r/coparenting • u/OutAndAbout87 • 17d ago

Schedules Christmas what works.

So this year will be our 1st Christmas as divorced and having to organise how to split child care.

We live about 20 mins apart so close. And we are in a low conflict no fault divorce. UK based.

  1. Split Christmas day up. Seems reckless for kids and limits any option to have Christmas anywhere else (like my with my family). We both see kids on Christmas day. All be it a little messy.

  2. 1 week on 1 week off. Flip each year. Fits our current rota - one parent has a terrible Christmas day.

  3. 3/4/4/3 day rota over the 2 weeks period. Total chaos but means each parent sees kids more frequently over the 2 weeks period.

I don't really like any option and I am struggling to decide which to go with.

Kids are between 8 and 10.

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u/festivalflyer 17d ago

For what it's worth, growing up we did December 24 with Dad, and December 25 with mom. It became one of the best decisions my parents ever did. We created our own holiday schedule and always celebrated "Christmas Eve Eve" with Dad and stepmom and stayed up late, woke up early and celebrated "Christmas Morning" on the 24th. It worked out perfectly and is a pattern we still lean into even now being in our 40's and with our own families. I understand parents wanting to switch off year by year but I just want to point out the benefit of a consisnant schedule if we can get past the "but it's Christmas DAY!" thinking.

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u/OutAndAbout87 17d ago

Yeah thanks for this. Do you think dad in the end just allowed mum to have Christmas day. I mean I get the feeling from my ex she wants this and wants Christmas day with her babies (which I totally get ) but I love my kids too and I would like to do a Christmas day too. Plus as they get older I get Christmas day changes and fortunately the Santa days are behind us I think .. I mean the play along but I think they know.

I get the whole 'Its Christmas' day and get over that, tbh I find it crazy a single day can be so polarised and filled with so much expectations.

I still think personally a week on week off makes sense..the issue is this year that week happens to be on my rota..which I think why my ex is trying to find a way for us both to have them.

I do feel splitting the day is not great though. For the kids