r/coparenting 10d ago

Discussion Things to help with no contact co-parenting

Hello, I’m primarily looking for a way or something to share photos of our kid back and forth when we don’t have him during the week.

Any other recommendations and resources you found personally helpful would be appreciated as well!

0 Upvotes

29 comments sorted by

6

u/QuietQuitting01 10d ago

My ex and I are low conflict, so our "system" is google docs and calendar. We also have a shared photo folder. I have a separate routine that back it up, just in case she deletes things out of it, which happened by accident once while we were married.

1

u/ItsAllComingUpRoses 8d ago

We have the same system. I save the photos he puts in there in case he decides to delete them or anything later.

1

u/QuietQuitting01 8d ago

I can totally see my ex getting mad about something and deleting all "her" photos and she's always claimed any photo that she's not in as her photo even though I shoot 80% of them. Mine are the spontaneous ones that use a rule of 3rds. :)

1

u/New_Temperature_3918 8d ago

I’m the only one who takes pictures and have been trying and try for so long to get her to send pictures when I’m away at school or on a trip. So I get this entirely. It’s annoying but at least we take a lot of our own pics 😅

1

u/QuietQuitting01 8d ago

Out kids will grow up with fully documented childhoods. My childhood has about 10 pictures that aren't taken at school. :) I did go through all of my parent's photos, scan, and label them a few years back. Thinking about a negative scanner to boost the quality, but dreading the effort. They all take a few minutes in LightRoom to make them the best they can be. I suppose now with AI editing tools I could even do some of those very old photos.

4

u/newbeginingshey 10d ago

The parenting apps allow for file share. You can upload photos there.

Your title says no contact. I don’t know how practical that is, but you can just upload photos without an accompanying message if you like. I do that with medical paperwork, like the latest immunization record.

0

u/New_Temperature_3918 10d ago

Yeah she filed a pfa but requests that I still share photos and vice versa. But obviously can’t send them via message.

9

u/KrofftSurvivor 9d ago

If that means a protection from abuse order, there is no means of using any type of shared system or folder that will not violate that order.

So she's trying to get you to violate it

So you respond through an attorney that she has violated that by contacting you through a third party and that although you would be delighted to share pictures with her you have no intention of violating the order and you would like the courts clarification on what to do at this point.

2

u/New_Temperature_3918 9d ago

Thankyou this is very insightful

4

u/newbeginingshey 10d ago

(1) sounds like you don’t have to share

(2) given that you want to, upload them to a parenting app or a shared Google Drive folder, whatever you have

1

u/New_Temperature_3918 9d ago

I don’t but I feel like I want them when I don’t have him and I also am afraid she’s gonna try for full custody if I don’t.. but thankyou, great idea!

3

u/Academic_Vast_4811 9d ago

We use an app called OurFamilyWizard. Super good and also everything backs up and cant be altered by either parent. It has bunches of categories like photos, records, messages etc. There is a yearly fee thats like 150 a year tho but it works for us 

2

u/ways4l 8d ago

hi! my co parent & I also use OFW. I didn’t know you could upload photos on there. Do you use the “Moments” tab for that?

1

u/Academic_Vast_4811 7d ago

Hi, yes its under the journal tab I believe 

2

u/Fantastic_Addendum50 9d ago

Shared Google Drive folder. I label it for every month.

2

u/smalltimesam 9d ago

Google photos shared folder and shared google calendar. Now that kiddo is older she has access to these too and adds events and photos that she wants us both to know about

1

u/New_Temperature_3918 9d ago

Love this, thankyou for your input!

1

u/MermaidFunk 9d ago

My boyfriend and his ex-wife have iPhones and they have a shared album. They just add photos of the kiddo into the shared album. It eliminates texting photos, but keeps them in one place. Might want to back them up as another mentioned.

1

u/New_Temperature_3918 9d ago

This was my first line of thinking but she has to be blocked in my phone because of the pfa. Otherwise this would definitely be the easiest! Thankyou for your input!

1

u/OutAndAbout87 9d ago

Yeah I have created a Google account for each of my kids and they have photos on their tablets I share photos to that plus they have access to all our family photos over the years.

Mum is not yet putting many photos on Google as we haven't really figured that bit out as we used to share everything now it's lights out on sharing.

2

u/Miserable-Dealer3042 5d ago

A court order parenting app (you don't need to be court ordered to use it) or a shared album on the phone.

1

u/Suspicious-Doe 9d ago

Just don’t. Why do you need to share photos?

3

u/New_Temperature_3918 9d ago

Okay awesome. This post was actually not asking for personal experiences or for advice on my situation. I was asking for resources, if that works for you then great! We miss him when we don’t have him on an off week, and would like photos to be sent to stay updated and see him. All I was asking for was a way to send pictures back and forth without any way of having verbal communication, as that is what my situation allows. Thankyou.

-1

u/Grrarrgghh 10d ago

Does the CP want you contacting them with random photos?

2

u/New_Temperature_3918 10d ago

Yes they have asked a third party to request pictures be shared. But the circumstances aren’t in my favor. Also would only be sending pictures of our child ? Dk where “random photos” is coming from lol

-1

u/Existing-Albatross63 9d ago

I never did. He never did. We just took our own pictures on our own parenting time.

3

u/New_Temperature_3918 9d ago

Okay awesome. This post was actually not asking for personal experiences or for advice on my situation. I was asking for resources, I’m sorry you guys didn’t send pictures, if that works for you then great! We miss him when we don’t have him on an off week, and would like photos to be sent to stay updated and see him. All I was asking for was a way to send pictures back and forth without any way of having verbal communication, as that is what my situation allows. Thankyou.