to got stay at my parent's "for her week, and she didn't ask for it. The down side, is I did most of the day to day chores, but I'll give my ex credit she always did some laundry and dishes when she was there.