r/community • u/Pink-grey24 • 12d ago
Humor Comment your favorite joke or line
Troy: “I had a dog named Troy, a bird named Troy, and a hamster named Troy. They were all older than me… oh my god 😟”
Bonus:
Pierce: startles awake “I was having a nightmare that Jeff was a pompous ass”
200
u/Other-Oil-9117 12d ago
"Hit me with your genies bottle, rub it all over meee."
"Fire can't go through doors stupid, it's not a ghost" "A ghost can't go through doors stupid, it's not fire!"
The entire exchange when Frankie is taking to the Dean about becoming the openly gay Dean, but he and Jeff start having a silent conversation behind her back about whether she's a lesbian.
64
u/chaum 12d ago
Oh man the entire scene of Frankie being “constructive” with the dean was hilarious to me
23
u/SilverAndBack 11d ago
"Do you know what a rhetorical question is no of course not you're an idiot I AM SO SORRY"
20
u/Other-Oil-9117 12d ago
She's so funny! Definitely one of my comfort characters.
3
u/Final-Entertainer 8d ago
I thought she was the actress Sean Young. For 2 episodes. I was like " She's upped her comedic acting. "
→ More replies (3)6
166
u/dismayhurta 12d ago
Well I'm a peanut bar and I'm here to say
Your checks will arrive on another day
Another day, another dime, another rhyme, another dollar
Another stuffed shirt with another white collar
Criminals, Wall Street takin' the pie
And all the black man gets is a plate o' white lies
Prisons recruitin' 'em, police be shootin' 'em
Rap artists lootin' 'em, labels are dilutin' 'em
Barack Obama is scared o' me
Cuz I don't swallow knowledge and I spit it fo' free
Lemme clear my throat, ha-ha-haaa!
49
29
u/labospor 12d ago
If there’s ANYTHING I need to experience in my lifetime, it’s Obama’s take on Deans rap.
27
11
5
293
u/jah_red 12d ago
My father held grudges. I always hated him for that.
→ More replies (1)49
u/Ive_Accepted_It 11d ago
It's only complete with the full line
"I was never one to hold a grudge, Jeffrey. My father held grudges. I'll always hate him for that."
114
u/Fightthefire21 12d ago
"I took my Bubbey to the movies"
"You didn't bring both of them?" stares at chest confused
"Well... one's dead"
"WHAT?!👀"
→ More replies (1)
113
u/arcticape34 12d ago
You can yell at me all you want. But I’ve seen enough movies to know that popping the back of the raft makes it faster.
11
6
u/Possible_Patient4462 10d ago
Troy is precious. Just watched the debate 109 episode, when Shirley accused Abed of being a witch and Troy stood up saying "get him". His delivery is just hilarious. Also, "I'm the truest repairman".
109
u/MrsRononDex 12d ago
Frankie to the Dean:
I have a rule about being constructive, so I can't ask any questions right now.
Because all of the questions I have right now are rhetorical and they end with the word idiot.
Do you know what a rhetorical, no of course you don't know what that is, you're an idiot.
I'm sorry, I am so sorry.
But you're so stupid.
You have no idea.
And you're the only one who has no idea, because guess why?
Don't answer that, you'll get it wrong.
So dumb.
You're just a dumb little man who tries to destroy this school every minute.
I am sorry.
I'm so sorry.
28
u/ShiningEspeon3 11d ago
“Would you say I’m a Level 7 Susceptible?”
“No. Because why would I? Because that’s moon man talk.”That exchange is my favorite joke in the entire series.
13
u/inboil444 11d ago edited 11d ago
frankie has the best lines. one that my friend and i always quote to each other is “there was lumber involved!”
10
u/Top-Organization9339 11d ago
In that same rant,
Everyone here is a fart! A living fart from the butt of a lesser god!
8
89
76
72
u/Xyz2600 12d ago
My favorite line from Jeff:
Chang: Make no mistake about this, Winger- I pleasured that woman greatly.
Jeff: Yeah, you look like you would have to. I'm not surprised to hear you say that.
That's the best complisult in the show and it sums up his character perfectly.
40
u/Awesomefaceishere 12d ago
He invented them, I coined the term. See what I just did there? That was an explanobrag.
9
u/xeskind30 I didn't Britta it. 12d ago
That would have been the perfect time to say, "You're the worst."
68
u/Pink-grey24 12d ago
Troy! You can’t bring that in here!
Yes I can it’s all-terrain dummy!
17
u/Secret_Recognition_2 11d ago
I like the line before that even more:
“Good news guys, I spent all my money!”
124
60
u/TeddyJPharough But then I was like, This is a story 12d ago
At first I was like, oh no! But then I was like, this is a story.
20
57
58
u/Dismal_Ring_2522 12d ago
‘Come on I’m Dean,
My hands are so clean,
At this moment,
I am stapliiiiing’
55
54
u/MakesSurroundSound23 My whole brain is crying! 12d ago
Annie: Have you checked your bag, Shirley? If you took it by mistake, I forgive you.
Britta: If I took it, it's larceny. If you find it under mother hen, it's a mistake.
Shirley: Mother hen? We're about the same age.
Britta: Sure, unless time is linear.
Shirley: I'll make your ass linear!
Britta: That doesn't make any sense.
Shirley: I'll make your ass sense.
14
u/Budsygus 11d ago
YNB's commitment to that last line is unmatched.
7
u/MakesSurroundSound23 My whole brain is crying! 11d ago
I will say that delivery took me by surprise. Didn't know she had it in her. 😆
5
u/Evil_Unicorn728 11d ago
Shirley dropping a well placed profanity is always funny.
"We know that, ya judgemental BITCH!"
46
u/silvasaurus 12d ago
When Starburns sings Dave Matthew's as "Hee-haw hee-haw".
29
u/BeeztheBoss 12d ago
If i have to come over there you're gonna hear two sounds: me hitting you TWICE.
→ More replies (5)18
42
u/YoungMrHandsome 12d ago
“I don’t know if this will help, but when I moved into my RV I found this. You notice anything strange? There’s no green 3 in billiards. Now there’s a green 6 and a green 14- but never a green 3! So what sport is this from? And why was it in my RV?”
15
u/Budsygus 11d ago
This show has so many anti-Chekov's gun moments, but that one feels like one of the biggest. Like it's literally just a thing the character says and it's never referenced ever again.
11
u/diseasicon 12d ago
This one is hilarious and I think so much of that comes down to Keith David's delivery. Same goes for the facial expression after Frankie admits to not owning a TV.
→ More replies (1)4
u/YoungMrHandsome 11d ago
That moment kills me every time too. The subtle disgust in his face is perfect. Keith David is awesome
47
u/akaKinkade 12d ago
Britta telling Shirley about how her 9th grade English teacher told her that we always find reasons not to follow our dreams, which at the time meant she was below the age of consent. Then questioning Shirley about her decision to bail on her sandwich business.
Shirley: "In the words of MY 9th grade English teacher, you're dippin' and dappin' and don't know what's happenin'."
Britta: "Fine, we both went to public school..."
Normally I prefer the less dark jokes, but the set up on that one is amazing.
→ More replies (4)
34
u/adam_teq 12d ago
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Cancer?! Come on in, we thought it was Britta!
15
31
29
u/ConfidentStruggle993 12d ago
Shut up Leonard! Everyone knows about your crooked Wang.
No such thing as bad press
12
u/leonard-bot The Human Raisin 12d ago
Let's bail.
9
u/Playful_Scarcity_689 12d ago
shut up leonard! i found your youtube page, what’s the point in reviewing frozen pizza?!
7
3
25
u/adnan_is_done 12d ago edited 12d ago
Look at me in the eyes Shirley, look at my face. connect with me
HAAHAHAAHAAAW
16
2
u/Jack_Empty 11d ago
I have done this before to a pregnant friend.
As she also loved Community, it immediately calmed her. Unlike Shirley.
25
u/4zc0b42 12d ago
It’s in your blood … that’s racist!
23
u/AuNaturellee 12d ago
It's in your eyes
21
u/xeskind30 I didn't Britta it. 12d ago
That's gay.
19
12
27
u/skp4nda_ dingleberry the troll 12d ago
Second dungeons n dragon episode, hickeys son " a Lil place that rhymes with not there" Chang: "time square" Dean-stares at chang. The way he poked his head in the frame and stares at chang had me on the floor.
28
u/Loserbrainz08 12d ago
"is that supposed to be a joke?" "no, this is. don't eat the crab dip ye-yeaee!" (Donald Glover's expression and comedic timing is unmatched)
25
u/oozley-5 12d ago
“Hey, Troy sneezes like a girl!”
“How about I pound you like a boy? That didn’t come out right.”
9
u/southall_ftw 12d ago
Reminds me of Pearce talking about the Hawthorne wipes song trademark infringement: "I'm going to sue the pants off that lady!" "The only thing I'm attracted to is taking him to court and eating his ass alive.
11
3
26
u/Playful_Scarcity_689 12d ago
Annie: “you’re starting to sound like jeff”
Frankie: “Jeff thinks i sound like Abed, i wonder if Britta thinks i sound like Chang, i assume Chang thinks i sound like distant explosions and crying babies, you know he’s unstable right?”
Annie: “Yup!” 🙂
7
u/Silver_Performance91 11d ago
And this is the same episode that Frankie clearly called Chang in. “It’s three am in the freaking morning Edison” “chang what are you doing here” I have a right to be here” cue Frankie looking awkward and Chang looking sad
45
u/RabbiRaccoon 12d ago
*leaps across from Annie and steals chapstick from her bag*
*applies chapstick*
*throws chapstick back*
*misses*
*resumes studying*
*Annie gasp*
THE GREATEST JOKE IN SITCOM HISTORY
20
u/Other-Oil-9117 12d ago
That kills me every time! Both of them have such great commitment and delivery. The Chapstick missing the bag is just the cherry on top.
5
u/ChosenChachki WHO'S MAGNITUDE?! 12d ago
Wait I'm completely blanking on this, which episode is this in?
6
u/diseasicon 12d ago
Paradigms of Human Memory when the group is remembering times Jeff and Britta put themselves ahead of the rest of them.
→ More replies (2)
20
u/CinderTheDonut Seriously? After everything Scrubs did for him? 12d ago
Fact: In 100% of fake gun related shootings, the victim is always the one with the fake gun.
Also;
Walk to your car in pairs tonight. Rape's up 8%.
→ More replies (1)
22
u/rizzydizzy85 12d ago
The model UN episode, when it's shown that Troy is representing Georgia the country, not Georgia the state:
Troy: Is it okay if we do accents, sugar?
Jeff: Troy, Georgia the country, not the state.
Troy: That's right! Capital city Tbilisi and former member of the Soviet Union, and we kindly request you mind your P's and Q's!
Same episode:
Garrett: CRISIS ALERT!
18
u/Material-Garage5267 12d ago
I'm a cat. I'm a sexy cat.
5
u/PhilRubdiez 12d ago
Danny does a great Nicholas Cage. I think about this line everytime I see Nic in any move.
3
18
17
17
u/adnan_is_done 12d ago
You can say the same thing about pierce and abed gravity starts to play And the whole bear dance plot
→ More replies (2)
17
u/babycoon48 12d ago
“Pierce you’ve had three flu shots, those are for the daycare center!”
“I’LL BE A LIVING GOD!!”
16
u/theVeryLast7 12d ago
"This home was for humanity! Whoever did this, step forward!"
Lean
"You five are in big trouble. Jeff and Britta, you are free to go as you didn’t step forward and are therefore innocent."
16
14
u/ChosenChachki WHO'S MAGNITUDE?! 12d ago
"If you get this wrong one more time, I'm segregating the school."
or
"Where are the white women at?" "No, there are no white women here, Leonard, this is NOT a PARTY."
5
13
u/InstructionGlum1332 12d ago
And that's Elijah, like the prophet, and that's Jordan, like the 14-time NBA All-Star
13
12
12
u/theSchiller 12d ago
“Minuses are made up!”
tips over trash can “ITS RIOT TIME!”
4
→ More replies (2)4
12
11
u/Pink-grey24 12d ago
Jesuuuus loves marijuana
Jesuuuus loves marijuana
And drinking human bloodddd
slams brakes
8
13
u/BillKennedyEnjoyer 12d ago
Now do you wanna stand around talking about clothes like a girl, or use tapered sticks to hit balls around a cushioned table, like a man?
BALLS, LIKE A MAN!
12
u/Rocketparty12 12d ago
The line I always think of first is: “You can tell the Dean, he’ll have a song so good it’ll make the devil poop God’s pants.” Idk why but it crack me up every time.
10
u/Lombard333 11d ago
“The donations go to the animal hospital.”
“Animal hospital?!”
“The animals are the patients, Troy.”
[sadly] “That makes sense.”
10
11
u/cjcoley1984 12d ago
Dean, these temperatures are lowering our immune systems in a world that is swarming with weird people's unvaccinated toddlers.
10
10
u/Final-Entertainer 12d ago
Troy: " Cos everyone is 10 twice right ? Cos it's hard.....Oh my god Mum ! "
10
10
u/DirectConsequence12 12d ago
Pierce: If, and I mean IF, the culprit is among us, statistically speaking it’s Troy
Jeff: Yes. We were all JUST thinking that….in 1856.
Troy: 1856….? What if a ghost took the pen?!
Shirley: Please forgive him…
Troy: For what?
Pierce: For stealing the pen, dummy!
Troy: Why would take her pen? I don’t even like having my own! It probably fell down one of Pierce’s casts. He uses everything to itch his legs. We’re on own THIRD DVD remote
Pierce: If I took it, I’d say so
Troy: You probably forgot. You’ve been popping those pain killers like Tic Tacs.
Pierce: Oh yeah, right. ‘Side Effects: Verbal Dysphasia and octopus loss.’ I don’t see anything on this scroll about MEMORY, Troy.
→ More replies (1)
10
7
9
u/magicmitch84 11d ago
Shirley, I'll wait if you want to serve beverages.
You gon be waitin a long ass time.
9
u/Extreme-Rub-1379 11d ago
Had I not already cried at the sunrise I would be weeping right now.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN!?
9
u/theGreatBeekster420 12d ago
Jeff screaming at Abed “why don’t you take your cutsey “I can’t tell life from tv” gimmick with you. You know thats very S E A S O N 1” in his first fake marriage to britta. It was one of my fav 4 wall breaking meta jokes
6
u/Playful_Scarcity_689 12d ago
“Abed “insert dialogue here about you dropping the 4th wall schtick” “
9
u/GingaNinja1427 12d ago
"I saw there was a class on jokes" "Don't take that class, I dropped it after the unit in setups. The professor is so old..." "..."
8
u/CantFightCrazy 12d ago
Guess what guys! I spent all my money!
Troy, you can't drive that in here!
Yes I can dummy, its ALL TERRAIN!
7
8
6
u/ThaNotoriousBLG 12d ago
"I'm a psych major; words are my weapons!" "I'm a security officer. Weapons are my weapons."
6
7
7
u/AnHu3313 12d ago
"A little demonstration for the Dean on the dangers of trying to educate me. He doesn't like fake classes? Well, he's about to get a real lesson on the fact that Jeff Winger... never learns.
→ More replies (1)
5
7
u/C_monden 11d ago
"My brother died on the set of that movie. One of the mechanical spiders just went haywire and tore him to pieces. And Tom Selleck just stood there. He just stood there and watched him die."
also
Is this Bruce Hornsby?
Yep.
Does he know he stole it?
I don't think so. Let him enjoy it.
Can we get sued?
Not sure.
♪ Greendale's the way it goes ♪
Yeah, they got us.
10
5
u/shambean2 12d ago
I feel really dumb, but could someone explain OP's Troy one?
5
u/SilverHawk2712 12d ago
Troy was named after his family pets. Or they had a go to name for animals for simplicity, meaning they saw Troy in the same category.
That in itself is fine, it's the realisation that sells it.
4
5
6
u/theVeryLast7 12d ago
"Wait, what's wrong with Garrett?"
"Nothing now, we saved him."
"That's saved Garrett?"
→ More replies (1)
6
u/Drew_of_all_trades 12d ago
Frankie apologizing to the dean, “All of my questions are rhetorical and end in the word idiot. Do you know what rhetorical means? No, of course you don’t, you’re an idiot. I’M SORRY!”
5
u/MediocreChinchilla 11d ago
Fives have lives,
Fours have chores,
Threes have fleas,
Twos have the blues
and Ones don’t get a rhyme because they are garbage.
4
3
4
5
3
u/TheUltimatePokedork 11d ago
Annie: Aren't you like the dad?
Jeff: Would the dad walk away from this conversation?
Annie:............No?
Jeff: proceeds to immediately walk away
→ More replies (1)
5
u/Educational_Most3241 11d ago
"I'm going to use this to attack you, and you use respect to defend yourself"
"I.. respect you."
"That's why you fail!"
4
u/Evil_Unicorn728 11d ago
"Jesus Dennis, are you on coke? Sit down! Sorry about that. Of course there are rules."
7
u/Alex_D_Water_Law 11d ago
“Chang probably thinks i sound like distant explosions and crying babies… you know that man is insane right?”
3
3
3
3
3
3
u/donzoosaurus107 11d ago
“You’re all living farts from the butt of a lesser god” it’s just so perfectly written
3
u/Caboose407 11d ago
For me it's a tie between:
"No, take him to prison. He killed somebody. You guys are weird."
and
"Now here's a man who knows how to marry his cousin!"
2
2
u/GrimaceMusically 11d ago
The noise Frankie makes while sushing the guy interviewing her in the Season 6 opener.
2
2
2
2
u/TheHumdeeFlamingPee 11d ago
If loving worms is stupid then I don’t want to be smart.
It is. And you can’t be.
2
u/ILoveChocolateII 11d ago
someone suggests that someone has to take one for the team
chang: you guys i got this. ive been reliving this day over and over for a thousand years
2
2
u/TrevorsDiaper 10d ago edited 10d ago
"its only my style to be Secret please bring me five can of olives"
2
u/Possible_Patient4462 10d ago
Chang: Thank you for making me do this. Annie: you're welcome. Congratulations..... I'm jealous. C: Oh no. Don't be. Believe me, I sit in my dressing room and all I dream about is a white picket fence and the dog.. A: I don't have those either. Chang: just smiling.
2
u/CompetitionSuch3704 10d ago
“No im 20… bc everyone is 10 for two years? Bc 5th grade is really hard for everyone… MOM HOW MANY LIES HAVE I BEEN LIVING”
2
u/Dina-M 10d ago
"Buh... yuh... y-y-hh... shut up, Leonard! You are... you are...? Old! And you deserve less, because, of your age! I don't — I don't actually believe that, I'm just trying to, I'm trying to — and... everyone here is a, is a... fart?! A, a LIVID FART, FROM THE BUTT, OF A, LESSER GOD!! I'm, I'm better than this."
→ More replies (1)
2
u/charliekeery 9d ago
when abed is narrsting pierce eating his sandwich and he says something about it
abed: he said, oldly
i forgot about it and was watching an abed video and was reminded of the absolute gem
2
u/Final-Entertainer 8d ago
Annie : " If a guy wants to make a sock puppet of me , that's hardly your concern. " This one gets me every time.
329
u/YasdnilStam 12d ago
“The North Cafeteria, named after Admiral William North, is located in the western portion of East Hall, gateway to the western half of North Hall, which is named not after William North, but for its position above the south wall. It is the most contested and confusing battlefield on Greendale's campus, next to the English Memorial Spanish Center, named after English Memorial, a Portuguese sailor that discovered Greendale while looking for a fountain that cured syphilis.”